How to regain my passion for life?

[Jariel]

Last year I had a major kick up the a$s. I realised that I had so little to offer my girlfriend and that I needed to take control of my life. With the help of The Law of Attraction, Napoleon Hill and other motivational speakers, I got fired up for life and found a drive I've never known before. I woke up every morning eager to get started with my day. I gave 100% to everything I did and tried to make every minute of every day count for something.

I started to love life! I set out to revive a side business and make it pay. I put so much work into it and it paid off! I started working for myself full time. Meanwhile, I was giving my all in the gym, I was passionate about life and learning and working towards a happier future for my girlfriend and I.

But later in the year my girlfriend and I broke up. I hit rock bottom, went through depression and got hooked on various prescription drugs. I've been picking myself up and I'm through the depression now, but I've totally lost my fire and enthusiasm for life.

My business is still in demand and I get work coming my way, but I tend to put a lot of it off and choose to just do nothing with my time, like watch films or play games. I admit that my girlfriend and our future together was my biggest inspiration last year and now I feel like I have no reason to push myself.

I keep trying to think of my future making more money, driving a nice car and having nice holidays, but it doesn't inspire me any more. So it's very hard to motivate myself towards a goal that doesn't really excite me.

I've tried revisiting all the motivational programs and books that inspired me last year, but nothing is having much effect.

I also seem to have this lack of energy. People have pointed out that I'm seriously laidback, but to the point of it being negative...as in they feel I just don't care much for life. And this is true. I find most of the day I'm tired and drained and keep wanting to take naps.

But having experienced this high motivation last year, I know if I can just get that back, I would regain my passion for life and my energy and it all has a snowball effect where things just keep getting better and better. I just can't seem to get started!

Can anyone give me some pointers here, ways to find energy, ways to get motivated? Anything will help at this point.

Thanks.

 

[fuko2007]

Hey Jariel, im sorry to hear about whats going on. You have given me tons of useful advice in the past. I hope this helps you some. I have been where you are before. I am learning to run the family business and its quite demanding and uses up alot of time. But there was a point to where i lost all my drive. I would put things off until they were piled high and i HAD to do them.

Even then it was hard because i felt as if i had no energy and just wanted to sit around and do nothing. I went got stuff for depression and got hooked. My friends all said i was like a zombie or on auto pilot. But this is what i want you to do. Go do something that you can see visible progress being made. Clean your house, cut grass, go to work and bust a** today. At the end of the day cook youself your favorite meal. This will begin to show yourself what it feels like again to do something good for YOU.

Then when have some free time reconnect with some old friends. Go do some things you used to like doing before you got into this state. I know it will be hard but you have to force youself sometimes. Also alot of times we think we are doing things for the right reason even when they are good things like you were doing. But we lose sight of the big picture that we are doing them for OURSELVES. Not our gf's or plates etc but we do them not only to survive but for us to be happy with ourselves.

Its easy to get lost in todays world of Tv and games and how everything is so easy to get. Sometimes we have to get back to basicis to find ourselves again. But i hope that tidbit helps, i would share more but getting busy in here. Hope you get better man.

 

[Jariel]

Thanks mate, I'll take on board everything you said here and I'm writing a list of small tasks I'm going to do today. A lot of the time I know what I need to do, but it feels like my body and mind just aren't upto the task.

You're absolutely right about pursuing goals for myself and not women, and as soon as this clicks, I know I'll be on target again. Since losing my ex (and her kids) I've been putting a lot of time into dating and pursuing women, hoping it will fill the emptiness. I've been having 2 -3 dates a week, which is good for practice and experience, but nothing is coming from them and that probably has a lot to do with my head being in the wrong place right now.

I think if I started doing things vice versa, getting my passion for life back and looking out for myself, the women may follow. That's how it's meant to be.

Thanks again for the reply.

 

[speed dawg]

First thing I noticed is that you were motivated by your girlfriend, not yourself. You've been a pretty 'liberal' type white knight poster for as long as I've been on this site. Hopefully you're starting to see the fallacy in that line of thinking.

