How to pickup 30-40 years old women as a younger guy?

[crowolf]

Sometimes I tend to find women that are slightly older than me attractive. Let’s say I’m 25 years old, and they are 30-35 or sometimes even around 40s. I’ve cold approached some of those but it never got anywhere. They showed some interest throughout the interaction, and I've even got a few numbers but they didn’t respond to my texts afterwards.

This by itself is not enough of evidence that I won't have success with these women anytime soon, but even in the sets oftentimes they will hear my age, and then just have the mental block, on a logical level, that this man-to-woman thing between us is not going to happen. And they usually share their objections in the conversation. Or it just might be an excuse for their lack of attraction to me, but I can't confirm that yet. Most of them seemed somewhat intrigued.

I know that according to social conditioning and hypergamy, it doesn't make sense that an attractive 30-35 years old woman will date a younger guy who is nowhere near her "level" in the main fields of life. In my mind, I think such a woman would be aiming at successful men at their peak SMV, who can provide luxurious experiences for her, raise her status in society, grant her access to opportunities, build a family with her, and treat her like an experienced man would (?)

And so according to my logic, the only thing I can provide them in such case is: good time, adventure, emotions, "fun" + the fact that I boldly approach them in public and try to seduce them without hiding my intentions, which they seldom experience in this way. However, most of them seem to be already over that fun phase, and now are more pragmatic than ever. I guess the only possible path to success in such a scenario is to "game" them hard, have a strong masculine frame, be smooth, and avoid at all cost everything logical. But since they are more mature, this is not that easy.

(I haven't tried it lately, so more evidence might be needed to get a full sense of how it works or why it doesn't. Might post updates here later this year.)

What's your take on this?

 

[BPH]

I'm 30. The women I've most recently slept with were 27, 35, and 43. I'll describe how each of them were, because I think they mostly live up to the generalizations I'd make:

43 - Very skeptical of my interest. She reasoned that I was much younger and quite attractive, so she was leery as to why I was still single. She was very critical and self-conscious of herself because she recalls when she used to be hotter and I'd guess she wished she could present that version of herself to me rather than this one. She had been jaded by previous experiences with men, and the fact that she's getting older and does not have one in her life likely worries her and would lead her to be more discerning about the men she sleeps with or dates. She was the only one of the three that I did not sleep with the same night I met her, and she claimed that it had been "quite some time" since she had sex.

35 - Much less resistant to my advances, but there were still some walls. Seems to still want to be courted a little so she can justify her sl*tiness with me later on. Looking for the potential for something more serious, but isn't screening for it as hard as the 43-year-old. These women seem to either fall into the category of being very reserved and waiting for the "right one", or having "given up" on that dream and instead seek to satisfy their sexual desires. My most consistent current FWB is like this, and my BPD ex showed similar behavior until we started dating.

27 - From the moment I met her until the moment we had sex it was only about an hour and a half. If we remove what I did right from the equation, these women are usually not looking for anything too serious. They're still young and "finding themselves", exploring the world and focusing on their careers. There are some around this age who are actively looking for potential marriage partners, but they're not usually the ones you'll see on dating apps or out at bars. A few years ago I would frequent the college bars and those women were often the most open to leaving with me and f***ing the same night.

I will say age matters, for sure. When I started getting older and visiting the college bars there were plenty of women who would go cold the moment I told them I didn't go to school there and was actually 28. Similarly, there are older women who will associate your youth with not being ready to settle down, shouldn't be taken seriously, and cannot provide for them.

You really just have to talk to them. Some women are extremely reserved as they age and only want to mess around with potential long-term partners. Others have been in long-term relationships all their lives and now they're older and horny and just want somebody to help them get their rocks off.

 

[New_Journey]

Sometimes I tend to find women that are slightly older than me attractive. Let’s say I’m 25 years old, and they are 30-35 or sometimes even around 40s. I’ve cold approached some of those but it never got anywhere. They showed some interest throughout the interaction, and I've even got a few numbers but they didn’t respond to my texts afterwards.

This by itself is not enough of evidence that I won't have success with these women anytime soon, but even in the sets oftentimes they will hear my age, and then just have the mental block, on a logical level, that this man-to-woman thing between us is not going to happen. And they usually share their objections in the conversation. Or it just might be an excuse for their lack of attraction to me, but I can't confirm that yet. Most of them seemed somewhat intrigued.

