How to rise above and be better?

[Ryan Adams]

I've posted. Million times about my ex whom I DID love up and left me out of absolutly nowhere over a text 7 months ago and haven't seen since. It Royally messed my head up and still stings to kinda think about it. I since lost a bunch of weight have banged a few woman and got a better job and was just accepted into a 100k a year career. But I still fvcking think about her. I truly loved that b!tch how do I get to the point where I can see her in public and not give 2 sh!ts? She will never ever come around after what she did..... guess that means she knows what she did was fvxked up

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

Been there done that. here's what I've learned, it'll take time. I was with this one chick for like 4 years (highschool sweetheart, first f**ckin, u name it) and it took me around 2 years to really stopped thinking about her ( ain't that's something, they cry for about a month and move on)
* Realize, internalize, she will not come back.
* Think about the thing you liked about her, do you think she s the only one that can provide those things? Out of the million women that are out there?
* Forgive her ( better yet, understand female nature and use it to your advantage)
* Forgive yourself ( oh yeah, sounds clingy I know) but so forgive yourself, reason why she screwed up more likely than not is because u screwed up as well ( not maintaining your frame, getting pvssy weeped , giving her the control of the relationship.
*Allow yourself to feel again ( this one was hard for me, I'm one cold MF ) so you can have another significant relationship ( if u purple pill, which sounds like you are, if not do use your feelings to attract some nice young things blink blink lol (sell the dream)
Good luck brother

 

[Ryan Adams]

I'm trying to do all of these things. In the end she was cold and her sister did that same thing to her bf of 6 years but he got cheated on I just got left and thrown out. She then blocked me immediately after she left me thru text so I didn't even get a word in. She then proceeded to post stuff on Facebook. Acting like I left her. Like literally posts saying he will regret. Just royally fvcked my head straight up. 99% sure and licensed therapist from what he's heard said she has bpd. Was abandoned by dad at a young age mom is every manipulative and immature. Etc etc she hits every criteria. What makes it sting so bad is she now has a new bf. Like I got fvckin left after literally giving this girl a better life. Oh yeah 2 months later I tried to get her back. I told her I missed her over her blah blah. She proceeded to tell me she didn't love me and that basically I was boring and to **** off... she said your just trying to use stuff you bought me to hold it over my head....which I never mentioned. The blocked me this was 7 months ago. I never so much as raised my voice at this woman.. and she treats someone like that.... sorry guys just venting. Found out she has some new bf and I got pissed

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

I'm trying to do all of these things. In the end she was cold and her sister did that same thing to her bf of 6 years but he got cheated on I just got left and thrown out. She then blocked me immediately after she left me thru text so I didn't even get a word in. She then proceeded to post stuff on Facebook. Acting like I left her. Like literally posts saying he will regret. Just royally fvcked my head straight up. 99% sure and licensed therapist from what he's heard said she has bpd. Was abandoned by dad at a young age mom is every manipulative and immature. Etc etc she hits every criteria. What makes it sting so bad is she now has a new bf. Like I got fvckin left after literally giving this girl a better life. Oh yeah 2 months later I tried to get her back. I told her I missed her over her blah blah. She proceeded to tell me she didn't love me and that basically I was boring and to **** off... she said your just trying to use stuff you bought me to hold it over my head....which I never mentioned. The blocked me this was 7 months ago. I never so much as raised my voice at this woman.. and she treats someone like that.... sorry guys just venting. Found out she has some new bf and I got pissed

Get it of your chest brodie. It's all right. However it LL forever amaze me, how we, THE RATIONAL part of the relationship, ignore all them red flags because that punanni is good, because she l*ck our balls a certain away. I'll ask you this, who s more.important you or her?
I hope my tips helped any, good luck

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

Co worker doing this now with his gf. A wrecking ball his way a cometh.... men have a super bad habit of making excuses for women.

Truly sad, worst thing is, if you approach your buddy with some harsh truth he ll reply all triggered and take it personal. When you was just trying to help...

 

[Ryan Adams]

yeah are all woman that fvckin cruel? Most woman that I know left there bf in person and there still civil to this day. She left me and is going to hide from seeing me the rest of her life even though she lives 10 min away. All my friends hate her now she ruined her character and ethics by doing this. Pretty sure she knows the now and is embarrassed

 

[Ryan Adams]

She does not care. Women can rationalize anything. You will get to the point were you are enough. Truly not giving a fck isn't just words you can say.
Its a feeling and action. Not being the push over and having value for yourself

How do I have value for myself? I do decent with woman im not ugly I make decent money. I just am Pinning over her. I KNOW we will never get together and I would never take her back i just to cuss her out or be nasty as **** like she was to me for no reason I want revenge as crazy as that sounds but nothing violent I just want to make her feel bad

 

[Ryan Adams]

Man that's something you have to dig deep in yourself to find out. Best cure for oneitis is to first understand its a lie. Or a phantom idea and 2. Just dont go there "from the beginning"
Don't pedestalize them. I have a rule ive adopted
I always take the moral high ground. If you dont i assure you she will at some point.
This isnt a love game like we are taught.
If anything its conditional and more about power and leverage.

