How to stop my girlfriend's flirtatious behavior?

[Lotus Effect]

^^^
THIS

I usually disagree with rascal's opinion! But his advice is spot on, and by far the best advice gave on this thread!

As I've said, I've seen sh*t like this before. By the end of my relationship, my ex was taking and posting several photos with her "best friend", and her girl friends were all to "Aww, how lovely" and "Cute couple s2".

3 weeks later I found out she was cheating on me, with another dude!

Needless to say that I dumped her scumbag ass for the b*tch she is, only to watch the "best friend", the one from the photos, become the boyfriend!

Serioulsy mate, don't underestimate the power that a "male friendship" has on the head of your GF in order to f*ck everything up!

2. Stick around with her hoping for a rosy scenario. Watching her text another dude and hang out with him. Banging him and then dumping you.

+1 Rep for you rascal!

Too bad I cannot give Reputation to the same post twice.

 

[EJay]

Sit down with her, tell her you're concerned about this. If she says it's nothing then ask her how she would feel if you did it. If she says she wouldn't mind then stick to your guns and say it makes you uncomfortable. If she refuses to back down then it's a choice of if this is something you can live with or something you can't.
If you can't then you may want to consider finding some sort of middle ground. If not then you should probably move on.

 

[Slash Dolo]

Talking it out seemed to be the best option. I was stern, but not angry or forceful, and got my point across that this was bull****. She felt bad, apologized, and told me how it wouldn't happen again. It was as if she wanted me to take charge and fix this as Atom Smasher alluded to up there. Appreciate the help, gents.

 

[EJay]

Talking it out seemed to be the best option. I was stern, but not angry or forceful, and got my point across that this was bull****. She felt bad, apologized, and told me how it wouldn't happen again. It was as if she wanted me to take charge and fix this as Atom Smasher alluded to up there. Appreciate the help, gents.

Yeauh, buddy!

 

[rascal99v]

Talking it out seemed to be the best option. I was stern, but not angry or forceful, and got my point across that this was bull****. She felt bad, apologized, and told me how it wouldn't happen again. It was as if she wanted me to take charge and fix this as Atom Smasher alluded to up there. Appreciate the help, gents.

Dude, chicks can tell you anything. That doesn't mean it's true. She can still be talking to this guy while she's hiding it from you. You should still be aware and not take anything for granted. If she means what she says, she will remove the pictures on her own and ignore the guy. Is she going to do that? If not, then nothing has changed. She will just conceal it from you and continue on as before.

My friend confronted his girlfriend about a friend she was texting. She swore up and down that he meant nothing to her and was just a friend. Turns out she lied and spent the weekend with the guy when she said she was away with her friends. She posted the pictures of their trip on some online account.

I got numbers from girls who had boyfriends. The chicks just hid it from their boyfriends after they were confronted about it. Chicks usually don't cut men out of their lives that they have interest in. So, don't be satisfied and think she is telling you the truth. Watch what she does and see if her words measure up. Otherwise, you are going to get hurt when you find out she lied to you.

 

[bukowski_merit]

You guys are just going to have to let him learn from experience. It's the most convincing teacher there is.

 

[Lotus Effect]

You guys are just going to have to let him learn from experience. It's the most convincing teacher there is.

Signature's material!! A round of applause, since I can't Rep you again mate!

Nothing teaches best than the cold hard truth, and the bitterness that follows it!

 

[Slash Dolo]

Dude, chicks can tell you anything. That doesn't mean it's true. She can still be talking to this guy while she's hiding it from you. You should still be aware and not take anything for granted. If she means what she says, she will remove the pictures on her own and ignore the guy. Is she going to do that? If not, then nothing has changed. She will just conceal it from you and continue on as before.

My friend confronted his girlfriend about a friend she was texting. She swore up and down that he meant nothing to her and was just a friend. Turns out she lied and spent the weekend with the guy when she said she was away with her friends. She posted the pictures of their trip on some online account.

