How to stop being so serious

[Rubato]

Guys, I've always been a serious guy. I know that about myself. My friends know it about me. The women in my life know it about me.

I don't want to be so freakin serious. But I don't know what to do about it.

Pook writes about that at length, specifically suggesting we act like little boys. I even did what he suggested and got out my dad's old 8mm video tapes of myself as a child. I was a serious child. My parents corraborate this.

I have always been a serious guy.

And that's not something that I think is necessarily a problem, but I want to learn how to access the childlike portion of myself that I never feel like I did. I was such an insecure thing growing up that I never knew how to relate to my peers and is probably why I never had a lot of friends. In 3rd grade, I was reading about DNA while everyone else was on the playground playing foursquare and other games.

I honestly don't think I was ever a kid. Even at Christmas as a child, the video tapes show me as a very serious 3 year old (and above).

What can I do to access that stuff because I feel like it's really holding me back. Back to Pook's example, if I saw some chick in the grocery store and threw some bread at her like a little kid, and wanted to run her around and show her the deals, there's no way I could be congruent with that because I've never been that way. I've taken some time to self evaluate and I don't necessarily dislike being serious, but I dislike the extent to which I am. I'm only 24 years old and am already an overly negative tired and anxious person. I'm too young for this!

How do I discover for myself Pook's fountain of youth?

 

[Purple]

Go out and do the childlike things you never did. Take a few tokes and watch cartoons. Play practical jokes on people. Childhood activities are good inspiration for how to have fun with a girl. I like to spontaneously start a game of tag, or playfight on dates. You don't have to release your inner child in a single day, it helps to plan a few activities a week to try the things you missed out on. Eventually you'll become comfortable with not being serious all the time, and start enjoying life in general a lot more.

If it's snowing in your area, go tobogganing on a garbage bag this week. If not, go to a playground, and actually play there. Run around the jungle gym and free yourself.

 

[backseatjuan]

I don't recommend you go play with kids on a play ground!

I had same problem, and got over it by having sex. At first I'd come to prostitutes and be serious and tight, but then I loosened up, and became comfortable with myself naked in front of them. (I have a short ****) I've had pros, hook ups, and a gf, and in total nailed 14 people, 11 of them in past 4 months. It got me out of my seriousness and tightness.

 

[Rubato]

I don't know that doing drugs is going to help. I have watched cartoons, but I watched them seriously. I do play practical jokes on people, and that is probably when I'm most childlike. I may need to think about what specifically puts me in that state.

I know childhood activities are great ways to have fun with a girl.

But it has to be legitimate.

I would go to a playground, but the last time I went to one it was at night to bang a chick, not to play. I'm afraid that if I showed up at a playground to play during the DAY the way society is people might misinterpret my intentions.

Does anyone have anything more similar to a specific plan of action?

 

[ilikecharlene]

Develop a sense of humour, and be more playful. People with senses of humour literally think funny, in that they have consistently funny thoughts/feelings.

 

[Aaron B]

Develop a sense of humour, and be more playful. People with senses of humour literally think funny, in that they have consistently funny thoughts/feelings.

how does one become funny?

 

[IamJosan]

Think of the time you were not serious. Remember those times and try to have more of them.

 

[lockout]

do you have humility or is everything so serious?

 

[sighsigh]

You sound a lot like me, OP.

IMO you are afraid of loosening up because you know that everyone sees you as being a very serious person, and that you'll look stupid if you were to suddenly do something out of character (and you honestly would look stupid).

The way to get around it is to realise the girl knows absolutely nothing about you. They don't see you as a very serious person. They see you as a blank slate. So you can't possibly look stupid to them if you loosen up.

And you DO have to loosen up. Girls HATE seriousness (i.e. boringness). But you're only doing it for the sake of getting the girl. Not for any reason involving the intrinsic worth of being laid-back. Being serious on its own is fine.

(Also, if you have trouble getting started, have a few drinks first).

 

[Aaron B]

You sound a lot like me, OP.

IMO you are afraid of loosening up because you know that everyone sees you as being a very serious person, and that you'll look stupid if you were to suddenly do something out of character (and you honestly would look stupid).

The way to get around it is to realise the girl knows absolutely nothing about you. They don't see you as a very serious person. They see you as a blank slate. So you can't possibly look stupid to them if you loosen up.

And you DO have to loosen up. Girls HATE seriousness (i.e. boringness). But you're only doing it for the sake of getting the girl. Not for any reason involving the intrinsic worth of being laid-back. Being serious on its own is fine.

(Also, if you have trouble getting started, have a few drinks first).

excellent post :rockon:

 

[Chamber36]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6AVARyWwsI&feature=player_embedded# watch that

 

[MisterD]

well you don't want to become completely funny/silly/lighthearted...thats a nice way to stamp your ticket to friendville. you can be her little chuckle buddy

seriousness can be extremely sexy if used properly and at the right time...gives you a mysterious edge

but most people in here already gave you pointers on how to loosen up. just know everything should be done in moderation. know when to be funny. its a timing issue more than anything

 

[ilikecharlene]

how does one become funny?

Develop a more whimsical view of life. Some people are born funny, but being jovial can be developed to some extent. IMO, whether born or learnt, it stems from thinking funny.

 

[Mark1234]

All good advice, my question is how do you become more serious? I can't seem to take things that seriously When I try to be more serious it doesn't feel natural at all and I laugh about it later.