How to tame that feeling?

[Fatal Jay]

I regret to inform you that you're ****ed. But this situation is common, and repeated constantly on here. This is why you don't become infatuated, think with your emotions, act relationshipy too soon, believe or assume anything - and DO keep your guard up, pay attention to everything, keep the game where it's supposed to be (for your own sake and safety), etc.

Never be too attached to leave too soon, assume things are smooth sailin' and become too comfortable, give them the benefit of the doubt, or not see things for how they really are. Lesson learned.

Everything you are seeing right now is the real her. Her interest declined (assuming she ever had any), yours increased, she knows this, and now she's treating you like ****. She was also likely playing you all along. Things will never go back to "how they were" - because THEY WERE NEVER REAL. This is how she treats people once she "has" them, and/or her interest declines. As well as playing the field, and not caring about other people in general. AKA, this is the real her. These TRUE COLORS of hers would have revealed themselves eventually, and you'd be going through the same ****, either way.

All that happened is, you got played. A genuinely decent / sweet girl would NOT be doing these things, or acting this way, OR making you feel this way. Only a slut / player / ***** who put on an act of being decent / sweet would. She only cares about herself, and treats people like **** - because she's a *****.

Always pay especially close attention to the sweet, charming, and seemingly "perfect" hotties. They have this **** down, and are usually HUGE players who hide their true colors in the beginning, and ***** around like you wouldn't believe. They are also big-time *****es.

Always remember that EVERYONE puts on an act in the very beginning. Players are especially focused on the infatuation period, and do this **** with everyone ON PURPOSE. It's their whole game. They KNOW people are focused on their looks, have their head in clouds, and are easily deceived. ****'s real.

Also remember that, if it seems too good to be true - it usually is.

great post and everything in it is true

neon read it over and over again,and leave this chick go nc with her for at least 3 months

Floyd im reppin you for this one

 

[Neon Owl]

dude your sad, you are very anti dj and should be ashamed of your damn self

you are wasting your time and life

she is going to dump you,and watch how you beg for her to not leave you, and how much you love her

while she is f@cking another guy, and they are laughing at you on the phone

you need to get some f@cking balls and dump this girl,and move on

but judging by your post you don't think your good enough, you will put up with her ish just because you got low self esteem in yourelf and think you cant find another woman how sad

you should be banned from this forum

I never claimed to be a DJ this is my very first relationship coming to an end so I think it's to be expected that I'm feeling a bit hesitant and depressed about the whole thing.

I'm always learning and I'm light years ahead of where I was a year ago so I don't think your post is warranted tbh.

 

[nroug7]

dude your sad, you are very anti dj and should be ashamed of your damn self

you are wasting your time and life

she is going to dump you,and watch how you beg for her to not leave you, and how much you love her

while she is f@cking another guy, and they are laughing at you on the phone

you need to get some f@cking balls and dump this girl,and move on

but judging by your post you don't think your good enough, you will put up with her ish just because you got low self esteem in yourelf and think you cant find another woman how sad

you should be banned from this forum

While he does need to man up, he should certainly not be banned from this forum.

This forum is about development and growth, and that's a tough thing for some people, isn't our best ability as DJs to be able to listen, understand and react appropriately?
We all have our tough times, we all have our reasons for coming here, telling him that he should be banned ain't going to help. That's like telling a girl to fvck off because she didn't give you what you wanted from her, and that's not very DJish, the DJ is patient, understands and moves on to the next girl, no matter what the outcome.
Likewise, we should be patient here.

 

[floydb25]

Yes, everything you're going through is normal. We've all been there. No, it doesn't just go away; yes it takes time to recover. Whether you realize it or not - this is an AWESOME learning experience. Yes, it makes you depressed, angry, crazy, bitter, etc, but that's the only way to learn, adapt, improve, REALIZE REALITY, and make sure it doesn't happen again. You'll see... just not for a good while - as the emotions are going haywire.

It took me 3 years to fully recover from a few *****es who destroyed me. But that's because I was the typical nice guy fairytale romance naive wearing heart on a sleeve head in the clouds tolerating bull**** sucker. *****es and *******s love these types, and hone in on them, by the way.

I think accepting reality is the hardest part in all this. Realizing that its a lot different than how you thought / wanted them to be. Mostly that people suck ass, the world is a cruel place, there's a lot of selfish *******s who will do anything to get their way, and specifically target the weak / gullible, players are predominant, you can't be too nice or understanding, etc, etc.

 

[Neon Owl]

Yes, everything you're going through is normal. We've all been there. No, it doesn't just go away; yes it takes time to recover. Whether you realize it or not - this is an AWESOME learning experience. Yes, it makes you depressed, angry, crazy, bitter, etc, but that's the only way to learn, adapt, improve, REALIZE REALITY, and make sure it doesn't happen again. You'll see... just not for a good while - as the emotions are going haywire.

