How to stay detached?

[firstbornunicorn]

I'm seeing this girl and she has said she's not looking for anything long term. She's 22 and has a lot to explore, including herself, so I get it. But right now we're exclusive (I brought it up, didn't want to share her and we're ofc going raw so it's gross to share, both ways).

I'm still out and about and meeting other women, some of them I'd like to date, but I'm exclusive with the other one, so I don't want to get physical with them. But I do have a date next week with an absolute babe that is in fact looking for something long term. (could be a wasted opportunity).

Ngl, it's definitely more than just sex. I feel that I could easily get too attached. How do I prevent this? We don't always spend nights together after having sex, either she goes to her place or I come to mine. But we have also spent a few nights without having sex at all and it's also nice to connect in other ways.

She also parties quite a lot, and it's how she normally meets guys. But for now she gives me a call when she's leaving the clubs and comes over or I go to her if I'm closer.

We met camping in the forest.

tl;dr; how to stay detached in this case? Or should I just enjoy the whole gamut of experience here and simply get back on the horse when it inevitably ends?

 

[Stuffnu]

She‘s not looking for anything long term but you’re withholding opportunities for being exclusive?
With respect, slap yourself. If you’re 28, have fun and ”F” anything that moves.
You have plenty of time for attachments down the road.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

She‘s not looking for anything long term but you’re withholding opportunities for being exclusive?
With respect, slap yourself. If you’re 28, have fun and ”F” anything that moves.
You have plenty of time for attachments down the road.

Fair point. But I do what I say I'll do. I wanna keep it going a bit longer and see how it develops. But in the meantime I can go on dates with no expectations, and those tend to perform better.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I'm seeing this girl and she has said she's not looking for anything long term. She's 22 and has a lot to explore, including herself, so I get it. But right now we're exclusive (I brought it up, didn't want to share her and we're ofc going raw so it's gross to share, both ways).

I'm still out and about and meeting other women, some of them I'd like to date, but I'm exclusive with the other one, so I don't want to get physical with them. But I do have a date next week with an absolute babe that is in fact looking for something long term. (could be a wasted opportunity).

Ngl, it's definitely more than just sex. I feel that I could easily get too attached. How do I prevent this? We don't always spend nights together after having sex, either she goes to her place or I come to mine. But we have also spent a few nights without having sex at all and it's also nice to connect in other ways.

She also parties quite a lot, and it's how she normally meets guys. But for now she gives me a call when she's leaving the clubs and comes over or I go to her if I'm closer.

We met camping in the forest.

tl;dr; how to stay detached in this case? Or should I just enjoy the whole gamut of experience here and simply get back on the horse when it inevitably ends?

Easy. Spin plates as much as you can.

She told you she does not want to commit (and you shouldn't either tbh). But you seem to have other options. At some point, this girl will fade away. It is a matter of time. Enjoy yourself while it last and keep your options open.

At the ne of the day, these situations are tricky. There is no really right or wrong or way we can 100% predict what will happen. But the truth is, you have to keep your options open and be abundant.

Modern Man Advice

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Easy. Spin plates as much as you can.

She told you she does not want to commit (and you shouldn't either tbh). But you seem to have other options. At some point, this girl will fade away. It is a matter of time. Enjoy yourself while it last and keep your options open.

At the ne of the day, these situations are tricky. There is no really right or wrong or way we can 100% predict what will happen. But the truth is, you have to keep your options open and be abundant.

Modern Man Advice

Spin lates non sexually?

I 100% want to commit soon to the right person because in 5-7 years I'll be a very rich dude and want to find a genuine one now that likes me for me.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Spin lates non sexually?

I 100% want to commit soon to the right person because in 5-7 years I'll be a very rich dude and want to find a genuine one now that likes me for me.

