How to use match.com

[GBMan]

Single most problem you can probably have is obsessing over someone. If they deny you, it hurts even worse.

This is why you can surf on over to match.com and be on your way to being happy.

Some ground rules:
- Any girl on there receives hundreds of emails a day.
- There are not the greatest of people on the site, of both genders.

That being said, here's how to approach it:

1) Create a profile. Keep it fairly simple, with a witty description. Make sure to include a picture. People have said that girls don't go searching for your profile.. and that's true. BUT, if you write to them, they will look at your profile before they respond back to you. They're curious, and they want to assure themselves that you at least spent the time to come up with a nice profile.

2) Girls that e-mail you are like ones that walk up to you and give you their number. Yikes.

3) Your first e-mail has to be witty, short, and sweet. Most guys talk like jerks, or act all macho, aerogant etc. Make sure to include some personalized info related to her profile. Try to logon twice a week (Sunday and Wednesday) and e-mail about 20-30 girls each time. Keep a list, e-mailing the same girl twice reads moron/psycho. You don't want to get hung up on one girl, so KEEP THE LIST BIG! You want soulmate.

4) Despite the fact that you don't want to reply to her response immediately (like calling the next day after a date)... you probably should. Why do you ask? Because she will forget you if you wait a week. Say something like, traditional society suggests I wait a while before replying, but I'm not in the mood for games...

5) Talking on the phone and instant messaging is okay. I would recommend a little instant messaging before the phone. I've read on here that you don't want to be her "online buddy." This is sorta true.. don't harass her online, IM'ing "hey what's up" all the time. Rather, see what times she is usually available and say what's up then.

6) Meet in a public place on your first date, lunches are good. If you bring a rose, hide it in your car or whatever until the end of the date. If it was truely a match made in heaven, you can give it to her at the end.

Why use match.com? Because trying to work on skills in real life is painful. We all know this. While you're busy working on those humor skills, eye contact and what not... you can be doing that at the mall, flirting with cashiers, while you then go home and try to find women who are actually interested.

 

[g f l a s h 4 0 0 1]

Nice ad.

 

[BGMan]

Originally posted by GBMan
Say something like, traditional society suggests I wait a while before replying, but I'm not in the mood for games...

If you bring a rose, hide it in your car or whatever until the end of the date. If it was truely a match made in heaven, you can give it to her at the end.

Why use match.com? Because trying to work on skills in real life is painful. We all know this.

Overall, pretty good ideas. However, I'd not call attention to the fact that I'm replying to her reply right away; I'd probably wait two or three days (rather than over a week) and e-mail her back with her reply at the bottom quoted to help her remember.

Also, no roses on the first date.

Now, all I need is to find a free matchmaking service that doesn't require a fvckin' credit card (unlike match.com)...

BGMan

 

[OddTech]

For the big online match makers, they have the benefits of a larger pool of people. For them, it is probably more efficient to use credit cards.

Good post, BGman.

 

[mahon83050]

I think Match.com stinks, try lavalife it is much better and cheaper.

 

[DJinArizona]

Good post. I've had some really good success with match.com. The only things I differ on are how soon you email - I say at least 2 or 3 days between emails. One girl I'm dating now actually said that not writing back every day kept her interest up and made her wonder if I was going to write back (read: Challenge!). I also think talking on the phone or instant messaging is a bad idea. After 4 or 5 emails I get the number and then from there on, treat it like a "real-life" meeting. Wait a few days to call, set up the first date and that's it. Five minutes max. Once I have the phone #, the fact that we met online is irrelevant and the system takes over. Lunch or happy hour is best for meeting. Dinner or a full-blown "date" is bad since you might not like her in person and need a quick way out.

One of the advantages of match.com I think is that the competition is of far less quality, and ironically, I've met some surprisingly hot women on there (busy professionals who don't go out to clubs much, etc.) Most of the girls I've talked to said the other men were the most pathetic AFCs on the face of the earth.

Yahoo personals is a good site too, worth checking out even though it's just as expensive and doesn't have as many people on it.

 

[studmuffin15]

also, NEVER e-mail on a friday or saturday night! if the chick happens to check when the message was sent, it will make u look like a no-life loser!!

instead, try emailing her during the week, on maybe a wednesday or something. it makes it look like ur weekends are too busy to sit around at home on a friday or saturday night, scoping strangers' personals!

also...make sure u dont send it at an odd time, 3AM, etc. again, this will make u look STRANGE. there are plenty of crazy stories about nuts on the internet and stuff like that, u dont want to make this ur first impression!

