how to prevent women from becoming attached?

[SoCalMike]

Hey guys, I have this problem where woman often get way too emotionally attached to me way too quick. I meet women fairly often, and can get laid w/o much trouble but the main problem I have is they always get too attached within a matter of a few weeks. Maybe I'm being too nice?

How have others dealt with this?

What I would like is to put every woman on fvck buddy status until she proves she is worthy of something more. But only a couple times have I managed the fvck buddy thing. They usually fall in love with me then when I don't feel the same back they get hurt and that sucks.

Any advice would be appreciated...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Keep a high rotation and see the woman no more than a couple of times per month.

 

[RedPill]

Good discussion topic.

I'm surprised to hear that this is a problem in SoCal. In my part of the country, it's way bad. Of course, that's because the area I live is heavily influenced by the small-town mindset, with a heavy emphasis on religious values. Every chick over 18, and most dudes over 21 are marriage-minded, and it's always assumed that if you date someone more than 2 weeks it means you're exclusive and consider them marriage potential.

Francisco's advice is good. I'd also say be conscious of using verbage that implies in any way, shape, or form that you're an exclusive couple or that you romanticize the notion of marriage (an AFC ideal).

 

[disfunktional]

KillaPetehog is spot on, this is my experience also. In fact I have to LJBF a "supposed" FB tonight as she is getting a bit too much, and I've lost interest.

 

[Latinoman]

Huge issue for me too.

 

[SoCalMike]

thanks for the advice guys. yeah, i think you're right women always get attached to some degree after sex. unless the situation is framed a certain way (like porn).

 

[realsmoothie]

I have the same problem too. It doesn't seem to matter what the context is... it could be a romantic dating thing or a girl from the bar, girls always get the impression that I'm into them romantically and they want something serious.

I've realized that a lot of it is because I'm good in bed, particularly the kissing/foreplay/fondling parts. And I cuddle. All of this is a sign of affection, so they think... and I guess it is. I can't help it, I like it.

 

[SoCalMike]

I have the same problem too. It doesn't seem to matter what the context is... it could be a romantic dating thing or a girl from the bar, girls always get the impression that I'm into them romantically and they want something serious.

I've realized that a lot of it is because I'm good in bed, particularly the kissing/foreplay/fondling parts. And I cuddle. All of this is a sign of affection, so they think... and I guess it is. I can't help it, I like it.

yeah i have the same problem. i love to please a woman sexually but i guess that's a bad thing in a way! LOL

i've come to the conclusion that i'm just going to have to live with this problem, that there is no way to fully get rid of it. i suffered for many years as an AFC, perhaps this is nature balancing itself as now it is women suffering instead of me?

i mean, when i was 18-25 the women had the upper hand, but now the tables have turned... but still i feel bad. i don't like hurting women's feelings. i may not want marriage with every girl i sleep with, but i do care about them. oh well... c'est la vie.

 

[joekerr31]

women get attached after sex for a very simple reason. i think i mentioned this before, but it was like a year ago...

BEFORE having sex a woman knows that shes in control mostly. that as long is the man is in the hunt, as long as he's just looking at that piece of apple pie on the counter with his mouth watering, then she has options.

however, AFTER he eats that apple pie, he's full. and if he's not full he's going to now start demanding that you keep feeding him apple pie until he is full. and when he's had enough apple pie that it no longer interests him that much, he'll start wanting a steak. Sooo, once a woman gives up the apple pie they now become slightly paranoid - 'now that he got what he wanted, is he going to get bored with me'.

and you know something, they think this way FOR GOOD REASON! heck my IL in a woman drops off once i've banged her 10 or so times (assuming shes great in bed). then it starts to become all about personality and character - how much i actually like being around HER.

chics know this is the how the world spins. which is why after you bang them they suddenly start to latch on to you.

now some of them will don't latch on, these ones typically aren't that interested in you to start with. but the ones who actually like you, will start to latch on.

once you get that women are two different creatures before and after sex you'll also stop seeing them as the prize before having sex with them. OH and also realize that YOU also are two different people before and after sex.

[oh and interesting side note. an AFC male is simply a man who acts like a woman generally acts after having sex with a guy. hehe]

if you have sex with a woman 10+ times and still enjoy hanging out with her (in a non sexual way) then you've got something worth pursuing.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

YO JOE! Kerr...that is...lol,


Bruh, after that "apple pie" analogy you just dropped on us, I'm not sure I'll ever look at "having dessert" quite the same way AGAIN. LOL



Good post!

 

[RedPill]

once you get that women are two different creatures before and after sex you'll also stop seeing them as the prize before having sex with them. OH and also realize that YOU also are two different people before and after sex.

Golden words.

 

[driver55]

Nice topic!

Very interesting topic.

I "suffer" if you want to call it that, from this issue on occasion as well. Infact I've been spending time with a girl for about 4 months now after we've banged many times.

She obviously sees more, and I have tried to avoid it long enough. I may have "caved" in a little.

Avoiding the insinuations of being more than F-buddies can work for a while until she PRESSES the issue hard(like in my case). Then a decision must be made. Call it like you see it and want it, or begin to claim it as more (which is the way I'm going now....not sure that's what I want).

Incidently, joekerr, I thought what you said about how men act after sex being AFC akin to how a woman acts, interesting. Sometimes I like to hold and whatever, and other times just get my nut and be done with it. Does it make me AFC because sometimes I want to hold her afterward? I don't think so...although maybe I am totally blind to it.

I am still learning of course =)

P.S. Is it OK, or normal, to say, or even think - "Hey I really enjoy hanging out with you, having sex, and spending time doing other activities, but I just don't want to call you my girlfriend?" I think like this of course because I want to spin more plates, yet I am currently VERY busy with other things in my life, i.e. work, school, working out, etc.

I am just curious if anyone has worked like this in the past. Again, if it seems like a stupid question, it just because it seems a bit foreign to me.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Driver55,



I would suggest that you ask yourself this question:

"Am I avoiding claiming this chick as my girlfriend because I don't want to commit, or is it that I just don't want to commit to HER?"

Because, my brother, I'm thinking that the answer we give ourselves to THAT question reveals our level of MATURITY, our level of SELF-KNOWLEDGE (knowing what the hell we really want), AND what our true, deep-seated views on manogamy itself REALLY are.


Think about it...


...cuz' I sure as hell am THESE DAYS.



Peace...one day.

 

[joekerr31]

Very interesting topic.

Incidently, joekerr, I thought what you said about how men act after sex being AFC akin to how a woman acts, interesting. Sometimes I like to hold and whatever, and other times just get my nut and be done with it. Does it make me AFC because sometimes I want to hold her afterward? I don't think so...although maybe I am totally blind to it.

no no, you misunderstood.

you see, in the beginning stages of a relationship a woman typically has a huge amount of power. after you are banging her though, typically she then loses a lot of power (even if she still has some its not as much as before). now she's in a game where she's given away the apple pie and has to keep you around with other meals if you will. she's now concerned with where she stands with you. before sex though she knows she might totally piss you off BUT she can always mend any fences she ruins by giving it up.

the after sex female is similar to the AFC male - ie. they see the other person as 'the prize' and concern themselves about losing it.

whereas, before sex most women know they have 'the prize' and its in their pants!

theres nothing wrong with being emotional with a woman at all. being AFC has nothing to do with how sensitive or insensitive you are, in my opinion, and everything to do with whether you stand up for yourself when a woman tries to rip your balls off.