MoreThanSmooth
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
- Messages
- 1,021
- Reaction score
- 794
- Age
- 33
To help you out with "interest versus becoming an orbiter", I'll give you one of the most depressing things that's happened to me ever. Hopefully you can use it as a learning aid without going through being turned into a b*tch by a woman!
The worst and cringiest "Beta orbiter" moment I ever had was with this girl I was friends for 4 years with. She had a scrawny little dweeb of a BF the whole time but was always subtly hitting on me, telling me I was hot and all sorts. She even invited me up to meet her family alone at Christmas and even her folks seemed confused as to why she was treating me on the same level as her BF (as was I).
At the end of the day though, what was I getting? Nothing but occasional chit-chat. I met her family, but some weird looking loser was banging her. What was the point? This should have been the colossal red warning sign that I was getting eunuch'd, and would be in my more enlightened state.
Anyway this dweeb cheated on her and they broke up. She started behaving very irrationally, but invited me and a few friends to a party. She spent the whole night loudly telling us all about how many guys she was seeing on Tinder now and how desirable she was. When I left the room, her friend matched us both on Tinder without me knowing for a "joke".
She was very drunk, and proceeded to laugh and tell me, in front of everyone, that she didn't like me and frankly "definitely never wanted to match with "him" anyway". She essentially said "I will f*** any man in this world except for you, Smooth. LOL."
I was drunk too, so I couldn't even leave the house and drive home. I had to stay the night on the sofa - I didn't even escape the humiliation that night.
Probably the lowest I've ever felt, with relation to girls or even anything else. And it was all because I was naive, passive and ignorant of the ways women social proof.
I've never spoken to her in the years since, because:
1. F*** any woman (hell, person) that treats me that way. Trading a 4 year friendship for a BS moment of "I'm great and you're disgusting and below me"? Wow. BPD?
2. She showed me her phone that night and I was hotter than any of the Tinder douches she was getting. Unquestionably. One of them was a farmhand with half his teeth literally missing, ffs! She definitely fancied me or used to, she just decided to blow me off publically for social proof instead. Which shows I wasn't valued or respected.
TLDR:
What am I trying to say with this rambling cringefest?
- Don't be the "nice friend guy" who spends all his time being cool to hang around with but with no sexual escalation or activity. You will get orbited. Getting this girl to play with your dog for an hour while she rejects you at every turn is filling that "nice guy" role to a tee.
- If your average woman can turn you into her b*tch in public and treat you like garbage, she will. I learned this the hardest way. It elevates her social status at your expense (and she doesn't care about you). Publically telling you you're "just friends" after a car crash is treating you like a b*tch.
- A woman who has just broken up will behave very rudely and irrationally. You don't want to be around that.
- Some women become utterly desperate when they break up, to the point of bragging about Tinder matches (which is like fish in a barrel for an average looking woman). This means they're just going to be looking for sex with guys that don't even care about because they want zero attachment. Again, you don't want to be around that...because they're so unstable it's not even a sure thing that you'll get casual sex. And they're probably deeply depressed, too.
- NEVER LET SOMEONE COMPROMISE YOUR FRAME. This is the lesson I took away from this. Never again will I be emasculated like that in public - I wouldn't even be in this situation again, but if I was I would just call her pathetic and leave. Instead I was "nice" and didn't even say anything rude back to her.
The worst and cringiest "Beta orbiter" moment I ever had was with this girl I was friends for 4 years with. She had a scrawny little dweeb of a BF the whole time but was always subtly hitting on me, telling me I was hot and all sorts. She even invited me up to meet her family alone at Christmas and even her folks seemed confused as to why she was treating me on the same level as her BF (as was I).
At the end of the day though, what was I getting? Nothing but occasional chit-chat. I met her family, but some weird looking loser was banging her. What was the point? This should have been the colossal red warning sign that I was getting eunuch'd, and would be in my more enlightened state.
Anyway this dweeb cheated on her and they broke up. She started behaving very irrationally, but invited me and a few friends to a party. She spent the whole night loudly telling us all about how many guys she was seeing on Tinder now and how desirable she was. When I left the room, her friend matched us both on Tinder without me knowing for a "joke".
She was very drunk, and proceeded to laugh and tell me, in front of everyone, that she didn't like me and frankly "definitely never wanted to match with "him" anyway". She essentially said "I will f*** any man in this world except for you, Smooth. LOL."
I was drunk too, so I couldn't even leave the house and drive home. I had to stay the night on the sofa - I didn't even escape the humiliation that night.
Probably the lowest I've ever felt, with relation to girls or even anything else. And it was all because I was naive, passive and ignorant of the ways women social proof.
I've never spoken to her in the years since, because:
1. F*** any woman (hell, person) that treats me that way. Trading a 4 year friendship for a BS moment of "I'm great and you're disgusting and below me"? Wow. BPD?
2. She showed me her phone that night and I was hotter than any of the Tinder douches she was getting. Unquestionably. One of them was a farmhand with half his teeth literally missing, ffs! She definitely fancied me or used to, she just decided to blow me off publically for social proof instead. Which shows I wasn't valued or respected.
TLDR:
What am I trying to say with this rambling cringefest?
- Don't be the "nice friend guy" who spends all his time being cool to hang around with but with no sexual escalation or activity. You will get orbited. Getting this girl to play with your dog for an hour while she rejects you at every turn is filling that "nice guy" role to a tee.
- If your average woman can turn you into her b*tch in public and treat you like garbage, she will. I learned this the hardest way. It elevates her social status at your expense (and she doesn't care about you). Publically telling you you're "just friends" after a car crash is treating you like a b*tch.
- A woman who has just broken up will behave very rudely and irrationally. You don't want to be around that.
- Some women become utterly desperate when they break up, to the point of bragging about Tinder matches (which is like fish in a barrel for an average looking woman). This means they're just going to be looking for sex with guys that don't even care about because they want zero attachment. Again, you don't want to be around that...because they're so unstable it's not even a sure thing that you'll get casual sex. And they're probably deeply depressed, too.
- NEVER LET SOMEONE COMPROMISE YOUR FRAME. This is the lesson I took away from this. Never again will I be emasculated like that in public - I wouldn't even be in this situation again, but if I was I would just call her pathetic and leave. Instead I was "nice" and didn't even say anything rude back to her.
