How would YOU know?

[tactic]

Okay, let's play a little game here, a challenging one.

Let's say you didn't know anything about women, you were a complete AFC. Then one day you liked a girl, and this happened for a period of time and you met up with her and such. Then you said to yourself, "I think she likes me", and then a few days later you see her with another guy, DATING him.

Now, REMEMBER... You do not know any of the stuff you learned here. What would be some ways for you to find out why she went for another guy and not you?

Then, write a list of what you KNOW right now aftering going to this site.

Here is mine:

WITHOUT SoSuave/Tips:

-Feel bad about it for days
-Get jealous

WITH Sosuave/Tips:

-KNOW that she is testing me
-KNOW that she likes the other guy more because of either power/appearance/personality
-KNOW that she was waiting too long for me to approach her

This is for a small research, It would be appreciated if you could respond with the answers

 

[Freddy1]

I would say the hell with her and go meet other women. Its her lost. Get out of the scarcity mind set. Stop being an emotional tampon. Stop playing into her juvenille mind games. There are soo many fishes in the sea.

Why should I feel bad over a girl? Why should I need to feel jealous over a girl? All you do is fall right into her manipulations with that kind of thinking. All it does is set yourself up for being an AFC whether you are concious of it or not; your self-training yourself to be an AFC.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

-KNOW that she is testing me
-KNOW that she likes the other guy more because of either power/appearance/personality

And here is another problem.... getting contradictory advice.

Those 2 options seem to me like they are mutually exclusive. How could you possibly arrive at both conclusions and for both to be true?

If she likes you but is testing you, then the other guy can't be more desireable to her than you, because why would she test a less desireable guy and go back to him if he "passes" if the instrument of her test is someone better than you in her eyes? That doesn't make any sense.

That's like saying you are going to "test" a Ford dealer by buying a BMW and if he passes the test you'll return it and buy a Pinto!

If she likes the other guy more and she is with him, she has no use for you, so whats the point of her wasting effort on "testing" you? And what would she exactly be testing if she has moved on to someone higher up than you on her scale?

Once again, going to our car example. If you were test driving a Ford and a BMW and you ended up with the BMW, why the hell would you care what happened to that Ford in the dealership? You're already all set.

If you KNOW BOTH things then you are obviously one confused man who only thinks he knows whats going on.

Obviously she can only be doing 1 of the 2 things above. And likely it seems like its the 2nd.

-KNOW that she was waiting too long for me to approach her

That may or may not be true. But think about it, even if you WERE to approach her first and gone out with her and someone better came along shortly thereafter, then its still a toss up to what she would do. If she wasn't particularly attached to you yet she could've just dumped you and went with him.

When you admit that the guy she is seen with later is BETTER than you than you're in a lose/lose situation. There really isn't much you could've done. Unless of course by some cosmic coincidence she met the guy on a Thursday night at a singles dance and if you two were dating already you wouldve had other plans for that they and thus theyd never meet. But other than that, you lost, time to move on.

 

[tactic]

The two options that you made a comment about are basically seperate things. They weren't both the same involved situations. A girl may be testing you by faking a date with another guy, however if the guy was actually better, then she wouldn't be faking it nor testing you. But my question is, did we DJs find this out just by using our common sense or through some science-level stuff? by science-level i am talking about complicated brain structural studies, etc etc.

 

[Freddy1]

Originally posted by tactic
.... A girl may be testing you by faking a date with another guy, however if the guy was actually better, then she wouldn't be faking it nor testing you. ....

If a girl needs to play mind games with you then why play the role of the AFC wussy? Why become a supllicating "Yes dear" "Yes dear" "Yes Dear" neard?
One shouldnt even bother with with such irrelevent nonsense.



If your stuck in "if the guy was actually better" it means you are insecure AFC.

 

[Freddy1]

Guys have have to learn to be Alpha males not AFC wussy neards.
Learn not to take crap from girls or play into their mind games or social frames. Girls will try to get guys to suplicate. Guys who suplicate arnt respected. They walk around like diarrhea in their pants.

Another thing one should air with caution when taking women advice over the net. "Oh I got my sex education off the internet" [sarcasm]
Go spend some money on a good program instead. Take what you read off net with discretion.

 

[escobar04]

I would get all jealous and be heartbroken

...but I would do nothing about it and move on

as of right now.....thank you sosuave!

 

[tactic]

Thanks for the replies.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

I don't think spending money on a good program will get you anything you couldn't have found on the net for free at places like this.

Most dating advice is centered around the same theme: be confident, don't let her play games, don't get Oneitis, etc.

And programs based on NLP or other stuff are also not always worth the money. Why not learn NLP on your own and put it to good use how you see fit?