Either way, I sort of suffer from the same thing about motivation from time to time, so I guess this bleeds across red pill/blue pill lines of thinking. Remember Squirrels? I don't think anybody knows what happened to him, last I saw he was contemplating suicide. I myself am pleasure centered by nature, maybe you are the same. Very easy to resort back to that if you're not careful. There's no easy way out of it, just know that doing a little hard work will be very rewarding on the other side of it all. Need to develop a set of principles to live by, instead of pleasure triggers. Those principles needs to be based on what YOU believe and want.

 

[n00bPimp]

Last year I had a major kick up the a$s. I realised that I had so little to offer my girlfriend and that I needed to take control of my life. With the help of The Law of Attraction, Napoleon Hill and other motivational speakers, I got fired up for life and found a drive I've never known before. I woke up every morning eager to get started with my day. I gave 100% to everything I did and tried to make every minute of every day count for something.

You set up goals for yourself. Nice.

I started to love life! I set out to revive a side business and make it pay. I put so much work into it and it paid off! I started working for myself full time. Meanwhile, I was giving my all in the gym, I was passionate about life and learning and working towards a happier future for my girlfriend and I.

This is what happens when you have a goal oriented mind, you shut off all emotions and just work towards your goal. This is what happiness is, living for your passions. It gets so much easier to get out of bed and it gets so much easier to ignore negativity. Optimism just flows from you because your mind is only occupied with achieving your goals.

But later in the year my girlfriend and I broke up. I hit rock bottom, went through depression and got hooked on various prescription drugs. I've been picking myself up and I'm through the depression now, but I've totally lost my fire and enthusiasm for life.

My business is still in demand and I get work coming my way, but I tend to put a lot of it off and choose to just do nothing with my time, like watch films or play games. I admit that my girlfriend and our future together was my biggest inspiration last year and now I feel like I have no reason to push myself.

You lost focus on your goals. The breakup distracted you from your goals.

I keep trying to think of my future making more money, driving a nice car and having nice holidays, but it doesn't inspire me any more. So it's very hard to motivate myself towards a goal that doesn't really excite me.

I've tried revisiting all the motivational programs and books that inspired me last year, but nothing is having much effect.

I also seem to have this lack of energy. People have pointed out that I'm seriously laidback, but to the point of it being negative...as in they feel I just don't care much for life. And this is true. I find most of the day I'm tired and drained and keep wanting to take naps.

This is due to your bad habits such as procrastination and prescription drug abuse. Bad habits are bad for your spirit. You know deep inside that these things are wrong and thats dragging you subconsciously. If you want to regain that drive and energy start by cultivating good habits such as getting things done right away and staying clean from substances, this will bring goodness to your spirit. Once you have your spirit in the right place, your drive to set big goals for yourself will come back.

But having experienced this high motivation last year, I know if I can just get that back, I would regain my passion for life and my energy and it all has a snowball effect where things just keep getting better and better. I just can't seem to get started!

Can anyone give me some pointers here, ways to find energy, ways to get motivated? Anything will help at this point.

Thanks.

Set big goals for yourself and occupy your mind with those goals only. Can you grow your business and double its size by this year? Make it an unrealistic goal. Think of a possible number that can be achieved if you really focus and put a lot of effort, and double that number. This must be your goal. Apply this to other areas of your life too. Make it your goal to bang x amount of chicks this year, or travel to x number of countries. Find the top things you are interested in achieving and set a quantifiable goal. something you can measure your progress against. Then use the tools from Napoleon Hill and all those books.

I recommend you get your hands on "Psycho cybernetics". Great book for your case. Its pretty much about having a life of goals. People that have a mentality of life being a thread-mill are depressed and feel stuck, while those that have the mentality that life is a marathon are happy and driven. One must always have goals, but most people can not achieve their goals because they have bad habits so they give up on their goals. Bad habits are what makes you give up early in the marathon. "The hell with this marathon let me go have a cigarette". Thus later on you feel bad about yourself for not having complete or half assing something you had you heart set on. Bad habits make you lose sight of your goals.

