How to Overcome Your Insecurities and Timidity( give examples)

[alone]

Hey peeps was up .
Well i have been blessed of always being around women for most of my time. But it doesnt mean anything because i am 18 and have never had a girlfrend.
i have travelled many places over the years (abd wil continue god willling) but still i resort to airbrushed images and pornographic material (Dont watch Porn guys it only isolates the mind and emphasises your loneliness)
So i am very antisocial till the point where i have become suicidal.. I've read the bible, but my insecurities always conquer me. I now feel happy best when i'm by mself and depressed around ppl
I DONT WANT sympathy i want the opposite i want to hear how you guys overcame your insecurities.
I am writing ppl who can relate to give me their life stories similar to mine and tell me how they overcame their lifestyles.

Come on!!!! It will be good to get it off ya chest!!!!

 

[ScrewIt]

sounds to me like you prefer to say in your comfort zone.

you like to stay where u know that you'll likely be able to avoid sadness or pain from the real world.

i guess it depends how badly you want something.
friends, acquaintences, gf. if you dont want any of those, then you have no real motivation for leaving your zone

it should be better to realize early to pursue social interaction than when you regret it in your old age.

 

[Devestator]

I've found that the best way to overcome shyness is just to talk to people even if you fear it. That's in the bible so you know that. That was how I did it.

At 18, you have a lot of years ahead of you to practice your game. I'm 28, and wish I did more to cure my timidity when I was your age. Now I'm confident, but I have to learn social skills in a hurry.

And there's always psychotherapy, if its a big problem. Been through that too.

 

[heater528]

I was the same way when i was in highschool, i was different because i went to a public highschool and came from a catholic grade school. I didnt trust many people and to this day still dont. But i made a group of friends in HS and we did things and eventually i warmed up to them and showed who i really was and people liked me for how funny and carfree i was, eventually by my junior year i was one of the coolest kids in my Highschool but then i met my ex girlfriend who was the reason i found this page... she screwed me over and i lost my friends because i spent all my free time with her. So again i became a loner until i found this page and started getting confidence back. I guess the moral of the story is i still prefer to be by myself but why would i deprive someone of the pleasure of hanging out with me... so get out there and dont give a **** and have fun... its contagious and people will be drawn towards you !

 

[italostud]

Try hitting the gym and getting in shape. If you're really antisocial and don't wanna go to a gym, just go pick up a bench, bar, two dumbells and a bunch of weights. The most important thing is that you realize you have something you have to work on and you're not feeling sorry for yourself. That's a huge obstacle you've overcome right there.

 

[Nine Breaker]

"If you really want something bad enough, you'll get it"

Funnily enough, this statement is true. The trouble is: there is a part of it missing. Yep, whoever originally coined that ol' phrase forgot the most important part of it - the HOW to get it. Life is neither a series of good or bad events and circumstances. There is no good fortune, nor is there damnation. Everything that presents itself to you in life can be seen only as a challenge.

When a woman practically throws herself at you, there is virtually zero need for you to rise to the meagre challenge she has presented you - she is practically yours, without having to lift a finger.

But then, there are those "almost-perfect" women (the ones that seem to stun you by their attractiveness). These women appear to us as so damned fine that we would have to give our skills everything they have, flawlessly, to be in with a chance. This is the other extreme - the epitome of what I mean by challenge.

This is just an example of what I mean. The amount of "challenge" we are willing to take upon us reflects the size of the reward that awaits our victory over the challenge. Back with my examples, I doubt you would get more than an STD-infested scrag-bag of a woman out of that, but with my second example - the reward is an epitome by comparison.

The trick to this, the missing part of the statement, the thing that governs our success in each and EVERY aspect of our lives is this - how determined we are to rise to the challenge.

"IF YOU WANT SOMETHING BAD ENOUGH, YOUR DETERMINATION WILL GET IT FOR YOU".

Now, the BIG secret is this: how do we summon the determination we need to rise to the challenge?

Before I continue, ask yourself these two questions:
1/ Who am I?
2/ If I could be anybody I wanted, who would I be?

We will come back to them later...

Look at life as a series of challenges. You have complete control over each and every aspect of your life. If you want friends, good friends, then you should get yourself into a position that will expose you to people with similar interests to yours. If you enjoy playing a sport - join a social team. If you have an artistic nature - do an arts course that brings you close to others with a passion for art. You will not find people that share your interests (whatever they may be) unless you put yourself in a location that caters to that sort of people. Not only can you meet like-minded people, but you also learn/enhance a skill that you already enjoy.

History is doomed to repeat itself for as long as one makes the same mistakes, takes the same actions, and allows the same inaction. The only way out of this vicious circle is to break the cycle... by changing the direction of your life.

Yesterday cannot be changed. Tomorrow can - but only if you are determined to make a difference. RISE TO THE CHALLENGE!

