How to tell my GF I kissed another girl?

[Jariel]

Today I met with a male friend and a girl I dated last year. She had quite a crush on me, she's smoking hot, but it didn't go anywhere - mainly due to too many hot and cold games (lesson learned).

We flirted a bit today...quite innocently I thought, until we parted ways. I gave her a hug goodbye, then she kissed me full on. My mistake is that I instinctively kissed her back. My hand was on her ass the whole time too, but I swear that wasn't intentional! All in front of our mutual male friend.

Any redblooded man would have done the same. The problem is that I'm in a committed and happy relationship that I don't want put at risk. Gossip travels fast in my friendship circles so one way or another I am 99% sure my gf will hear about this.

I need to tell her before she hears it from someone else, and I need to tell her in a way that makes me look as innocent as possible. Any suggestions?

 

[Macca]

Err...let me see...ah here's a plan:

I need to tell her before she hears it from someone else

Wow I said that without moving my lips!!!:moon:

:flowers: :flowers:

 

[Buck Rogers]

Never underestimate the power of denial.

Sounds to me like you should be the high school forum.

 

[mrRuckus]

but I swear that wasn't intentional! All in front of our mutual male friend.

Any redblooded man would have done the same.

No any man with self control would not have.

Is this the same girlfriend you were supposed to have dumped? You didn't oopsey make a mistake. You wanted to kiss her because you liked it and did so.


And man up and just admit YOU fvcked up. Don't go saying everyone would have done the same thing to cover it up or make yourself feel better or whatever.

This is chick logic where they go to the bar and drink a bit and suddenly they're kissing some dude and claimed "it just happened" as if they have no responsibility. Things don't just happen... you actively did something.

I went to the bar a couple years ago. This girl flung herself at me repeatedly trying to get me to dance and kiss her and whatever else. I was DRUNK and still had the sense to immediately say NO and had to physically push her away to get her to stop. I didn't hesitate. I quickly made a choice and said NO i have a girlfriend even if i could easily kiss her and take her home and fvck her. There was no debate. There was: "i made a commitment to another girl and even if i dont' like her anymore i'm a man and i stick to my commitments."

Hell i just remembered this happened again this summer where the girl throwing herself at me (she even rubbed her breasts on my face -i was sitting down and she was standing up and tapped me on the shoulder and when i turned around put them in my face-) got really pissed off and thus her friends were pissed off until i told them I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND I TOLD YOUR FRIEND THAT BUT SHE WOULDN'T ACCEPT IT. Suddenly all her friends were really happy with me and thought i was really cool and a great guy for getting PISSED that i have a girlfriend and telling her no and her not caring. I was just mad that girls b1tch that men aren't faithful and are such big liars but then actively try to get us to cheat screwing their own kind.

 

[Jariel]

Err...let me see...ah here's a plan:



Wow I said that without moving my lips!!!:moon:

:flowers: :flowers:

And tell her what exactly? Telling her I kissed another girl will end in tears, anger and maybe worse. I want to avoid hurting her.

Surely some of the experienced players on here talk themselves out of blame all the time.

Is this the same girlfriend you were supposed to have dumped? You didn't oopsey make a mistake.

Uh? Why was I supposed to have dumped her?

And man up and just admit YOU fvcked up. Don't go saying everyone would have done the same thing to cover it up or make yourself feel better or whatever.

Yeah, true, I ****ed up and showed a moment of weakness. It happens when a hot chick throws herself at you, but maybe you wouldn't know.

But it's not just about making me feel better, I don't want to upset my girlfriend and don't want her to blow it out of proportion.

 

[MacAvoy]

Don't tell her. If she accuses you, deny it. Don't allow her to become jealous, if she doesn't accept your answer, tell her that your not going to put up with her jealousy and show her the door.

Women are attracted to men who are the prize. Never forget that. If you resort to being AFC and apologizing, you might as kiss her goodbye and say hello to her memories.

 

[mrRuckus]

It happens when a hot chick throws herself at you, but maybe you wouldn't know.
.

Yeah. I wet myself when i see boobies. So exciting!

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Jariel,



On the subject of telling your girlfriend that you kissed another girl:


TAKE IT TO THE GRAVE.

That's right. I say DON'T tell her. Nothing good can come of it. There is NO spin you can put on this that will make you look good. As has been stated above, treat this situation like the U.S. Government treats all situations where they KNOW that they've fukked up and are being confronted with it:

DENY...DENY...DENY!

If you care about your girlfriend AND you really want to stay in your current relationship, full disclosure of your actions will only unburden YOU and then place the load of burden onto HER. To me, that'll be as selfish as kissing the chick you used to date.

But the real question you should ask yourself is:

"Am I REALLY into my current girlfriend or not? And If I were really into her, WHY would I have let myself fall into tempation to kiss this old news chick from the past????"

How you answer those questions will tell the story of how much value you really place in this current relationship. So if you really want your current chick, jerk the slack out of your own ass and man up and continue to be the upstanding guy you know you need to be.

If not, consider that it may be time for you to be moving on.




Peace...one day.

 

[speed dawg]

If she had kissed you only, then you could say, "this chick just kissed me." But you kissed her back. You're wrong about one thing. You say any man wouldv'e done it? I say any man wouldv'e WANTED to do it. You've got this double-standard thing going. You know now that you can't get pissed if you ever found out your girl did this sort of thing, right?

