How would you handle this comment from the woman which seems to be subtly referring to sex?

[devilkingx2]

In 3 dates, we have only kissed and nothing further. I was teasing her that she should be a nun because she is such a goody to shoe type. She laughed and then asked me what that means and that guys have said this to her before. And then she said, in a very nice way, that she knows i'm just teasing her but she doesn't like guys in the past who judge her like that because they have not been in her shoes or truly know who she is and then clarified she's not talking about me because she knows i'm just teasing

This whole thing is a massive red flag. 3 dates and just a kiss even though this chick is 30 and not 15? She's prudish and gets offended if you even mention it?

This is a potential sign of a bad past (some sort of abuse).
It's also a sign that she is looking for or sees you as a provider/beta bux.
It's also a sign of low interest.

also I think she's sublty warning you that if you have a problem with her being a prude or mention it she's gonna get mad at you.

How would you respond in a "sosuave" way? I want to date her because she seems like a good wife material so I don't necessarily care if it takes more time for her to be open about sex but not sure exactly what she is saying? Maybe she means that she really is fine with sex but that people are judging her prematurely?

I never understood the dudes who think that not liking sex is what you want in a wife tbh.

Yes good question and I have NO IDEA why she has no guy trying to put a ring on it. She seems a lot better than other women who I have seen with rings on their finger that's for sure.

All women and all people have flaws, if you don't know what hers are yet then you definitely don't know that much about her. Good wife material is a girl who mostly has flaws that you don't care about or actually like.

 

[devilkingx2]

A 31-year-old woman texts a man and says "not to judge her" after the 41-year-old man texts her she is a "goody two-shoes".

So either the OP is 15 years old, really immature for his age, or this story is made up. My bet is on the latter latter.

He wouldn't be the first poster on SS to inflate his age or lay count to be fair.

 

[Sebastian0001]

OP, whenever a woman (let alone 31-year-old ones) demands men not to judge her, 99,999% of the times, she has had too much nasty stuff in the past to get rightfully judged, so she always fears being judged. Normally, it's the endless c0ck-carousel that she's been riding from high school until now, when she's finally past her prime and is targeting a provider-type of man to "settle down".

So, if I were you, I would not give a single FVCK about her WORDS (words mean almost NOTHING at all in most cases, especially when it comes to women). I would give her a maximum of 03 dates and if no sex happens at the 3rd date, she's out of my picture.

And about the "wifey-material" stuff? Too soon & too little data to even have a glimpse about it now man.

ya but i think she's saying the opposite, that she wishes ppl didn't judge her because she DOESN'T want to have sex and because she seems innocent and overly conservative - the whole convo started when i teased her for being a goody two shoe and she asked if that means a negative connotation and that guys have said that to her in the past

 

[Sebastian0001]

Your age says 41 in your profile.



Alpha f***s, beta bucks



3 dates, lets say 2 hours / date. In 6 hours you know she is good wife material? Rock on baby.



I'm not sure what you are saying.



A 31-year-old woman texts a man and says "not to judge her" after the 41-year-old man texts her she is a "goody two-shoes".

So either the OP is 15 years old, really immature for his age, or this story is made up. My bet is on the latter latter.

The ages are messed up on my profile. I'm 36 and she is 34. We both come from conservative cultures with conservative parents on things like dating and sex. I said I have an initial feeling that she is good wife material - I am obviously not sure of this. The way the convo went was I made a joke about her that had a slight sexual inuendo and she kinda got shy so I told her i was kidding and that i know she is the goody two shoe type. She then said does that have a negative meaning and that guys in the past said that about her. Then she said she wished those ppl in the past didn't make such judgements about her bc they didn't know her life and what life was like from her perspective. Also to note that she did not have a father in her life growing up. I don't know anything about her sexual life in the past but she dresses conservatively and gives me the vibe of someone who isn't very sexually open and free. She may or may not be a virgin, I have no clue but I would have to guess that she is not since she is 34.

 

[Thor’s hammer]

The ages are messed up on my profile. I'm 36 and she is 34. We both come from conservative cultures with conservative parents on things like dating and sex. I said I have an initial feeling that she is good wife material - I am obviously not sure of this. The way the convo went was I made a joke about her that had a slight sexual inuendo and she kinda got shy so I told her i was kidding and that i know she is the goody two shoe type. She then said does that have a negative meaning and that guys in the past said that about her. Then she said she wished those ppl in the past didn't make such judgements about her bc they didn't know her life and what life was like from her perspective. Also to note that she did not have a father in her life growing up. I don't know anything about her sexual life in the past but she dresses conservatively and gives me the vibe of someone who isn't very sexually open and free. She may or may not be a virgin, I have no clue but I would have to guess that she is not since she is 34.

I would advise to proceed with extreme caution with women who did not have a father when they grew up. They do not respect their partner because they never learned to respect a man in their past.

It sounds a bit strange that you are not having sex, even though you have been on three dates. Have you tried to escalate enough? Have you asked her to come over after a date? Move things forward. It would be very rare for a 34 year old woman to be a virgin. I would not count on that.