What do you mean when you say take the moral high ground?

 

[Ryan Adams]

These points are moot. Yes they all have this. To varying degrees. I sense from you right now would be to learn some things about women and pound them into your head.
When my wife tells me she loves me i often just snicker. I know the deal.
Often i will tell her i hater her too.

She will never speak to me again I literally doubt ill see her other then her driving she is gonna hide

 

[Lynx nkaf]

How do I have value for myself? I do decent with woman im not ugly I make decent money. I just am Pinning over her. I KNOW we will never get together and I would never take her back i just to cuss her out or be nasty as **** like she was to me for no reason I want revenge as crazy as that sounds but nothing violent I just want to make her feel bad

Sounds like you're an alright guy and have a lot going for you.

That's not love btw.

If you are thinking of actually making her feel "bad", not violence, we know, but even just ti make her feel bad....you don't love her, not unconditionally anyways.
If you did it wouldn't sound or look like this.
What's that saying?
"If you love someone, set them free"

 

[Ryan Adams]

I didn't set her free she left me then bad mouthed me. Told me she didn't love me then blocked me on every account. When I was with her I did love her I would rather be be broke then her so I gave her my last bit of money multiple times told her I was good but had 25 dollers to last the week...

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I didn't set her free she left me then bad mouthed me. Told me she didn't love me then blocked me on every account. When I was with her I did love her I would rather be be broke then her so I gave her my last bit of money multiple times told her I was good but had 25 dollers to last the week...

Keep your money in your pocket.
You'd be setting her free by not 'getting her back' (taking revenge)or 'making her feel bad'

Here's the thing...........people suddenly become mentally ill and don't even know it themselves. Especially women.

You haven't actually promised "in sickness and in health" marriage type vows with her, correct?

So if she doesn't even know she's mentally ill and you're probably not a trained, registered psychologist/psychiatrist AND there is no family obligation here(a promise to care for in sickness and in health) then you are also free.

I know how this hurts. I know the feeling of someone you love changing personalities and embarassing you.
I know the feeling of disbelief that they would hurt you, when you have been only good-you even give money, bro, stop that.

Play the movie til the end. What does the end of the movie look like? Give yourself a happy ending.

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

You started a thread not too long ago about her, and got ample advice. Some of the best advice on this forum. And now you are starting an identical thread looking for more sympathy. So let me go back to that LAST thread and copy and paste exactly what I already told you then because it still applies now - but this time in bold, so that you don't miss it again and start more endless threads about the same woman whom you ALLOWED to treat you like sh1t for two years.


"It’s already been said a million times but if you truly loved yourself, you wouldn’t have allowed her behavior.

The fact that you don’t love yourself manifested in someone like her reflecting back to you your own lack of self love.

She reflected back to you how you truly felt about yourself.

It’s 150% your fault and responsibility. The only way to change your future is to become a better man.

The woman that you attract will always see you the way YOU see you.

No exceptions.

The BPD’s and the self loathing pushovers always find each other. They are a perfect match made in hell.

Coming here to complain about how you allowed someone to treat you like sh1t for two years is not going to earn you any sympathy points.

It will just make you look pathetic.

There is nothing out there that someone can give you that you can’t give yourself. Until you realize this, you will never find a good woman.

There is no such thing in this universe as a self loving guy being in a relationship with a BPD woman spanning years.

Leave the sympathy card at home gentlemen. We are not your mothers.

We can only point you to the right direction. And it’s always the same direction. Towards self love."

oh wow, the level of simping is strong withing this man.. Now i feel bad for even wasting my time trying to advise this guy, little did I know he been posting the same isshh for a while now haha

 

[Billtx49]

oh wow, the level of simping is strong withing this man.. Now i feel bad for even wasting my time trying to advise this guy, little did I know he been posting the same isshh for a while now haha

Yes, unfortunately he always comes back with his failure questions then doesn’t listen to and implement the great advice given.…

