How to tame that feeling?

[Neon Owl]

First I'd like to thank the people on this site for turning my life around. A few months ago I was a total AFC and a virgin at 27 years old. Never had a gf before and only kissed a couple of girls properly in my entire life.
Now I'm 6 months into my first relationship but things are going downhill.

She is 42 yrs old and pretty sure she's going through her menopause as it's like she's constantly on her period. Every time I see her she ends up arguiing with me over the tiniest little thing.
In the first few months we were together she was so sweet with me and submissive but lately she's been taking me for granted and talking to me like sh1t. She is amazingly immature for her age.
I know I should probably just end it but seeing as she's the first woman I've had sex with and my first actual gf it's obviously something I'm very hesitant to do.
I'm worried that I won't find another woman who i feel this way about if I let her go...I love her to bits but the negative feelings I get from her now are making me depressed and making me feel like sh1t.
It makes me sick thinking of some other guy fvcking her if we split up tbh...how do I get rid of this feeling that I need her and I will never feel the same with someone else?
I'm currently doing no contact as the last time I went to her house she blew up at me and was being off after I txted her a couple days after.
I'm going to give it a few days and if she doesn't get in touch I'm going to end it for sure.

 

[betheman]

First I'd like to thank the people on this site for turning my life around. A few months ago I was a total AFC and a virgin at 27 years old. Never had a gf before and only kissed a couple of girls properly in my entire life.
Now I'm 6 months into my first relationship but things are going downhill.

She is 42 yrs old and pretty sure she's going through her menopause as it's like she's constantly on her period. Every time I see her she ends up arguiing with me over the tiniest little thing.
In the first few months we were together she was so sweet with me and submissive but lately she's been taking me for granted and talking to me like sh1t. She is amazingly immature for her age.
I know I should probably just end it but seeing as she's the first woman I've had sex with and my first actual gf it's obviously something I'm very hesitant to do.
I'm worried that I won't find another woman who i feel this way about if I let her go...I love her to bits but the negative feelings I get from her now are making me depressed and making me feel like sh1t.
It makes me sick thinking of some other guy fvcking her if we split up tbh...how do I get rid of this feeling that I need her and I will never feel the same with someone else?
I'm currently doing no contact as the last time I went to her house she blew up at me and was being off after I txted her a couple days after.
I'm going to give it a few days and if she doesn't get in touch I'm going to end it for sure.

where to start...?

ages...she is 15 years older than you, she will be 50 in 8 years, you will be 35..in the prime of your life while she will be in a physical tailspin!
she is b!tching at you for no good reason???? there is a good reason, or reasons, you just dont know what they are, she may se the age difference and be very insecure about it, this manifesting itself in the blow ups over nothing. either way, do you really want to put up with that cr@p? you dont need to nor should you have to.
she is your first...that rarely equates to the best. its understandable that you have such feelings for her but you have little or nothing to compare her too, I suspect you are embeleshing her 'qualities' to convince yourself there wil be no one better...there will be and a younger version, she has more to lose thatn you, gtfo there and get with other women, you got this one, get another

 

[Neon Owl]

where to start...?

ages...she is 15 years older than you, she will be 50 in 8 years, you will be 35..in the prime of your life while she will be in a physical tailspin!
she is b!tching at you for no good reason???? there is a good reason, or reasons, you just dont know what they are, she may se the age difference and be very insecure about it, this manifesting itself in the blow ups over nothing. either way, do you really want to put up with that cr@p? you dont need to nor should you have to.
she is your first...that rarely equates to the best. its understandable that you have such feelings for her but you have little or nothing to compare her too, I suspect you are embeleshing her 'qualities' to convince yourself there wil be no one better...there will be and a younger version, she has more to lose thatn you, gtfo there and get with other women, you got this one, get another

I'm fully aware of the age thing but I should've mentioned I'm attracted to older women and she is very good looking so I guess I feel I'm very lucky to have bagged someone I'm so attracted to making this all the more difficult.
I'm guessing the arguments are to do with the fact I've become a bit complacent over the months and lost a bit of the challenge I presented when we first got together.
I might've slipped back into afc mode a tad after I got comfortable in the relationship...something I'm determined not to let happen in the future!

I know you're right I managed to get her so I can get another higher quality woman. The other thing is that I'm at a place in my life where I barely see any of my friends due to where I live and I don't work so I never get out...seeing her at the weekends is basically all I have right now otherwise I'd just be staying in on my own every day. I'm sure that has an impact on the way I'm feeling at the moment. You could say I'm clinging onto the relationship as it's all I've got at the moment, sad I know :/

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Walking away from a woman who makes you feel like siht is a confidence booster. Be a man and don't let a woman either take you for granted or degrade you.

What probably happened is that you were so happy to get into a relationship and have regular sex that you basically "beta-backslided". You turned into a kiss-up, supplicating wuss that is trying to make her happy and she resents you for it.

