How to regain power

[MacAvoy]

update

Before I had a chance to return her call last night, she called me, I was on the phone, told her I would call her back. An hour later, she asked what took me so long to return her call. Told her I was on the phone. She asked where I was last night, told her I was out and didn't have my phone, told her it was too late to call when I got home.

She asked me to come over. I told her I didn't know, that I would call her back. 15 mins later she called me back and asked me why, what was I doing, she said that she would tell me if what her plans were if she had plans, that there is no reason to keep secrets. I told her that it wasn't a secret that I might go out to a blues club as Dan Akroyd was in town and might pop in. She asked me what is with this blues kick I've been on, told her just goin out with friends.

She called back a third time just to ask about something irrelevant. She's a real player, tryin to pull me back in. I woke up this morning and seen my phone out in the living room, must have been drunk dialing, don't know who but this morning I pressed redial and got a fast busy which means I didn't call anybody.

I made it through day 1, I am not going to see her tonight, will blow her off again and decide where to go from here tomorrow.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

You know what a dog does when it vomits? It leaves it's barf alone on the ground for a while until it comes back to it and gobbles it up again because it thinks it's something fresh and new. Don't go back to your old vomit. Just pull the plug MAC. Find someone or something else to occupy yourself with. Spin more plates and don't talk to this psycho any more.

 

[Vulpine]

Have you ever seen the movie "Christine" about the possesed car? There is a line from it that, if you apply it, will save you so much wasted time in your life:

"You can't polish a turd."

Think about that long and hard, MacAvoy. Maybe make it your mantra for a while.

You know how women get all primped and preened to go out? Sure, they're hot... until you start talking to them. The first thing that runs through my head is that line: "You can't polish a turd."

Sometimes I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud.


My second favorite line of all time is what Dorothy asks the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz:

"What would you do with a brain if you had one?"

But, I don't think that line is really appropriate here.

 

[MacAvoy]

OK now I remember your situation. MAC, the only way you're going to regain any semblance of power at this stage is to take it back for yourself and LEAVE THIS PSYCHOTIC B!TCH ONCE AND FOR ALL.

How long MAC? How long have you spent living in this hell? How long has this child been controling you? How long are you going to allow this to continue? What's it going to take? Will you assume control of your own life voluntarily or will it end with you swallowing a bullet?

Hell? Who said anything about it being hell? I've enjoyed the ride up until the situation with her parents? Basically this is the only issue with this women. Granted its a fairly large issue. The thing is if you keep moving on because of an issue, you will never have a relationship that lasts. Relationships are about compromise and putting up with sh1t that you don't like. Its a question of when does it become too much.

This child has not controlled me. With exception to the parents break up, I have controlled where this relationship has gone. I've upselled myself and made her fall in love with me. I am happy with my life and think your being a little melodramatic with the bullet comment. I'm far from a RAFC.

I'm glad you subscribe to my Cardinal Rule of Relationships, but you are the powerless one in this relationship. Let me explainsomething to you about the nature of power; Power isn't about controlling is the degrothers. Power ee to which you have control over your own life and your own direction. Sometimes this involves directing other people to act in accordance with what you want, but real power comes from being able to freely make your own decisions without being constrained by others. You have the key to your own fukking jail cell MAC, all you have to do is use it to free yourself.

Your twisting words and focusing on a different definition instead of talking about the subject at hand. The topic was the Cardinal Rule of RELATIONSHIPS. You went off in a tangent about personal power, which I don't disagree with. Wheres this jail cell your talking about? More drama that leads no where.

You know what you need to do, you simply can't pull the trigger, you want somone else to pull you out of this so you have some sense of validation. No one can do this for you MAC, you have to do it yourself. I know, because I was you in a former life.

I am not prepared to throw in the towel on this one just yet. She is a good catch aside from the can't break from the parents situation. However I am not jumping in with both feet. I've taken a laid back approach and the risk / reward ratio is still in the positive.

This girl is manipulating you MAC, only you enjoy the manipulation. It's your drug. One that you'll travel 1200 miles for, one that you'll put off your daughter for, one that you'll paralyze your life for.

There was alot more to the move than her. It was about getting away from my life in Ontario. I've got a world of memories that I wouldn't trade for a million bux but that lifestyle was with my youth, and unfortunately, I can't escape that in Ontario. No matter where I go, there will always be someone pulling me back in. I am weak and can't say no. That much I know.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Well it sounds like everything is just fine then MAC, you know best. Hey, why not take it one step further and buy her a ring tonight? She deserves it, right? I mean, hey, it doesn't sound like you're compromising too much, right?

