How to Reinvent Yourself in 6 Weeks

RKTek

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Fellow DJ's, the following might be helpful to those of us thinking we need to re-program who we are, how we look, the friends we keep and other aspects of our lives that don't seem to be working for us. Note it is in two parts, including the post below.

The original web address is shown, but I copied, reformatted and clarified/edited for posting here:

How to Reinvent Yourself in 6 Weeks
By Fiona Harrold

http://www.ivillage.co.uk/relationships/famfri/emotwb/articles/0,9546,161285_553896,00.html

(edited by RKTek)

You have far greater control over who you are than you think. Your character, your personality and mental outlook are all in your hands to shape and fashion as you wish. If there's something you dislike about yourself, do something about it. This course will teach you the art of true reinvention - from the inside out. Over the next six weeks, I want you to take a good look at yourself. My plan is to push you to be the best-possible version of yourself, not someone different, just you at your shiny, refined, polished, perfected best. It gets better! You can even decide to take on new qualities, characteristics and an enhanced, spruced-up demeanor of your choice. Over the years I've coached people to move from dithering to decisive, jaded to dynamic, victim to victorious. Life can take a lot out of you. It’s easy to get coated with layers of resignation, cynicism, and self-doubt. It all adds up to a dampening of your spirit, vibrancy and optimism, a shutting down of what's possible for you. I want to slough off those layers, so you see yourself anew. But before we even think about that, we need to make room to throw off
what may be stale or no longer useful.

Week 1

Who are you now?

”'It is never too late to be what you might have been.'” George Eliot
Look at you. Look within.

Truly successful reinvention comes from digging deep into you and pulling out old beliefs and attitudes that restrict you and prevent you fulfilling your potential. Take a look at yourself. What do you see? Are you entirely happy with what you've become? It would be very easy to answer questions like these if we were talking about your body. You could tell me instantly whether you had 'let yourself go', or had neglected yourself. But we're looking at the person you've become and are turning into. That's more unusual. It's a vital conversation to have. You could slip into being someone you wouldn't find attractive or interesting without even noticing!
Who are you?
Think about the question, 'who am I?' Be clear. This is not a fixed state of affairs. We need some answers to get clear on our work ahead. In the next few weeks we're going to experiment and try on some new traits, attitudes and airs.
Thought for the week
Everyday, in every way, I get better and better.

Week 2

Who do you want to be?

“I have the right to be as brilliant, talented, resourceful and great as I can possibly be!”

By now, you've had time to take a close look at yourself. You'll probably have identified attitudes or behaviors that you'd prefer to let go of or minimize. That's great. Remember you're a work in progress. Cultivating your character and choosing your demeanor is your prerogative. Not everyone will see the logic of this. You'll find plenty of people who genuinely feel that we just are who we are and there's not a lot you can do about it. This is nonsense. No one would argue you shouldn't work on your body and physical appearance to improve how you look and feel. Refining your psychology and personality should receive equal priority. The big question is: who do you want to be? The answer is - brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous! Aspire to be the best expression of you. This does not mean you lose the essence of you. You aren't going to turn into anyone other than the most perfected version of you that you choose to be.

Get inspired

Right now, sit back for a moment and inspire yourself. Have a vision. See yourself at your fabulous best. Perhaps you're seeing yourself as dynamic, decisive and performing brilliantly at work. Savor the moment. Watch yourself with pride. Let yourself feel excited by your potential unfolding. There is absolutely nothing to stop you from moving into this persona. You'll have a measure of these qualities already. It's a question of increasing some, decreasing others. You need to get specific about the qualities you want to emphasize. How do you want to come across?

Think about the three most impressive people you know. These can be people you've only briefly met or long-standing friends. Identify the quality in each individual that impressed you the most. What is it about them that you find so attractive? Be as precise as possible. Capture that quality for yourself and adopt it. There is no reason why you shouldn't wear those characteristics yourself.

You're in charge

Directing yourself is much easier than you may think. All change begins with a decision. Then, constant vigilance is required to make the changes stick. I'm a completely different person from the one I used to be. I used to be the most intolerant person. I grew sick of being this way and decided to rid myself of this outlook. The change began with that decision. From that day forth I policed my thoughts and words so they reflected a fairer, less prejudiced and detached view of other people. It took time but I can honestly say I've succeeded. I'm the most tolerant person I know. Now, maintenance is all that is required. Refining yourself is interesting. Challenging yourself needn't be hard work and it should never be dreary or worthy. Take all of this seriously but don't get serious with it. Keep yourself light. Please don't make the mistake of thinking you're a long way from where you want to be, and there's so much about yourself you want to change. Berating or belittling yourself serves no useful purpose. It's an indulgence you have no time for. Rid yourself of it.

Thought for the week
I now give myself permission to be dynamic, decisive and optimistic.

Week 3

What do you want?

