How "victimhood" prevents you from self-improvement

[BackInTheGame78]

Part of why this whole victimhood mentality is so damaging to the ability to self-improve is because it removes responsibility from yourself and puts it on some outside factor that is out of your control. And if you have no control over whether you can change the outcome then why try, right? Just give up. Wallow in pity. Feel sorry for yourself. Play the role of a victim.

"Women won't like me because I'm only 5'4" and they only like guys that are 6' tall or more"

"Women won't like me because I am not rich and they only like guys with money"

There are endless amount of these excuses that follow the pattern:
"Women won't like me because I am not .... because they only like guys ..."

So the first thing is to ask yourself is this true in every case? And almost undoubtedly you will realize it isn't. You probably know a few short guys that kill it with women. You probably know guys who are broke that kill it with women. You probably know guys in every scenario that you make excuses as a reason why you can't succeed with women that kill it with women.

And so the problem isn't your situation, the problem is your mindset and believing this is something that is impossible to overcome. Or maybe it's because someone uses these as excuses to be lazy. Because changing and working on improving is hard work if you are starting from a low point. And so it is easier to play the victim and make it so that it isn't your fault and there is nothing you can do about it.

Nobody is a victim of circumstance that doesn't want to be. You have the power to improve any situation regardless of the challenges you face. What you might not like is the knowledge that yes, you MAY have to work twice as hard as someone else to get to the same place. But guess what. That's life. Life isn't always fair but in almost all cases you get out of it what you put into it.

I think if the people who are doing this really took a hard look they would realize they aren't only doing this with women, this is prevelant in all areas of their life...

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Part of why this whole victimhood mentality is so damaging to the ability to self-improve is because it removes responsibility from yourself and puts it on some outside factor that is out of your control. And if you have no control over whether you can change the outcome then why try, right? Just give up. Wallow in pity. Feel sorry for yourself. Play the role of a victim.

"Women won't like me because I'm only 5'4" and they only like guys that are 6' tall or more"

"Women won't like me because I am not rich and they only like guys with money"

There are endless amount of these excuses that follow the pattern:
"Women won't like me because I am not .... because they only like guys ..."

So the first thing is to ask yourself is this true in every case? And almost undoubtedly you will realize it isn't. You probably know a few short guys that kill it with women. You probably know guys who are broke that kill it with women. You probably know guys in every scenario that you make excuses as a reason why you can't succeed with women that kill it with women.

And so the problem isn't your situation, the problem is your mindset and believing this is something that is impossible to overcome. Or maybe it's because someone uses these as excuses to be lazy. Because changing and working on improving is hard work if you are starting from a low point. And so it is easier to play the victim and make it so that it isn't your fault and there is nothing you can do about it.

Nobody is a victim of circumstance that doesn't want to be. You have the power to improve any situation regardless of the challenges you face. What you might not like is the knowledge that yes, you MAY have to work twice as hard as someone else to get to the same place. But guess what. That's life. Life isn't always fair but in almost all cases you get out of it what you put into it.

I think if the people who are doing this really took a hard look they would realize they aren't only doing this with women, this is prevelant in all areas of their life...

We become men and adults when we take full responsibility for our lives. Every aspect of it.

However, because society is filled with weak men, it is easier to fall into this pattern of victimhood and comfort. Change and growth are supposed to be painful, arduous, slow, etc. Weak men (and people in general) rather avoid all that hard work. This is ironic being that hard work is what makes us men.

But you are 100% right, it comes down to mindset. Mindset is everything. Every aspect of our lives stems from our mindset.

Thanks for sharing!


Modern Man Advice

 

[Lookatu]

Victimhood = Feminist Narrative

Real men overcome, improve, look forward.

Cowards/weak men cry, live in the past, let it defeat and define them.

 

[manfrombelow]

You know who the most dangerous enemies of real men are? Weak men.

Weak men wreck havoc, create chaos, and always play the victims.

 

[FuzzX]

This seems to be a running theme with this generation, it carries over into the work world as well. The number of young people who tell me they're broke and that life is unfair has gotten to be overwhelming. When asked why they don't have a second job, they either shrug or reply with "Well I shouldn't have to work at all!". Where do they get this mentality from?

My wife manages these young people and she says lately, she can't get them to show up consistently. She says they'll skip out on a work shift without calling in or complain and protest that a 4 HOUR SHIFT IS TOO LONG. Then they get pissed, b1tch and whine when they aren't called regularly for work.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

We become men and adults when we take full responsibility for our lives. Every aspect of it.

However, because society is filled with weak men, it is easier to fall into this pattern of victimhood and comfort. Change and growth are supposed to be painful, arduous, slow, etc. Weak men (and people in general) rather avoid all that hard work. This is ironic being that hard work is what makes us men.

