How to stop being a pushover?

[cali51]

I"m 27 years old and one thing I've learned from self improvement these last 7 months is that I'm a huge pushover. I have trouble saying "no" and I'm scared to lead. I avoid confrontations etc.

I've been like this my whole life and I know it's going to take time to change, but I need to start now.

Can somebody give me suggestions on how to improve on this?

 

[Vice]

Take a martial arts class. That'll fix you right up.

Start tomorrow. No excuses.

 

[Mr Nigm@]

When you are confronted with any issue, think about what outcome is better for you as a person. I used to be such a f*cking "nice" guy. Not just to girls either but to everyone. For example, I would be at work and a manager would ask me to stay over. I wouldn't want and was probably tired but because I didn't want to let them down or make them feel angry I would say "Sure, no problem". I was probably smiling but I was frustrated inside. My friends even knew what a "nice guy" I was and took full advantage of it. They would make me buy them drinks and stuff and do favors for them. I'd drive them somewhere and they'd offer to pay for it but I'd say something like "Oh, no worries. It's fine."

It actually took until the end of my AFC relationship to realize that I was always putting other people ahead of myself. I started learning to say "NO" when the request didn't please or cater to me. I started learning to do things not because I was expecting a reward or avoiding a confrontation but because I wanted to actually do it.

Now when someone asks me for a favor and I don't feel like doing it, I simply say no and the amount of satisfaction I get from that simple word alone can't be explained.

It translates over to relationships and dealings with girls because you will have no problem saying no to a brat. It doesn't mean you should be a d*ckhead to women but be assertive and when you don't feel comfortable with a situation or request from a woman, say your mind and don't be afraid to walk away. Period.

 

[The LadyKiller]

1.) Stick to your morals and values, no matter what. If you feel strongly about these, it will show when talking to others. It provides you an identity.

2.) If you don't go to the gym, work out or get involved in a sport. Vice brings up martial arts. That's one example, but the point is to develop confidence physically.

3.) Surround yourself with a few good, trustworthy friends. They'll have your back and give you support.

Finally, 4.) Don't settle. Go for what you want and believe in yourself. I know it's cliche, but it rings true.

 

[IndeedSir]

Just start saying no. Start doing things you want to do. Help people who have earned your help. Most of my friends very rarely ask me for favors so when they do, I know it's a legitimate help. Don't use people, don't let people use you.

The trick to leading is not getting too invested in a girl. If you're too invested, you start worrying about your decisions. **** that, lead. If she's into you she will follow or will tell you when she doesn't want to do something. I ask a girl out to do something I want to do. They will tell you if they want to do something else either then or in normal conversation they'll drop a hint. "X sounds like fun.". Cool, let's go together. Easy.