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that but the really great make you feel that you too can become great.”-- Mark Twain

By now, you're deep into an interesting conversation with yourself about who you are and who you want to be. You have probably grasped that you are constantly in the act of creating yourself and reinforcing who you are. Reinventing yourself is simply you paying attention to 'you' and the life that you're creating. You haven't always been the 'you' that you are now. You may be unrecognizable from the 'you' that you were 20 years ago. Right now, you're standing outside yourself taking a good look and appraising what you see. From your vantage point you can spot what you're up to and how you're carrying yourself through life. To bring about any significant, enduring change you have to look beneath the surface to get to the source of what you believe about you, life and everything. You know it's not enough to simply change your hairstyle. An authentic upgrade has to come from the depths of your being. There's nothing superficial about successful reinvention.

What's your perspective?
You are who you are and what you are not because of your past, but because of your perspective. Breathe deeply and take this in. Assume a different perspective and you will have a different thought about everything. In this way you will have learned to control your thoughts, and to reinvent your life. Controlled thought is everything. Pause for a moment and reflect on your perspective. Immediately you'll notice that you have a perspective on everything. You'll have your very own 'take' on who you are, what your future holds. It's like a filter that you look at life through. It colors everything. All that matters is that you take command of that perspective and ensure it's pointing in the direction you want to be heading.

We’ve all seen older men who look great, hanging around with younger women. Jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford are good examples of older men who still attract young, beautiful women. But they needn’t be movie stars. We’ve all seen examples of less than handsome or less than wealthy men who are with gorgeous women who would rob banks for them.

Thought for the week
'I take total responsibility for creating an exciting future. My life is full of wonderful opportunities and surprises.'
 

RKTek

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Reinventing Yourself, Part 2

Week 4

Look the part. What do your clothes and appearance say about yourself?
”Everyone is like a butterfly, they start out ugly and awkward and then morph into beautiful, graceful butterflies that everyone loves.”-- Drew Barrymore

By now you're familiar with working on yourself from the inside out to bring about whatever changes you want. We've focused on your character, personality, attitude, and demeanor. Now I want to look at you and what you're saying about yourself through your physical appearance and the clothes you wear. All true reinvention begins on the inside but shows up on the outside. Transforming the way you see yourself and how others see you has to reflect itself in a change of look. Today, stylists are so prized and sought-after they have a status similar to the stars they style. Katie Grand restyled Madonna and Elizabeth Hurley for a series of photos and she is the one the papers are interviewing. Any decent department store now has their own personal shopper to help you get the right look.

Decide what your dress code needs to be. It's your uniform, a vital part of your armory, critical to your success. Looking the part is half the battle. Ian Fleming originally wrote James Bond to be a slender man with blonde hair and blue eyes. But when Sean Connery appeared dressed in a tailored suit and oozing self-confidence, the producers quickly chose him. And to get the part, Russell Crowe “became” a Gladiator for this screen test. So, what part are you playing? Be absolutely clear. Your external appearance speaks volumes. If you want to convince those in power of your intelligence and authority, dress to impress them. Skin, hair and hands deserve thoughtful grooming. It'll show. All work environments have dress codes. Ensure you've deciphered yours and are suitably attired.

Get into shape
You know what to do. Get the look. It'll be worth it. If you need to drop 10lb to get it, even better. Get on with it. Don't underestimate the importance of feeling comfortable in your skin, with your size. Talk show star Graham Norton was interviewed recently and asked about the effect of his success on his ego. He replied, 'Being thin and fit has affected my ego far more than success has.' He started personal training and shed nearly 30 pounds. It's good to get into shape. You deserve to have the sensation of a lean, fit body that looks great - with or without your clothes! Most importantly, dress for yourself. Present yourself as you wish to see yourself. The days are long gone when looking sexy ended at age 25.

Week 5

Fake it. Faking it will be an indispensable tool in your bag of reinvention tricks. You've covered some ground over the past few weeks, all in the noble pursuit of making yourself into the very best version of you. You've been cultivating yourself to a new level of refinement and taking full responsibility for making yourself into the most attractive you that you can be. Now you deserve some fun! I want to convince you of the absolute need to fake it, as occasion sometimes requires you to. Faking it will be an indispensable tool in your bag of reinvention tricks. The gap between your life now and where you want to be has to be closed. Any worthwhile, significant progression creates a gap. Closing that gap as gracefully and quickly as possible is the challenge. Most people never grasp this unavoidable fact of change, and make life unnecessarily difficult for themselves. Thankfully, you won't be one of them. Forewarned is forearmed. Play your part - closing the gap means you have to learn the art of acting the part. How else do actors convincingly play the part of characters completely different from themselves? They identify the mannerisms and behavior of their chosen role and then inhabit that persona. When they do it thoroughly enough, we are convinced. If they do it long enough, they are convinced. Known as the 'method' school of acting, actors often find it extremely difficult to shake off the adopted persona. They often have to studiously 'debrief' themselves to return to their original self. Al Pacino said in a recent interview, 'I've been doing so many different characters, it's sometimes difficult to remember my own.'

