How would you find a good roommate?

[BPH]

Looking into some housing options and what's affordable.

Right now I can't move too far away because my current job is my only income, and I'm not sure if I can count on my brother or one of my friends being available. The latter because he's living in New York paying less than $800/mo for where he lives, and the former because most of them are in LTRs living with their girlfriends.

So I'm wondering how to go about finding a roommate. I've heard plenty of stories of people going into these arrangements as friends...then ruining that friendship once forced to live with each other. I've also been on the receiving end of bad random roommate assignments during college both on and off-campus.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[sevbucmash]

It's same as OLD bro. You login to a site, create a profile, and hook up.

 

[Travel memoir21]

It's same as OLD bro. You login to a site, create a profile, and hook up.

In my opinion, just like business…don’t do it with a good friend or family…..it could sabotage your relationship.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Looking into some housing options and what's affordable.

Right now I can't move too far away because my current job is my only income, and I'm not sure if I can count on my brother or one of my friends being available. The latter because he's living in New York paying less than $800/mo for where he lives, and the former because most of them are in LTRs living with their girlfriends.

So I'm wondering how to go about finding a roommate. I've heard plenty of stories of people going into these arrangements as friends...then ruining that friendship once forced to live with each other. I've also been on the receiving end of bad random roommate assignments during college both on and off-campus.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

By NOT seeking one out, and instead committing to do what's required to TRULY live on your own... That means by yourself, until and if you decide to marry, or unless you need to take in a terminally ill relative for few months

Every man comes to this crossroads, BPH... It's your turn now

 

[Gamisch]

Good bro. Props where it's due. You woke up.

Salute.

1. Find a like minded person who is not necessarily a friend. Jealousy is a thing. If you go hard and homeboy is passive he will try to keep you down. 2.Preferably find a place where someone wants to rent a room so you can do your own thing

 

[SW15]

he's living in New York paying less than $800/mo for where he lives,

That's an amazing deal for New York.

most of them are in LTRs living with their girlfriends.

A lot of men near your age are living with girlfriends/wives. That gets common for men 30-35.

You might be able to get a mid-20s guy as a roommate.

A gym bro type could be a good option for a roommate. You might be able to find a good roommate through a gym connection. You and a male passionate about going to the gym could attract new women together.

You want a roommate who is good at paying bills on time and a good lifestyle match for you.

I've heard plenty of stories of people going into these arrangements as friends...then ruining that friendship once forced to live with each other. I've also been on the receiving end of bad random roommate assignments during college both on and off-campus.

Some people who are passable friends are not good as roommates.

Random roommate assignments in college dorms are often a failure. It's not much of a reflection on you.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Does it have to be a roommate? Have you looked into basement apartments?

I think there are some Facebook groups for communities in your city where you can make a quick post saying you're looking for a 'room to rent' or a roommate. People will start sharing what they have available.

 

[Chow Mein]

Why not continue to live with you parents if you are paying minimal or no rent?

This will allow you to take the risk of finding a job that gives you much better compensation.

If you are currently looking for ‘affordable’ housing, you might not have the financial stability yet.

Nothing wrong with living with your parents to save money, it will be much worse to be living paycheck to paycheck on your own.

 

[Gamisch]

Why not continue to live with you parents if you are paying minimal or no rent?

This will allow you to take the risk of finding a job that gives you much better compensation.

If you are currently looking for ‘affordable’ housing, you might not have the financial stability yet.

Nothing wrong with living with your parents to save money, it will be much worse to be living paycheck to paycheck on your own.

At what point does a man has to become independent and learn how to stand on his own ?

I had a homie in a similar situation . 34 living at home. I even told him he shouldn't worry and just save money. But he acknowledged he was practically undateble to quality women. And certain (low tier) women you don't even wanna be seen with. You can also only pull that trick so many times before your parents will start to complain.

Time flies after 30. Its literally like 10 years fly by in 7 /5 years. On top of that this IS his prime. He wont be better looking in 10 years and its sad to imagine all the great experiences you wont have because of your living situation. On top of all this ..

Boom hairline gone..boom metabolism slows down. Boom mental issues left and right. The best transition is to go from that situation straight to getting a NICE place perhaps (sometimes) even with a woman...other than that, you might wanna start to learn how to: cook, clean, decorate/style your house, garden, do maintenance on big and small shyte around your house.

We're not talking about a 20 y.o man who still studies. We are talking bout a man MAN who could be a grandfather in 10 years..That's how close phases in our lives are. One day you are a teenager who gets hairs on his ballz, 5 years later you are fighting a war for your country and 5 years after that you are a father . We don't live forever.