I got numbers from girls who had boyfriends. The chicks just hid it from their boyfriends after they were confronted about it. Chicks usually don't cut men out of their lives that they have interest in. So, don't be satisfied and think she is telling you the truth. Watch what she does and see if her words measure up. Otherwise, you are going to get hurt when you find out she lied to you.

She already did, so yeah.

Not trying to sound like a downer to some of you guys' giving advice, but stop being so negative, lol. You all sound like bitter college kids who have gotten hurt by countless "*****es" in high school and feel the need to rant about how every girl will **** you over or something. This dude is a beta and is no threat. Women are not attracted to betas. Seriously, they aren't, which is why I let this go as long as I did. This was what they call a **** test, and I passed thanks to the more positive posters' advice.

If for some reason I am in the wrong here, as I said, I have no trouble getting other women, so all will be well no matter the outcome.

 

[skinnyguy]

What I have never understood is why women like betas giving them attention. If a fat girl was constantly trying to hang out with me, not only would it not do anything for me, but I would try to AVOID it like the plague.

I guess women need constant validation and we don't. I'd rather be sitting around in my living room watching Sportscenter than having a group of HB 4's following me around. But hey I guess that's just me.

 

[Slash Dolo]

What I have never understood is why women like betas giving them attention. If a fat girl was constantly trying to hang out with me, not only would it not do anything for me, but I would try to AVOID it like the plague.

I guess women need constant validation and we don't. I'd rather be sitting around in my living room watching Sportscenter than having a group of HB 4's following me around. But hey I guess that's just me.

Pretty much in every relationship I've ever had there is always a beta that a girl is friends with, meaning free attention 24/7. The attention from beta guys is akin to having a servant or butler I'd guess. It's pretty cool, because it means I don't have to always be there supplying said attention too. I enjoy them honestly, except for this instance where it got out of hand.

 

[asa_don]

I'm betting this is a troll.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Not trying to sound like a downer to some of you guys' giving advice, but stop being so negative, lol. You all sound like bitter college kids who have gotten hurt by countless "*****es" in high school and feel the need to rant about how every girl will **** you over or something.

Not every girl; just the girl you describe in your story.

You could realistically sit down with a mentally stable woman and have a talk like this with her. And it could work. The problem is – a mentally stable woman would not be doing this in the first place.

To put it simply: If she was as quality as you think she is - she never would have been doing this.

If you were as alpha as you think you are – she never would have been doing this.

This dude is a beta and is no threat. Women are not attracted to betas. Seriously, they aren't

Let’s all just stop posting and sticky this.

He has it all figured out for us!

Most… convincing… argument… ever….

Which is why I let this go as long as I did. This was what they call a **** test, and I passed thanks to the more positive posters' advice.

If for some reason I am in the wrong here, as I said, I have no trouble getting other women, so all will be well no matter the outcome.

Thanks for the education professor…. I had no idea what a sh!t test was; or that a sh!t test can be something that lasts a year …. Or that a sh!t test can be something that pretty every girl you’ve dated has done to you…. Yeah that's defintely what a sh!t test is... Not at all a problem with your game and female selection process.

And you’re right – sitting down a girl to talk to her about your problems is exactly what passing a sh!t test looks like. … :crackup:

You have to be trolling here.

 

[Slash Dolo]

I'm sorry you have had such bad experiences with women that you feel this way. I'll tell you what, if you end up being right, I'll come back here and admit you were, just so your feelings aren't so hurt. But I'm telling you right now, without going into too much detail, I handled it.

Run along now and post elsewhere, this problem is solved. I hear Tumblr is pretty cool for writing down your thoughts.

 

[zekko]

It's up to you as a man to set boundaries and enforce them. Any decent woman actually craves this. Many times in my life I've had girlfriends say out of the blue, "Atom, I love the way you set boundaries for us." That has always surprised it, and I have actually heard it several times from different girls.