 

[Bud Wiser]

Okay, only because I like you guys, I'm going to throw in a couple more tips for anyone taking the plunge on Match.

I've enjoyed good success on Match and consider it well worth the money. I've tried other online services and Match is by far the best for men or women over 30. I say that because the under-30 member population on Match seems to be dwarfed by the over-30 crowd. By the way, Match is the largest online personals service by far. One reason is Match's unique ability to age match its members.

As with any online service, make sure you post a photo. It's a fact that profiles with photos get eight times the responses over non-photo pages.

(And no -- I don't work for Match! So put aside any conspiracy theories and listen up!)

Your narrative is critical. The previous comment about the majority of the men on Match being AFCs sounds right to me. For further proof, read the male profiles. I'm not sure how many male narratives you can slog through before heading off to the bathroom to drive the porcelain bus. But make sure you do this before you write your narrative. And when you do write it, make sure it's funny! Have a blast with it and make it show. Don't just say you're funny. So what? Prove it by writing funny.

My narrative is written flatout, no-holds-barred, "I-don't-give-a-shyt" hilarious -- and it works like gang busters. (Same goes for your response e-mails to female members.)

What? Being funny isn't easy? Hey, as a sage said eons ago, "comedy ain't pretty." But I'll give you a reading assignment to help you loosen up your humor muscles: any book by Spike Milligan. His writing style is totally whacked and hilarious. (You British DJs are probably already familiar with the late Mr. Milligan.)
His style is frantic, mad and charming. It's catnip to the ladies.

If your profile page is totally different, off-the-wall and fun, don't worry about responding right away to female Match newbies. Give them a few days of enduring the mindless drivel from the breathless AFCs -- and then strike.

Also, despite what you've heard from others, you might want to e-mail back and forth for a few days to see if the lady asks you to speak on the phone before you ask to. It's a great way to both raise and gauge her interest level.

I have other tricks I use on Match, but I'm going to keep those Top Secret for now.

One thing I can tell you is that many of the profiles of under-30 females on Match are fakes! They're posted by scumbags looking to poach your real e-mail address. (Match uses a double-blind e-mail system.) What happens is that one of these poachers replies by saying how "cool you sound", etc., without referencing anything specific to your initial reply. They then either direct you to their personal Web site (I'm sure you know what that is!) or ask for your real e-mail address to sell off to porn sites or whatever.

You can easily tell a phony post if there's just one, way too professional looking photo posted, the narrative is filled with kittenish sexual innuendo, and the "member" hasn't been active for more than a week.

Hope all this helps -- and happy hunting!

 

[olddog]

Bud Wiser Secrets

OK,

I've got a request for Bud Wiser. I'm an older guy (42) using match and would love to hear your Top Secret tips. Please, please e-mail them to me... I'm in a small town in NC and am a recovering AFC who needs all the help he can get.

I've used match.com with some success but feel my profile has been way too serious. I'm going to pull it and get some new pics and read some Milligan b4 reposting. I like Bud Wiser's suggestions about being funny and not giving a shyt.

I've dated some good looking women (7+) close to my age from match but have always blown it by being AFC during the meetings. Of course I'm gradually getting my stuff together and just want to continue to date and make mistakes and get better.

It's funny but the women I've approached generally don't get back to me but I've had plenty of women wanting to hook up with me on match even though my profile is bound to drive you guys to the porcelain bus.

If any of you guys want to get on the bus you can read my profile by searching for username 'mergewithme'.

I responded to one gal who contacted me in a ****y/funny way (at least I thought I did) and never heard from her again. Instead of keeping up the c+f I gave it up. In hindsight it was a mistake.

My experience has also led me to only get online and logged in twice a week at the most, never respond immediately to an e-mail (wait a couple of days), and try to get them on the phone asap.

You know I'm thinking as I'm writing this that it might be good to sharpen my skills on HBs on match.com that aren't in my small town. Why not work on a ****y and funny intro along with my profile and hit on all the HBs in various parts of the country to see what gets the best response? Has anyone played with this?

Guy (aka olddog)

 

[Loverman]

Kill That Desperation

Is it just me or are most of the girls on match ugly?

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Re: Kill That Desperation

Originally posted by Loverman
Is it just me or are most of the girls on match ugly?

I was thinking the same thing. I got on this website and did a search of my local area. I looked at all the different profiles and there was only 1 girl that I would have considered responding too. Maybe it's cuz I live in a medium sized town (80,000). People probably have more success if they live in a Large city, but im not sure.

 

[DJinArizona]

Re: Kill That Desperation

Originally posted by Loverman
Is it just me or are most of the girls on match ugly?