I would say learn the science behind the program rather than just the program which is only 1 application of that science, because if you know WHY it works rather than just WHAT works then you'll be able to use it better and make up your own moves. It also helps you use it when you improvise and have to adapt to a particular situation a dating "system" hasn't gone over.

Its like teachers always say to students, don't just read and memorize the material, UNDERSTAND the material. And the best way to understand psychological tricks of influence is to understand the principles behind them not just memorizing some lines that are just 1 application (or possible application) of those principles.

 

[tactic]

I'm Joe Dirt, that was a good answer. Thanks.

 

[Freddy1]

Originally posted by I'm Joe Dirt
I don't think spending money on a good program will get you anything you couldn't have found on the net for free at places like this.

It seems there is alot of bad advice on the net (not there isnt some good advice around). Keep in mind alot of guys come on these forums precisly because they are AFC's. People are asking advice from people who are having problems with women to begin with. ("the blind leading the blind" analogy)

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Originally posted by I'm Joe Dirt


And programs based on NLP or other stuff are also not always worth the money. Why not learn NLP on your own and put it to good use how you see fit?
I would say learn the science behind the program rather than just the program which is only 1 application of that science, because if you know WHY it works rather than just WHAT works then you'll be able to use it better and make up your own moves. It also helps you use it when you improvise and have to adapt to a particular situation a dating "system" hasn't gone over.

No not necessarily true. Ive read into NLP 4 years ago; so I do know the theory behind it. There are problems with it in ceratin apllications. Try it on the real world. There are alot of unexpected reactions that can backfire on you. In total I spent 3 years doing a program on NLP. Theres a alot of kinks to be work out. Even one experience NLPer admit (initially) having alot of problems initializing NLP for seduction. (Mark Cunningham)
(Keep in mind a number of NLPers already explains that you can use NLP in others areas of life already and also goes into the theories of how it works eg how patterns works and how one can make their own etc.)

The money part I agree with. Its rather expensive and sometimes (not always) not worth it.


Tactic read the post on NLP
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=79287



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Originally posted by I'm Joe Dirt


Its like teachers always say to students, don't just read and memorize the material, UNDERSTAND the material. And the best way to understand psychological tricks of influence is to understand the principles behind them not just memorizing some lines that are just 1 application (or possible application) of those principles.

Of course you have to understand the principles behind it. Why wouldnt you? It does not mean you wont encounter scores of problems with it. Theory and practice are two seperate things. Why not learn from someone's elses experiences than rather learn it the hard way? If some guy has been doing NLP for 20 yrs and is willing to teach 20yrs worth of experience (of what works and doesnt works) why re-invent the wheel?
NPLers still go to Bandler seminars regardless because he always has cutting edge technology vs. old NLP approaches.

(Keep in mind even Bandler was willing to model himself after Erickson. Bandler was also willing to learn from his own students like Dilts etc who branched off in other directions. )

I have read Bandler, Erickson, Dilts, Suzy Smith etc

 

[Freddy1]

Tactic if you cant afford a whole lot of money there are some decent material on picking up women out there. There is this one book I used years ago and it works like extreamly well. It uses a pavlovian* induction method.


*(Pavlov was the scientist who was able to make dogs salivate by using a psychological process that also works on humans for other things [in a nut shell]. The Russians, North Koreans and others were heavily into him for their brainwashing experiments.)

 

[tactic]

Originally posted by Freddy1
Tactic if you cant afford a whole lot of money there are some decent material on picking up women out there. There is this one book I used years ago and it works like extreamly well. It uses a pavlovian* induction method.


*(Pavlov was the scientist who was able to make dogs salivate by using a psychological process that also works on humans for other things [in a nut shell]. The Russians, North Koreans and others were heavily into him for their brainwashing experiments.)

Yeah i know about Pavlov. He studied the Conditionings.

 

[Freddy1]

As long as you saty away from the Eric Weber's books (god is he awful).(probably get you slapped on the face)
R. Don Steele's book is better as it does explain the psychology of women in various age groups but its still using more or less traditional dating methods. (mainly for older guys who want to get younger women)
Lori Gammon's book on how to have Threesomes is okay but there are better methods out there.

If you want Pavlovian method then Thomas W. McKnight's Love Tactic is the way to go. I have used it in the past with lots of good success.

etc.
(I have tried tons of material some are good some are terrible.)



Some people like Ross Jeffries material but personally I wouldnt recomend it. Its too complicated and I heard of stories of guys getting into trouble using his NLP methods. (I heard of guys getting arrested for christ sake.) (NLP is good for self improvement though.) Alot of guys have complained about his system.
I would go with De Angelo instead.

(Yes I'm your drill Sgt damit! )