How to properly show interest in girls (without looking AFC)

[jwchin]

Hi guys

I was just wondering how you show interest in girls without looking like an AFC.

In the past, I have approached women and gotten their phone numbers. I usually wait about 5-7 days to call them back. When I talk to them on the phone it lasts for a few minutes. The conversations usually go like this:

Fluff talk
ME: I wanted to TAKE you out for a drink/dinner/movie/etc. on whatever night.
HER: Sure.
Then I set up a date and time, and get her address so I can pick her up.

(The reason why I say TAKE is because I want them to know that it's a date and not just a friendly get-together. I only call to set up dates, never just to chit chat.)

When I actually go on these dates, I act like a gentlemen (opening doors, pulling out chairs), I apply kino (guiding her thru doors; touching rings, earring, watches, necklaces, arms and her hair), get the girls to talk about themselves, C+F, and keep a fun, carefree attitude. I conclude all my dates by walking the girl to her door and giving them a hug.

The problem is that when I go in for more (eg. holding hands, kissing, putting arm around thier waist), they will pull away or turn their head. They will usually say things like, "I didn't even know you were interested in me." I think that in their minds they look at the time we spend together as just "hanging out" with a cool new stranger.

I know that this probably means that they have low-medium interest in me. But what other steps do you guys do to show that you are interested in the girl without actually saying it?

Also, would it be AFC to ask questions like:
Tell me about your previous relationships?
What kind of characteristics do you look for in a bf?
What are your turn-ons and turn-offs?
Do you have a bf?

I apply these techniques to chinese girls, usually FOBS, I don't know if that is a factor or not. Also, these girls are not very experienced with relationships. They usually have had 1 or 0 bf's before.

jwchin

 

[AmatuerUKDJ]

Good post as I've experienced this with a couple of women. Would like to avoid this with the current girl situation I'm in...

 

[jwchin]

Bump

 

[bp1974]

Sounds like you're dating either very DUMB girls, or you're finding a run of professional daters who are in it because they're bored or whatever. I suspect the second one, in which case you're not doing anything wrong, except choosing the wrong women in the first place. But then that's why you date them, so they can show you they're the wrong women and you can NEXT them.

 

[deeman]

i hate professional daters

 

[Ratisson]

good job with the whole gentleman thing.

Dont hug them at the end, just go for the kiss

Ur turning them off because ur taking this hole kino thing a little too far. Let HER initiate the touching, let her touch u more than u touch her, don't hold hands...it's tooo AFC. If u must go in for kino i suggest u keep it to less private areas (eg; arm, shoulder)

Ur doing an overall good job because ur a challenge with these girl. U dont have to show interest, she knows u like her because ur taking her out. now that she knows u like her let her wonder how MUCH u like her.

These girl are probably professional daters, so next time u go out with one, take her mini-golfing and get some ice creap, if they complain that ur cheap than they just want to use ur.

Remember not to come on heavy by touching to much, u'll just end up turning her off.

 

[Demon of the Fall]

Hmmm... I guess you do it all right but like that dude Fingers said, you need to get more sensual as the date progresses... Like get closer to her and in the periods between her talking about herself and you being funny and stuff, just look into her eyes and put her off guard with a compliment.

It seems like the next step to me...

 

[CGE333]

All of these questions are AFC:

Also, would it be AFC to ask questions like:
Tell me about your previous relationships?
What kind of characteristics do you look for in a bf?
What are your turn-ons and turn-offs?
Do you have a bf?


I am no expert but it seems like you are trying to get too serious with the boyfriend thing too fast. Being a gentleman is a good thing and you should do that it helps set you apart from chumps. But in my opinion you need to concentrate on having fun with these girls. Make them think that they want you more than you want them. Part of what this site is about is keeping the focus on yourself. What do you care what characteristics she looks for, she probably doesn't know, and if she did she would probably lie. I think you should use C&F and kino them and make sure they have a great time. Forget about the hugging you can do that after she has rode your pole Use your judgement as to whether you should go for the kiss at the end of the date.

Again, most importantly just have as much fun as possible on these dates the key is that you want to portray that you want to just go out and have as much fun with her as possible and she is the one that should wonder how much you like her, if you two are going to be bf & gf, and she should also wonder if you two are going to be in a relationship. You seem too available- they want what the can't (or perceive/ believe or unsure) that they can get.