I've met some girls from match who were hot. One girl I hooked up with on there is in my top 3 of all time. Some of them told me they're tired of going out and getting hit on by 100 guys a night so they're trying match instead.

 

[DJinArizona]

Re: Kill That Desperation

Originally posted by Loverman
Is it just me or are most of the girls on match ugly?

But I should add - YES most of them are ugly. Only meet the hot ones!!!

 

[Bud Wiser]

I've got a request for Bud Wiser. I'm an older guy (42) using match and would love to hear your Top Secret tips. Please, please e-mail them to me... I'm in a small town in NC and am a recovering AFC who needs all the help he can get.

Sorry, I'd rather keep those under my hat for now. Maybe someday, when I hook up with The One, I'll let them out for the betterment of DJ-kind.

I agree that your living in a small North Carolina town is limiting. Fortunately, I'm near a major metro area and the pool of HB girls is large.

For proof of that, do a search on Match.com of women within 25 miles of any major city. Perhaps you should try looking for women in Raleigh/Durham or Charlotte?

I can give you one more tip:

If you start ****y/funny, you can't let up -- in e-mails, on the phone or in person. Congruence is important; women expect it.

 

[olddog]

Major Metropolitan Areas

Bud Wiser,

Can't say I'm not dissapointed but will respect your decision and start hitting the major metropolitan areas working on my game.

I appreciate the extra tip about being c&f -- a foreign territory for me but I'm a bright boy and will pick it up.

I used to live in San Diego where there were a plethora of HBs. Someone else I know whose money with women suggested posting my age closer to late 30's because chicks will respond better to younger guys rather than guys over 40.

Whatever it takes. I'm finding mid 20's women are responding to me so once I get comfortable with c&f I can see dating some honeys.

Hook up soon with the one so we can benefit from those xtra tips.

Thanks for your posts.

 

[DJinArizona]

Another match.com tip: since I've had an easier time with the women who respond to my ad instead of vice-versa, you need to log in periodically and change something in your ad so it comes up as "updated" and on the top of all their searches. I can go weeks with no emails, then I update my ad and have 4 or 5 emails the next day. If you go a while without updating the ad, it will be on page 10 of their search and most women will never see it.

 

[olddog]

News from the front...

Just for grins I created a profile as a beautiful, sexy woman in a major metro area just to see what kind of responses I'd get. I pulled an ad I liked and duped it and with hours received 64 replies.

I've since deleted it but was blown away by the number of men jumping on this ad so FAST.

So as mentioned earlier it's best to wait a bit for the tidal wave of AFC's to die down before getting in touch with a hottie on match. I haven't looked at all the emails but can honestly say that most are downright boring. No ****y-funny, just a lot of guys trying to kiss the ass of a gorgeous blonde. So anyone pushing the envelope would definitely stand out.

Also, I changed my profile to be more humorous, not so much ****y and within a very short time received 3 responses... and this in a small town.

I'm also toying with a much more sexual ad on yahoo and will be posting ads in surrounding big cities because I'll be prowling in these cities for business and pleasure soon.

Should be fun. Stay tuned.

 

[Bud Wiser]

Just for giggles, I posted a bogus female HB ad on another online matchmaking service a few years back and got the same results. And a few dates! (Kidding!)

You're definitely on the right track, Old Dog. You'll find it works. Stay with it.

 

[DJinArizona]

I did a little experiment and posted a fake ad with a picture of a very good looking guy and put his height at 6'2" in the ad ... it was getting 2-3 emails per day, compared to the 2-3 emails per week I get from my ad. It just goes to show that no matter what women say, looks are still their first concern.

One girl I know who always talks about "looks don't matter" and "I'd date a guy who's not good-looking or overweight if he was really sweet" went online... I watched her email the 3 best-looking guys she could find without even reading their ads... go figure.

 

[Bud Wiser]

Originally posted by DJinArizona
I did a little experiment and posted a fake ad with a picture of a very good looking guy and put his height at 6'2" in the ad ... it was getting 2-3 emails per day, compared to the 2-3 emails per week I get from my ad. It just goes to show that no matter what women say, looks are still their first concern.

The truth hurts, doesn't it? Very few ladies reply to my ad alone. But the combination of my loony e-mail replies to their posts and my crazy-a$$ posted narrative works like gangbusters.

One of the women I'm now dating actually told me that she had originally seen my page in a search months before we met and she blew me off! Now, three months after I had replied to her posting with my smart aleck e-mail, she's still blowing me. Go figure.