How viable is an active dating life without using apps

[Snag87]

I'm interested in consensus opinion as to how viable it is for men to have successful dating lives without using predatory dating apps. I'm 35 years old and have been banned from virtually every mainstream app. Prior to the ban I'd been relatively successful on apps, multiple hookups and relationships with women over a decade younger than me. I have no interest in attempting to circumvent the bans, and even if I did, the app prices have become increasingly ridiculous over the past few years.

I have essentially no social circle and don't drink alchohol. I don't encounter young women organically in my daily routine. Is my only option "daygame" i.e wandering around my city looking for young women? Even if I took that route, how successful could I expect to be?


Are there any men here (particularly over 30) who are successful having multiple short-term relationships with young women without using apps? If so, what were your methods?

 

[Robert28]

The problem with apps is, is your dating life really active with them? I mean who wants to go on a bunch of dates that never go anywhere, or worse who wants to message a bunch of girls and never get to go out with them. Seems tiring to me.

 

[Stanley]

Why are you banned from "every mainstream app"? weird

 

[SW15]

I have no interest in attempting to circumvent the bans, and even if I did, the app prices have become increasingly ridiculous over the past few years.

The app environment stinks. You did better than most men on them. A lot of men continue to report worse and worse experiences on the apps.

How's your Instagram profile? Do you have more followers than people you follow? You could do Instagram DM game. I wouldn't recommend it though.

I'm 35 years old...I have essentially no social circle and don't drink alchohol. I don't encounter young women organically in my daily routine. Is my only option "daygame" i.e wandering around my city looking for young women? Even if I took that route, how successful could I expect to be?

Are there any men here (particularly over 30) who are successful having multiple short-term relationships with young women without using apps? If so, what were your methods?

Your biggest challenge is going to be not drinking alcohol. Doing approaches at nightlife venues is centered around alcohol. Doing approaches in non-bar venues would allow you to set up dates without alcohol, but a lot of the dates you could set up by using daygame could be at bars. It is very challenging to do early stage dating without any alcohol. However, you have set up dates without alcohol already, so it seems like you know how to do that.

Doing approaches in non-bar venues is a tough effort. A lot of women that you would encounter outdoors, in gyms/fitness classes, and in retail venues aren't open to being approached. I've had days where I've been outdoors for 2 hours on a weekend and had 2 or less approaches that didn't amount to anything. There's a reason why a lot of men don't do daygame. It's difficult to approach women randomly in the real world and get results. You'll get ignored a lot, or have short, 30-60 second conversations that go nowhere. You'll even get a decent amount of rejections when you ask for a date/phone number.

The problem with apps is, is your dating life really active with them? I mean who wants to go on a bunch of dates that never go anywhere, or worse who wants to message a bunch of girls and never get to go out with them. Seems tiring to me.

A lot of men have the "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions from swipe apps. Those are bad. There are times where the man doesn't like the woman and doesn't offer a 2nd date, but there are other times where the man offers a 2nd date and gets ghosted. The "one date, no sex, no second date" outcome is the most common outcome from swipe apps when an in-person interaction happens.

You're also correct that a lot of in-app messaging on the swipe apps and via text messaging doesn't result in an actual date too.

Apps are a waste of time for men outside the Top 10-20%.

 

[Snag87]

The problem with apps is, is your dating life really active with them? I mean who wants to go on a bunch of dates that never go anywhere, or worse who wants to message a bunch of girls and never get to go out with them. Seems tiring to me.

Well, I have two 24 year olds who want to be in a relationship with me that I met off apps. I won't deny there's truth to what you said. My last foray on Hinge I had roughly 1,000 matches. Out of those 1k I met 5 girls. Had sex with 2 multiple times and they're interested in a relationship. I received oral sex from 1 then she ended things. The 4th unmatched after our date. Have a 2nd date with the 5th girl next week.

I set up numerous dates with women only to have them cancel.

Those are my results after 5 and a half months on the app paying $37.50 a month including taxes with a premium subscription.

 

[Snag87]

Why are you banned from "every mainstream app"? weird

Well, actually that's not true. Banned from Tinder and Hinge. Never been banned from Bumble, OKC or PoF, just wouldn't use them as I've found them completely useless.

 

[Stanley]

Well, actually that's not true. Banned from Tinder and Hinge. Never been banned from Bumble, OKC or PoF, just wouldn't use them as I've found them completely useless.

Ya didn't answer the question

 

[Snag87]

Ya didn't answer the question

Why am I banned from Tinder and Hinge? Who knows? It's ridiculously easy to get banned. Not to mention if you're banned on one Match owned app you're blanket banned on them all.

 

[Snag87]

The app environment stinks. You did better than most men on them. A lot of men continue to report worse and worse experiences on the apps.

How's your Instagram profile? Do you have more followers than people you follow? You could do Instagram DM game. I wouldn't recommend it though.



Your biggest challenge is going to be not drinking alcohol. Doing approaches at nightlife venues is centered around alcohol. Doing approaches in non-bar venues would allow you to set up dates without alcohol, but a lot of the dates you could set up by using daygame could be at bars. It is very challenging to do early stage dating without any alcohol. However, you have set up dates without alcohol already, so it seems like you know how to do that.

Doing approaches in non-bar venues is a tough effort. A lot of women that you would encounter outdoors, in gyms/fitness classes, and in retail venues aren't open to being approached. I've had days where I've been outdoors for 2 hours on a weekend and had 2 or less approaches that didn't amount to anything. There's a reason why a lot of men don't do daygame. It's difficult to approach women randomly in the real world and get results. You'll get ignored a lot, or have short, 30-60 second conversations that go nowhere. You'll even get a decent amount of rejections when you ask for a date/phone number.



