I've been thinking about this myself. I went from spinning 3 or 4 different plates to a GF and it's become a bit of a challenge for me. Spinning plates made things easy because if I started to think too much about one, I could drum up something with one of the others. I usually never got too invested in any of my plates because I'd start to forget about them and suddenly, right before I was about to show too much interest, see a girl too quickly, or something horrific like that (
), out of the blue, one of the forgotten plates would text or call me and save me.
I think this is why the more mature DJ's out there call monogamous relationships the ultimate DJ test. You can't fall back on tactics like plate spinning if you're going to act as a man of integrity. Forget the BS that guys will feed you here about how cheating can be legitimized because women cheat all the time. That is an irrational justification for bad behavior and will only encourage its proliferation.
Is a DJ a man who keeps his word? Did you tell your girl that you were going to be monogamous with her? If you did, you cannot spin plates unless you redefine your relationship. And if you do, I hope you don't have a quality girl. I'm hesitant to say this, but unless you've been dating for quite a while, if you're thinking this way, you probably don't have a quality girl and settled for something easy. But there's no way I can know that.
What you need to do is man up and accept the role YOU choose for yourself. YOU, if nothing else, agreed to be in a relationship with her. Keep your f*cking word. If your word is not good, neither is your character. And a man without character is not a man.
After you have done that, decide whether you really want a relationship. If you don't, get out. If you do, stop even considering the dynamics of how you would swing some extra backups on the side. I don't think you want backups so much to prevent oneitis as you do because you're insecure. Is it so bad to actually have feelings for a woman who deserves them? If she's a woman worthy of your exclusivity, why in the h#ll would you deny yourself the joy of FEELING for her? I'm not talking about sappy AFC sh*t... look in the mature man's forum and read the post backbreaker made about using AFCness to your advantage.
If you're having this much of a problem with your attention towards the girl that you feel like you need to cheat on her to maintain proper balance, you're life is f*cked up. Get some hobbies. Get a job. Explore the world. Start exercising or something. Focus inward because that's where the problem is.
I'm not trying to be a d*ck here. So don't read this message with a tone to it because there isn't one. I view this thread as a solicitation for advice about whether you should cheat, and I hate cheating. That is all.