 

[\O/]

Never tell. No good can come of it. If you're busted, deny it.

 

[sexy_kuta]

dont tell her **** it hahah

trust me, it never happened.. ok nothing happend. and i hope u dont get futhure with that girl u kisses..

 

[Pappadapolis]

Today I met with a male friend and a girl I dated last year. She had quite a crush on me, she's smoking hot, but it didn't go anywhere - mainly due to too many hot and cold games (lesson learned).

We flirted a bit today...quite innocently I thought, until we parted ways. I gave her a hug goodbye, then she kissed me full on. My mistake is that I instinctively kissed her back. My hand was on her ass the whole time too, but I swear that wasn't intentional! All in front of our mutual male friend.

Any redblooded man would have done the same. The problem is that I'm in a committed and happy relationship that I don't want put at risk. Gossip travels fast in my friendship circles so one way or another I am 99% sure my gf will hear about this.

I need to tell her before she hears it from someone else, and I need to tell her in a way that makes me look as innocent as possible. Any suggestions?

Buck Rogers is right, that is a High School Forum question. Chris Rock said it best, "Women are like the police. They can have all the evidence in the world, but they want the confession."

You'd be amazed how you can get a girl to think that everyone, even her own eyes, are lying just by denying.

 

[JLW]

I'd just come clean and accept the consequences.

You made a mistake. It was ****ty, but what are ya gonna do.

You can't value your girlfriend THAT much, if you kissed this girl back. Sorry.

I've been completely out of my head drunk, and a girl sat on my lap and moved in for the kiss, and pushed her off of me, because I had a girlfriend. If you aren't willing to dedicate yourself to a girl, then you don't belong in the relationship. Your girlfriend might dump you. But you couldn't have valued her that much if you willingly kissed this other girl. You wouldn't have let it get that far.

If I was your girlfriend, and I heard rumors that my man was messing around, I would instantly lose trust unless there was a lot of evidence that those people were lying. If she does hear about it, which it seems like she will, it will be the ultimate demise of the relationship anyway. Because now, if she hears about it, she will have a LOT of trust issues with you. It will be more of a headache than it's worth.

You ****ed up, be HONORABLE, and be a man. Don't sugar-coat it. Just tell her like it is.

 

[DJDamage]

And tell her what exactly? Telling her I kissed another girl will end in tears, anger and maybe worse. I want to avoid hurting her.

Surely some of the experienced players on here talk themselves out of blame all the time..

Experiant players talk themsleves out of blame all the time but they are always on the run, looking behind their shoulders always in fear that the truth will come out and thinking about making up another lie to salavage whatever they had. If you don't mind living this kind of life then so be it.

If you tell her the truth she won't buy it. If you were in her shoes would you buy it?! No you would end it there.

Stop running from the truth. Accept the fact that you are a man that is not yet ready to be in a full time relationship and you still want to date different women. Then tell your woman you want to see other people and if she likes it great if not then just next her. Control your life and where its going rather then let life control you.

 

[blinkwatt]

Stop running from the truth. Accept the fact that you are a man that is not yet ready to be in a full time relationship and you still want to date different women. Then tell your woman you want to see other people and if she likes it great if not then just next her. Control your life and where its going rather then let life control you.

Wow!(Hands clapping)

 

[Fantasy]

Never underestimate the power of denial.

Sounds to me like you should be the high school forum.

Exactly!

People, what is the first rule of being a playa!?

Deny! Deny! Deny!

 

[realsmoothie]

Just tell her. You kissed this girl, now deal with the consequences. If you're out there kissing other chicks, you obviously don't care much about the one you're with.

Same with her... if she really likes you, she'll understand.

Ain't no getting out of this one, man.

 

[Faca]

Just tell her that the girl kissed you, and don't make it a big deal cause it isn't. you didn't cheat on her

 

[Jariel]

Thanks for all the replies. Just wanted some objective suggestions here.

I've decided just not to mention it and then if she hears something, I'll just play it down: "Kiss? It was just a friendly peck goodbye" then accuse whoever told her of exaggerating and stirring. It wasn't as though I made any moves on this girl, I just responded with my instincts rather than with my brain.

One thing this has made me realise is that I do care about my girlfriend a lot. The girl I kissed today is one of the hottest girls I know, but all I've been able to think about since is my girlfriend and how scared I am of losing her and hurting her.

 

[kyphan]

If you were looking back on your life years into the future, which past would you rather have behind you? Think beyond telling your girl. Do you really want to be with her, considering you're willing to kiss the first hottie that bats her eyelashes at you? She won't be the last, either, so don't think the situation will never happen again. Do you want to pursue this other girl, or was she just a sign that you want to date other people?

Besides the guilt you feel and the fear of your woman's wrath (oh yes, her WRATH), what outcome do you ultimately want? Deny it and you are forever a liar in your own heart and possibly many others' eyes. Tell her and face the consequences of your own actions (and a glass vase flying across the room at your skull - which is protecting a brain that you are refusing to use in this instance, so if she hit you it might not be THAT bad after all).

Be a man and either decide you want to be with her or not. If you want to be with her, tell her the truth and face the consequences because she may not want to be with YOU (and the ball is in her court now). If not, tell her you want to date other people.