Do not trust what she is telling you, trust what she is showing you. Her conservative background means nothing, she is an adult and have been for years. Do not put her on a pedestal. It does not matter if she dresses conservatively, sometimes women do it to give a good girl image and hide their true nature.

Find more plates to spin if you can’t get her to sleep with you. She may be leading you on or she sees you as a provider. Having more options has never hurt any guy, having no options makes you desperate and dependent. What you are writing gives me a vibe that you are too invested in her.

 

[2Rocky]

i'd be tempted to take the conversation in the direcstion of "I'm beginning to wonder if your "pure as the driven snow" appearance is just an act...I'm wondering if you have a dirty little secret?"

I recall the night I met a woman who became a Multiple night ONS who said the words to me "I don't want you to think I'm 'that kind of girl'"

I replied "Well I'm THAT kinda guy."

Her reply (by text)?

"room 384"

 

[Sebastian0001]

I would advise to proceed with extreme caution with women who did not have a father when they grew up. They do not respect their partner because they never learned to respect a man in their past.

It sounds a bit strange that you are not having sex, even though you have been on three dates. Have you tried to escalate enough? Have you asked her to come over after a date? Move things forward. It would be very rare for a 34 year old woman to be a virgin. I would not count on that.

Do not trust what she is telling you, trust what she is showing you. Her conservative background means nothing, she is an adult and have been for years. Do not put her on a pedestal. It does not matter if she dresses conservatively, sometimes women do it to give a good girl image and hide their true nature.

Find more plates to spin if you can’t get her to sleep with you. She may be leading you on or she sees you as a provider. Having more options has never hurt any guy, having no options makes you desperate and dependent. What you are writing gives me a vibe that you are too invested in her.

Find more plates to spin as in date more women? I am still dating others but so far this one is the only I've liked since getting out of a longer term relationship that I was in. I agree with everything ur saying but u don't think there are some women who just culturally (or relgiously or whatever it may be) believe in waiting for sex? I'm not saying I want that kind of woman but if she happens to be like, it is what it is? I've met some who are adamant on not having sex until after marriage. Sex is very important to me but i'd rather wait for it IF the girl is worth it than date a bimbo just because she is more normal about sex and having sex after a few dates. Obviously, the ideal is to meet an awesome girl who also things modernly about sex but i can't control that?

 

[Sebastian0001]

Dude read The Rational Male if you have not. Im guessing you have not. It will explain your situation well.
Unplugged Alpha by Rich Cooper is getting good reviews.
Its sex or next bro.
Becoming an orbiter should not be an option for you.
Women speak covertly my friend. Not openly.
This is why escalating as soon as possible weeds these women out.

So u believe there is only 2 options sex or move on? There is no 3rd option? What if she just wants to wait for sex until the guy is more exclusive with her and committed to her? We all know women tend to become more attached after sex and i've seen some women who try to protect themselves by waiting until the relationship is exclusive and it's not likely to be after a few dates.

 

[Sebastian0001]

She is 30. She is past her hoe phase. Shes in her epiphany phase and is looking for the comfort transaction guy.
Covert contract.
Follow her lead and do what she asks while she provisions you with her vag. Dont fall for it.
Same girl ran the corousal at 18-25 and dont want heat for it.
What do i do with these types? Tease then escalate to blow out. I talk a bit graphic. She is either going to be your slut or someone elses.
If she flakes then you now know.
Got to be careful out there with this age bracket. They lookin for cash and stabity while they still take the D on the side from Tyrone while you work your azz off. Beware

lol can u give me some examples of "talking graphic" that has worked well for u?

 

[devilkingx2]

I agree with everything ur saying but u don't think there are some women who just culturally (or relgiously or whatever it may be) believe in waiting for sex?

Of course there are. But you have to make sure that this is one of those girls who goes to church on Sundays or whatever. Because it's also possible she just has issues with sex or low attraction to you.

Sex is very important to me but i'd rather wait for it IF the girl is worth it than date a bimbo just because she is more normal about sex and having sex after a few dates.

The problem is that in real life it's very common for girls to make you wait for bad reasons rather than good reasons. There's lots of dudes who buy a girl 4 dinners that they would've smashed on the first night if they met her at a night club and bought her 4 drinks instead.

 

[devilkingx2]

lol can u give me some examples of "talking graphic" that has worked well for u?

Saying anything sexual that's not too extreme is a good way to test her interest and steer things the way you want them to go.

Ask her what kind of sexy Halloween costume she wore this year/will wear next year. Recommend something like Harley Quinn

Tell her you want to take her lingerie shopping at Victoria's Secret.

Or say you want to get her a Christmas gift and ask her how short the shortest skirt/dress she's worn is or how short she can handle.

Take it from one of those and see where the conversation goes.

 

[Sebastian0001]

Of course there are. But you have to make sure that this is one of those girls who goes to church on Sundays or whatever. Because it's also possible she just has issues with sex or low attraction to you.