But you are 100% right, it comes down to mindset. Mindset is everything. Every aspect of our lives stems from our mindset.

Thanks for sharing!


Modern Man Advice

This is what you can overcome with the right mindset and drive:

19 famous figures who went from rags to riches

Before they became some of the richest people in the world, these famous figures endured hardship and struggles.

www.businessinsider.com

They could have just had the mindset they aren't good enough or they came from poverty so they'd never amount to anything or any of the myriad excuses you hear. They didn't.

Excuses are monuments to nothingness.

 

[StacksHitEmUp]

Victim mentality will block individual progress because you are not analyzing your own mistakes or shortcomings but instead blame it on other things or people. I dislike people like this.

 

[corrector]

In a seduction forum, dealing with attracting women, then this is the black pill. The youtube channel incel-TV has many videos discussing the black-pill and feel there is a body of information that legitimizes the black-pill, as well as this site. I've looked at videos on that channel, other members like @MatureDJ and @Xenom0rph link videos from that site and start threads and some interesting discussions do come out of that.

Therefore, what the OP calls a "victim mentality" is really called black-pill "cope" and I don't think you can dismiss whole body of information as just being lazy. Putting up all that content requires allot of effort.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

In a seduction forum, dealing with attracting women, then this is the black pill. The youtube channel incel-TV has many videos discussing the black-pill and feel there is a body of information that legitimizes the black-pill, as well as this site. I've looked at videos on that channel, other members like @MatureDJ and @Xenom0rph link videos from that site and start threads and some interesting discussions do come out of that.

Therefore, what the OP calls a "victim mentality" is really called black-pill "cope" and I don't think you can dismiss whole body of information as just being lazy. Putting up all that content requires allot of effort.

Of course...based on most of your posts you seem to be one of these people. If those people would spend half the amount of time working on improving themselves they do drudging up content to cry and whine about they wouldn't be in the situations to begin with.

But it is always easier to make excuses than put in the work.

 

[Xenom0rph]

The biggest reason why I decided to abandon the Redpill is because of the bull-headed, ego-driven and delusional belief that a man has absolute control over his life - he doesn't. At best, a man can control only about 30% of his life.

Genetic determinism and environmental factors (economics, parenting, neighborhoods, race) contributes 60% to a man's success in life. We don't live in a vacuum - the actions of others directly affect our life.

But the extremist Redpillers will claim that if a man is struggling in life then:

1) "It's his fault."
2) "He's not working hard enough."
3) "Man up, don't be a chump."
4) "It's not society's fault, it's YOUR fault."

The above examples are Redpill shaming language used to shame men, which is no different than gynocentric shaming language used to manipulate men, which I spoke about in this (now locked) thread HERE......

I decided to abandon Redpill because I began to see that there were too many parallels with gynocentric feminism, in particular, its goal of trying to manipulate men through shaming tactics.....

While I agree that it's not entirely society's fault, it's also not entirely the man's fault either.

Ironically, Blackpillers, whom are labelled as extremists, tend to have more empathy towards struggling men than the Redpillers who would try to kick them when they're down by saying sh1t like "it's YOUR fault, take OWNERSHIP"...... Not everything is the man's fault.

It is simply unhealthy and unhelpful to constantly place the blame on the men, some guys can make all the right moves and still come up short in life.

There's always a fine balance that should be observed, while we shouldn't enable laziness by always excusing a man from ownership, neither should we be unfair in always placing the blame on him.

Inceltv said a quote that truly resonated with me:
"If Kobe Bryant was born in the slums of Baltimore he would have ended up just like...."

I timestamped the exact spot where he presents his arguments.

 

[Mike32ct]

You can improve in any area that you have control over, eg work, hobbies, etc.

You don’t control women. Improving in other areas MIGHT indirectly help in the women department, but there is no direct control there.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The biggest reason why I decided to abandon the Redpill is because of the bull-headed, ego-driven and delusional belief that a man has absolute control over his life - he doesn't. At best, a man can control only about 30% of his life.

Genetic determinism and environmental factors (economics, parenting, neighborhoods, race) contributes 60% to a man's success in life. We don't live in a vacuum - the actions of others directly affect our life.

But the extremist Redpillers will claim that if a man is struggling in life then:

1) "It's his fault."
2) "He's not working hard enough."
3) "Man up, don't be a chump."
4) "It's not society's fault, it's YOUR fault."

The above examples are Redpill shaming language used to shame men, which is no different than gynocentric shaming language used to manipulate men, which I spoke about in this (now locked) thread HERE......

I decided to abandon Redpill because I began to see that there were too many parallels with gynocentric feminism, in particular, its goal of trying to manipulate men through shaming tactics.....

While I agree that it's not entirely society's fault, it's also not entirely the man's fault either.

