how to tell a guy to back the fcuk up

[iqqi]

Re: Is THIS guy the "man of your dreams" ...

Originally posted by Bonhomme
or are you writing about two different guys here?

If he's the "man of your dreams" and you just want to be a distraction, no wonder he's confused!

The best way to **** him over would be to keep confusing him. If you're into him, go for it!

I dunno about him, but I can easily forget an ex if a good prospect comes into my life. You're projecting a woman's attitudes into him. He's a man, not a woman. Don't expect him to think like a woman.

bonny where have you been? there are quite a few posts in the last couple of weeks of men who just got their heart broken and now think they have lost the taste for love and even women altogether!

example

 

[thissucks003]

Originally posted by iqqi
So I invited him to club with me this weekend. My question is, how to I tell him to back the fcuk up, when he tries to "get freaky with me" which he will do cuz i'm irresistable. I really just want to show him a good time (NO JOKES, AZZHOLES!), and keep my boundaries.

Those of you who can respect a woman who does not do fcuk buddying, how should I respond to his advances, and still keep it cool ie not destroy his ego???

To get back on topic!

That's very easy! Tell him a story about a similiar situation that happen to a friend of yours and how you don't want that to happen to you two. That way you don't sound like a bioyotch and he will see what limits he can and can't get away with.

But be prepared, that as you keep putting limits and boundaries of how you want this relationship to develop on your terms, he will more than likely get frustrated and look elsewhere and you will lose what you really want to happen. Jake Steed was right about mixed signals. Be very aware of this maybe backfiring.

Good Luck,

TS

 

[squirrels]

This site is all about teaching men to have more respect for themselves than to waste time with women like you. Why are you flirting with him if you're not interested?

Guys are not "girlfriends"...you could go to a club and dance with your girlfriends and even grind on them and look/get all sexual, without worrying about them wanting to F you when the night's over. That's NOT going to work with a guy. Maybe you can get away with that with a metrosexual or a guy you've been platonic friends with forever (read: has NO romantic interest in you), but this guy wants your p*ssy. What you are doing is teasing him so that he'll be your friend/boytoy, but not giving him what HE wants in return. You want him to be able to go to the club with you and dance/grind with you and not want to f**k you at the end of the night? Mix some saltpeter in his drink.

And we know it's his OWN damned fault for being AFC around you, but there's nothing YOU can do to make him respect himself enough to stop trying to bang you. Anything that YOU do will just make things worse. HE has to take the initiative.

Send him over here so we can teach him to be DJ...then he won't waste any more time trying to get into your panties.

 

[GirlCrazy]

You shouldn't be hanging out with any guy that's gonna make unwelcome advances on you. Like some other posters said, all you are doing is leading him on and giving him mixed signals. Rationalize it all you want, but that's what you are doing.

I'd say poor guy, but it's his own damn fault. Another sucker without the sense to move on. Somewhere along the line you have given him hope that there might be something physical between you two, and he has latched onto that hope. Of course the best thing for you to do is take away that hope by not seeing him anymore.

Maybe you get off by surrounding yourself with drama.

Drama queen alert! *flashing red lights*

 

[Starman]

sheesh..just push him away if he tries anything .. and say in a serious tone "Im not that kind of Girl!"

but dont start flirting with him, getting him turned on to satiate your own ego...only to have his bruised at the end

Its quite very simple..if you dont want him coming on to you, DONT SEND FLIRTY SIGNALS

you cant have your cake and eat it too

p.s. put a vice against your hips to keep your legs closed

 

[dionysius_d]

decide.

If he is attracted to you (as you have intimated), then he WILL have feelings and be disappointed if "nothing happens".. especially if you invite him out.

You sound like you are in conflict, because you would like to start something with him, but at the same time, don't want to be hurt if it doesn't work (eg. rebound).

Unfortunately, nobody can prevent such a thing.

Just decide what you want from him, then communicate THAT to him, and action it.. being in 2 minds will break you both.

 

[chlywly]

Simply let him know in a warm polite fashion you're not into sex too soon That you like him but would like to take thing slow.

 

[IDMeansNothing]

iqqi -
This actually is a very good thread because it is so demonstrative of what women end up doing to a guy, without even knowing it.

Iqqi, I have seen you say some really great things on this board, so I have some good respect going for you. Having said that, I'll tell you to re-read the entire thread and look at all the different advice and what is happening. It epitomizes the differences between the sexes...how we guys interpret actions, mixed signals, etc. when a woman thinks she can just keep it going with zero consequences. And there will be consequences.

I don't know who said it above, but PLAIN ENGLISH, not ********, complete disclosure, will resolve this the way it should be. Remember, men by nature are problem solvers. He will keep coming at you from different angles as long as you present him with ANYTHING to give him hope. Mixed signals drive us completely insane, to the point where we either end up a pathetic mess or totally give up.

So, what the hhell is this "test"? For what? My prediciton is that your perfect man will end up a vegetable if you keep this up, or he will ultimately NEXT you. People are ALWAYS on the rebound. ALWAYS. Come completely clean with him. He deserves it, and it would certainly boost your already good standing here (not that that matters - it just seems in character).

Good luck - I know you'll do the right thing..

 

[Player_Supreme]

"Those of you who can respect a woman who does not do fcuk buddying,"

I guess I have nothing to say except I didn't know you were female iggy...good to know now.

I thought this site was for men who want to become players like the original don juan de'marco...never mind all that how to become a man bull shyt some fools spit out...

At another site I belong to for the more serious players a few female so called "pimps" who pimp their own kind started posting, they got flamed off...this is a nice place to let you post...

cool..sign of the times I guess as prince said.


