How was your relationship with your parents?

[SamTheHobit]

I'm suspecting parental issues is why the majority of people are here.

The question is were your parents divorced married etc?

Next

How was your relationship with your parents?
Did they ever give you praise or encourage good behaviour. Did they put you down? Where you left to your own..

Just curious if my theory is correct.

 

[goundra]

think you'll get truthful, insightful answers? I don't. Plus people's tempements and condidtion of upbringing vary, man. Some get other mentor-empathy types, early on. It's fairly well established that the parental relationship can easily mean little or nothing. It depends on a variety of factors.

 

[SamTheHobit]

I'm trying to establish the Common factor that led to people coming to this site.. I'm sure we'll get some honest answers Considering this is an anonymous forum.

I believe parental relationships is the foundation of your character.

 

[Swampcamel]

Yep. I look back and see my AFC-ness as a result of a lack of a strong male role model.

Yes, parents divorced. Yes, mother got bored with his AFC-ness and cheated on him then left him when he fell apart trying to "save" the relationship. Yes, he got so wrapped into his self-pitying nature that I had to take care of myself for the rest of my teenage experience. Yes, my father didn't teach me any basic skills and had little interest in my self-improvement. Fortunately, boy scouts gave me the basics.

There, keep the honesty ball rolling.

As an after thought in parental condemnation, these factors were a viable excuse for a chumpy teenager. But, we're adults now. We have insight, abstract thought and introspection at our disposable, as well as (and most importantly) the ability to change ourselves and our circumstances. So, there's no excuse anymore. How you got here, there's a reason, but why you're still here, only yourself.

 

[Packers2010]

i live with my folks who a feuding like north and south Korea at war time!

so no. my relationship is not good with them and they split when i was 14. i'm now 23. i still have to put up with this ****!

 

[Fatal Jay]

What kind of incest bull$hit is this!!!!!!!! *leaves thread disgusted*

 

[bigneil]

My mom was an all A student, married as a virgin and beautiful. Earned triple figures as a VP in a software company. She is the warmest person I know. My dad was an Athlete and veteran. He was an Alpha male and hard worker. He started an HVAC business and trained me on computers when I was 8. My mom loved him and me to death. They divorced when I was 30 (my dad's choice)9 and she remarried a self made multimillionaire who loves her. My dad retired to South America. I talk to them every day.

Sorry the OP wasn't so fortunate as I was.

 

[sageproduct]

Sh1tty.

#ihavedaddyissues
#andmommyissues

 

[3countriesPlan]

My mom is traditional, a tiger mom for sure but I'm not mad at her for that. She was and still is strict but she cares and has tried her best to be the perfect mom. My dad cares too, was a total player, like when I asked about the pic of him and two mexican girls I found "Ah yes son, 1968 in Mazatlan.. the dolls there were fantastic" at which time conversation ended cause Im not trying to talk too much game with my dad. -- they have always been supportive, tough love types. They divorced but are still friends, really smooth amicable divorce.

 

[switch]

goods parent, happily married with lots of love and stuff, but there was never any connection between me and my family...

never talked with anyone at the house...or school...or anyone fot that matter

i left my parent's house at 16 with a laptop and a backpack, never looked back
i call them once a week, which lasts like 2 minutes tops

 

[Mike32ct]

I'm suspecting parental issues is why the majority of people are here.

The question is were your parents divorced married etc?

Divorced when I was very young.

Next

How was your relationship with your parents?

I was very close with mom and lived with her. I saw dad weekly.

But both were extremely overprotective. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere or do anything. School, work, home; that's it. No hobbies, friends, travel (even out of state), or extra-curricular activities.

Did they ever give you praise or encourage good behaviour.

Only if I did well in school.

Did they put you down?

Dad did regularly.

Mom was supportive, but didnt want me to socialize. She told me I "wasn't meant to date." Dad never gave me any advice about women. He would rather I stay home and avoid them.

Later mom keep telling me this girl at her work was asking about me. Years later, I found out through her best friend and coworker that this "girl" never existed.

My aunt thought I was gay. She cold approached some dude one night and she got his number for me. You can't make this stuff up. :crackup:.

Where you left to your own..

Just curious if my theory is correct.

I was left to figure out the women thing on my own. I just learned it way too late.

 

[BeDJ]

My mom controlled the entire relationship. My dad was never truly happy in the marriage, yet he stuck through it. i give him much credit since he shown me beta behavior won't suffice. However, I didn't realize this until the end of my 4 year relationship. Betas will ALWAYS lose.

I have revealed my lifestyle with my father, but he persists on me finding the right girl and get married. We were drinking at the bar and I gave some red pill material. He was very reluctant to accept, but I know deep down inside he could find some understanding. It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, but he has been everything I wanted in a father, regardless of how much he sacrificed himself. I feel very sorry for him, living a life of forever giving.