The best case scenario is setting boundaries early, but absent that, the best thing to do is to address things head-on. I absolutely don't agree with the common mindset of it being "beta" to call a girl out on her behavior.

In cases like this, I do the hand-hold, and "Come here and sit with me... we need to talk". This has the added benefit of introducing mild dread, a useful thing. God knows they pull this "Can we talk" thing on us all the time. Turn-about is fair play and something we should ALWAYS be doing (giving them their own medicine).

I would then tell her what's on my mind and that It's NOT ok with me, and that there should be boundaries that we both adhere to in a healthy relationship.

Many times, even if she has an initial hissy-fit, she will come around and be VERY thankful that you manned up and set boundaries for her. If she doesn't, then she was NOT long-term material.

I agree with this entirely. A lot of guys here say don't call her out on her behavior, they'll think you're insecure - instead, just go flirt with other girls. The problem I have with this is that it doesn't really address the bad behavior. I think men should be role models for good behavior, not wallowing in the filth along with the women. Don't drop down to her level. Model good behavior, set the boundaries, and if she doesn't like it, she's not suitable long term material.

Just to clarify, I don't think there's anything wrong with flirting, even if you are in an exclusive relationship. I just think there are certain limits, or boundaries (as Smasher says), that shouldn't be passed - IF you are in an exclusive relationship.

 

[Slash Dolo]

I agree with this entirely. A lot of guys here say don't call her out on her behavior, they'll think you're insecure - instead, just go flirt with other girls. The problem I have with this is that it doesn't really address the bad behavior. I think men should be role models for good behavior, not wallowing in the filth along with the women. Don't drop down to her level. Model good behavior, set the boundaries, and if she doesn't like it, she's not suitable long term material.

Just to clarify, I don't think there's anything wrong with flirting, even if you are in an exclusive relationship. I just think there are certain limits, or boundaries (as Smasher says), that shouldn't be passed - IF you are in an exclusive relationship.

Exactly. I've always been the type to just do the same things in retaliation, which usually got them to stop, but eventually they'd move on to doing something else that wasn't acceptable. Atom and some others had great advice and it was something I'd never really done; talk it out and set some boundaries.

She was honest and told me that she wanted more attention from me but was worried about coming off as clingy (since I've been very vocal about my distaste for clingy exes to her) so she befriended this guy who was obviously head over heels for her for the attention. The underlying problem was brought to the surface and alleviated. Out of a year relationship, this has seriously been the only misstep, but according to some of these self-proclaimed masters on here, she's a dirty slut that will leave me high and dry for an obsessed beta guy. It's never happened before in my previous dozen LTRs, and it isn't gonna happen now, especially now that this problem is nipped in the bud.

I appreciate the more down to earth advice though gents. Much thanks.

 

[SgtSplacker]

This can be diffused so easily...

Just pull your female aside and talk to her about the type of relationship she wants to have. If she wants to have the type of relationship where you can also take out girls and exchange love type messages then that's ok. As long as everything is fair all is good.

In the end who cares? You either end up with a better relationship or with the ability to cheat with impunity.

And no matter what she loses because when women go out and bang someone they are viewed as skanks, when men do it they gain value. You can pay your own way where as a typical female is hoping for some dude to buy her drinks. Women go out thinking the dude she's with is actually her "friend" when a dude goes out it's to get laid. So it's a winning thing for you no matter what, you just can't be so much a beta to not grasp the straws you have been given.

 

[asa_don]

You have to be trolling here.

of course he is, read his OP and rebuttal comments. you can tell by the words he uses.

Not every girl; just the girl you describe in your story.

normal people come online looking for answers. trolls already have the answers to their fake stories as it develops. funny how he was looking for help but has it all figured out and his problem is solved . it doesn't work that way in real life situations. just another person to add to my ignore list.

Run along now and post elsewhere, this problem is solved. I hear Tumblr is pretty cool for writing down your thoughts.

words of a troll. they make up stories to appear more knowledgable and insult the people in the forum while they're at it.