If I am being honest, spin plates sexually. You are missing out. Men your age should not be exclusive to a single woman unless:

1) That is truly what you want
2) She is also exclusive and hope she is honest about it
3) She actually wants to commit at some point

This girl simply does not seem to be aligned with you as far as the future goes. She still needs time to have fun, and she clearly is. She is def in her prime SMV so it'd be great to have her commit to you, but until then you are at risk of this being temporary and missing out on other potential women that can complement your life and is willing to commit.

Modern Man Advice

 

[firstbornunicorn]

If I am being honest, spin plates sexually. You are missing out. Men your age should not be exclusive to a single woman unless:

1) That is truly what you want
2) She is also exclusive and hope she is honest about it
3) She actually wants to commit at some point

This girl simply does not seem to be aligned with you as far as the future goes. She still needs time to have fun, and she clearly is. She is def in her prime SMV so it'd be great to have her commit to you, but until then you are at risk of this being temporary and missing out on other potential women that can complement your life and is willing to commit.

Modern Man Advice

I totally get it. But it is definitely what I want. Sex for me is much better if I'm with someone I know and has already been vetted as not insane/etc. I can relax way more and both of us will have a better time. And I hate non-exclusivity (even if just sexual) to the point that I would have not seen her again if she didn't agree to it.

There is a lack of alignment for sure, the best I can do is lead to my best ability. But we're still in beginning stages. I will see when things start to decline.

Definitely won't see others sexually behind her back though. I'd need to be upfront about it. I guess what I'll do will also depend on the chemistry of this new date that is coming. They are both 22, 10/10 total babes, and I know where to get more, so I'm not too worried tbh

 

[oldmanofthesea]

The easiest way to detach is to see women and relationships for what they are as opposed to what you were brainwashed to believe.

You must also learn to avoid mistaking neediness for love.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I say let yourself commit fully and feel the pain when it doesn’t last. That’s the only way you’ll learn

 

[RBK]

It's never your place to bring up non exclusivity. You're are behind the 8 ball on this one and she is winning.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

how to stay detached in this case?

i always just keep in the back of my mind how easy and quickly a woman will throw me away if she feels something better comes along. That always amazed me how quickly they could go from being in love to i dont exist anymore when it suited them. Now i just don't trust any of em

 

[Zimbabwe]

i always just keep in the back of my mind how easy and quickly a woman will throw me away if she feels something better comes along. That always amazed me how quickly they could go from being in love to i dont exist anymore when it suited them. Now i just don't trust any of em

Because they have an abundance of options, if you could easly get a hot girl the very next day you would feel the same as her.

It's also not something you can really fake, every guy needs to spin plates at some point.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

It's never your place to bring up non exclusivity. You're are behind the 8 ball on this one and she is winning.

I disagree:

I didn't make clear the fact that I wanted her, and someone else did.

The red pill trope of not chasing and not showing your feelings is dumb. Another guy will. And even if this guy is "less" than you she will like the emotionality of the situation. She doesn't know she'll get bored in 6 months. If you hadn't been a pvssy and just showed her how you felt you'd be...

www.sosuave.net

Plates keep getting into relationships

ngl, I'm looking for a relationship (having sex with randoms is awful. the process of meeting these randoms is awful. Condom sex is awful. The risk of hooking up with a psycho is too high), but before I I can decide whether or not to upgrade a plate, some other dude gets into a relationship with...

www.sosuave.net

But this isn't a case of emotions just yet. I just don't want to share her physically; told her basically these words; and she went with it. Spent last weekend in my van having sex and watching movies by a lake high up in the mountains. I like it. Will it last forever? No. But I'm sure enjoying it while it lasts.

I have options and can make new options, but rn I'm liking how it's going with this one. Worst case I get heartbroken and a new PR in the gym. No biggie.

Plus, if I want something I'm not afraid to voice it. Especially when it can also be seen as taking the lead.