Act “as if”

The mistake many people make is giving up before they make it real. They feel ill at ease. They feel they're faking it. Of course they are. It's the easiest, and sometimes the only way to make it to the other side. I believe that great achievers everywhere understand the importance of faking it. Anna Wintour, British editor-in-chief of American Vogue, is a case in point. Hugely successful in the cut-throat world of US publishing, she is known as “Nuclear Wintour” for her glacial manner. Her decisiveness is legendary. In a recent documentary she admitted to acting decisive, even when she doesn't feel it. She simply points out that her position requires her to be seen as decisive. Her staff need her to act this way. She has a lot to get through and, at the end of the day, it's only fashion.
Regardless of how she feels, she acts decisively.
Thought for the week

'I now choose to feel optimistic and enthusiastic about myself and my potential. I radiate vitality and attract great people and possibilities into my life.'
Week 6
Move on - bring about specific changes in your life

“The only difference between a ‘rut’ and a ‘grave’ is the depth”

Over the past few weeks you've done a lot of thinking about yourself, who you are, who you want to be and what you need to do to bring out the best in yourself. That's absolutely terrific. You may be thinking about specific changes that you'd like to bring about in your life. Remember: the essence of reinvention is change. Sometimes the changes we bring about are so dramatic we move way beyond the place we were born in, the lifestyle of our parents and childhood pals. That's not to say we are ashamed of our origins. It's simply that we needed to move beyond them. When I was ten I decided I would leave Northern Ireland as soon as I was grown up. I instinctively knew I had to leave to grow up. A small village may be where you start out, but it's where you going that counts.

A fresh start
It's vital to feel that you're living in the right place - for you. If you've made changes to how you see yourself and you want to live differently, you might need to consider moving on. Nearly 20 years ago, I lived a very counter-culture life in a large house with other like-minded people. Our house was more like a drop-in center than a home, which I loved. Smoking' herbal cigarettes' into the early hours was a great way to live - until I decided it wasn't anymore. As soon as I decided to be different, give up the cigarettes etc, I had to move on. Living in that house, but being a different person just couldn't have worked. I left an entire lifestyle and social world behind. I knew I couldn't take people from the old world. They wouldn't fit. Making a fresh start was my most dramatic reinvention. You might not need to do anything so extreme. Or you might.

Changes on the inside push for expression on the outside. Transforming yourself and staying with the same people, in the same place, doing the same thing is unlikely to work. Either you will slip back, revert to form, or you'll create tension and struggle between you and the sameness - whether its people, a town or the job you do. Never underestimate the influence of peer pressure. Without noticing it, you could easily be turning into the person next to you, which may be fine, or may not be. Far better to decide who you intend being first, and then pick people to reinforce and support that. You're always being influenced by those closest to you. Choose your influences wisely.

Avoid being sentimental
Change is good. It's healthy and refreshing. It allows you to move with the stages of your life. Staying put can lead to stagnation. Trading up and getting what you want will not please everyone. You need to handle this; otherwise you'll hold yourself back from making the changes you feel inspired to. Obviously, you may have responsibilities and loved ones to consider but that need not mean abandoning your dreams and schemes. It's all part of the challenge. It would be naive to assume that everyone is going to be enthusiastic about your changes. Moving on in life can highlight people's own lack of momentum. Their own frustration is only their own discomfort at your pumped-up enthusiasm. Enthusiasm can be irritating to people who feel resigned and frustrated. In this case, it's best not to argue or try to justify your case. In fact, this is the very time to carry out an inventory of the people in your life! Who can stay? Who has to go?

Make two lists of the people in your life. One list is headed “Energizers”; the other “Drainers”. You will know which list people need to go on, so don't hold back. Include relatives in this listing as well. Get clear on the type of person you're hanging out with. Is it largely with energizers? It needs to be. Be aware that as you change, someone who may have been an energizer for you may have become more of a drainer. There will be a number of people who don't really effect you in any particular way so don't worry too much about these. Concentrate on avoiding the drainers altogether or reducing your exposure to them - dramatically.

Thought for the week
The divine plan of my life is now manifesting.

“Give yourself the best. After all, you’re all you’ve got.”

Now get out there and create the new you.
 

rbd

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Very good stuff! The idea involving making a list of Energizers and Drainers is golden. I've done that and have come to an important realization. Thanks for posting another good bit of advice, RKTek.

From a suggestion on this site, I'm also reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. EXCELLENT book, and I highly recommend it to anyone, especially anyone who has problems communicating and/or has become TOO egotistical as a side effect of their DJ training.

Robby
 
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