How to put a girl in her place?

[TheRagingBull]

What's up Don Juans?!

I'm a recovering nice guy who decided to not be disrespected anymore, by no one, because... **** that shyt. I'm playing around with calling girls out on bull**** behavior more often with surprisingly positive reactions. A couple of days ago I lost a plate (if you can even call it a plate) and was wondering how some of you guys had played this one out.

I've gone on 3 dates with this girl and damn, she's sexy. I'm pretty sure she was really into me. (we had sex and vibed really well) BUT she was such a ****ing pain in the ass with texting. It took her often more than 1 day to text back--so when the day comes we would tentatively see each other she hadn't replied yet. I called her out on this in person and of course "that's what my friends also say about me blablabla."

Anyway, we agree on a Wednesday through text to meet up on Friday, and I ask if she's down for live music or watching comedy... No reply yet on Thursday evening. It was pissing me off so I thought I sent her a text with something along the lines like "I don't give a **** about sophisticated/witty texts, just send me a retarted yes or no before we're again too late to meet on Friday". (she likes to send quite witty texts with perfect grammar) She didn't reply--alas, I lost her completely.

I suppose what I'm showing her with this texts is neediness and too much emotion of what she's doing, however, I just didn't want to deal with this bull**** behavior anymore. Do mind that this was a really cool and hot girl, would love to still have around her, except meeting up with her was just a pain in the ass. I like to believe it's not even low interest from her side but maybe that's my ego talking.

I guess there would've been 3 things I could've done.
1. Playing her game and taking forever to text back and be a pain in the ass back.
2. Drop her because she's showing low interest
3. My plan of action to tell her she's a mother****ing bitchzzz

What would you guys have done in this situation? And in general, how do you keep your girls in their place?

 

[TheRagingBull]

Damn, it's already good to be on this forum! I thought this as well but it's good to hear from others.

It's just difficult to accept she has low interest in me because, you know, I'm TheRagingBull!

You think there would actually be something that could change this behavior of hers--or just her having a higher IL? There must be some chicks out there who just suck at texting or is that just me?

 

[TheRagingBull]

Withdrawal of attention is always the best move - for you.

Thank for the reply man, appreciated. Why is this always the best move?

 

[wolf]

Silence and Distance. It's the only way. Anything else is a loosing game.

 

[TheRagingBull]

I'm actually a European living in Malaysia and am dismissing girls left and right, but I'm having a very difficult time to find one who's sexy, cool, and has some brains.

Finding this is rare and lowered my criteria for other things... But like samspade said, "what's cool about her?" is spot on. When we're together it's good, but when we're not she's not respecting me how I want, so time to let her go.

Difficult to not let your penis take over your thoughts when there's a serious hot girl involved.

 

[TheRagingBull]

The pain is temporary. The feeling of self love will take over in time. Youre training your mind to transmute pain into self love through a process of realization. When your mind finally gets that you are doing the right thing by dismissing disrespect, you will no longer feel pain but a sense of pride in the future.

Everytime I am confused, I stop myself and think "fvck it. Dismiss," and I swear the chicks always stop playing games, lol. Women need hard boundaries.

Even if she leaves, if the next guy does the same then eventually she will see the error of her ways. So be the starter. Be the spark that may lead to her enlightenment. It had to start somewhere.

Sometimes the universe push bratty women into me just so I can dismiss them so that they would get a dose of medicine.

That's right, the universe doesn't even give me women to fvck anymore. It gives me women to mold, lol. It's a thankless job but someone has to do it.

Once you've shown a level of integrity, life will use you to enlightened others until all candles are lit. Nobody lives on an island all to themselves.

I'm trying to create hard boundaries and is probably the main reason why I created this thread. So whenever you feel disrespected, you dismiss it--you walk away?

Are there times you would "fight" back? For me especially when other guys disrespect me, I will verbally fight back. I'm done with being the nice guy; if they ask they can get it, fvck them.

 

[TheRagingBull]

Update: Just put this girl in Anti-Dump's Machine and the machine goes: KKKKKKRRRRRRRRRR.

Fvck, the machine grated her into a small meatball. As revenge for wasting my precious time I decided to eat her. Damnnn, revenge tastes good!

 

[TheRagingBull]

Because your attention, or lack thereof, is your ultimate weapon. Women love attention and hate indifference. If they receive negative attention from you, i.e. lectures, anger, insults, this is still attention, just not as good as positive attention. She'll figure you act like this because you care (and she'll be right). If a woman can't have the man she wants showering her with love, she'll at least always have other men short-circuiting over her.

A micro-version of this is the "some guy catcalled me today" cliche. She won't reward the catcall, but she'll use it to puff up her image ("I am hot enough to be catcalled by some idiot.")