Ironically, Blackpillers, whom are labelled as extremists, tend to have more empathy towards struggling men than the Redpillers who would try to kick them when they're down by saying sh1t like "it's YOUR fault, take OWNERSHIP"...... Not everything is the man's fault.

It is simply unhealthy and unhelpful to constantly place the blame on the men, some guys can make all the right moves and still come up short in life.

There's always a fine balance that should be observed, while we shouldn't enable laziness by always excusing a man from ownership, neither should we be unfair in always placing the blame on him.

Inceltv said a quote that truly resonated with me:
"If Kobe Bryant was born in the slums of Baltimore he would have ended up just like...."

I timestamped the exact spot where he presents his arguments.

Guess all those immigrants who came to this country with nothing and became millionaires might beg to differ.

We simply have different belief systems. That's OK.

Yours is one of self-limitation and mine isn't.

 

[lost_blackbird]

This seems to be a running theme with this generation, it carries over into the work world as well. The number of young people who tell me they're broke and that life is unfair has gotten to be overwhelming. When asked why they don't have a second job, they either shrug or reply with "Well I shouldn't have to work at all!". Where do they get this mentality from?

My wife manages these young people and she says lately, she can't get them to show up consistently. She says they'll skip out on a work shift without calling in or complain and protest that a 4 HOUR SHIFT IS TOO LONG. Then they get pissed, b1tch and whine when they aren't called regularly for work.

I work at an Amazon Sortation hub. None of that sh1t flies there. Comply or bye. Real talk. Regardless of age.

 

[corrector]

Guess all those immigrants who came to this country with nothing and became millionaires might beg to differ.

There were no incels or blackpills among the immigrants so they were better off. You get this problem because society has evolved in such a way to leave allot of men out of the equation with hypergamy, social media, etc....

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There were no incels or blackpills among the immigrants so they were better off. You get this problem because society has evolved in such a way to leave allot of men out of the equation with hypergamy, social media, etc....

Those men choose to leave them self out.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Guess all those immigrants who came to this country with nothing and became millionaires might beg to differ.

We simply have different belief systems. That's OK.

Yours is one of self-limitation and mine isn't.

Who came here with nothing? Most of the immigrants I know come here with more privileges than 99% of Americans born in this country. An immigrant can come here with no credit and get financing for a business, mortgage, and transportation while an American with no credit will not get those privileges.

 

[Xenom0rph]

Guess all those immigrants who came to this country with nothing and became millionaires might beg to differ.

We simply have different belief systems. That's OK.

Yours is one of self-limitation and mine isn't.

The two most successful demographics of immigrants are Asians and Indians. These men are capable of controlling their finances.

And yet these two demographics of men are having the worst trouble in the dating market because their phenotype isn't desirable - JBW Theory strikes again.

As I mentioned already, a man can only control about 30% of his life. These Asian and Indian immigrants have control over their finances, but they have almost zero control over their dating prospects due to their phenotype (JBW theory and the Racepill).....

They succeed in one area of their life, but struggle in another. There's very little that a short, balding, small framed Asian or Indian can do to improve his dating prospects in the West.

This is usually where the bull-headed Redpillers will come in and shame these men instead of offering them some empathy.....

 

[manfrombelow]

Guess all those immigrants who came to this country with nothing and became millionaires might beg to differ.

How many immigrants came to this country (USA assummingly) with nothing and became millionaires?

It's a right thing to not let the things you can't control make you suffer, but mental wanking & clinging onto unrealistic belief is another thing.

 

[FuzzX]

The two most successful demographics of immigrants are Asians and Indians. These men are capable of controlling their finances.

And yet these two demographics of men are having the worst trouble in the dating market because their phenotype isn't desirable - JBW Theory strikes again.

As I mentioned already, a man can only control about 30% of his life. These Asian and Indian immigrants have control over their finances, but they have almost zero control over their dating prospects due to their phenotype (JBW theory and the Racepill).....

They succeed in one area of their life, but struggle in another. There's very little that a short, balding, small framed Asian or Indian can do to improve his dating prospects in the West.

This is usually where the bull-headed Redpillers will come in and shame these men instead of offering them some empathy.....

Here comes the shame: How many American men who are short, unsuccessful, balding, small/big framed, no game can pickup women at home in America? The answer is NONE. The same guy goes to Asia and guess what? He still picks up NONE.

Now you're gonna say No, No, I know plenty of white losers that go get women. No sir, you do not. Your metric is absolutely wrong. I have now witnessed the bottom of the barrel loser here, not get ANY women... and in fact go on to creep out most dudes and women with his behavior. I set him up with WILLING WOMEN, who wanted to marry almost ANYBODY, where he only needed to SHOW UP and he still failed so completely, that they blocked, deleted and sent me angry messages saying they never want to speak to him again.