If I don't do it like this I come off as super super cold. They will go for a warmer guy. I've tried.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

My .02 guys like you can choose to say whats "dumb" and what not but when your types crash you going to crash hard when reality hits you in thr face. RBK said some sid advice.
Relationship is on her

What?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I'm still out and about and meeting other women, some of them I'd like to date, but I'm exclusive with the other one, so I don't want to get physical with them. But I do have a date next week with an absolute babe that is in fact looking for something long term. (could be a wasted opportunity).

Ye, punch yourself hard in the face. You should date others in rotation. That's how you do not get attached.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Your posts that you used to justify ypur position.
You list the girl not because you did not chase her or "tell her your feels"
You werent her best option and she was attracted to somone else.

I notice when things dont go some guys way or get the rest they want they blame the RP toolbox.
Its actually less about the RP and more about understanding womans nature and the way the market rolls.

The girl I mentioned in those posts: we have met up after me writing that, about 5 weeks ago. It was supposed to be a platonic meet up with two other people for a weekend running trip over some mountains (45km with a lot of climbing over a weekend).

But she couldn't stay off me. Even though she was still with the guy I mentioned in that post. The second I took my shirt off mid run I could see it in her eyes that it would be more than a platonic meetup. Even during running we were making out all the time.

The thing with her is she is very physically attracted to me. Not sure about the rest. There is also a distance issue (7 hours away). It's not convenient, really.

 

[Romanemp22]

More women. Please act like a man on this one. She's fvcking other guys besides you so what's preventing you from banging other girls..

 

[firstbornunicorn]

More women. Please act like a man on this one. She's fvcking other guys besides you so what's preventing you from banging other girls..

It's not like I'm gonna bang others because of the possibility that she isn't keeping her word. It's that I'm NOT banging others because of the possibility that she is keeping her word.

In the first couple of weeks I was in fact having sex with other people. Hell, one day she left in the morning and at 15:00 another one came over. With a third one just the day after (sex by a fire in the woods next to about 35 tents of people sleeping. Fun!).

I can do it, but I don't really want to. The sex with her gets better and better. I may be setting myself up for heartbreak, but I have other **** going on too which is fun and gets my mind off of it.

****ing others because of insecurities isn't fixing anything.

 

[RBK]

I disagree:

I didn't make clear the fact that I wanted her, and someone else did.

The red pill trope of not chasing and not showing your feelings is dumb. Another guy will. And even if this guy is "less" than you she will like the emotionality of the situation. She doesn't know she'll get bored in 6 months. If you hadn't been a pvssy and just showed her how you felt you'd be...

www.sosuave.net

Plates keep getting into relationships

ngl, I'm looking for a relationship (having sex with randoms is awful. the process of meeting these randoms is awful. Condom sex is awful. The risk of hooking up with a psycho is too high), but before I I can decide whether or not to upgrade a plate, some other dude gets into a relationship with...

www.sosuave.net

But this isn't a case of emotions just yet. I just don't want to share her physically; told her basically these words; and she went with it. Spent last weekend in my van having sex and watching movies by a lake high up in the mountains. I like it. Will it last forever? No. But I'm sure enjoying it while it lasts.

I have options and can make new options, but rn I'm liking how it's going with this one. Worst case I get heartbroken and a new PR in the gym. No biggie.

Plus, if I want something I'm not afraid to voice it. Especially when it can also be seen as taking the lead.

If I don't do it like this I come off as super super cold. They will go for a warmer guy. I've tried.

You can disagree all you want, you bringing it up looks WEAK and like you have no other options.

She's 22, GOOD LUCK locking down a girl at that age. They are like light switches.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

You can disagree all you want, you bringing it up looks WEAK and like you have no other options.

She's 22, GOOD LUCK locking down a girl at that age. They are like light switches.

She's well aware I have other options. The context of us meeting included her modelling for me (I'm a hobbyist photographer photographing mostly women, mostly nude, and my IG is full of such photos). Without me even saying anything it was clear to her that I got involved with many of them sexually and she teased me about it.

I don't need to lock her down forever. Maybe it's just a winter thing, idk. Can live with it.