Good luck.

 

[Mistic]

Since I was 17 I have felt like this. I am an "old soul" for lack of a better term, so I am vey familiar with this world, and have never been much interested in it. Because of the incredibly diverse life I have lead, I feel like I have done everything there is to do. Achieved enough goals to realize that didn't bring happiness. Been very wealthy and very poor, living on park benches addicted to heroin, and came back from that to become an award winning writer and artist. I have played in bands with famous musicians like the drummer from Greatful Dead, Michael Kang from String cheese incident and grammy winning Chris Berry. The first time I got laid was wit h 2 20yo women in Bali on a surf trip with my dad, a legendary surfer, and an entire entourage of pro surfers and actors and other legendary characters.

I have lived between Hawaii my birthplace, and all over the world. Snowboarding, surfing, playing music, drinking ayahuasca with indians in the middle of the Amazon. I have never had a problem getting girls etc etc etc

So I find/found myself in a similar situation as you. The one thing I hadn't done is find the perfect girl for me. She has all the qualities I have been looking for and nothing that annoys me. I cant wait to see her everyday. It's been almost 2 years and its as fresh and new as the first month.

Anyone who knows me or followed any of my post would know I never intended on being in a relationship. But it was the one thing, even though I had been married in the past, that I never did. Give 100% of myself to the right person. It makes everything better and easier.

You just had the wrong girl. Have fun fuking a few now and work on yourself to the point you will be truly worthy of being with one of the rare few truly quality women on this planet. While you are at it always be doing something creative.

 

[englishman]

Sounds like you might still be depressed. No motivation, or energy and wanting to take naps sounds like depression.
I've been same in the past all fired up when Im excited about a women... in the end though better to find that steady burn rather than the highs and lows.

 

[Huffman]

I can offer no condolences, but I've heard a psychologist say: "Depressions are natural. It's an important process that your mind uses do deal with all kinds of subconscious problems".

Of course something has to happen and the depression must end, but try to let go for a bit, knowing you're not worthless at all.

 

[Tomo]

I always cycle through highs and lows and the lows have been pretty low where I end up like yourself doing nothing mate. I've found it's almost always 99% in your head so that is where you need to clear things up but that takes time and that is what you have to give yourself and don't try to push it but know you will get over this.

In the mean time, I found routine was the best way to push myself out of my ruts. It's funny, when I'd be in a relationship, the routine would be gone and when a HB left me, it would not be until I got back into said routine that I'd be feeling good again. I.e. this would involve making regular time planned trips to the gym, grocery store and even the allocation of time to see friends and not even think about dating. The best way to start? place your alarm clock away from the bed and always set it for a good early morning start. From there it's just a matter of forcing yourself to get up when you already have and then push through the day.

Much like the saying 'Rome was not built overnight' I think our modern society places too much emphasis on the 'I want this now'. Be patient but get yourself out there.

Hope that helps - I've never been one to word things well but I hope you get better man and cheers for the advice you have given me over the times I have poster!

 

[backseatjuan]

1st fing rule of this site and our community and our way of life, women are nothing, they come and go.

Thus it matters not what you offer her, it matter what she offers you.

But don't let us get this far. What you need for kick in the ass is to realize yourself.

What can you offer yourself?

Picture this scenario. You got a job, it's a job, it's a drag, but you get paid, oh well. I bet that is your life, and it sux gay balls. :flowers:

Now picture this, you open up a business, you eager to go to work each day, stay there till late, you don't make much now, but you are still happy and know that it will get better with time. This is what you need from your life to be happy.

SIMPLER, you need to live your life, not just get through it.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Can anyone give me some pointers here, ways to find energy, ways to get motivated? Anything will help at this point.

Yes move to a 3rd world country, marry a good quality woman and then find out that its hard as fvck to get her home and that you might be stuck. Upon returning home, you will be happy just to eat clean food and breathe clean air. The 3rd world makes you appreciate the little things in life and gives you a new appreciation for all of the wonderful things the 1st world countries still have to offer.