 

[Chow Mein]

At what point does a man has to become independent and learn how to stand on his own ?

I had a homie in a similar situation . 34 living at home. I even told him he shouldn't worry and just save money. But he acknowledged he was practically undateble to quality women. And certain (low tier) women you don't even wanna be seen with. You can also only pull that trick so many times before your parents will start to complain.

Time flies after 30. Its literally like 10 years fly by in 7 /5 years. On top of that this IS his prime. He wont be better looking in 10 years and its sad to imagine all the great experiences you wont have because of your living situation. On top of all this ..

Boom hairline gone..boom metabolism slows down. Boom mental issues left and right. The best transition is to go from that situation straight to getting a NICE place perhaps (sometimes) even with a woman...other than that, you might wanna start to learn how to: cook, clean, decorate/style your house, garden, do maintenance on big and small shyte around your house.

We're not talking about a 20 y.o man who still studies. We are talking bout a man MAN who could be a grandfather in 10 years..That's how close phases in our lives are. One day you are a teenager who gets hairs on his ballz, 5 years later you are fighting a war for your country and 5 years after that you are a father . We don't live forever.

OP is 29, he needs to invest in his career now because you will start making the most money in your 30’s. Grind hard for a couple of years and by the time you’re approaching mid-30’s the money and women flow in like wine.

Unless you’re one of those thinking you won’t have a shot at young chicks when you’re older

 

[Gamisch]

OP is 29, he needs to invest in his career now because you will start making the most money in your 30’s. Grind hard for a couple of years and by the time you’re approaching mid-30’s the money and women flow in like wine.

Unless you’re one of those thinking you won’t have a shot at young chicks when you’re older

You will.have a shot but it's mostly a shot in the dark...

I do agree somewhat, but if this is his strategy hee should OWN it. Don't mention it to anyone. Have a default excuse( e.g my mother is sick imma take care of her) or be dead honest about your mission even if it will cost you losing some potential partners. Unfortunately women lobe to brag about their dude, and something as "understandable " as being NEET will already cost you TONS of good p00sy..just being real..

I agree at some point every man will have to take time off and reinvent himself. Even famous high value men go through this after a failed relationship where sometimes their lids are taken away from them. But it's extremely dangerous path to wak on when you are nonchalant with it while time flies by. When you are 20 you have more room for error. At 30 you gotta go GO.

In my opinion, just like business…don’t do it with a good friend or family…..it could sabotage your relationship.


View attachment 13375

You can crop your screenshot or download the image and remove it after posting...this screams "BOOMER gets his first iPhone 4 " to me lol.

 

[BaronOfHair]

At what point does a man has to become independent and learn how to stand on his own ?

Not just men, but everyone in The Post-Industrial West can avoid doing so indefinitely. That is and will continue to be a far more serious menace to our civilizations than Red China or Al Quaeda ever will be

 

[Gamisch]

Not just men, but everyone in The Post-Industrial West can avoid doing so indefinitely. That is and will continue to be a far more serious menace to our civilizations than Red China or Al Quaeda ever will be

True. Look at the thread about Italy. Italian men are considered to be good looking by default, yet Italy has one of the lowest birthrates in the west.

The " stay home till you marry" model only works when society as a whole encourages/forces women to play along (like Islamic cultures). Otherwise you'll create a discrepancy where women want liberalism and independence whereas men want traditionalism. Again, the birthrates speak for themselves. Something doesn't work and eventually those men will cry they are not "motivated to grind because no woman wants to clean his dirty underwear and cook for him".

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

But he acknowledged he was practically undateble to quality women.

As he should be. If he cannot even entertain them in his own apartment, what is in there for a quality woman? I moved out of my parents house when I was seventeen and lived in a student unit with my own room with bathroom and toilet for four and a half years before I had my own apartment at twenty-one.

Have you looked into basement apartments?

Anything is better than sharing your lodgings. My sex life between 17y-22y was pretty good because both I and the students I had sex with had at least their own room, even if it was with a landlord.

 

[BPH]

Why not continue to live with you parents if you are paying minimal or no rent?

This will allow you to take the risk of finding a job that gives you much better compensation.

If you are currently looking for ‘affordable’ housing, you might not have the financial stability yet.

Nothing wrong with living with your parents to save money, it will be much worse to be living paycheck to paycheck on your own.

That's what I'm doing now, I've just been here longer than I intended to be.

My brother has a good deal in NY, despite it being the most expensive place to live, but his unemployment ran out since he was let go so I wasn't sure if he would be open to looking at other options.