Just because all Asians look alike doesn't mean they are. Some are probably fvcking clueless losers like my friend. Clueless losers will not pick up women no matter what. Women will always sense that there is something 'not quite right' about that guy.

Contrast that with a blue collar dude I know here who is pushing 350+ lbs (fat) and who knows how to talk to girls, and gets girls ALOT. I also know a Cambodian dude who picked up one of the hottest blonde girls I knew in my social circle and she became a quasi Asian fan girl because of it. So no, not just anyone can come in and pick up girls and because all these Asian losers are getting together and figuring out that something is wrong in the west doesn't mean ALL Asian guys suffer the same fate everywhere. There are problems in the West but it isn't localized to losers, all men are feeling it.

Alot of Chinese men are going to Africa to meet women and guess what, the semi successful ones are picking them up. I would postulate that maybe African women are 'culturally' friendlier overall, the ones I have met here, the Eritreans, were absolutely down with getting some from a white guy, just not a creepy white guy. I don't doubt that the same is true for other races. So this racepill bullsh1t man is just another 'victim hood pill'. I travelled to the otherside of the world to meet my wife, had a bunch of dates that didn't work out and dated outside my race all the time. You know what? Turns out girls from other more conservative cultures are easier to talk to, don't have as many hangups and aren't raunchy as hell. These Asian guys who like to work HARD and build society are about as desirable in the West as white guys who do the same: Not at all. White women in the West want thugs, losers and alcoholics. Game is just the emulation of those characteristics without being that sort of man. If you travel abroad and show that you're a hard working dude who has a nice disposition, you're probably going to have an easier time meeting a mate. If you're a complete fvckin creep, you're still not going to get women but at least they'll give you a chance.

If the racepill exists, tell me why there are 1 billion Asian/Asian couples and only a few White/Asian? I can tell you. Its because incel losers only see race when they try and figure out why they are losers. They don't see their own race matching up with the other billion women, they see ONE white or black guy getting 'their women' and react accordingly. I had a white friend here who HATES blacks... calls them all manner of names. Do you know why? "BLACKS ARE TAKING OUR WHITE WOMEN!". Nevermind that our white women are culturally deficient or that white women by and large pair up with white men. The one black dude who was dating a white chick? He's the problem... and apparently I'm a dirty jew for pointing this out [I'm not].

Then I go to Asia and I see the exact same sh1t. "FVCKING FOREIGNERS TAKING OUR CHINESE WOMEN!" and I think to myself, lol, this must be in every culture. Racism is an easy out when you are an unsuccessful dude in your own culture and you don't want to admit your own short comings. The entire RooshV forums have become some version of Stormfront with super unsuccessful white supremacist incel losers. I was just banned again recently for pointing this out, despite Roosh being a BROWN guy. My wife wasn't a gaijin hunter, she had no interest in white guys when I met her, that didn't stop me though. In the end, lol, I guess I hounded her enough where she finally gave in.

My 'friend' that hates blacks, he's still single some 10 years later. My creepy ass 'friend' who repulses women and only wants to date whites? He's using 900 numbers to 'meet women'. Most of their friends are in the same boat... white dudes who by their own self limiting beliefs cannot pull women. Oh, one more guy I know about, dude looks like Schwarzenegger and is also a 'whites only' dude, has never had a gf, not once. Great looking guy, Chad in every respect. All blame external factors.

Suffice to say bro, any man can get a woman if he isn't a total creepy fvcking loser. I'm tired of helping losers in the west only to get shat upon... incels are guys who will ALWAYS blame external factors. They are vain to the extreme and cannot acknowledge that their base form does not attract girls. They are the most ANTI- self improvement people I've ever met. They don't want to travel, they want to stay right where they are, doing exactly what they're doing and have a woman handed to them. If not, they want fantasy robot women, some sick manifestation of their ego.

 

[MatureDJ]

Stu here is 5'0", and even if he is presented as being a success in just about every non-sexual aspect of life, women are repulsed by him, only preferring him to other man if they are all "murderers or child m0lesters":

Here is a man at the opposite end of the success spectrum, and he's a totally loser:

Jeremy 'Dreamy McMug' Meeks -- A REALLY Bad Dude

Jeremy Meeks -- aka Dreamy McMug Shot -- is a BAD GUY ... that's certainly what his rap sheet shows.

www.tmz.com

Jeremy Meeks Sued for Wrecking 2 Rental Cars in One Week

Jeremy Meeks will be back in court soon, along with the same guy who was busted with him when he became hot mug shot guy.

www.tmz.com

Keep up with your "you can overcome any obstacle to get what you want in life" as you pursue self-improvement that gets you a sausage fest at the gym ...



or makes you a simp by CareerMaxxing: