How to respond to this text

[trverb]

Went on a date with a girl recently she said she would very much like to get together again i told her I would get in touch.

text her today(thats how we do things where im from before you tell me to call her) saying "I enjoyed the last date. lets go out this sat for drinks"

she responded with "Im so busy this weekend Ive assignments to do.im looking into paying people to do them blah blah blah. cant make it out on friday with my friends either(previous plans of a group of us going out not a date just with our same friends)"

So how should i respond to this.
1. no mention of future date
2. I know she has alot of assignments, on our previous dates she was always mentioning she is putting them off to go out.


help please and quick.
thanks

 

[trverb]

Well I txt her back saying:

"ok, well im pretty busy myself these days not alot of time to spare. might be able to fit u in another day.have fun studying"

Wasnt expecting a reply but got one:

"Its not fun anymore cant handle it blah blah blah.so whats the plans for friday then?.actually need to go to bed now.night"


is this i **** test?

 

[Mr. Me]

Kind of a test. She already knows you've got nothing going on Saturday night, could be she's looking to see if you've got nothing cooking for Friday too, to confirm in her mind that you've got nothing going on.

text her today(thats how we do things where im from before you tell me to call her) saying "I enjoyed the last date. lets go out this sat for drinks"

That's the way it's done huh? By that 2% of guys that continually get all the girls, is that right?

Even though it works against you.

You shouldn't invite a girl out via text.

Isn't it better to call the girl, chit chat for five minutes and thus bring her into state, then invite her?

And then, she doesn't have time to compose an answer (like she would in texting), so you can better assess her answer. For example, when she hesitates two seconds before answering, that tells you something. You just can't get the full message via text, you know?

So, what should you do now? Well, her answer was to blow you off. She's nexted you. So your answer back to her, "well im pretty busy myself these days not alot of time to spare. might be able to fit u in another day.have fun studying" - was pretty good. You stuck to your guns inferring that Saturday was the ONLY time you're free. That you have somewhat of a life, though you don't have any other girls for Saturday night!

Just don't call her anymore.

 

[MotownMack]

I can't help shake the feeling that she's blowing you off too. She did ask what you're doing Friday, but by previous attempt she made to cut you off before you suggested it, makes me think that she has no intentions of asking you to go along, and that would also require you to say you're doing "nothing", which isn't a risk I would take at this point. Can't say for sure though. Honestly, if I were you, at this point I'd be asking myself how well do you think the date really went? If it was just an OK, I would freeze her out and not initiate anything else. It's not a very creative tactic, but if she has a low IL, you're wasting your time anyway. If you become less available and she has a moderate IL, there is a chance she may become more interested.

 

[trverb]

Mr.Me I see what you did there.

I actually do have other plans for sat just txted another girl.

I see this girl about every two weeks regularly anyway, because of mutual friends.Only recently have we started dating.
She's been very interested in me always giving IOI's and saying stuff we should do together in the future. Even going as far as to tell me she feels things between us.

I've been very DJ about this whole thing.(disinterest , ****y funny, being the MAN)

The question about friday was because I told her my friends werent meeting up with her friends on friday.

Im just gonna reply saying "I got a better offer for friday"
Maybe babble about how studying too much will make you miss out on all the fun in life.

keep her mind working you know.

what you think?

 

[MCristo]

Sounds like she's busy...

You guys are over analyzing this. Just tell her you're busy Friday and try again in a few days. If you don't sense much interest when you do, then next her.

 

[MacAvoy]

what you think?

I actually do have other plans for sat just txted another girl.

I think your an idiot and you should reread his advice!

 

[trverb]

at motownmack

well her interest was high on the date. She was giddy like a child nervous at everything I did etc. It could have been better but does a date have to be ****ing perfect? At the end of the date things shifted gear and she started talking about my prospects for a relationship with her told her I wasn't interested in jumping into anything serious at the moment but would like to continue seeing her to see how things go. All was good. She went back home to her country for two weeks. Had very little contact with her just a few flirting comments on facebook. Shes back a few days now. Shes also blowing off all her friends aswell to study so....

Im still not sure.

 

[MotownMack]

"I got a better offer for friday"

Don't say that.

It's transparent and insulting ("better")-that's not the goal. She'll see your just trying to make her jealous, and it will lose it's intended effect. Plus, it assumes she has enough invested in you to be jealous about, which I can't say either way-but it make you look pathetic if she doesn't care, which is even worse than the first scenario.

If anything, I'd just tell her you have plans. If you want to make her think it's with another girl, do it in a more ambiguous fashion, like saying "Friday a friend is coming over to make me dinner".

Guys dont make other guys dinner. She'll figure that one out on her own, without you making it so obvious.

 

[Mr. Me]

Im just gonna reply saying "I got a better offer for friday"
Maybe babble about how studying too much will make you miss out on all the fun in life.

keep her mind working you know.

what you think?

This is what I think:

Just don't call her anymore.

You guys slay me! "keep her mind working"... Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!

This can become a cat and mouse game between you two, and guess which part you'll play?

She blew you off. How many ways can I say this? It's done. Elvis has left the building. The cow is out of the barn. This bird has flown its coop. The circus has packed its tent. The party's over. The ship has set sail. The bank is closed. The sun has sunk. The election's over. Stick a fork in it, it's done.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

This is what I think:



You guys slay me! "keep her mind working"... Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!

This can become a cat and mouse game between you two, and guess which part you'll play?

She blew you off. How many ways can I say this? It's done. Elvis has left the building. The cow is out of the barn. This bird has flown its coop. The circus has packed its tent. The party's over. The ship has set sail. The bank is closed. The sun has sunk. The election's over. Stick a fork in it, it's done.

LOL too funny... Mr. Me is usually right.. I learned the hard way by not listening to him New Years Eve... He told me not to go!!

I will always wonder what would it be like now if I had listened. DOH!

 

[splinterkb]

Alright well let me know when a good time would be.

 

[MCristo]

This is what I think:



You guys slay me! "keep her mind working"... Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!

This can become a cat and mouse game between you two, and guess which part you'll play?

She blew you off. How many ways can I say this? It's done. Elvis has left the building. The cow is out of the barn. This bird has flown its coop. The circus has packed its tent. The party's over. The ship has set sail. The bank is closed. The sun has sunk. The election's over. Stick a fork in it, it's done.

Do you actually expect her to drop all her homework and responsibilities in order to see him? He has said she's ditching her friends in order to get this done so it's a legit excuse.

People are busy sometimes. It's life.

OP give it a try again in a few days.

 

[Mr. Me]

I will always wonder what would it be like now if I had listened.

Thanks for your vote of confidence, MNIN.

I can actually tell you what it would be like now if you had listened back then:

You'd be forever wondering what would've happened if you did go! LOL LOL LOL!!!! Am I right?

 

[LostAndConfused]

I agree with MCristo.

Wait a few days not contacting her (2 or more)

If she's interested, by then she will have called you back or is waiting for you to call

If not, she'll flake again with a BS excuse and you know THEN that she's not interested....NEXT!

 

[trverb]

I agree with MCristo.

Wait a few days not contacting her (2 or more)

If she's interested, by then she will have called you back or is waiting for you to call

If not, she'll flake again with a BS excuse and you know THEN that she's not interested....NEXT!

Ye I suppose it couldn't hurt Il probly wait till after the weekend and ask her how her assignments went.

I'm spinning one plate that almost never counter-offered. Now she just offers to do stuff.

Not counter offering is NOT the kiss of death. Wait a week and invite her out again.

What do you mean by Counter offering?

Your saying I should just cut off contact wait a week try again?

 

[Mr. Me]

Do you actually expect her to drop all her homework and responsibilities in order to see him? He has said she's ditching her friends in order to get this done so it's a legit excuse.

MCristo, there was a big sign in her message that led me to think, based on my experiences and that of others, that she was using excuses to not make the date.

You seem to go ahead and buy the excuses.

Specifically, she didn't counter-offer, Interested women counter-offer, uninterested or low interest women don't.

If she really wanted to see him, but just couldn't Saturday night, he would've heard her say "I can't Saturday because blah, blah,. but how's Sunday? I'll be all done by then!"

I don't believe ANYTHING a woman says. They can anything... and they do. And guys believe them verbatim, which is why they keep doing it and getting away with it.

Some women are good at it, others are so so. Eventually they may say something that contradicts themselves (since it's not factual) and the guy goes around saying "WTF???" because it doesn't make any sense - and he STILL doesn't get that he's been lied to, instead, he's trying to make sense out of it.

"Im so busy this weekend Ive assignments to do" - maybe she does. Maybe not. Maybe she'll be doing them Saturday morning or Saturday afternoon, but using it as an excuse anyway.

The bottom line she didn't say "I can see you Sunday instead!" or "I'll be studying ALL day Saturday... you know, I'd love to see you and probably by Saturday night I could REALLY use a break! Thanks! I'll see ya Saturday night then!!!"

"cant make it out on Friday with my friends either" Maybe she has other plans with yet other friends. Or maybe another guy she really likes called and made plans with her. Do you know? I don't know. It could be anything. Why should I believe her? Or maybe she is going to work on assignments Friday night, but trverb wasn't asking her about Friday night. He asked her about Saturday night. She's doing assignments Friday AND Saturday nights? If she wanted to see him, why can't she reschedule and work on her assignments Thursday and Friday and see him Saturday? Or offer when she can see him?

Women don't say "No". Not in those words, anyway.

 

[trverb]

Mr.Me I totally agree with you here and just to clarify.

I know she has about 6 different assignments to do and exams in 2 weeks.
her roommate is going out with my mate and she is blowing him off(not the good kind) aswell for the same reasons.

While the validity of this excuse seems to be true.I do agree that she would have maybe counter offered a further date but from what I can tell she is saying that she doesn't have any free time at all for the next while because of her responsibilities.

I was all prepared to next her after I sent my last text. But her reply asking about the plans for friday after I had told her the group wasnt meeting up confuses me.
Even after saying that she probably couldnt even make friday.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Thanks for your vote of confidence, MNIN.

I can actually tell you what it would be like now if you had listened back then:

You'd be forever wondering what would've happened if you did go! LOL LOL LOL!!!! Am I right?

I don't think so. Because it cannot be worse than what is happening now. She won't even talk to me since that night.

At least before that we were "friends" and she would talk to me!

 

[Mr. Me]

But her reply asking about the plans for friday after I had told her the group wasnt meeting up confuses me.
Even after saying that she probably couldnt even make friday.

Yeah, I caught that too, but did not take it to mean that maybe she would make herself available to see you on Friday depending on what your plans were.

From all indications, you're basically dealing with a low interested girl, okay? The best way to deal with her is to back off and withdraw. Don't chase, as that will lower her interest even more.

If you're not certain, and you wish to give it a week so you don't go around wondering "what if?", then give it a week if you must before you contact her again. See if in that time period, she contacts you. You wouldn't know unless you afford her the op to do so, right? And that would only happen if you don't call.

If she doesn't and you call her after a week and get a "no" again... you know what to do. But don't contact her for a whole week! Don't give in to your impulses to contact her. Use this to learn and develop self-control and strategy.

Each women you meet and go through is training for you, understand? This is all going to get you so you're ready to handle the great ones when they cross your path!