A lot of men have the "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions from swipe apps. Those are bad. There are times where the man doesn't like the woman and doesn't offer a 2nd date, but there are other times where the man offers a 2nd date and gets ghosted. The "one date, no sex, no second date" outcome is the most common outcome from swipe apps when an in-person interaction happens.

You're also correct that a lot of in-app messaging on the swipe apps and via text messaging doesn't result in an actual date too.

Apps are a waste of time for men outside the Top 10-20%.

I'm top 90% for men my age from a physical attractiveness standpoint. I know how hard daygame is. Brutal and time consuming. I could use the apps while working which was perfect.

 

[SargeMaximus]

If not for dating apps, I’d still be a virgin. With dating apps, I’ve slept with more women than I can recall

 

[corrector]

You must have pissed off some women to get banned. What did you do? Did not call the next day? Now poor chad has to do daygame approaches and is already crying about it. Cry me a river.

 

[corrector]

If not for dating apps, I’d still be a virgin. With dating apps, I’ve slept with more women than I can recall

Imagine if there is a solar storm and the internet is down. You would be an incel? The gen Z chads really get spoiled by relying on their looks too much that its too hard to put in an effort with cold approaching. Even normies like @SW15 had to rough it put with cold approach and suffer lots of rejections. On this rare occasion I have to say kudos tonhim. But the pain is too much for the spoiled gen Z chad lot. Wow.

 

[Luni]

Nothing better than night game. God forbid you have a few drinks. As long as you don't get too distracted shooting the **** with the boys all night. The world is yours when you're having genuine fun, the chicas practically fall on your lap. They will literally buzz around you like moths to the light.

There's a misconception that you'll only meet sluts at the bar. Anyone with experience will tell you that they are a minority. Most women are regular bored females. But I digress. For the right guy, any girl will be a slut.. Especially with alcohol involved.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Use apps for profit. Store numbers and make contact to get her in person. Isolate and make a move. Thats all.

 

[eli77]

I'm interested in consensus opinion as to how viable it is for men to have successful dating lives without using predatory dating apps. I'm 35 years old and have been banned from virtually every mainstream app. Prior to the ban I'd been relatively successful on apps, multiple hookups and relationships with women over a decade younger than me. I have no interest in attempting to circumvent the bans, and even if I did, the app prices have become increasingly ridiculous over the past few years.

I have essentially no social circle and don't drink alchohol. I don't encounter young women organically in my daily routine. Is my only option "daygame" i.e wandering around my city looking for young women? Even if I took that route, how successful could I expect to be?


Are there any men here (particularly over 30) who are successful having multiple short-term relationships with young women without using apps? If so, what were your methods?

You sound like me but the reason you stumbled upon this forum is because you were having trouble with women like a lot of us and your here to better yourself take a good look at yourself in the mirror workout use skin treatments and dress accordingly

 

[Murk]

Never day game but I have success night gaming women wherever I meet them. I met this girl last week outside a club chat to her and took the digits;


I flaked on her for Thursday as the Ukrainian girl was coming over Friday and I think I’m too old for 2 days in a row while focusing on work too. I don’t like drinking so much these days. She seems keen, I’ll get her soon though. I suggest night game over day game for cold approach.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well, I have two 24 year olds who want to be in a relationship with me that I met off apps. I won't deny there's truth to what you said. My last foray on Hinge I had roughly 1,000 matches. Out of those 1k I met 5 girls. Had sex with 2 multiple times and they're interested in a relationship. I received oral sex from 1 then she ended things. The 4th unmatched after our date. Have a 2nd date with the 5th girl next week.

I set up numerous dates with women only to have them cancel.

Those are my results after 5 and a half months on the app paying $37.50 a month including taxes with a premium subscription.

Why would you pay? Completely unnecessary and pointless

 

[Bingo-Player]

I find the apps pretty useless there is only so many conversation structures two strangers can have....nobody is really interested in small talk , yet you go to direct and they don't like that either

It seems like a bit of a running joke ...... women complain all their matches don't lead to anything , yet i bet good money plenty of guys are asking them on dates and they either go ghost or make up some vague excuse to flake

I know guys that will literally spend hours trying to build up enough rapport to get her comfortable for a date and then the store could be sold out of her favourite shampoo and she will stop replying.....just because

Personally i think IRL approach is far more rewarding

Its cut throat but at least you get a better idea of her intrest plus its a great confidence boost and adrenaline rush

 

[DonJuanjr]

nobody is really interested in small talk , yet you go to direct and they don't like that either

Truth! Small talk gets you ghosted, and direct activates righteous indignation and gets you ghosted and or reported.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Truth! Small talk gets you ghosted, and direct activates righteous indignation and gets you ghosted and or reported.

It is one of the weirdest environments i have ever experienced......

I think there is probably a market for a higher value dating app now

I.E subscribers would be required to pass several tests to even get access to the dating pool , strict penalties imposed for not replying within 48 hours , penalties for not turning up to dates etc etc

Basically you take it seriously or you do one

There would be absolute uproar to begin with as women would lose their tactical advantage and free attention flow, actually have to engage with matches and heaven forbid actually go on a real life date

Eventually it would filter out a lot of the time wasting and other nonsense that is currently rife on these apps