How to stop using alcohol as a crutch at parties?

[bensimsJYG]

I'm in college and usually get drunk when I go out to parties (at least twice a week). When I do drink, I have no problem opening up anyone, having a great time, and always end up with a girl at the end of the night. However, when I don't drink, I always feel like my social interactions don't go over as well and I have a much lower success rate with women. Now I'm starting to realize that I've been using alcohol as a crutch, and I want to overcome this so I can have the same success sober. Anyone have any experience with this?

 

[logicallefty]

I've dealt with this to some degree. I used to always feel like I had to drink in any social situation that others were drinking in, and even some where no one else was. That was because the alcohol "took the edge off" and gave me more confidence to say and act like I really wanted without caring what other people thought of me and my behavior. Without the alcohol I would be more reserved in my mannerisms because I actually cared what other folks thought about me at the time.

How I have overcame this was developing fully with my self confidence. I have reached the point where my confidence is so solid that I am going to be who I want to be and if people don't like it then that's their problem, not mine. I know I am a decent person and fun to be around and for the few who don't think that then their loss. It took me until I was almost 40 to full get here, even though I was working torwards it for many many years before.

Just this past Friday night I went to a party that had about 20 people. Most ended up being guys which was ok, I wasn't there for poon. I was the only one not drinking alcohol and I still was what some might call "the life of the party". Even had guy saying he wanted to talk to me another time and learn some stuff about women because the host of the party, a female, told him I was the guy to talk to about women. So in summary of your issue, get to the point where you really and genuinely like yourself and could give zero sh|ts what others thought, and the alcohol will become less and less of a requirement for you to go out and have a good time.

Another one I will throw in to the side which may not even work for everyone; with me I can get fairly decent buzz if I drink a bunch of Diet Coke, like 4-5 cans. Not sure why this is, but if you just want the buzz give it a try.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Have you ever went into a bar completely sober and watched everyone else drink? It's kinda funny because they get stupider and stupider as the night goes on, and this includes you when your drinking.

I guess it helps though because everyone is doing it and if you don't you might obcess instead of "not giving a $hit".

 

[Harry Wilmington]

It takes practice. I was fortunate because I actually made myself wait until I was 21 to start drinking. That gave me YEARS of having to turn down alcohol at parties yet STILL end up making more of an impression than the other guys there that were drinking. Here's what I found helps:

1. BE FUNNY.

Like, learn how to tell stories in a funny way, be sarcastic in a way that draws people in, and talk to girls about funny stuff.

2. LEARN TO DANCE.

I never had to drink to have a good time because I'd always get "buzzed" off good music. And - thanks to YEARS of watching Michael Jackson videos - I had a pretty good dance routine, which was a mixture of the typical "dry hump" dancing and ACTUAL dance moves. To this day, I can go to a club and start dancing and have a flock of people cheering me on - including WOMEN who end up wanting to dance with me.

3. COME UP WITH AN AWESOME EXCUSE AS TO WHY YOU'RE NOT DRINKING.

If you're not drinking like everyone else, the questions WILL come. BUT, if you have an awesome excuse, you can turn it into something that helps you get women. For me, I used to do clinical trials in exchange for thousands of dollars. One of the stipulations is that you can't drink alcohol between the time you get accepted and the time you get into the lab for the trial. So, during these times, if women came up to me and asked me why I wasn't drinking, I'd tell them it was because of a trial I was going to do soon. Next thing I know, they're asking me questions, giving me their number and telling me to contact them when I get out the hospital.

Obviously, you may not be doing clinical trials, but it doesn't really matter - women just LOVE hearing stories that are different from everyone else's. If you can come up with a good story that explains why you're not drinking, while at the same time positioning you as someone that's different from the rest, you'll have them eating out of your hand.

Hope this helps!

 

[parkthebus]

I haven't but as with a lot of people who want others opinions on something they desire to do themselves, there's nothing complicated in it or any great tips you can get. Just gotta go to a party, not drink, and learn again.

 

[Sprayarc]

Start running a lot. I feel like I'm stoned after I run.

 

[Reykhel]

It takes practice. I was fortunate because I actually made myself wait until I was 21 to start drinking. That gave me YEARS of having to turn down alcohol at parties yet STILL end up making more of an impression than the other guys there that were drinking. Here's what I found helps:

1. BE FUNNY.

Like, learn how to tell stories in a funny way, be sarcastic in a way that draws people in, and talk to girls about funny stuff.

2. LEARN TO DANCE.

I never had to drink to have a good time because I'd always get "buzzed" off good music. And - thanks to YEARS of watching Michael Jackson videos - I had a pretty good dance routine, which was a mixture of the typical "dry hump" dancing and ACTUAL dance moves. To this day, I can go to a club and start dancing and have a flock of people cheering me on - including WOMEN who end up wanting to dance with me.

3. COME UP WITH AN AWESOME EXCUSE AS TO WHY YOU'RE NOT DRINKING.

If you're not drinking like everyone else, the questions WILL come. BUT, if you have an awesome excuse, you can turn it into something that helps you get women. For me, I used to do clinical trials in exchange for thousands of dollars. One of the stipulations is that you can't drink alcohol between the time you get accepted and the time you get into the lab for the trial. So, during these times, if women came up to me and asked me why I wasn't drinking, I'd tell them it was because of a trial I was going to do soon. Next thing I know, they're asking me questions, giving me their number and telling me to contact them when I get out the hospital.

Obviously, you may not be doing clinical trials, but it doesn't really matter - women just LOVE hearing stories that are different from everyone else's. If you can come up with a good story that explains why you're not drinking, while at the same time positioning you as someone that's different from the rest, you'll have them eating out of your hand.

Hope this helps!

I have to respecfully disagree with this guy's response.

Whjy? Because this is an inner game issue and if I need to make an excuse for my behaviour to any human being then I have a big problem. I don't owe anybody an explanation. Nobody. Watch this "why aren't you drinking?" "because I don't want to" then change the subject. That's frame control for me. My time on this planet is short, I hold my own counsel. Be strong and have a "**** you I'm the man" attitude and you won't go fvcking wrong.

By the way, gaming while sober......do it, stick with it and watch a sublime confidence come your way. a confidence that you never could have imagined. This life is about you, make no excuses to anyone.

 

[stefpdt]

I have to respecfully disagree with this guy's response.

Whjy? Because this is an inner game issue and if I need to make an excuse for my behaviour to any human being then I have a big problem. I don't owe anybody an explanation. Nobody. Watch this "why aren't you drinking?" "because I don't want to" then change the subject. That's frame control for me. My time on this planet is short, I hold my own counsel. Be strong and have a "**** you I'm the man" attitude and you won't go fvcking wrong.

By the way, gaming while sober......do it, stick with it and watch a sublime confidence come your way. a confidence that you never could have imagined. This life is about you, make no excuses to anyone.

Registered for this forum after reading this comment. How did I just now find out about this place? You guys are at a high level of a game and I love that.

But yeah, this guy has the right mindset. We're alive for such a ****ing minuscule period of time - no need to entertain anyone's silly questions unless you want to.