I know that according to social conditioning and hypergamy, it doesn't make sense that an attractive 30-35 years old woman will date a younger guy who is nowhere near her "level" in the main fields of life. In my mind, I think such a woman would be aiming at successful men at their peak SMV, who can provide luxurious experiences for her, raise her status in society, grant her access to opportunities, build a family with her, and treat her like an experienced man would (?)

And so according to my logic, the only thing I can provide them in such case is: good time, adventure, emotions, "fun" + the fact that I boldly approach them in public and try to seduce them without hiding my intentions, which they seldom experience in this way. However, most of them seem to be already over that fun phase, and now are more pragmatic than ever. I guess the only possible path to success in such a scenario is to "game" them hard, have a strong masculine frame, be smooth, and avoid at all cost everything logical. But since they are more mature, this is not that easy.

(I haven't tried it lately, so more evidence might be needed to get a full sense of how it works or why it doesn't. Might post updates here later this year.)

What's your take on this?

I'm 35, and I have no doubt that mens best age start after 35 if they kept themselves in shape and financially stable. You start to give off this vibe of being comfortable in your onw skin, you've gone through some $hit, you got life experiences and you the vibe of being a mature guy who knows what he wants, doesn't need anyone, you feel it within you, its fvcking crazy man, people have to experience it to know it. The graph below shows it perfectly.

 

[itouchyou]

I'm 35, and I have no doubt that mens best age start after 35 if they kept themselves in shape and financially stable. You start to give off this vibe of being comfortable in your onw skin, you've gone through some $hit, you got life experiences and you the vibe of being a mature guy who knows what he wants, doesn't need anyone, you feel it within you, its fvcking crazy man, people have to experience it to know it. The graph below shows it perfectly.

View attachment 13728

Same here. I think it's not as common because most guys after 35 aren't well put together. It's a topic that's been discussed plenty online but I'm a firm believer that mid 30s is a great time for a guy that put in the work to keep himself looking good with money in the bank.

It's actually a sweet spot for guys looking to settle because the supply of mid 30s men that actually have their **** together is slim, very slim, and women in their late 20s/early 30s are after these men. It's not great to look at it as getting women that have no options but late 20s women aren't exactly old. Many out there that look great. Caveat is you have to avoid the ones who probably slept around in their 20s and are looking for a sucker to reel in as they get closer to 30.

 

[New_Journey]

Same here. I think it's not as common because most guys after 35 aren't well put together. It's a topic that's been discussed plenty online but I'm a firm believer that mid 30s is a great time for a guy that put in the work to keep himself looking good with money in the bank.

It's actually a sweet spot for guys looking to settle because the supply of mid 30s men that actually have their **** together is slim, very slim, and women in their late 20s/early 30s are after these men. It's not great to look at it as getting women that have no options but late 20s women aren't exactly old. Many out there that look great. Caveat is you have to avoid the ones who probably slept around in their 20s and are looking for a sucker to reel in as they get closer to 30.

Guys in their 30s who don't get puzzy its because they haven't done anything in life for them. A moderate successful guy with some game can get puzzy anywhere from 18 to 45. And like you said most men in their 30s aren't well put together

 

[SW15]

Why would you want to get 30-40 year old women if you are under 30? Enjoy the 20 something pussie while it is relatively easier for you to get.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Ya gotta look the part.


Grow a beard or facial hair, start dressing up in brown tweed blazers, comfy denims and nice shoes.


When you do approaches, don’t go by yourself, bring a dog or a wingman or a wing woman…..Also please show some bad@ss social proof. If you’re working at Mickey Ds…find a freakin side hustle to make extra cash and make a couple of cool business cards to flash around…..yes show it to her and bam! she’ll get the impression that you’re a responsible guy.

 

[BPH]

Ya gotta look the part.


Grow a beard or facial hair, start dressing up in brown tweed blazers, comfy denims and nice shoes.


When you do approaches, don’t go by yourself, bring a dog or a wingman or a wing woman…..Also please show some bad@ss social proof. If you’re working at Mickey Ds…find a freakin side hustle to make extra cash and make a couple of cool business cards to flash around…..yes show it to her and bam! she’ll get the impression that you’re a responsible guy.