She feels like you misrepresented yourself. You spit some alpha-charm game at her when you met her and you got her. Then, in her mind, your "real" self came to the fore while you've been date and that real self is a beta weakling.

You've probably told her that she is your first girlfriend and you lost your v-card to her. At your age, this tells her, "loser" and combined with your kissing-up tendencies, she's growing to hate you and hate herself for being duped by your initial presentation of self to her. That's why she's treating you this way.

You can maybe fix it, but I doubt it. Go to the Rational Male website and read everything there. Go to Chateau Hartiste and read that stuff. Also, Fix My Girl Problems is not too bad either.

All that said, I would advise that you continue no contact and seriously consider walking away. By staying with her, you rewarding bad behavior, demonstrating lower value, and you'll soon have your spirit crushed. Sack up and walk away. If you don't, I suspect, and she eventually dumps you (which she is for sure thinking about), your confidence will be so low that it will take another 27 years to find another girlfriend.

Good luck

 

[Neon Owl]

No way I haven't told her I was a virgin or that she is my first gf fvk that I learned the hard way with another girls early on that was a huge mistake.
I haven't totally "beta-backslided" I've always kept a bit of game running while with her but as I began to have feelings for her I started supplicating a bit more by doing things for her and putting her first when I knew she wasn't giving back what I was giving her. Basically I've started putting more effort into the relationship than she has. I've always continued the teasing, negs and not putting up with being told what to do for the most part....I just became a little softer I suppose.

 

[nroug7]

What probably happened is that you were so happy to get into a relationship and have regular sex that you basically "beta-backslided". You turned into a kiss-up, supplicating wuss that is trying to make her happy and she resents you for it.

Funny story actually, About that whole beta/Alpha thing, When I originally came to this website I was an Alpha in Beta's skin, I mean, I always wanted to be extremely nice to EVERYONE so they would be nice to me, but inside, I felt that raw untapped potential hammering away at me (Almost consuming me, like an intense flame) I've gradually learnt that it's perfectly fine to let that potential shine as part of my confidence. (In moderation of course)

Anyways, back to OP, dude, you losing your virginity to her was nothing special, understand? Hit clubs, restaraunts, whatever, if she shows you disrespect, you show her you are willing to walk, and not just in words, but in action.
You are sickened by the idea of some other guy fvcking her? The number one lesson to take of these forums is that some guy has probably already fvcked her before. She's looking for a mate to breed with and of course she will cycle partners often. Even humans are subject to instinct. I happen to work at a place where we have people who can seek legal aid, I can't give names etc but 80% of people requesting aid are requesting aid because of guess what? Divorce.
Reality is a bi7ch
life is a bi7ch
I'm an even tougher bastard who has MY goals prioritized.

 

[Purefilth]

Anyways, back to OP, dude, you losing your virginity to her was nothing special, understand? Hit clubs, restaraunts, whatever, if she shows you disrespect, you show her you are willing to walk, and not just in words, but in action.
You are sickened by the idea of some other guy fvcking her? The number one lesson to take of these forums is that some guy has probably already fvcked her before.

At 42? You should feel more sickened by the thought of all those who have com inside her before you were even walking.

Uk - age of consent is 16

26 years worth of d1ck in her - probably almost daily (for 3 weeks of the month anyway).

And you're worried that someone might get a poke at this old dried up 42 year old husk of a woman AFTER you?

SHE should be MORE worried that nobody else will want her ever again - In fact - Thats probably why she suckered you into a relationship with her in the first place!


I know the feeling you have, but I just had to put in perspective for you.


Be a man, pick your balls up out of her wrinkly purse, and walk away.

Add this one to the learning curve.

 

[AlphaGhost]

You have a severe case on oneitist.

And its normal considering your a late bloomer and this is your first sex/relationship. She has you all flucked in the head and she knows it cause she is wiser than you. She knows she has you whipped too.

You need to drop the **** out of her, or just have her straight fluck buddy status (older women are EXCELLENT for that). you shouldnt be trying to take your first so serious, go out with this confidence that you gained from her and get some new girls. If you try and make things work with this lady you are setting yourself up to be miserable dealing with an annoying women

 

[floydb25]

What I find most interesting is how all of this played out - and it's VERY common among hotties. Let me see if I got this right:

She ACTED sweet and submissive for the first few months - while she was trying to gain your interest / favor - until she became comfortable with her position / your interest, and you started becoming more attached / acting relationshipy towards her - then she revealed her TRUE COLORS of being a nagging, controlling, demanding ***** - and now you're feeling too attached to leave.

Is that right?

This is the *******'s game, and how they lure people in. They seem so innocent and sweet, and you're infatuated by their "hotness". Once they have you hooked - their true colors come out, and they end up controlling YOU. Ze ol' bait and switch tactic.