It took me 3 years to fully recover from a few *****es who destroyed me. But that's because I was the typical nice guy fairytale romance naive wearing heart on a sleeve head in the clouds tolerating bull**** sucker. *****es and *******s love these types, and hone in on them, by the way.

I think accepting reality is the hardest part in all this. Realizing that its a lot different than how you thought / wanted them to be. Mostly that people suck ass, the world is a cruel place, there's a lot of selfish *******s who will do anything to get their way, and specifically target the weak / gullible, players are predominant, etc, etc.

Thanks mate and to all those that are offering genuine advice, it's much appreciated.
Do you have any tips in general for speeding up the recovery process?

 

[nroug7]

Thanks mate and to all those that are offering genuine advice, it's much appreciated.
Do you have any tips in general for speeding up the recovery process?

Read the DJ Bible, I highly recommend you read weapons of mass seduction first if you can handle it, then move on to the book of pook, there's other smaller encouraging posts included inside as well (Tons of wisdom, go read it!)

Someone with more memory and knowledge of it then me might point you in the right direction to start.

 

[Fatal Jay]

While he does need to man up, he should certainly not be banned from this forum.

This forum is about development and growth, and that's a tough thing for some people, isn't our best ability as DJs to be able to listen, understand and react appropriately?
We all have our tough times, we all have our reasons for coming here, telling him that he should be banned ain't going to help. That's like telling a girl to fvck off because she didn't give you what you wanted from her, and that's not very DJish, the DJ is patient, understands and moves on to the next girl, no matter what the outcome.
Likewise, we should be patient here.

I was joking about the banning, its called tough love, im telling him the truth about himself no matter how much it hurts

but I think he is pathetic for, acting like someone else and wasting his time trying to trick this woman

that's a f@cking loser move, that's very childish

 

[nroug7]

I was joking about the banning, its called tough love, im telling him the truth about himself no matter how much it hurts

but I think he is pathetic for, acting like someone else and wasting his time trying to trick this woman

that's a f@cking loser move, that's very childish

No doubt, but we come here to become men.

 

[Neon Owl]

I was joking about the banning, its called tough love, im telling him the truth about himself no matter how much it hurts

but I think he is pathetic for, acting like someone else and wasting his time trying to trick this woman

that's a f@cking loser move, that's very childish

How have I acted like someone else? I'm only trying to be the best me that I can be by dealing with my insecurities. I've never tried to trick her I have no idea what you're talking about.

You assume a lot about me despite knowing very little

 

[Fatal Jay]

How have I acted like someone else? I'm only trying to be the best me that I can be by dealing with my insecurities. I've never tried to trick her I have no idea what you're talking about.

You assume a lot about me despite knowing very little

wth?

you didn't just say you was going to go online and pretend you was another guy to deceive her?

After she ditched our plans for her to come over to mine this weekend due to her friend's birthday party suddenly cropping up I just decided I'd take a peek on the dating site I met her on and wouldn't you know it she has logged in in the last 24hrs...I'm so fvcking angry right now.

I've made a fake profile and I'm going to entertain myself the next few days while I NC and see if I can get her chatting with this fake guy.
I knew something was going on she's been so distant from me these past couple of weeks.

If i confronted her about it now I'm sure she'd just tell me she was looking for my pics to show her mates again as she has said before. I've actually deleted my profile though so if she logs in again over the next few days I'll be able to tell what's going on for sure. I'm going to msg her and see if I can get some flirting going.

I feel sick right now...partially pissed off and partially disgusted at how much of a slut my gf actually is.

you right I know little about you,and you have a lot of insecurities to do that, that's loser ish

going nc and making a fake profile and still talking to her.......smh.......

that's chick is in her 40s, and she pissed off at you cause you don't do anything, you just said you stay in the house and wait for her to tell you to come over, you just said you don't have a job

dude what woman wants that bro,this woman is your life and when women know that they dog you out to the ground..........you need to do some serious reflecting and work on yourself

 

[VladPatton]

It's really sad that you have to guard yourself from a pretty woman to such an extent. What the fellas said about them showing their true colors once you are hooked is painfully true. It is an expensive, pain filled lesson. You basically want the bad to go away and the good to suddenly reappear. Thing is it doesn't.