On top of that, I am the only one that can pass on out last name, our legacy. Unfortunately, I will not. Just a stab in my eye that everything my father sacrificed himself for will be forgotten.

 

[Trump]

I'm suspecting parental issues is why the majority of people are here.

1) The question is were your parents divorced married etc?

2) How was your relationship with your parents?

3) Did they ever give you praise or encourage good behaviour. Did they put you down? Where you left to your own..

1) married, fought constantly, everyday.

2) OK, parents were all about grades and work, never to focus on girls or being liked growing up. Couldn't study or work because wanted to have a girlfriend so bad.

Now it's vice versa, they want me to focus all on girls and less on work.

3) Mom was very loud and abrasive. No sisters, no cousins, no girlfriends growing up.

Now Im slightly bitter, enjoy hurting girls cause been burned so bad. What can you do.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Cant really explain in detail since its really messy but I can tell no matter what I did I was wrong to my parents, anything with me involved in and outside home I was the one wrong, loved my babysitters more than my mom and actually couldnt understand how kids were sad after weeks of summer camp for not seeing their mothers.

Completely absent father even caught mother cheating on him, my brother got screwed up totally and they dont even talk with each other, what saved me was attending some "bad boys" when I was a kid, at first I was their targets being me a "daddy kid"...altough there was no daddy nor supportive family, later on I got it and they supported me and teached me what my family didnt.

For my family education I was the kid which was disrespected and beated without being able to defend myself, after learning from this guys I went on a rampage on those who pissed me off, girls that I didnt even talk with started to be interested me in even if I considered them inferior humans and had no problem making it clear.

I was so mindfvcked from my family that at some point looking at couples kissing at the park I was wondering what it takes to be loved from someone, if you had to do something or be something.

I was completely not tolerant about my female teachers, middle aged low IQ women with big ego preeching marxism and feminist to 12 yrs old kids, the only chance to get a decent mark with them was either being a girl a non-white or a sissy.
I guess my problems with authority come from that time.

In the last 10 years there is nothing that I didnt get either by treath, lies or manipulation not because I like it but because I think Im too messed up to work correctly and have no other choice than use alternative means.
Even the high marks I got at university were the resulting of me bvllsh1tting my professors.

So yeah op in my case I guess you get satisfaction, Im the case of a once good guy which had no other choice than turn into an *******.

Except for a couple of friends from my childhood I dont have a serious one,mostly acquatances while the girls in my life are picked up and dropped in a month timespan, even the one I bang nothing serious comes out of it.

Anyway I somehow despite being a assh0le Im still a good man, the problem is that the more society is screwed up and the more people will come from situation like mine but not all of them will be able to tell what is right and what is wrong.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Interesting post guys, keep 'em coming.

I wonder if anyone else agrees with me, when I say that true self confidence comes from our parents?

The confidence I'm talking about is that unshakable confidence, that belief that you can do anything you put your mind to or as one could put it "self love", where you rarely doubt yourself.

Sure we can fake confidence and even have confidence but "true self Confidence" I don't think can be tought. It's something that's just ingrained into you from birth that's shaped by your parents. Something like that can't be learnt.

I don't know correct if I'm wrong.

 

[Vidrio]

My parents are married, but they argue literally every single day over stupid sh!t. Dad is AFC, mom no longer respects him. My mom favors my sisters over me and my brother, my dad is always b!tching at me over stupid sh!t so I don't really like him. He never taught me anything about girls, I had to learn from my friends who were getting pvssy. I'm in college so luckily I don't have to see them a lot but I'm trying to move out as soon as possible because during breaks, when you're used to going to sleep in peace and quiet, its hard to go to sleep with two people yelling at each other every night in the next room.

 

[playa99]

I'm on a hiatus from posting at the moment, but i saw this and had to comment!

My Mum passed away young, I was very close to her, she was the strongest and bravest person I knew, she had rheumatoid arthritis severely and had 11 operations due to this. She passed away when I was 11.

I was close to my Dad as a kid, we were a great family.. up until around 13/14 things were great, but he is an AFC, he can't deal with simple relationship issues, never has been able to, just had an amazing woman in my Mum, who could deal with pretty much anything.

I've never had any advice off my Dad, he asks me for advice, always has done, is insecure and controlling. He isn't a bad person, just has a few character defects. Which since ive improved myself... we've clashed, cause i wont be controlled, i am in control of myself.

His Dad is the same... I am not, my Gramps (Mums Dad) is a Don in some ways, since i've changed i've gotten a lot closer to him, he has always done what HE wants to do, had a good job, retired at 55, plenty of money, nice lifestyle. He talks about things i.e. History, geography, trekking, that bore the socks off most people, but they are HIS passions.. and my gran loves them to! so fair play to them

 

[JohnChops]

Interesting post guys, keep 'em coming.