What you saw in the beginning was a CHARADE. It wasn't real; it's not coming back; she's not nice; she won't change. She's just another "hot" *****.

Ok, that's all. :moon:

 

[Neon Owl]

After she ditched our plans for her to come over to mine this weekend due to her friend's birthday party suddenly cropping up I just decided I'd take a peek on the dating site I met her on and wouldn't you know it she has logged in in the last 24hrs...I'm so fvcking angry right now.

I've made a fake profile and I'm going to entertain myself the next few days while I NC and see if I can get her chatting with this fake guy.
I knew something was going on she's been so distant from me these past couple of weeks.

If i confronted her about it now I'm sure she'd just tell me she was looking for my pics to show her mates again as she has said before. I've actually deleted my profile though so if she logs in again over the next few days I'll be able to tell what's going on for sure. I'm going to msg her and see if I can get some flirting going.

I feel sick right now...partially pissed off and partially disgusted at how much of a slut my gf actually is.

 

[lamobatsman]

After she ditched our plans for her to come over to mine this weekend due to her friend's birthday party suddenly cropping up I just decided I'd take a peek on the dating site I met her on and wouldn't you know it she has logged in in the last 24hrs...I'm so fvcking angry right now.

I've made a fake profile and I'm going to entertain myself the next few days while I NC and see if I can get her chatting with this fake guy.
I knew something was going on she's been so distant from me these past couple of weeks.

If i confronted her about it now I'm sure she'd just tell me she was looking for my pics to show her mates again as she has said before. I've actually deleted my profile though so if she logs in again over the next few days I'll be able to tell what's going on for sure. I'm going to msg her and see if I can get some flirting going.

I feel sick right now...partially pissed off and partially disgusted at how much of a slut my gf actually is.

Do not to this!!!!!!!! i did a fake profile like you for same reason to see if she wud chat to this fake guy cos she was getting distant!

She found out and that was it. we were basically over i guess.
Doing the fake profile i got nothing out of it. She did chat to him and added him on fb lol but nothing really serious i got from doing it. I ended making her mad and she basically deleted me from facebook etc.

WALK AWAY NOWWWWWWWWW!!! Its time to go!!!!! I did the same as you a few months ago. You go now first before she tells you to go.
She not interested! You can tell somethings up and you dont even trust her cos u wudnt even be thikning about doing a fake profile. Trust me i had the same issues.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOWWWWWWW!!! bYE BYE.

nO FAKE ACCOUNT. jUST OVER. If she finds out about the fake account she will use that as the reason she dumps you and make you feel guilty. Trust i know this. Please listen to me

 

[Neon Owl]

Do not to this!!!!!!!! i did a fake profile like you for same reason to see if she wud chat to this fake guy cos she was getting distant!

She found out and that was it. we were basically over i guess.
Doing the fake profile i got nothing out of it. She did chat to him and added him on fb lol but nothing really serious i got from doing it. I ended making her mad and she basically deleted me from facebook etc.

WALK AWAY NOWWWWWWWWW!!! Its time to go!!!!! I did the same as you a few months ago. You go now first before she tells you to go.
She not interested! You can tell somethings up and you dont even trust her cos u wudnt even be thikning about doing a fake profile. Trust me i had the same issues.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOWWWWWWW!!! bYE BYE.

nO FAKE ACCOUNT. jUST OVER. If she finds out about the fake account she will use that as the reason she dumps you and make you feel guilty. Trust i know this. Please listen to me

You may be right bud. Thing is even after all this bullsh1t I still sort of want to fix things with her and get everything back to like it used to be when we were all over eachother and happy. I wish someone could give me a big slap round the face to knock some sense into me!

I'll send her a text tomorrow telling her it's over and that I'm going to find someone who will appreciate me and not treat me like a mug.

Do you think it's worth me even asking why she was looking on the dating site before I finish the relationship?

 

[Purefilth]

No. Just walk away with as little words as possible. Buddy, don't even waste your breath calling her out - just go.

There's plenty of better girls our there, you just gotta filter out the bad like this.

 

[lamobatsman]

You may be right bud. Thing is even after all this bullsh1t I still sort of want to fix things with her and get everything back to like it used to be when we were all over eachother and happy. I wish someone could give me a big slap round the face to knock some sense into me!

I'll send her a text tomorrow telling her it's over and that I'm going to find someone who will appreciate me and not treat me like a mug.

Do you think it's worth me even asking why she was looking on the dating site before I finish the relationship?

Listen- Dont text her its over. Thats being nice and she will manipulate her way back into ur life and make u feel like crap again. She doesnt even deserve a text from u saying its over. Where is her text to explaining to you whats going on with you guys and why shes distant?!! there isnt!!
Leave. dont ask any questions. You are leaving cos shes treating you like crap! Forget why she went on the dating website. If i cud slap u i wud. My mates tried that with me and i not listen still. Use my experience to tell you how it ended. I didnt leave and i ended up chasing her and trying to fix it and she werent interested and now has moved on and found another guy.