What I would do is pay her back with the same treatment she gave you and just continue the NC, fück it, it's all she deserves for treating you like shıt. Don't be nervous waiting around for her to text or call. If she does, just matter-of-factly say: "Yeah I don't see us going anywhere, I think we should end this"--and just Pow! You hit her with it! She won't see it coming. That's power right there. And don't stand for any of her BPD reasoning or bargaining. No. None. You made your decision. You are sticking to it. You are the relationship Terminator and you will not stop until the relationship is dead! lol

Remarkably, as insane as this sounds, it will give you an overwhelming sense of power. Trust me, and everyone here replying to you, there are other women, I don't care their age, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that are better for you.

As a final note; don't think of this as an end, but as an experience that added a powerful weapon to your woman-filtering arsenal. It may happen again, sure, but you will be prepared for it well ahead of any blow-ups or shıt-worthy treatments from the woman.

Good luck, and let us know how things turned out.

 

[JoeMarron]

As of right now act as if she never existed. If she blows up your phone with messages you cant answer them because she doesn't exist. I would tell you to just downgrade her to a fk buddy but I dont think youre emotionally ready for that yet.

You can give yourself a little time to grieve if you want but after that you need to do some serious work on yourself. Find a job, start hanging out with your friends again, find things to do that you enjoy, read the DJ bible, start gaming other chicks etc. All of this will be tough at first but eventually you'll come out of this much stronger and youll laugh at the bs your old self tolerated. Feel free to pump and dump this chick later on after you become a boss lol.

 

[Neon Owl]

Just took another look on the dating site and she logged in again in the last hour so I now know 100% she is looking for other guys.

I sent her a text telling her it's over.

 

[Neon Owl]

I feel like sh1t right now...I know I did the right thing but I feel hollow inside. B1tch hasn't even replied to my text. I'm going to delete my fake profile off the site so I'm not tempted to see if she's online because every time I see her pic I feel like sh1t.

Could really use some advice on how to lift my mood and make myself feel better about this...can't go out with friends as my best mate is away on holiday and my other mates live miles away.

 

[Neon Owl]

Go to the gym, aside from going out and meeting women that is the best remedy.

I would but it shuts early on the weekends. I'll go on monday and take my frustration out on the iron.

Just started talking to this gorgeous 32yr old lass on POF who msgd me out of the blue about half an hour after I added my pic haha
I think I need to give myself more credit than I have been in my ability to attract good looking women. Feeling a little better already

Oh and the ex is now txting me asking how I even know that she's been on the site if I deleted my profile lol as if that's the important issue. Fvcking women!!

 

[betheman]

Just started talking to this gorgeous 32yr old lass on POF who msgd me out of the blue about half an hour after I added my pic haha
I think I need to give myself more credit than I have been in my ability to attract good looking women. Feeling a little better already

Oh and the ex is now txting me asking how I even know that she's been on the site if I deleted my profile lol as if that's the important issue. Fvcking women!!

Pursue the Blond, with lessons learned, have fun, treat it like like a blank canvass
ignore the ex...DO NOT SEND ANY TEXTS, RESPOND OR RETURN/ANSWER CALLS

 

[Fatal Jay]

I feel like sh1t right now...I know I did the right thing but I feel hollow inside. B1tch hasn't even replied to my text. I'm going to delete my fake profile off the site so I'm not tempted to see if she's online because every time I see her pic I feel like sh1t.

Could really use some advice on how to lift my mood and make myself feel better about this...can't go out with friends as my best mate is away on holiday and my other mates live miles away.

the ball is in your court,because you dumped her first

whatever you do between now and 3 months from now,do not respond to any of her calls or text messages, she will try to come back or text you with "hey" to see if she still have you, don't bite


with time all wounds will heal, this was your first love, but you handle it like a pro and you should feel proud

to get over this you need to rebound a girl

 

[Plutoman]

Honestly, the best route you could have done is gone a week or two and not talked to her AT ALL.

Not a text, not a word, not running into her, not anything. She'd go nuts wondering what happened.

Not only that, but you should have one out and tried to meet other women during that time span.

Seriously: work on your own life, be comfortable, and go out and meet people. It's hard, but push yourself. Read all the materials, I read a heck of a lot before I genuinely got started, but it paid off as I knew more of what I was doing when I pushed myself.

 

[Neon Owl]

So I've got that blondes number from POF and should be meeting her this friday
Feel like absolute sh1t today though, I'm going to go to the gym and tear it up to get some frustration out.

I lay in bed thinking about her in the morning it's doing my head in...hopefully banging someone else will help dissolve these ridiculous feelings...I can only hope right?

 

[pdx1138]

Great! For once someone took the proper advice...good deal!

And look what happened, a NEW girl messaged you interested...

Keep up the good work. DO NOT reply to the EX.

Rest assured it WILL take you weeks or months to get over her
but you will.

You have learned a HUGE and most important thing here
and will now be better prepared in the future should it happen again.