hOW TO TELL

[loverboy2003]

was workin with this girl for about 6 mths and it was like a back and forth situation she would flirt then not then flirt again, anyways i have liked her for sum time and kinda took an easy goin approach but still made it obvious i liked her, i would ask her to come one with a few of us( makin in obvious i wanted her to come) and she would decline but make it up the next day, kinda flirts with other guys so it would seem to make me jelous and just screw with my mind

now got fired from this plave but still keep in contact(her idea) with her we go out on weekends with a bunch of other people but she still plays her games i have had people tell me they are postitive she is testing me INTREST in her and testing my courage( if i will ask her out) it would seem she is kinda seeing this other guy but others have advised me to just tell her how i feel and if anything get it OUT, my question to you guys is 2 fold FIRST her declineing but making it up the next day, is that a way for her to TRY to control the situation rather then have me dictate it? SECOND do i tell her how i feel, and if i don whats the best way to tell her and will it COMPLETELY DESTROY ANY SHOT I HAVE WITH HER

 

[DJmonster]

Do not spew your feelings out to this girl. You would definitely scare her away. Take action, and leave your emotions out of it.

 

[loverboy2003]

hmm dont tell her see this is why i came here before i do anything cuz other girls i know keep tellin me to TELL HER HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER AND OR ASK HER OUT so i relay on you guys as the decisding factor,, well i certainly dont wanna scare her away BUT we both are so it seems anyways unsure of what to do next like idont wanna persue her if she is with this other guy but she has made it obvious he dont mean a lot to her bet yet she kinda throws me curve balls and mixed signs so where do i go from there if i dont tell her how i feel

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by loverboy2003
FIRST her declineing but making it up the next day, is that a way for her to TRY to control the situation rather then have me dictate it?

You asked her to come and hang out with you and your buddies, not you. When you ask a girl to hang out with a bunch of people, that's not a "situation", that's a "party." Ask her out already.

SECOND do i tell her how i feel, and if i don whats the best way to tell her and will it COMPLETELY DESTROY ANY SHOT I HAVE WITH HER

Yeah...go from "all of us hanging out" to "I love you soooooo much"...if you want her to freak out and run as far away as possible.

Man, ask her out already. Don't spew your feelings, don't feel like you need to invite a group along to make her feel "comfortable"...if you want to go out with the girl, ASK HER OUT.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You truly don't know this chick so how could you tell her how you feel about her? Your feelings are solely based on looks and attraction and not based on your judgment of her character. Feelings should be based on character and not looks.

Never tell a girl how you feel -- she doesn't care how you feel - what only matters is if she sees you as a potential mate...you will only know this by asking her to join you for some tea and biscuits(for you english guys out there) If she says no, then don't ask "why not?" or beg her a second time. And don't look like a lost and hurt pupppy - show confidence!!!

Girls know when you want them too much....and they don't like afc's who look desperate! So don't be one!

 

[StimulI]

Turn the tables

You say that she's testin' you by not flirting all the time and by flirting with other people. Why don't you do the same. Start flirting with other chicks while she's around. Start (or keep on) with ****y & funny remarks to her. Test her interest level. If you start flirting with other chick in front of her she'll be thinkin', "Uh oh...He's not showing me the type of attention that he did before. He might be loosin' his interest in me."

That's where you have her. She wouldn't be waistin' her time testin' you if she didn't have any interest in you. AND by turnin' the tables, she will be in the same place you are right now. In stead of usin' her "woman power" to TEST your interest level she'll be usin' it to RAISE your interest level (as if your interest level had really dropped to begin with, but she doesn't know that ).

 

[ManOMan]

Loverboy,

I hate to burst your bubble, but she isnt flirting with other guys to "test" you.

This girl sounds like she flirts with everyone for her own ego and arrogance.

OPEN YOUR EYES, if she was interested, she would be giving you STRONGER signals, not trying to turn you off by flirting with other men.

And you are listening to women for advice? tell her you love her, and watch her run

 

[loverboy2003]

well first of all the reason i am attracted to her is NOT based solely on looks it just something about her i cant really explain, second i do flirt with her and OTHER girls in front of her, when i flirt with her she kinda plays a long with the kino and enjoys it when i reverse the situation like she does and flirt with other girls she clearly gets jellous or a little mad at me, like 1 night at work i was setting up an evening with her so i was flirting with her and showing her a lot of attention but then i decided to lay off her the rest of the night and flirt with other girls there, by the end of the night when we were gonna go out she was pist at me and was cold to me the most of the night exept near the end when she started warming up and flirting with me again. and she isn't the type to flirt with everyone she the type of girl from what i can tell that if she dont like you she WONT be around you

 

[white_hype]

didnt read any of the other posts (too long)
but man u have a lot of work to do... your A LOT worse than i was when i was like 14

1- dont tell ANY girl how u feel until she does

2- you work with her? asking her out will make it much more awkward (if u break up/get rejected)and harder (no mystery/always see her)

u waited 6 months? wtf is wrong with u

heres what id do:

get her number and be like lets go to a PARTY together... there u can see if theres any chemisty or not.. if so TELL her to hang out with you oustide of work

 

[Befuddled]

1. She dosent like you in "THAT" way.
2. Shes an attention ***** who likes all the attention she gets. youre a supplierof attention and she'll keep u at bay for as long as she can.
3. You/her/both are drama queens. there are no games here. she has blown you off on various occasions.
4. Shes going out with someone else !!! she'd rather spend time alone with other guys...what does that tell you ? it's really not that complicated.
(Answer: she dosent want to go out/be with you)
5. Never confess any feeling to girls... makes you appear weak.

Seriously dude.... quit wasting your time.

I'm guessing your new here. She is your 'oneitis'... the one that will lead you to the depths of depression (probably) but never fear.... you will GROW out of it. And there is some preety good advise here to help you overcome this chick and find something better.

Cheers.