How to react? Caught her wanting to cheat

twistedgreen

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The other day my long term gf/roommate and I got in a fight because she didn't want to share any of the pizza she made with me. I said fine but then when she asked me to cover her for a few bucks at the convenience store I thought, what nerve that she expects me to still do her favours, so I said forget it.

Since then (two days) we have been barely talking. Just the necessities. She is also sleeping on the couch at nights rather than in bed with me. She even covers up and goes into the bathroom to get changed.

She has also been browsing "Yahoo Personals" on the internet, looking for dating websites on google, and all that stuff (it's right in the internet history....) She started THAT NIGHT, what a *****, earlier that same day she asked me to bring her a treat when I went out in the morning (she was still sleeping) and I bought her some chocolate stuff. A few hours later she's whoring herself out online.

Well it really pisses me off....I don't even care that much for her because she's always acting immature like this, but now that she's my roommate I gotta live with her... I don't know if I can find another roommate for this place too quickly so I need her money.

I don't know what I should do. I don't feel that she's really appreciated me, ever. Even when things were good her sex drive was always low (even though she looks at lots of porn), and she was always checking out other guys on the streets.

I feel like I should get a hotter girl and make out with her and rub it in her face. She would probably consider that "cheating" since we didn't actually break up, but WTF with the Yahoo Personals? I think she "cheated" first.

I'm so angry I just want to throttle her. I don't even know any hot chicks right now, but maybe I should find one on Yahoo Personals, do you think she'd get the irony???
:D
 

Good_ol_boy

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"Even when things were good her sex drive was always low (even though she looks at lots of porn), and she was always checking out other guys on the streets. "

Perhaps she just needed a place to stay and consideded sex as "part of the rent"??
 

KiInCollege

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Technically, she's not cheating. We men look at women on the street all the time. You didn't describe her acting on any of the personals that she found.

Instead of avoiding her, lay your pride down and have a talk with her. You're living with her, so just be direct since you guys are probably done with being emotionally upset and say,

"Hey, I don't want it to be like this. When we decided to move in together I thought we'd be happy together. I still do...let's not fight because of a pizza."
I get in fights with my girl all the time. I understand that when she's heated up and emotional, there isn't **** I can do about it for a few hours. But I know I must speak with her later and get her to realize I just want to be with her, and a stupid argument for no good reason every once in awhile isn't a good reason to break up.

Don't make something out of nothing.
 

Donny Brasco

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She might be looking for attention...

She could be playing with you to see how you react...

Low sex drive and looks at porn???

Your in a tough situation pal, but here is some advice...

A) You could ask her to redefine your relationship and find out whats going on in that head of hers, act all afc and see if you can get lucky and get her IL back up.

B) You could continue to ignore her, belittle her and generally make both of your lives a living hell until one of you snaps and breaks down or you end up in one of those happy murder/suicide endings

C) You could tell her you think its nice you moved from lovers to roomates and you are going out with someone else for a while, does she mind if you bring her back there?? And could she not leave her panites in the living room and maybe clean up a bit when you bring this girl home to shag. Ask her if she thinks the other girl will feel akquard (sp?) if she knows your lovong with your ex and your going to shag her while your ex listens from the couch. And then ask her if you look nice when you're about to leave. Then go out. Have some fun, see what she says.

I doubt any of this will work, but you have nothing to lose it sounds like...your phucked.
 

Quick

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To me, part of the committed relationship contract is that you don't go looking for another relationhip before you end the one you're currently in. If you do, that's considered cheating, whether that's online or in person. If she would consider a guy online, she would consider it if I guy approached her in real life.

One thing I think you need to realize is that she didn't decide to leave your relationhip because of the fight... unless she's super, super, super immature. It's more likely that your fights are a symptom of the fact that she has doubts about your relationship. The stupid fights and stupid requests are her way of testing you and trying to create a legitimate reason for leaving you. I'm basing that off of things i've seen and personal experience with a girlfriend/roommate. At least mine had the practicality to wait until the last month of the lease to cheat. Still, except for the "goodbye, *****" sex, it was an uncomfortable two weeks.

As far as handling this, you can either wait her out or you can talk to her. The waiting her out part means you become as hostile as her and see which one of you snaps first. You can even leave her a little note that says she should check out apartments.com before she checks out yahoo personals.