A gym bro type could be a good option for a roommate. You might be able to find a good roommate through a gym connection. You and a male passionate about going to the gym could attract new women together.

That's not a bad idea...I'm friends a couple guys that regularly go at the same time, very surface-level though.

Does it have to be a roommate? Have you looked into basement apartments?

I think there are some Facebook groups for communities in your city where you can make a quick post saying you're looking for a 'room to rent' or a roommate. People will start sharing what they have available.

I hadn't done much research yet, just wanted to ask people what's worked best for them. I checked the place I used to live off-campus since it was a nice complex and I'll verify the monthly rates, but it wasn't too bad when I went there.

@Gamisch @BaronOfHair

 

[Gamisch]

That's what I'm doing now, I've just been here longer than I intended to be.

My brother has a good deal in NY, despite it being the most expensive place to live, but his unemployment ran out since he was let go so I wasn't sure if he would be open to looking at other options.



That's not a bad idea...I'm friends a couple guys that regularly go at the same time, very surface-level though.



I hadn't done much research yet, just wanted to ask people what's worked best for them. I checked the place I used to live off-campus since it was a nice complex and I'll verify the monthly rates, but it wasn't too bad when I went there.

@Gamisch @BaronOfHair

View attachment 13381

Nope..imma keep helping. As long as the thread is open imma speak my mind.

Just make sure to help me when I'm in need. One love bro you got this. I wanna see you succeed!! You are on your way so again: salute .

 

[BaronOfHair]

Nope..imma keep helping. As long as the thread is open imma speak my mind.

Just make sure to help me when I'm in need. One love bro you got this. I wanna see you succeed!! You are on your way so again: salute .

I wish you success here, G. I'm honoring BPH's request. He's sadly one more example of someone who goes through all the trouble to come onto a site like this, request counsel, then "Yes but" almost everything he's provided, free of charge. Despite the fact that he's fortunate enough to have found SS, before Rich Cooper or the like took him for a few grand

Trying to have a rational conversation with someone like OP is less gainful than trying to persuade True Believers in The Abrahamic Faiths that Jesus didn't rise from the dead, and that God didn't actually converse with Abraham or Muhammad

 

[SW15]

That's not a bad idea...I'm friends a couple guys that regularly go at the same time, very surface-level though.

There might be a roommate there.

My brother has a good deal in NY, despite it being the most expensive place to live, but his unemployment ran out since he was let go so I wasn't sure if he would be open to looking at other options.

It stinks that he is unemployed. The job market has been difficult for the last 12-18 months. New York City is not a good place to be unemployed. He could return to Wilmington, Delaware. You two could be roommates in Wilmington. Wilmington is less expensive than Philadelphia or New York.

Many younger adults (20s-30s) who are childless and find themselves unemployed often become financially dependent upon a parent or parents. Your brother might end up living at home soon too.

 

[BPH]

It stinks that he is unemployed. The job market has been difficult for the last 12-18 months. New York City is not a good place to be unemployed. He could return to Wilmington, Delaware. You two could be roommates in Wilmington. Wilmington is less expensive than Philadelphia or New York.

He got scammed and lost a lot of money through a fake job listing too - apparently there are a lot of ghost listings, fake listings, and other BS to deal with right now.

My logic is that he doesn't have a reason to live up there anymore, and the only real reason he hasn't moved is because he has a great deal on his current apartment - even though everything ELSE costs objectively more.

 

[BPH]

Little update:

Took a preliminary look at the place where I used to live off-campus in college - it was a 4 BR that cost about $700/mo per person that covered everything except water/electric.

The CHEAPEST option is $930/mo per person for an unfurnished 4BR with a total floor space of 1,548 sq ft.

A 2BR, in case my brother or a roommate came into the picture, would be $1,290/mo per person for unfurnished with 1,012 sq ft.

And if I decided that this was super expensive per person, why don't I just get a 1BR for myself? The cheapest option is $1,680 for unfurnished with 737 sq ft. Over the course of a year, this would be a little more than half of what I currently make annually.

Don't get me wrong, these apartments are nice enough, but they're nothing special - located a bit out of the way, further from a decent gym, further from my workplace, etc.

My brother is living in a 4BR in New York and got a good deal; he's paying $875. My buddy and his girlfriend moved in together in Philadelphia; they're paying $900 each. And my parents overheard the phone call where I was finding this all out and told me their mortgage was $1,250.

So I was really surprised that every option for this apartment is more expensive - in Delaware of all places...

All this to say I'll have to keep looking. A further move might be easier, but I'd have to replace my job's income first.