View attachment 13729

 

[crowolf]

Why would you want to get 30-40 year old women if you are under 30? Enjoy the 20 something pussie while it is relatively easier for you to get.

Honestly I don't know. I find young ones (~18-25) attractive too. And of course they are my main goal. But something about these mature ladies move me. It's weird but I guess I have to try at least once to know what it's like.

 

[Gamisch]

The old woman cope AGAIN. It's just an escape route, nothing more nothing less. A weak excuse.

Modern dating? There will HARDLY be any difference. A 50 year old woman basically demands the same as an 18 year old woman. Ofcourse we can argue there will be nuances, but in general ALL women now want the same: a somewhat good-looking man who can take care of himself, carries himself with confidence and can "handle " a woman.

You won't get an easier way out, sorry OP.

Ya gotta look the part.


Grow a beard or facial hair, start dressing up in brown tweed blazers, comfy denims and nice shoes.


When you do approaches, don’t go by yourself, bring a dog or a wingman or a wing woman…..Also please show some bad@ss social proof. If you’re working at Mickey Ds…find a freakin side hustle to make extra cash and make a couple of cool business cards to flash around…..yes show it to her and bam! she’ll get the impression that you’re a responsible guy.

View attachment 13729

Do you look anything remotely like that?

 

[BPH]

Honestly I don't know. I find young ones (~18-25) attractive too. And of course they are my main goal. But something about these mature ladies move me. It's weird but I guess I have to try at least once to know what it's like.

I don't know if you liked @Travel memoir21 's advice ironically, but dear God please do not listen to any of that.

I do fine dressed in f***ing t-shirts and jeans, I don't bring a damn dog or wingman anywhere, and you best not be packing some God damn business cards thinking they're gonna get you laid.

 

[crowolf]

I don't know if you liked @Travel memoir21 's advice ironically, but dear God please do not listen to any of that.

Haha. I know not to do the business card thing, but the guy was actually trying to help with advice, and there is some value in what he shared.

 

[BPH]

Haha. I know not to do the business card thing, but the guy was actually trying to help with advice, and there is some value in what he shared.

Regardless of what I think of him as a person, no, there is not. It is some of the worst advice I've ever read.

His advice is to dress and groom differently, lean on a wingman or an animal, and bring business cards to give off the impression you're a responsible guy who makes money.

I do absolutely none of those things and I guarantee you I'm getting better results. An older woman is just a woman.

 

[SW15]

you're a responsible guy who makes money.

That sounds like a beta bucks guy to me. That's not a position that any man should want to emphasize. Far too many men lead with their wallets.

I do absolutely none of those things and I guarantee you I'm getting better results.

You lead with your looks and also have some personality factors that help. Women want to have sex with you because you are 6'0", fit/muscular, and once got selected as a male model. These are top tier looks.

 

[BPH]

That sounds like a beta bucks guy to me. That's not a position that any man should want to emphasize. Far too many men lead with their wallets.



You lead with your looks and also have some personality factors that help. Women want to have sex with you because you are 6'0", fit/muscular, and once got selected as a male model. These are top tier looks.

Yeah, but I also don't dress like a dad, rely on some other idiot to approach with me, or pretend I'm running some business like she gives a s***.

Guys need to stop being corny. Just be a confident, normal dude.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Like all women, older women want a leader – someone confident, who can teach them, and push them to the next level. Some are looking to spice things up with a partner, while others, fresh out of a relationship, just want fun.

Ultimately, women are attracted to someone who can fill a need they can’t meet on their own. Pay attention to their signals – clothes, gestures, offhand comments, and even their environment. They're always hinting at what they're missing. Women, like anyone, crave completeness, real or imagined, and if they believe another person can provide it, that person has great power over them.

As an example, some women crave youthful excitement, seeking spontaneity and adventure. Others are drawn to mystery, fantasy, and new experiences. Some desire constant novelty, while others enjoy risk and boundary-pushing. There are those focused on self-image, looking for growth, and those needing validation to feel special. Some are attracted to security and stability, while others to rebellion. Intellectual women enjoy stimulating conversations, and some seek nurturing, protective qualities to feel cherished.