I noticed you said you're from Europe and in Malaysia. I don't know anything about Malaysia but how long have you been there? Is it possible there are different social norms at play? That would be my only caveat, but you should still expect respect and not flippancy.

This is money! Makes total sense and should've just ignored her.

I'm here since a couple of months. She's from Malaysia but studied abroad and has a quite international mindset, so I don't think her social norms are that much different. I guess it's just the way she is and nothing is gonna change that, or it's low IL; either way doomed to fail.

Being here just makes it a bit more difficult to find a girl who's educated and at least shares some of my European/Western values. Getting laid by Asian girls is simple as hell though, finding one to hang out for longer than a couple of hours is a different story. Good side and bad side.

 

[Atom Smasher]

@TheRagingBull A constructive comment here: I noticed a pretty serious weakness in your game, but it's easy to fix. You asked "Are you down for live music or watching comedy?"

This is a serious no-no when it comes to women. They absolutely hate being presented with a choice. The early stages of a relationship are all about the woman submitting to your leadership. Giving her a choice of what to do (this early in the relationship) devalues you in her eyes. Take this to the bank, my friend. It's far better for you to decide, and for you to say "I'm going to this event on Thursday. I'd like you to come with me" or similar.

Women are deeply attracted to a man who makes decisions for her. They have a strong aversion to decision-making, and in fact a man of decision who tells her what you two are going to be doing is hugely attractive to them. They are internally repulsed by being presented with a decision as to what you two will be doing. In fact, this is an extremely strong trigger-point for them.

Woman are desperately searching for a man they can look up to, and that means a man who takes control and makes decisions.

"Thanks for letting me decide" said no woman, ever.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Welcome aboard.

My advice will differ from others, but I *guarantee* that it will help.

Most of us here have had that 'light-bulb' moment. It's that moment when we realize that we made undeserving concessions for a woman (or women). The next step as being the "recovering nice guy." There's that moment of realizing that we were being taken for granted, taken advantage of and feeling foolish for allowing it to occur in the first place.

And yes, I also speak from having the above experience.

Currently, you're at the "pendulum" stage. It's a natural process and the best thing is to recognize it and work through it. Otherwise, it'll be a liability. I'll explain.

If you look at the typical angry feminist, their history is a bit different. Many of these women, either grew up in abusive environments or married into one. When they finally had an "ah-ha" moment, they quickly shift toward the opposite end of the pendulum. They never want to be in that vulnerable spot again, and so they swiftly went to the complete opposite side.
From a feminist woman's perspective, they may suddenly feel "strong" and "empowered" ... but from a man's perspective, how alluring are these specific women? Not very... right?

Unfortunately, most feminist women cling to one side of that pendulum and never allow the natural process of shifting back and forth, until finding the middle sweet spot. If you look on this forum, you'll also see a lot of angry men that also cling to one side of the pendulum; also never allowing the pendulum to swing back and forth - until reaching comfortable middle-ground,

With this current woman of yours, she does sound a bit smug. However, also recognize that part of your investment/reaction toward her ... is also carried over from some past unpleasant circumstances of yours. It's natural. You're human just like the rest of us.
The “nice guy in recovery” has two choices. He can either blame women for his past regrets and remain better (toward the past and toward future women) . Or, he can recognize his former contributions to the past unpleasant outcomes and work on himself.

By doing the latter, you’ll find that sweet-spot and eventually be in a good place, It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.

 

[TheRagingBull]

@TheRagingBull A constructive comment here: I noticed a pretty serious weakness in your game, but it's easy to fix. You asked "Are you down for live music or watching comedy?"

This is a serious no-no when it comes to women. They absolutely hate being presented with a choice. The early stages of a relationship are all about the woman submitting to your leadership. Giving her a choice of what to do (this early in the relationship) devalues you in her eyes. Take this to the bank, my friend. It's far better for you to decide, and for you to say "I'm going to this event on Thursday. I'd like you to come with me" or similar.

Women are deeply attracted to a man who makes decisions for her. They have a strong aversion to decision-making, and in fact a man of decision who tells her what you two are going to be doing is hugely attractive to them. They are internally repulsed by being presented with a decision as to what you two will be doing. In fact, this is an extremely strong trigger-point for them.

Woman are desperately searching for a man they can look up to, and that means a man who takes control and makes decisions.

"Thanks for letting me decide" said no woman, ever.

Thanks for pointing that out. I was, however, never gonna let her decide which one of the two options. In my text, it was implied she would just have to say a "yes" or "no". Might still be a bit ambiguous now I think of it.

Do you think it's still better to push your own ideas even if she might not like them? Would that compensate for you being this man who takes lead, someone who she can look up to, even though this time you might take something she wouldn't enjoy that much?

 

[TheRagingBull]

Welcome aboard.

My advice will differ from others, but I *guarantee* that it will help.