Or you can swallow your anger and talk to her. Tell her you saw she was visiting relationship sites and ask her if she's planning on ending your relationship. Tell her you're mad, but you care about her and still want to be with her. Tell her you want to have better communication with her, and you're willing to work at it if she is. But you're not going to be okay if she deals with issues in your relationship by looking for the quickest way out of it. Tell her if she wants out that you guys can handle it like adults. You'll help her look for a new apartment if she helps you look for a roommate.

If that last speech doesn't work in either getting the two of you to make up or for her to state clearly that she wants out, then you go back to the first option.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

FlyGuy

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One thing I think you need to realize is that she didn't decide to leave your relationhip because of the fight... unless she's super, super, super immature. It's more likely that your fights are a symptom of the fact that she has doubts about your relationship. The stupid fights and stupid requests are her way of testing you and trying to create a legitimate reason for leaving you. I'm basing that off of things i've seen and personal experience with a girlfriend/roommate. At least mine had the practicality to wait until the last month of the lease to cheat. Still, except for the "goodbye, *****" sex, it was an uncomfortable two weeks.
Quick, that is MONEY! I've been through this personally and I agree with you 100%

Twistedgreen: listen to quick.
 

twistedgreen

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Thanks guys, what you've said really all does sound pretty reasonable, I guess I just reacted hotheadedly, my pride was really hurt by that Yahoo Personals stuff. I think I'll wait and see if she wants to "talk about it", she usually does.

Although I am really having doubts that I want to continue this on a relationship level. Things haven't been good and I think I can do better. Guess she thinks she can too. It would just be polite to wait until this is over first is all.
 

Slickster

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Originally posted by twistedgreen
Even when things were good her sex drive was always low (even though she looks at lots of porn), and she was always checking out other guys on the streets.
From personal experience this is ******** for:

"I love sex but not with you"

Kick her a$$ out!
 

STR8UP

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If there's ONE THING I've learned about dealing with women, it is that you should ALWAYS trust your instincts, they will never steer you wrong.
 

Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

JustDoItAlways

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Low Sex Drive is deal-breaker for me.

I know most of you guys have a hard time accepting it but I've been around the block enough for a marathon. There are just low drive women and high drive women.

Do not settle for a low drive chick. She will not change as long as she's with you. Maybe the next biker she meets, but with you the pattern is set. I have never been with any girl where her sex drive has ever changed, either lower or higher.
 

htemorp

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How you get to be in this pathetic situation arguing about a slice of pizza and few dollars worth of change, I don't know. Is it worth saving, in my opinion, NO.
 

1utfan1

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Originally posted by STR8UP
If there's ONE THING I've learned about dealing with women, it is that you should ALWAYS trust your instincts, they will never steer you wrong.
This advice right here (since i've started listening to it more) is friggin gold!!! Trust your instincts Green!
 

CGE333

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I agree with what Quick said his post is right on the money and I have lived through exactly what he said- only she took the immature route while I took the AFC route. I would take his advice and follow it. Like most arguments in relationships this one is more about power than anything else. Do the mature thing and whichever way this ends up it will be better being mature and up front about everything. Hey maybe you can get some makeup sex after the talk :)
 

TesuqueRed

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Too many red flags to begin with, I wonder that you
1) got involved with her;
2) let her become a roommate.

Now that she has added more red flags, I wonder that you
1) don't kick her out immediately;
2) you think of getting her jealous, getting revenge--as in staying involved with her.

How many more red flags do you need? That's not a rhetorical question--give an answer. 4 more red flags? 5?

I understand the money thing. You may have to get a second job, or a third, or move back home temporarily, who knows. Or accept that she will remain and let her bring guys home after you two break up.

You'll get fvcked in more ways than just for the $$$ if you keep her around any longer or stay involved with her any longer in any fashion. You made a few mistakes getting involved with her in the first place and making her a roommate (and doing it for the $$$ only confuses things) -- so don't keep making more mistakes keeping her around and messing with her.
 

J-Man

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shes a bytch. shes insulting you. you have every god damn right to be pissed. dont be a pvssy. start banging that wh0re again or get her out of your fvcking life. plus, by being pissed and aggresive, it will actually turn her on, so youll probably end the whole porn/guy/personal thing.

you know your pissed, so why "swallow your anger"? give the bytch what she deserves. besides, thats what she wants. thats what turns her on.
 
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