How would you deal with this?

[AM349]

Hi guys,

I have this plate that i have been seeing for the past weeks and the sex is great and she overall is just a nice person to be with.

But after every date she always “creates” a problem that she is not the only girl i talk to. Or that i am just using her for the sex.

How would you girls handle this?

For example she says **** out of the blue like:
- “i don’t see this going anywhere because you want to talk to other woman, i want you to only talk to me”
- “you only want too **** me, i am not looking for that”

How would you respond?

Just make a joke about it, or give her some validation?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

For example she says **** out of the blue like:
- “i don’t see this going anywhere because you want to talk to other woman, i want you to only talk to me”
- “you only want too **** me, i am not looking for that”

I would reply like usual: "I told you from the start we're not exclusive. If you cannot handle sharing me, perhaps you should leave."

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Do you take her out anywhere OP? Or do you see her only behind closed doors?

 

[Serenity]

Have you made it clear at any point that you're not looking for anything serious or do you just keep dodging it to continue to lead her on?

I would respond with roughly what I want, if that's something casual then I'd just say so, even if that means she'll walk away.

If I'm actually open for something more, but not quite there yet, then I might keep deflecting until I've made up my mind about it.

 

[AM349]

I would reply like usual: "I told you from the start we're not exclusive. If you cannot handle sharing me, perhaps you should leave."

Thanks for your answer. Ik ben ook nederlands btw. The thing is, i don’t mind ending up with her.

She has the qualities i am looking for in a LTR. But i don’t want to show her to early to much interest and f up.

 

[AM349]

Do you take her out anywhere OP? Or do you see her only behind closed doors?

Yes i take her out to proper places. She is a fun person to just hang out with, not just a hole i want to fill hahaha

 

[AM349]

Have you made it clear at any point that you're not looking for anything serious or do you just keep dodging it to continue to lead her on?

I would respond with roughly what I want, if that's something casual then I'd just say so, even if that means she'll walk away.

If I'm actually open for something more, but not quite there yet, then I might keep deflecting until I've made up my mind about it.

Thanks for the reply. I am open for more with her. She has qualities i am looking for in a LTR.

That is why i asked for advice because i would useally just tell her to f off and let me do my thing, but i am actually willing to let the other plates down if she keeps behaving.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The thing is, i don’t mind ending up with her.

Meaning, you're willing to settle for her. Personally, when a woman says she wants me to only talk to her, she's out.

 

[AM349]

Meaning, you're willing to settle for her. Personally, when a woman says she wants me to only talk to her, she's out.

I would be fine to settle with a woman that has the qualities i am looking for.

How would you handle the situation if a woman that you would want to settle with is acting in this way?

 

[Clockwerk50]

It don’t see it as a problem, more like a **** test.

If it is a plate it will eventually break.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I would be fine to settle with a woman that has the qualities i am looking for.

How would you handle the situation if a woman that you would want to settle with is acting in this way?

I would ask myself if insecurity is something I'd be willing to deal with on an ongoing basis, because this girl is insecure if you've been exhibiting that you're open to an LTR, which you have been doing with your behavior (taking her out, enjoying the non-sexual time, etc). Reason being is this girl is insecure and it usually doesn't change until she does whatever healing work she needs to do on herself.

One thing you can do is say you're interested in an LTR, but she needs to self-reflect on how to stop her insecure behavior. If it's from past bad relationships that's one thing but if she sees you as being borderline "out of her league", it's not going to change.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

How would you handle the situation if a woman that you would want to settle with is acting in this way?

I never 'settled' for a woman, so I wouldn't get into a relationship witha woman acting this way.

 

[pipeman84]

The actions and the words of this woman are incongruent. She acts like a low value woman (has sex very soon and without being in a confirmed committed relationship) but she talks as if she was a high value lady.

- “i don’t see this going anywhere because you want to talk to other woman, i want you to only talk to me”
- “you only want too **** me, i am not looking for that”

At this stage, this kind of talk from her is BS. That should've been said in the first or second date before you two even kissed.
Bottom line: always judge the person by the actions, not the words.

 

[AM349]

The actions and the words of this woman are incongruent. She acts like a low value woman (has sex very soon and without being in a confirmed committed relationship) but she talks as if she was a high value lady.

At this stage, this kind of talk from her is BS. That should've been said in the first or second date before you two even kissed.
Bottom line: always judge the person by the actions, not the words.

I see where you are coming from, but how would you handle this? What would be a appropriate response to this behaviour?

 

[pipeman84]

I see where you are coming from, but how would you handle this? What would be a appropriate response to this behaviour?

I would certainly not consider her for LTR. I don't think it matters that much how you respond, since she's just a plate she's short-term use anyway.

 

[Murk]

This is where your skill level comes in, how long can you string her along getting sex without the commitment, bonus points for minimal dates outside and money spent. I became a master, or a monster, it's a selfish game and you need to play to win or get stuck in a relationship or kids if you can't play it right.

When you remove all feeling and tell them exactly how it is, you think that will go against you, it actually just makes things easier, which is a sad indictment of the mental state of the current females in the dating pool.

There are a few experienced posters here that think that is how you should behave, I think the way experienced DJ's can manipulate women is a character flaw, which I myself am guilty of possessing. It's selfish and self serving, but nice guys finish last. I'm trying to be more mindful of how I make others feels, how I'd want my daughter to feel meeting men. When you have no pvssy it's all about pvssy, then it's about new pvssy, then thrill of the chase and racking up numbers, then it's because you can and you're bored... but it's all at the detriment to your own being (imho).