To uncover what they need, start asking thoughtful questions that encourage them to open up about their desires, past experiences, and what they feel is missing in their life, allowing you to identify what they truly crave.

PS: Be careful with older women. They have more experience in relationships and can lure you into one while taking a masculine role, especially if you have less experience yourself.

 

[SW15]

I also don't dress like a dad

Neither do I. I don't act like a dad in any way. I am the age of a typical dad now that I am in my early 40s.

rely on some other idiot to approach with me

I think there is a value in having a wingman. Having a wingman is better at nightlife venues than rolling solo to nightlife venues. I have done solo approach sessions in nightlife venues. It can work. I still prefer a wingman if possible at nightlife venues.

Non-bar approaching (daygame) is well designed for men who don't have wingman options. Most daygame options can be done solo and are often better done solo. Many women are solo and isolated from their friends in daygame settings. Getting that sort of isolation in a nightlife venue is challenging.

 

[GoodMan32]

Despite the fact I'm largely a failure with the ladies, I can give some input on the specific scenario you're inquiring about.

When I was 23, I offered to buy cigarettes for a woman at a mini mart (because I found her attractive). She turned out to be 35. She allowed me to buy the cigarettes.

We then exchanged numbers. She ended up coming to my place a few days later (but had a male friend accompany her)

While at my place, she compared me to Jeffrey Dahmer. Needless to say, we didn't progress any further.

Even though I failed in the end, the fact I could at least get her to text with me/meet up is promising.

 

[The Duke]

There was a time in my early 30's where I dated a lot of women that were 5-10yrs older. At the time I found them more attractive than girls in their 20's. To me, they were more alluring, more physically developed, more confident, and they dressed sexier. All I cared about was good times, fun, and sex. I didn't want anything long term. Most of my relationships in that era didn't last more than a few months and I was onto the next.

The difficulty I ran into was when it came to sex. These women that were older than me, always drug their feet. Being younger, they saw me as a toy and automatically suspected all I was after was pu$$y.....and I sort of was. They required more time, more dates, more convincing them that I wasn't going to pump and dump. After investing in them and not getting any sehx I put a few of them on notice. Only had one that wasn't willing to have sex the next time we saw each other. I also can't deny the fact, that I lacked a lot of experience when it came to seducing and understanding women so that played a part as well.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Sometimes I tend to find women that are slightly older than me attractive. Let’s say I’m 25 years old, and they are 30-35 or sometimes even around 40s. I’ve cold approached some of those but it never got anywhere. They showed some interest throughout the interaction, and I've even got a few numbers but they didn’t respond to my texts afterwards.

This by itself is not enough of evidence that I won't have success with these women anytime soon, but even in the sets oftentimes they will hear my age, and then just have the mental block, on a logical level, that this man-to-woman thing between us is not going to happen. And they usually share their objections in the conversation. Or it just might be an excuse for their lack of attraction to me, but I can't confirm that yet. Most of them seemed somewhat intrigued.

I know that according to social conditioning and hypergamy, it doesn't make sense that an attractive 30-35 years old woman will date a younger guy who is nowhere near her "level" in the main fields of life. In my mind, I think such a woman would be aiming at successful men at their peak SMV, who can provide luxurious experiences for her, raise her status in society, grant her access to opportunities, build a family with her, and treat her like an experienced man would (?)

And so according to my logic, the only thing I can provide them in such case is: good time, adventure, emotions, "fun" + the fact that I boldly approach them in public and try to seduce them without hiding my intentions, which they seldom experience in this way. However, most of them seem to be already over that fun phase, and now are more pragmatic than ever. I guess the only possible path to success in such a scenario is to "game" them hard, have a strong masculine frame, be smooth, and avoid at all cost everything logical. But since they are more mature, this is not that easy.

(I haven't tried it lately, so more evidence might be needed to get a full sense of how it works or why it doesn't. Might post updates here later this year.)

What's your take on this?

You have to know you target audience. You are not going to do well with women in the 30-35 range. Those women are typically in their "last call" stage and are looking for a man in his 30's or 40's to start a family with ASAP. They are not going to treat you as a serious candidate.
Women in their late 30's or 40's who are divorced (or who have given up on the idea of starting a family) would be more open to the idea of a casual fling with a younger guy.