Finally, remember those two questions from above?
True satisfaction with your life can be found when you can honestly give those 2 questions the same answer.

 

[Mr.Hash wid da Stash]

I overcame my timidity by being a more aggressive mofo, rather then my former pvssy whipped self. Don't care what people think. I slap girls asses(girls I don't even know that well) start convos, the works..

It's hard, but once you start coming on stronger you won't regret it. You're 18 now. In 40 years time do you want to look back and say
1) "Jeez, what was I so afraid of back then, I wasted my whole youth.." or
2) "Damn, I had a blast when I was a young gun! Laying honeys all night long, those were the days..."

Because when you're 60 years old, you ain't gonna be laying any 20yr old hotties my friend, so get out there now and be more aggressive!

 

[Dirtheart]

It's difficult, I know. I'm 27 and have been in the same situation most of my life. As a teenager I was very overweight, bullied and left feeling very insecure. I have lost the weight, women often tell me I'm attractive and well-groomed, but I still have some difficulty dealing with intimate situations fearing I'll be rejected and have to deal with the pain of it all. But you have to ask whether the brief pain of rejection is any worse than a lifetime of despair and misery.

It takes time, and my problem is that I didn't recognise and act on my problem soon enough. At 18, there's plenty of time to regain your self esteem.

The first thing I would recommend is getting some social experience. Do some retail work or something that involves dealing with people on a regular basis. Secondly, take pride in your appearance. Look through fashion magazines and try to get a look that seems popular.

Also, never dwell on any negative point. Always think positive and praise yourself. Believe me, you can't get a girl to like you if you hate yourself. You need to convince people that you are worth knowing and the easiest way to do that is by being relaxed about who you are.

Every date I've had has worked out perfectly while I've just been myself and felt relaxed. But every time I have been given the elbow it's because I have tried too hard to be perfect.

DO NOT judge yourself through the eyes of others. The important thing here is that you please yourself, not other people.

 

[Dirtheart]

Ps. Don't go slapping girls' asses. That's known as sexual harrassment and will stand to make you unpopular with both males and females.

A better tip, in my opinion, is to disguise your timidity as gentlemanly conduct. If you're on a date, don't make a move, don't even worry about it, just enjoy the company. Then before you part ways, ask her if you can kiss her. She'll either say yes or no, and either way you can leave with dignity. It's old fashioned, but it shows class.

 

[balengar]

If i were you i would start by making 2 lists on DIFFERENT sheets of paper. And list EVERYTHING you can think of.

1. Good things about me.

2. Bad things about me.


Every morning when you wake up, read EVERY SINGLE ENTRY on list 1. Think to yourself, ok, wouldnt people need/enjoy having a friend with all these good qualities about them? Go out and have a good day. Just say Hi to people and THATS IT. Dont feel you have to engage in conversation, much less get a phone number.
If someone starts talking to you BE NICE, FRIENDLY, AND APPROACHABLE.


When you get home at the end of the day, pull out list 2. Scan through it, and pick one big thing or a couple small things you are going to work to change/fix/remedy/minimize in the near future. But start TODAY to fix one of those things. Soon you will have crossed out most of the entries in list 2.

When you wake up in the morning, pull out list 1 again, and dont even think about the other list that you have (list 2).

You should also think of something you want to do to add to list 1.
In a few short months, list 1 will be several times as big as list 2. and you will be one hell of a catch for a lucky girl (or 50).



Good luck bro. Just take it (life) one step at a time......but always step in the same direction.

 

[alone]

Thanx

thanx yall. I am goin to try it one day at a time and try not to make my emotions and insecurities conquer me. I will write yall later in a couple of months with my own advice
Peace!!!!!
alone-Companionship is to satisfy the Isolation of the Mind

 

[legolas]

Originally posted by Mr.Hash wid da Stash
I overcame my timidity by being a more aggressive mofo, rather then my former pvssy whipped self. Don't care what people think. I slap girls asses(girls I don't even know that well) start convos, the works..

It's hard, but once you start coming on stronger you won't regret it. You're 18 now. In 40 years time do you want to look back and say
1) "Jeez, what was I so afraid of back then, I wasted my whole youth.." or
2) "Damn, I had a blast when I was a young gun! Laying honeys all night long, those were the days..."

Because when you're 60 years old, you ain't gonna be laying any 20yr old hotties my friend, so get out there now and be more aggressive!

I kinda did something similar. In order to find the balance you need to at least experience both ends. You've experienced being timid and shy and insecure. Now you need to learn to be ****y and not even ****y and funny, just plain ****y and kinda an a$$hole Put a smirk on your face and be little ****y mofo, watch a good movie to bring your ****iness up and after you get the a$$hole slap you'll feel much better.