I wonder if anyone else agrees with me, when I say that true self confidence comes from our parents?

The confidence I'm talking about is that unshakable confidence, that belief that you can do anything you put your mind to or as one could put it "self love", where you rarely doubt yourself.

Sure we can fake confidence and even have confidence but "true self Confidence" I don't think can be tought. It's something that's just ingrained into you from birth that's shaped by your parents. Something like that can't be learnt.

I don't know correct if I'm wrong.

I believe that true confidence is taught from our parents. We learn 99% of the things we know now, mechanics wise, from them. If your parents were rugged pioneers who liked the camp you would end most likely be into that sort of thing when you grow up, not all the time though. So if you have a dad who is an alpha male those traits would reflect onto you. If your dad was a quiet AFC type guy then those would also reflect onto you.

Of course anything is changeable, we are all plastic like our minds. We can do whatever we want if we break through barriers and put our minds to it.

To answer your questions:

I had an okay relationship with my dad but was always a momma's boy at heart. That is where I had to switch everything up when it came to women. My parents are married and have been for a very long time. They don't fight or argue at all. My mom encouraged good behavior but my dad fvcking negg'd me 24/7.

I'll say im going to the library to study- Mom: oh good get those good grades hun! Dad: no no no you can't leave to do that bs you have to do this this and this before that... but then I ignore him and just leave lol. Library > anything else

He always thought school came last and women and other things came first. Seriously like he thinks im gay just because I don't bring girls home which was kind of a negative thing my mom fvcking passed onto me -___-. I was always... meh embarrassed of bringing girls home because then they would always want to "talk about it". Like what in gods name is there to talk about? Im a guy shes a girl... you know how this goes. I feel like im not open to my parents at all about girls, dating, relationships, etc unlike some of my friends are. I gotta break that barrier... seriously. I've had girls who ive been seeing for months never even step foot in my house before, always theirs.

 

[backbreaker]

[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif]The question is were your parents divorced married etc?[/FONT]​

my parents got married when i was 3 and got divorced when i was i want to say 8. they got divorced beucase my dad had my little brother with another woman outside the marriage.

with that said, i was still raised by both parents and saw both just about everyday

[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif]How was your relationship with your parents?[/FONT]​

pretty good growing up. I wasn't abused in any way shape or form. My mom got a little too much to deal with when she was preggnant with my little sister when i was 16 and i moved out for a few months but other htan that nothing really growing up

[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Did they ever give you praise or encourage good behaviour.[/FONT]​

yes. i was spoiled rotten for the most part utnil i was old enough to work for myself

[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Did they put you down? [/FONT]​

unnecessarily no. i got chewed out a few times, whipped a few times but every time i deserved it (cheating on tests, talking back, being a teenage male, etc)

[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Where you left to your own..[/FONT]​

honestly yeah when i was a tennager. my mother had a job that made her travela ll the time and i hd my own car. i was pretty self sufficent by the time i was 14-15 i could cook enough to be able to cook dinner beucase mom was never home to cook dinner she was working, had to figure out my own homework, had to figure out y own ****.

but even with that said, the fact that i had a car, had a house to myself for the most part utnil 8-10pm some nights 5 nights a week and was still for the most part a straight arrow, i can count on on e hand the amount of times i had company at my house when my mom was gone like that, i didn't do that she didn't like strangers in her house . i mean i got laid a few times but i wasn't bringing random people over every day or antyhing.

i think that in itself speaks volums to the job y parents did raising me. byt he time i was 15 years old i didnt' need anyone over my back telling me what was right or what was wrong or to do my homework before i went and played ball / chased girls or to get a damn job and go to work, etc.

my issue more than anything was my mother and her overbaring views on men and religion. she hated men like my dad (players) and did everything in her power to show me that's now how men should be and i listened and she was dead wrong. and later in life her telling me to basically go kick rocks once she found out I was an athiest (At the time)

 

[The Duke]

I come from some of the best parents on the planet. They taught me to work hard, get what i want out of life, and how to dust my ass off and get back in the saddle. They taught me to stand my ground and not let others push me around. They taught me to stay rational and work your problems out. They exposed me to a wide array of social circles from rich to poor, weak to powerful. The most important thing they did for me was taught me how to think for myself and make my own choices. I was never sheltered, or coddled. I had all the freedom a kid could want. With all of that came confidence.........I'm pretty much the All-American midwestern farm kid.

For the most part I had to learn about women on my own. My dad wasn't beta, but he could have been a little more alpha with my mom. As a result it effected me and was a factor in what lead to my divorce.

Everyday I see others making stupid decisions and I thank my parents for teaching me differently. I've got a leg up on the majority.