How to not care...

[ChemicalWolf]

I know people usually say do not care what women think, but I have another problem involving self conscience. How do you not care what others or anyone think(s)? How do you walk out onto the streets and not care what that fat man, skinny old woman, 4 year old kid, or 14 year old girl thinks.

I read this post before on habits of lonely people, such as not going out etc... that may be my problem. I get invited to places but I never choose to go, because I would rather stay home and watch T.V. play games, etc, etc... Although being this way is only better for me, because by being alone I feel like I have no boss or no one to answer to other than myself.

Aside from that I would like to know how you don't care what others think about you. Or how do you site in class and not care what that guy behind you thinks, or what that girl beside you thinks etc...

I just don't know how to deal with this, because it would be nice if I could not care for once...

 

[Demon]

It is important to care what others think about you and your actions. It's a necessity for normality. However, it is more important to learn how much to care. Do not indulge yourself in worry.

 

[xanderbaz]

Have you seen "Office Space"? Well, I had a similar experience; I convinced myself I don't care, and it worked! Now I definitely don't care what people around me think.
Now you must set a difference between not caring about what others think, and what you think about yourself. Who are others to judge, anyway? Didn't Jesus say "Who's without sin, may he cast the first stone." The message is equally meaningful to atheists as well, I think. Your neighbor/50yr.old woman across the street/child on the street/teacher/peers/parents should look at themselves before attempting to criticize you. Be aware of that.
I don't know how much sense this might make to you; to me it's perfectly clear. If you'd like more on this, e-mail me @: cmdrdata20@yahoo.com
Good luck, and keep on truckin'.

 

[djray]

yo,

What other people think about you is none of your business. likewise what you think about them is none of their business.I think that if someone has a healthy self image they are not concerned with what other people think.

To be blunt people are to worried about their own $**t to even think about some stranger that they have never and will probably
see again.

 

[cant think of a user name]

ChemicalWolf:
*Do you respect yourself?
*Are you self assured?

The problem here may be that you're too self-conscious. What I mean is, placing a certain degree of importance on your appearance and reputation is good, its just how much importance you place on it. Right now you seem to be too concerned with how others perceive you. You can only overcome this over time by learning to respect yourself and being confident.

You also said something about avoiding social gatherings and staying home to watch tv or whatever. Well the best thing to do is:

Don't avoid these social gatherings you're invited to!

They give you more social interaction and with practise you will learn to be a more sociable and relaxed person.

Office Space is a good example of how a shy reserved dude turned into a super confident self assured man who gets the girl and gets a promotion. Watch it sometime.

 

[ChemicalWolf]

What if I get invited places very rarely? I probably get invited once every 3 months. (Probably because Im known for not going)

 

[xanderbaz]

I can say that "Office Space" (or at least the message of it) has changed my life completely... I'm talking about a 180 degree turnaround.

 

[Luscious]

ChemicalWolf, you sound like me about a year ago. I would avoid new people, new places, new experiences. I was afraid to do anything for the fear of being judged or labeled by others. Now, I'm so outgoing it's just ridiculous, and with being outgoing (for me, at least) comes confidence.

What I did to overcome my reclusive tendencies was to find something in which you are truly comfortable with doing with other people and bring that into your everyday life. Although shy, I actually enjoyed doing presentations in front of class rather than written reports, and was excellent in these presentations. I would crack jokes, get the point across, and get a great mark. To solve my problem of shyness, I made talking to people a 'presentation'. I'd pick a point I wanted to get across and deliver it humourously but clearly. It worked great, and soon I didn't need to draw on this 'presentation' mindset in conversation. My social contacts expanded, more party invites, etc. etc.

Try to find a situation that you're comfortable in and draw on it when around others. The confidence you get from this will be all you need to realize that the opinions of others aren't the be-and-end-all in life. The first step is always the hardest, it just gets easier from there.

 

[ChemicalWolf]

Hey, thanks guys!

 

[jmm854]

Office Space kicks ass.

 

[Demon]

Donnie Darko will also change your life... probably a lot more than Office Space.

 

[Lost]

donnie darko?

i saw that movie(donny darko)...damn its weird lol.. how the **** is it suppsoed to change ur life?

 

[Demon]

It changed my life. I don't know how, but it did. I can feel it. I suppose it improves your perception of the world to some degree.

Perhaps that change can only come about when you're ready.