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm trying to do all of these things. In the end she was cold and her sister did that same thing to her bf of 6 years but he got cheated on I just got left and thrown out. She then blocked me immediately after she left me thru text so I didn't even get a word in. She then proceeded to post stuff on Facebook. Acting like I left her. Like literally posts saying he will regret. Just royally fvcked my head straight up. 99% sure and licensed therapist from what he's heard said she has bpd. Was abandoned by dad at a young age mom is every manipulative and immature. Etc etc she hits every criteria. What makes it sting so bad is she now has a new bf. Like I got fvckin left after literally giving this girl a better life. Oh yeah 2 months later I tried to get her back. I told her I missed her over her blah blah. She proceeded to tell me she didn't love me and that basically I was boring and to **** off... she said your just trying to use stuff you bought me to hold it over my head....which I never mentioned. The blocked me this was 7 months ago. I never so much as raised my voice at this woman.. and she treats someone like that.... sorry guys just venting. Found out she has some new bf and I got pissed

"Giving a female the world" normally plays out like this in real life. From her end you were ultra giving and wanting to help her. But she's not obligated to do anything in return. Sucks i know. But that's how it plays out.

 

[Robert28]

I didn't set her free she left me then bad mouthed me. Told me she didn't love me then blocked me on every account. When I was with her I did love her I would rather be be broke then her so I gave her my last bit of money multiple times told her I was good but had 25 dollers to last the week...

She’s a narcissist. She found another “supply” and left you for it. What she did is CLASSIC narcissist personality, right down to the badmouthing you and blocking you. Lookout for being hoovered eventually. I can’t say when it will happen but it will happen, you may or may never know about it but it’s going to happen.

 

[forcerecon01]

Been dumped before while i was in the Marines in Okinawa. I lifted weights to get my mind off her and guess what ? It worked .Pook had good theory on here when he was around. As a man and as a prize instead of the broad. Do you really give two ****s? No a prize is always in abundance of women and if not is always bettering himself for no approval seeking.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It means when be better then her at every corner. Even when she's bytchy.
Its a wide subject that can be applied through out life but in a nutshell always take the high road. Don't behave more poorly then her. Be more professional and as us guys say it. Be the better man.
Shame her when needed.
Ill give you 2 examples. Ill try to be short. You plug it in.

1. Bitching about coworkers and shes exhibiting shytty behavior towards another girl. Being that vindictive battling bytch she is... let this shyt go and let her be a kunt to other women. Nothing but ears here.

2. A coworker is over and helping you install a floor or some other guy project.
She bitches at you about some dumb shyt in front of your buddy trying to stir your manly in front of your buddy. Disrespects you in open air. Big no no.
You let her know without blinking you don't appreciate being talked to like that in front of company and i suggest you don't do it again because you "expect better of her"
And if she does it again. You better open the flood gates of dismissal on this girl or she will own your nut sack forever.

Yep. It doesn't take long...

Healthy Women want dominance.
These are simple quick examples but you get the idea.
Moral high road and do reward her good behavior.
When she is pleasant and prepares food for you and your company.

Ill tell you this if she ****s with your respect and you are not swift and decisive you are fcked.

You'll be cvkced with the quickness if you allow disrespect and an "unequally yoked" relationship/situation...

 

[metalwater]

I've posted. Million times about my ex whom I DID love up and left me out of absolutly nowhere over a text 7 months ago and haven't seen since. It Royally messed my head up and still stings to kinda think about it. I since lost a bunch of weight have banged a few woman and got a better job and was just accepted into a 100k a year career. But I still fvcking think about her. I truly loved that b!tch how do I get to the point where I can see her in public and not give 2 sh!ts? She will never ever come around after what she did..... guess that means she knows what she did was fvxked up

It is possible that she had the other guy already lined up when she left. That would mean she left you for another dude. Gotta ask yourself why you would want that girl. You don't... you want what your remember before she left and before you realized it was to be with another guy. Reality sucks...

Get your job to transfer to you another place where you do not ever see her if you can, continue living and whatever you like to do. Find a different social circle, any club( activity group), church, tavern... . Whatever you like doing, do more of it. One of the other posters hear spent some time to post about how women will try to tear you down because inside they feel like they can not match up to you. This is even more true for the guy that really believes that always doing right is right. Because they are not that way and need to prove you also are not. Keep your head up and realize that she was only a high paid actor and NOT real. The pay came from your self esteem and she took more then you agreed to give. She was a dishonest thief and moved on to another that she could get more from.

It might take you years.. get away from her completely and get into a group where ppl actively try to be nice to you, and be nice back.. and this also will pass just like all the other crappy things that happen in life.

 

[Ryan Adams]

I'm back and thanks guys I can at this point 100% say idgaf about her lol. I had an epiphany if u wanna call it that. And hovering. Yes pretty sure she is doing it now. Her friends are talking to me about her which never happens. Also her new bf up and left her like she left me. Haha feels awesome. I know im a good looking dude and I like to think I'm a decent human being. She didn't deserve me. I would be trying to slay woman but this corona is really messing me up lol. Once again the advice was deeply appreciated guys seriously.