Most of us here have had that 'light-bulb' moment. It's that moment when we realize that we made undeserving concessions for a woman (or women). The next step as being the "recovering nice guy." There's that moment of realizing that we were being taken for granted, taken advantage of and feeling foolish for allowing it to occur in the first place.

And yes, I also speak from having the above experience.

Currently, you're at the "pendulum" stage. It's a natural process and the best thing is to recognize it and work through it. Otherwise, it'll be a liability. I'll explain.

If you look at the typical angry feminist, their history is a bit different. Many of these women, either grew up in abusive environments or married into one. When they finally had an "ah-ha" moment, they quickly shift toward the opposite end of the pendulum. They never want to be in that vulnerable spot again, and so they swiftly went to the complete opposite side.
From a feminist woman's perspective, they may suddenly feel "strong" and "empowered" ... but from a man's perspective, how alluring are these specific women? Not very... right?

Unfortunately, most feminist women cling to one side of that pendulum and never allow the natural process of shifting back and forth, until finding the middle sweet spot. If you look on this forum, you'll also see a lot of angry men that also cling to one side of the pendulum; also never allowing the pendulum to swing back and forth - until reaching comfortable middle-ground,

With this current woman of yours, she does sound a bit smug. However, also recognize that part of your investment/reaction toward her ... is also carried over from some past unpleasant circumstances of yours. It's natural. You're human just like the rest of us.
The “nice guy in recovery” has two choices. He can either blame women for his past regrets and remain better (toward the past and toward future women) . Or, he can recognize his former contributions to the past unpleasant outcomes and work on himself.

By doing the latter, you’ll find that sweet-spot and eventually be in a good place, It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.

YES, this is very much true. I know I'm sometimes a bit more of an ******* than I want to become at the end of the road. Thing is, I was never really an *******, so I feel I should lean into it a bit more than I want to be--to make myself comfortable with people thinking I'm a bit of a **** and also to show myself that I can. It might be a bit fake and pretentious, but I do believe that the quickest way to learn something is to go into extremes. Of course, I want to get back in balance eventually.

I do think you're making a strong point here that I should be careful about how I THINK about the girls I'm with. Me being an ******* is much different of course than me becoming bitter towards people. Funny thing is that when I was a nice guy I wasn't bitter towards people, I just saw me being "nice" didn't work. Now I'm becoming less and less "nice" I've got more clear boundaries when I feel people disrespect me--which is not unoften. When people--men and women--disrespect me it pisses me off nowadays. I AM actually becoming more bitter towards people, probably because I see more of their true colors which I was too ignorant to see before.

I guess my next learning step should be to accept that there will always be some people (strangers) who will disrespect me in different shapes and forms, and when that happens to immediately dismiss them instead of agonizing about them.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

If a girl does respond but it's late (like day of plans) just say, "You took too long and I made other plans. Maybe some other night." And then don't text for a week or two.

This is what I do though I word it a bit differently. When she responds really late like that, I’ll say, “Hey I ended up making other plans when I didn’t back from you. But let’s get together another night soon.” And then I let her bring up getting together and which night.

I also have a hard time believing women who say they are bad at texting. Every woman I know is married to her phone and constantly in social media, texting, etc. I GUESS there are some women out there who don’t but I have yet to see these unicorns in the wild. So I treat women who are slow responders as I treat women who have low interest: by not investing much in them.

 

[Clamslammer]

What's up Don Juans?!

I'm a recovering nice guy who decided to not be disrespected anymore, by no one, because... **** that shyt. I'm playing around with calling girls out on bull**** behavior more often with surprisingly positive reactions. A couple of days ago I lost a plate (if you can even call it a plate) and was wondering how some of you guys had played this one out.

I've gone on 3 dates with this girl and damn, she's sexy. I'm pretty sure she was really into me. (we had sex and vibed really well) BUT she was such a ****ing pain in the ass with texting. It took her often more than 1 day to text back--so when the day comes we would tentatively see each other she hadn't replied yet. I called her out on this in person and of course "that's what my friends also say about me blablabla."

Anyway, we agree on a Wednesday through text to meet up on Friday, and I ask if she's down for live music or watching comedy... No reply yet on Thursday evening. It was pissing me off so I thought I sent her a text with something along the lines like "I don't give a **** about sophisticated/witty texts, just send me a retarted yes or no before we're again too late to meet on Friday". (she likes to send quite witty texts with perfect grammar) She didn't reply--alas, I lost her completely.

I suppose what I'm showing her with this texts is neediness and too much emotion of what she's doing, however, I just didn't want to deal with this bull**** behavior anymore. Do mind that this was a really cool and hot girl, would love to still have around her, except meeting up with her was just a pain in the ass. I like to believe it's not even low interest from her side but maybe that's my ego talking.