Good point - we are going out to dinner on Saturday night and I am thinking I will ask her to come over after or go to her place after. Any specific tips on how to get things more physical? At dinner, I'm going to sit on the same side of her on the booth so that we can have more physical touch. I might also try to hold her hand when we are walking.

The problem is that in real life it's very common for girls to make you wait for bad reasons rather than good reasons. There's lots of dudes who buy a girl 4 dinners that they would've smashed on the first night if they met her at a night club and bought her 4 drinks instead.

With this girl, she always offers to pay and half the time she pays when we go out. So I know she isn't using me or anything.

 

[Willie Naylor]

Women over 30 who are still single, are single for a reason.

Start dating the broad, and soon enough, you'll find the skeleton in her closet.

 

[Thor’s hammer]

Find more plates to spin as in date more women? I am still dating others but so far this one is the only I've liked since getting out of a longer term relationship that I was in. I agree with everything ur saying but u don't think there are some women who just culturally (or relgiously or whatever it may be) believe in waiting for sex? I'm not saying I want that kind of woman but if she happens to be like, it is what it is? I've met some who are adamant on not having sex until after marriage. Sex is very important to me but i'd rather wait for it IF the girl is worth it than date a bimbo just because she is more normal about sex and having sex after a few dates. Obviously, the ideal is to meet an awesome girl who also things modernly about sex but i can't control that?

I don’t know about the religious upbringing in US (I assume you live there?) and it’s effects since religious people here where I live are very rare and considered zealots by normal people. If you believe she is culturally conditioned to waiting for sex, you need ask your yourself: by which culture? Who raised her to be like that? US is a big country, you propably have different subcultures there? If she thinks that way, it is what it is as you said, but it is against human nature. I honestly hope you won’t get disappointed with this one. Been there, done that and that is why I’m asking you be cautious. You always want the things you cannot have. I have a friend who was seeing some girl but she had some stupid reason why she would not have sex with him. When I met her she was ready to get smashed the very same night.

It is entirely up to you, what you want from women. If you indeed want to find someone for LTR, go for it. No one but you can tell what type of relationship is right for you.

 

[bob2007]

She is not hot per se as a 9 or 10 would be but she has an athletic slender body type. She is cute. I'd say a 7 or 6.5 but her personality makes her more attractive. Her friends are not hot at all. Some are average and some are overweight and unattractive. I don't see any signs of guys talking to her regularly but there are a fair amount of guys that like her posts on social media. What would be the purpose of not talking for a while? When you say that the right time to kiss or **** is whe she is ready to escalate? The problem is it can go into friendzone if the guy never makes a move or waits too long to make a move. I want things to progress faster on the physical level with her.

She doesn't.

I'm impressed by this forum and all the comments. Everyone has this situation perfectly read. In my younger years, I'd be more optimistic like you. But now that I've been around a decade later... dating moves a lot quicker. This is not pre 2000s.

No guy has ever said, "I'm sure glad that I took it slow" - unless they are scared to lose the girl. Which is not the right spot.
Women over 28... they move hella fast. They will msg you and pretty much do everything. You don't even need to lift a finger.
This has been my experience for this generation.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

@Sebastian0001 is this girl Italian? Lol I bet @bob2007 has experience with them, being from NY.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

With this girl, she always offers to pay and half the time she pays when we go out. So I know she isn't using me or anything.

That's a classy thing to do. Over-30 Italian women actually tend to be either classy or fun and generally pleasant to be around, that is when you're not trying to f@ck them. Big caveat obviously.

I've noticed they are disproportionately represented on OLD by a factor of at least 3X. It's been my experience and it makes sense that there's major MPS involved, being that they're generally not that bad of people.

 

[2Rocky]

How would you respond in a "sosuave" way? I want to date her because she seems like a good wife material so I don't necessarily care if it takes more time for her to be open about sex but not sure exactly what she is saying? Maybe she means that she really is fine with sex but that people are judging her prematurely?

I'd let her know ON THE FIRST DATE.....Physical intimacy is a big part of my Love Languages, and that Passion (With a Capital P) is the glue that holds a relationship together. I'd flat out say "I wouldn't ask you on this date If I didn't want to sleep with you here, now, or later" .
Set that sexual tone right off the bat. Not being needy....Just letting her know she meets my standards, and more or less giving her permission to be sexual in return to me. And never being gross about it.

 

[Sebastian0001]

That's a classy thing to do. Over-30 Italian women actually tend to be either classy or fun and generally pleasant to be around, that is when you're not trying to f@ck them. Big caveat obviously.

I've noticed they are disproportionately represented on OLD by a factor of at least 3X. It's been my experience and it makes sense that there's major MPS involved, being that they're generally not that bad of people.

what does MPS mean?

 

[The Duke]

Op- No need to discuss matters like this. It's your job to lead and get her comfortable enough to buy in. Make it happen. She'll tell you no if she doesn't approve of your advances.

Girls that are super into you never provide resistance, no matter how prude they claim to be. Doesn't matter how many dates.

I'd bail on any chic that I hadn't fuhked by the 5th date and only if I thought she was very solid.

You should be able to easily fuhk a girl on the 2nd-3rd date if you know what you are doing.