In answer to your question, how come your not following the female way which is about communication? Communicate what you want to this guy. Tell him you like him, you want to be with him, but not right now, tell him how you feel...in a feminine way...don't say it like a bull dyke would...I don't know your personality but I hope even though you come up in here, you are still feminine and appeasing (don't bother-- I will not be checking back on this thread or any threads ever again, if you have a retorte email me).

peace

 

[chlywly]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
"Those of you who can respect a woman who does not do fcuk buddying,"

I guess I have nothing to say except I didn't know you were female iggy...good to know now.

I thought this site was for men who want to become players like the original don juan de'marco...never mind all that how to become a man bull shyt some fools spit out...

At another site I belong to for the more serious players a few female so called "pimps" who pimp their own kind started posting, they got flamed off...this is a nice place to let you post...

cool..sign of the times I guess as prince said.


In answer to your question, how come your not following the female way which is about communication? Communicate what you want to this guy. Tell him you like him, you want to be with him, but not right now, tell him how you feel...in a feminine way...don't say it like a bull dyke would...I don't know your personality but I hope even though you come up in here, you are still feminine and appeasing (don't bother-- I will not be checking back on this thread or any threads ever again, if you have a retorte email me).

peace

That made no sense what so ever.

 

[BGMan]

Originally posted by iqqi
Well, I LJBF'd him cuz I really do like him but he is not ready for a real LTR, just got divorced. So he calls just now, talking aout the horrible time he had at the club ("all the girls are HO'S") he's probaly depressed as hell that he is back in the game.

So I invited him to club with me this weekend. My question is, how to I tell him to back the fcuk up, when he tries to "get freaky with me" which he will do cuz i'm irresistable. I really just want to show him a good time (NO JOKES, AZZHOLES!), and keep my boundaries.

Those of you who can respect a woman who does not do fcuk buddying, how should I respond to his advances, and still keep it cool ie not destroy his ego???

I'm one of those guys who doesn't believe in having fvck buddies, so I'll respect you for that.

I think that you should tell this guy that you don't want a relationship with him, that you don't think it would work out, and that he should allow himself time to heal. You say you "really do like him", but when he spilled all his insecurities and hang-ups about other women to you, not to mention his advancing on you at the club, he turned you off permanently, and although it probably hasn't sunk in totally yet, your reluctance to get physical with him seems to back this hypothesis up.

I think you should lose this AFC. Besides, he's divorced, and divorced men are always walking bombs.

BGMan

 

[sAxyguy83]

I dunno about other guys here, but if a girl tells me to back off, I'll accept it and back off. Just tell him that you don't feel comfortable having sex yet (if you have intentions towards him), or that you just don't want any right now. If he keeps trying after you tell him "no", then kick his @$$ out onto the pavement.

 

[Albion2]

iqqi

You're playing games, plain and simple. Not all people are textbook, some can jump into a relationship and be perfectly happy with the new person immediately after a break up, and some can't. Most likely he will never get over her, if he really loved her that is. By making the choice to push him away you are placing yourself in a lose lose situation. By just wanting to be friends for now you are telling him it is ok to go out and find another girl, it's what I'd do. I wouldn't wait around for you to decide whether I was ready or not for a relationship with you. And when that day comes that he introduces you to that new girl you will be heart broken.

I say go for it; make the commitment to be an exclusive couple. But let him know that you need a little time to be sure that you aren't a rebound and would like to wait to have sex. That doesn't mean you can't fool around in other ways, and if you've made the commitment to be exclusive there's nothing slutty about it. If he really likes you he will respect your wishes to wait, if he doesn't he'll be gone. But if you tell him you just want to be friends for now there will be no chance of him respecting your wishes, he will just be gone.

If there's one important thing I've learned in life, whether it deals with chasing women or jobs or whatever, it's; if you're unwilling to take a chance you will never have the opportunity to know whether you will fail or succeed. Success comes from the acceptance of the fact that there is a chance of failure. And there's nothing wrong with failure because if nothing else you gain knwoledge.

I hope that helps...

-Al

 

[Julius_Caesar]

So you want to tell a guy to back the F up? Well, tell him that you are NOT INTERESTED IN HIM THAT WAY. That is the only way, but that is not all. As many people have said, you are giving him mixed signals. You either tell him what I said above, or you get in a relationship. But after you say that, YOU CAN'T flirt or give him any sexual signals, like grinding, because he will think that you REALLY DO want sex, and are just playing hard to get. Take it or leave it. That is how a guy thinks, just read all the posts that WE have sent in reply to yours, we all come to this conclusion, it must be right. Typical of a woman to make something so complicated. Just pick a path and go down it. Guys don't think about ego like you do, and a girl can't destroy a real man. Get off your high hor-se, it is not your job to protect his fragile ego, hardship is good for men anyways, destroy him and he will come back stronger than ever! Now I have an idea, in fact, you NEED to destroy him, he will pick up the peaces and come back ten time stronger! Most guys on this board never get the chance he could get, we don't get the other person to make the decision for us to change for us. Beat him up, then come back in a few months and he will be fine, it will probably make him heal faster anyway.

I still don't know why we are wasting time on such meaningless woman problems. I am not saying that there should be no women on this board, but I do think that them asking for help is a waste of time. I am all about reading their responses to a male poster because it gives US a different perspective on our problems, and that is very helpful for all us guys. But US responding to her gives her our perspective, so we help her. But it is all about priorities. There are probably twenty girls compared to 8600 guys. I don't care. POST AWAY!

Vale