Why put off the inevitable, it's not like you aren't crazy about each other. I'm sure her family would welcome you with open arms and love you as a son. Just forget about all those other little misgivings you had with her in the past, they're just part of your maturing together anyway.

Far be it from me to impede your happiness together.

 

[Tazman]

Its like puttin up with hell but I tell ya once I get my pants off, its heaven on earth.

I think this pretty much sums up your relationship. You get yourself stuck in a rut and you end up with her living a miserable life or she dumps you and you lose even more of what little dignity you had for putting up with her for so long. You're not alone in this of course, many guys do the exact same thing for *****, but it isn't solely that, it's because they feel they don't deserve better.....

 

[MacAvoy]

Well it sounds like everything is just fine then MAC, you know best. Hey, why not take it one step further and buy her a ring tonight? She deserves it, right? I mean, hey, it doesn't sound like you're compromising too much, right?


Far be it from me to impede your happiness together.

Who's bein the women now? You keep goin melodratic on me. I'm tryin to have a debate here on apply DJ principles and you keep acting like a women, goin to extremes.

I think this pretty much sums up your relationship. You get yourself stuck in a rut and you end up with her living a miserable life or she dumps you and you lose even more of what little dignity you had for putting up with her for so long. You're not alone in this of course, many guys do the exact same thing for *****, but it isn't solely that, it's because they feel they don't deserve better.....

The thing is I don't have a miserable life. I am happier than a pig in sh1t with what I've done so far and achieved, I'm also content with where life is going.

Loss of dignity, maybe my blinders are on here but where have I lost my dignity? In this relationship I've always had my head up high and controlled my destiny; the only thing I don't have control over is her and her relationship with her parents, when faced with that situation, I did the right thing, agreed with her, moved out and kept my dignity.

I know I deserve to be happy, I don't have self esteem issues. I'm not settling for her, she has the qualities that I've laid out that I want in a LTR, I've had many women but I've had only a few that meet my standards for LTR.

 

[BobFuest]

look man, what everyone is trying to say and you are avoiding is the one simple fact we know is true; your playing her game. Your reacting to what she does instead of making her play your game.
ignoring her is a good start but WALKING THE FU_CK AWAY would be a better one. Why? your FBs. Shes not your woman shes your "buddy".
Look you want to win this one? you want to go down as king pimp? disappear. forget she exsits for 3 months. If it was meant to be she will still be wondering about you when you show up again. all your doing right now is winning the battle but still losing the war. Your afraid to lose her and I bet she can smell it. Dont you agree? isnt that why your still trying? your afraid "like a woman"

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Sweet Mother Mary! Do you even read the threads you start? Obviously the irony is completely lost on you so I'll spell it out in plain English - go back and read all the threads you've started over this nut job since September and tell me you don't have your head in your ass when you post sh!t like this:

Hell? Who said anything about it being hell? I've enjoyed the ride up until the situation with her parents?

Relationships are about compromise and putting up with sh1t that you don't like.

This child has not controlled me.

I am not prepared to throw in the towel on this one just yet. She is a good catch aside from the can't break from the parents situation.

I've got $10 here that says this chick 'accidentally' gets prgenant with your next kid, any takers?

 

[Nighthawk]

She dumped you because of her dad's blood pressure? And you bought this?

 

[Tazman]

As others have mentioned, your latest posts seem to contradict everything you've written about your situation. I mean, why post the problems you're having with this chick if you're going to turn around and pretend we've all been reading into something that doesn't exist? Check out the posts (you wrote) Rollo linked in his response.

This child has not controlled me. With exception to the parents break up, I have controlled where this relationship has gone. I've upselled myself and made her fall in love with me.

She SURELY doesn't sound like a woman who's in love, not by a long shot.

 

[Silkandsteel]

I think poor old MAC is in love here, not her. If she had an ounce of respect for you, she wouldn't be putting you through this sh!t at all. I think you have to ask yourself some hard questions, like:

-What do you REALLY want from this girl?

If it's just sex, then move on, it sounds like WAY too much extra crap for a piece of ass. Could you live without her? could you? if the answer is not a quick "yes" with this particular woman, then she has you by the emotional balls and can do anything she wants and you will react accordingly and you know what? she detests it.

She's down on herself to the point where she's ok with treating you like a sub-human because to her, YOU are lower than she is in life's pecking order.

You don't need this in your life man...ask yourself when the last time you were truly happy without it crashing down around you because of HER after a few hours...a woman should ADD VALUE to your existence, not detract from it.

- What has she done for you lately?

If it's a few emotionally high-priced orgasms, go see "palm and her 5 sisters"

Hate to hear about someone in this situation, I wish you all the best, sincerely.