You leave and find other girls. Just fizzle out contact and say your busy if u have to.
Girls who deserve an explanantion are the ones who have treated u well

Get it?

 

[Neon Owl]

Now I'm thinking maybe i should see her one last time, fvck her then in the morning tell her it's over because I can't trust her.
It means I get to end it in person rather than over the phone...plus I get to have sex one last time lol

 

[floydb25]

I regret to inform you that you're ****ed. But this situation is common, and repeated constantly on here. This is why you don't become infatuated, think with your emotions, act relationshipy too soon, believe or assume anything - and DO keep your guard up, pay attention to everything, keep the game where it's supposed to be (for your own sake and safety), etc.

Never be too attached to leave too soon, assume things are smooth sailin' and become too comfortable, give them the benefit of the doubt, or not see things for how they really are. Lesson learned.

Everything you are seeing right now is the real her. Her interest declined (assuming she ever had any), yours increased, she knows this, and now she's treating you like ****. She was also likely playing you all along. Things will never go back to "how they were" - because THEY WERE NEVER REAL. This is how she treats people once she "has" them, and/or her interest declines. As well as playing the field, and not caring about other people in general. AKA, this is the real her. These TRUE COLORS of hers would have revealed themselves eventually, and you'd be going through the same ****, either way.

All that happened is, you got played. A genuinely decent / sweet girl would NOT be doing these things, or acting this way, OR making you feel this way. Only a slut / player / ***** who put on an act of being decent / sweet would. She only cares about herself, and treats people like **** - because she's a *****.

Always pay especially close attention to the sweet, charming, and seemingly "perfect" hotties. They have this **** down, and are usually HUGE players who hide their true colors in the beginning, and ***** around like you wouldn't believe. They are also big-time *****es.

Always remember that EVERYONE puts on an act in the very beginning. Players are especially focused on the infatuation period, and do this **** with everyone ON PURPOSE. It's their whole game. They KNOW people are focused on their looks, have their head in clouds, and are easily deceived. ****'s real.

Also remember that, if it seems too good to be true - it usually is.

 

[lamobatsman]

You aint listenining and i wont say it again. Pure filth has said the same thing. Why she even deserve for you to end it with her in person- look at hoe nice you are to her!1 she dont deserve that!! Leave and say nothing.

CASE CLOSED. YOU BETTER LISTEN TO THE ADVIC EON HERE!!

 

[pdx1138]

Dude! No! It won't turn out the way you think. Trust us, we've been there too!

You will "GET HER BACK BETTER" by dropping off the face of the earth
and NEVER talking to her again.

It's really hard to do, I know that myself, but listen to what we are advising here.

FORM THE COURAGE TO WALK AWAY!!

 

[Neon Owl]

I know you guys are right. I know what i need to do but it's so fvcking hard :/
I just need to try and concentrate on all the bad things about the relationship and her which tbh isn't difficult. It's harder to think of something I'm actually going to miss about her other than the sex and the rare times she would be sweet with me.
I know this sounds uber gay but one of the things I'll miss most is going to sleep with her cuddled up to me with her head on my chest...ffs I need to get a grip.

Just been looking on POF and none of the girls stand out to me...please tell me I won't always be comparing my future gfs with my first because that will drive me crazy. I look at all their faces and no matter how pretty they are I don't feel anything...is this normal? Will this pass with time?

 

[Fatal Jay]

After she ditched our plans for her to come over to mine this weekend due to her friend's birthday party suddenly cropping up I just decided I'd take a peek on the dating site I met her on and wouldn't you know it she has logged in in the last 24hrs...I'm so fvcking angry right now.

I've made a fake profile and I'm going to entertain myself the next few days while I NC and see if I can get her chatting with this fake guy.
I knew something was going on she's been so distant from me these past couple of weeks.

If i confronted her about it now I'm sure she'd just tell me she was looking for my pics to show her mates again as she has said before. I've actually deleted my profile though so if she logs in again over the next few days I'll be able to tell what's going on for sure. I'm going to msg her and see if I can get some flirting going.

I feel sick right now...partially pissed off and partially disgusted at how much of a slut my gf actually is.

dude your sad, you are very anti dj and should be ashamed of your damn self

you are wasting your time and life

she is going to dump you,and watch how you beg for her to not leave you, and how much you love her

while she is f@cking another guy, and they are laughing at you on the phone

you need to get some f@cking balls and dump this girl,and move on

but judging by your post you don't think your good enough, you will put up with her ish just because you got low self esteem in yourelf and think you cant find another woman how sad

you should be banned from this forum