I guess there would've been 3 things I could've done.
1. Playing her game and taking forever to text back and be a pain in the ass back.
2. Drop her because she's showing low interest
3. My plan of action to tell her she's a mother****ing bitchzzz

What would you guys have done in this situation? And in general, how do you keep your girls in their place?

You calling her out scared her off and made her feel unsafe around you. She already liked you and you got the bang. After the bang session you got a little taste and got excited thus chased her. After having sex for the first time you should let her reach out to you so you can set a date. I bet you reached out to her right?

 

[TheRagingBull]

You calling her out scared her off and made her feel unsafe around you. She already liked you and you got the bang. After the bang session you got a little taste and got excited thus chased her. After having sex for the first time you should let her reach out to you so you can set a date. I bet you reached out to her right?

Yup... It was me. The more I think about this situation the more I realize how needy I was and how much I was chasing her. Good learnings. I think it's actually a good thing she was so hot because it makes me reflect much more on how I lost her. Gonna take it all with me for next time!

 

[purple haze]

A week ago I rejected a chick for taking longer than 10 minutes to reply, lol. I don't have a 10 minute rule or anything but she was texting me incessantly as if we were having a live conversation and then she went dead silent for 10 minutes as soon as we started to negotiate the date. After that I took back my offer and canceled the date.

It's best to come from the place of dating how you want to rather than trying to figure out what the right move is. I don't have a compass that tells me when to engage or dismiss. I just do whatever I feel is respectful to myself. That's it. And this principle has never failed me.

After awhile, having a short fuse with women will show up in your presence. I remember one time a chick in my social circle was giving me eye contact. I looked at her as if I was saying "fvck your eye contact. I don't give a damn about your validation. It does nothing for me. All that matters is satisfying my penis."

I didn't say anything. I just looked at her and thought those words. And let me tell you that women are psychic because she felt that she was close to being dismissed by me for all of eternity just for eye fvcking me (lol) and she immediately came over to me and invited me over for dinner. That was my price.

The key to doubling your dating is to raise your price. I reject women for even seemingly positive things. It's because I no longer have patience to play the long drawn out game. And women can tell just by looking at me what my demands are.

The higher your price, the higher your percieved value. Women don't value guys that are easy. And I'm not talking about playing a challenge to make women chase.

I am talking about having standards for how women should behave around you and dismissing them for not measuring up. This is totally different than trying to fake being a challenge.

I am talking about being authentic. I sincerely hate the eye contact game. I hate long and drawn out getting to know you processes, I hate dates that feel like job interviews, and I hate women that act murky. So I disqualify all of them and only date the way I want to.

To the amateur he might think this is a recipe for weeding out all women. But from my experience, when a woman values you, she will be more than happy to meet your standards. In fact, she will more likely appreciate you because she knows that your validation is exclusive. And what's exclusive is rare. And what's rare is valuable.

I agree about the "eye contact game." Also the "smile from a distance" game. I've learned these mean low interest.

 

[Glassguy]

OP- you put a woman in her place by having OTHER options, a strong frame and using Silence and Distance if she is not respectful.

Lastly, you must have the ability to walk away (like really ditch her...not just as a ploy).

Most guys DONT have other options so they are dead in the water. See women have many options if they have value. Guys should do the same thing.

If you start out with a weak frame, make the common mistakes, ALLOW her to be disrespectful and non submitting over time, you will NEVER be able to turn the tide with THAT woman and MUST move on.

 

[andreihaha]

How to put a girl in her place?

Pick her up and place her in the kitchen.

I'm always useful.

 

[Clamslammer]

Yup... It was me. The more I think about this situation the more I realize how needy I was and how much I was chasing her. Good learnings. I think it's actually a good thing she was so hot because it makes me reflect much more on how I lost her. Gonna take it all with me for next time!

Next time remain centered. Who cares if she takes 1 day, 1 week, or 1 year to respond you are a man who has options and on his purpose. Most if not all guys do what you did thats why girls do what they do to weed out the weak bi**ches. The bettet looking the girl the more she will test you.

If you didnt blow her out she would have likely responded on Friday, but since you are a man with options you would have told her that you had plans for friday since you are not waiting around for a$$ but you are free Sunday or whatever day you are free. She would have likely agreed.

 

[rart]

Being able to walk away without any arguments or explanations is the only thing that will put a woman in her place.

I have been dating a woman for 1.5 years. I started with her as a compete beta. Told her i loved her, showered with gifts, was always available. She texted with her multiple Xs, bossed me around, etc. Sex was great and it kept me hooked.

Finally i had enough, cooled way off, started seeing other women and kept her as a plate. And what do you know, she started chasing me. Now all i hear from her is how sorry she is for not respecting me, how she can't be without me.

Appealing to a woman's reason never works, only your actions do.