How to not care about rejections

[evan12]

After every approaches campaign I make , I get tired of rejections and stop to take a breath. I feel really bad after 5 rejections even if they come during one month long .
How do you guys keep your self up even though you are getting rejections . Is there any good lecture or video about that?

 

[amazingswayze]

just understand that success is coming soon. don't beat yourself up. all you need is a positive mindset. the girls that rejected you probably don't matter whatsoever. don't take it personal.

 

[ubercat]

Think of them as nothing but practice. On an approach yr a random guy and she s a random girl. Who cares what some stranger thinks.

 

[zonn]

Can't handle 5 rejections a month? Think of yourself as weak sauce.

 

[marmel75]

Get a job in sales. You will get rejected so many times a day you will become numb to it.

 

[zonn]

Get a job in sales. You will get rejected so many times a day you will become numb to it.

That don't mean $hit. My best buddy is a salesman and he is very good at it. When i told him about cold approach pickup i thought he was going to kill it - he does cold approach sales all day long. But when it came to approaching women in bars he coulden't do it. Edventully he found his g/f from work. Good at sales don't always equate to good at pickup.

 

[RangerMIke]

Get a job in sales. You will get rejected so many times a day you will become numb to it.

LOL!!!! So true, I don't know anyone in sales that has an ego problem.

Really you can not take rejections seriously, you have to go though so many 'nos' before you get to YES. When you get rejected just think that they are doing you a favor by no longer wasting your time... you are now free to go after others. Don't think of rejection as failure, think of it as a deductive process.

Another thing is that you really should be dating as many women as you can manage. You're not going to care if you get rejected because you already have a couple you can ring up.

 

[guru1000]

Five rejections? LOL. Evan, those are rookie numbers; get those numbers up.

Go out in the next 30 days and accumulate 30+ ballsy rejections. Don't be such a sensitive flower.

Also your sensitivity toward rejection is a telltale sign of how you perceive your value. If a girl were to dare reject you, she is essentially losing you, as she no longer has a chance with you. In this context, dependent upon your value, who of the two truly loses, you or she?

 

[Maximus Rex]

Same Philosophy, Different Skill Set

Good at sales don't always equate to good at pickup.

Just because you're good at selling real estate, that doesn't mean you're going to be good at selling flat screens TV's. One can be categorized as an impulse buy, while the other is a long term investment, in addition to being the single biggest purchase that person is going to make in their lifetime. You're not necessarily going to use a hard sell on somebody that's going to buy a house, where as you can press a sense of urgency with the T.V. The same with a chick, you're not going to come over as pushy with a stranger. Also, with your friend he might have had the same programming and insecurities when it came to women. Then you have to factor in that me might have been expecting immediate results.

 

[ubercat]

U might wanna check out the DJ tips section different guys have different ways of handling this in their heads which work for them. A lot has been written on this and you might find 1 there that resonates with you. The Tim Ferriss podcast is also a good place to go. He interviews a lot of neuroscientists. And this is good material there on the latest science on how to change habits and thought patterns. Yoga and meditation are also good ways to decrease your anxiety level generally. Yoga is probably easier to start with you can down slowed something me and be practicing within an hour and all you need is a mat so you can easily do it in front of TV although of course some nice chill ambient music would be better. Meditation is not as easy as it seems. You really need to go on a couple of meditation retreats before you can build up the mental stamina to do it properly in a daily practice.

 

[NSX-R]

Just think that with every failure you are one step closer to success.
Take for example all these superstars you know. Before success they were failing with no end to it until they succeded but they never gave up.

The thing is that with every rejection you get more thirsty and you are losing faith. What you can do is to stop thinking about it ,don't let it bother you. Don't care at all actually. The only diference should be that when you see an opportunity , grab it without worrying about the consequenses.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Get a job in sales. You will get rejected so many times a day you will become numb to it.

THIS. This is how I stopped taking rejections so personally, for a few reasons:

1. You get so used to rejections that it no longer hits at your ego as a personal thing. Hearing no from a woman - just like in sales - is bound to happen. The more you hear it, though, the less bothersome it becomes overtime.

2. You learn that dating - like sales - is a number's game. In sales, out of 100 prospects you would call asking about doing a presentation, only about 33% of them will say "yes." Of those 33, half of them might actually keep the appointment; of those 16 or 17 people, only 3 of them will actually buy what you're selling. So, when people are doing sales, they know in advance that they'll have to do a lot of approaches in order to get 2 or 3 "yes" buys - but the pay-off is so much (since sales people are usually selling items that will get them BIG commission) that they're willing to do the work. Same thing with women - if you're only getting 5 rejections a month, you're not asking out enough women. You need to be ACTIVELY asking women out and racking up your "no's" so you can get to the 2 or 3 "yeses" that will give you the pay-off you want (i.e. relationship, sex, etc.).

(Oh yeah - In reference to the comment about "Being good in sales doesn't mean you'll be good with women," it's not about being good in sales; it's about getting good at NOT letting rejections make you feel bad and ruin your day, which is something sales can help you with. You can be a terrible sales person and still learn things from it that become useful in your everyday life, like the 2 things talked about above.)

Anyway... the easiest way to get more rejections is to do online dating. It's a way to reach out to a large group of women and practice getting rejected without having it done publicly. It also allows you to practice various openers, which will help you figure out which ones work better than others, the knowledge of which you can use in your public game. As you rack up your "no" count via online dating sites, you'll also start noticing how many "yeses" you're getting because you're asking out more women. And, you'll start getting better at knowing what to send to women so your "yes" count will increase, which will also be reflected in your public game as well.

Hope this helps!

 

[escaleraroyal]

Not sure if its call a skill or an ill. But I have developed it, its called selective memory, where I forget the previous girl as soon as I approach the next one.

 

[Yewki]

When you are completely, 100% confident that you will be happy regardless of the outcome it becomes difficult to care.

 

[old married dude]

When it happens I just simply tell myself "Eh, she probably has poor taste anyway." :crackup:

 

[TheGambino]

When you want to lay a lot of women in youre life. You need to cold approach a LOT, set a rule 3 a day. You will become better, you will get rejected a LOT, you will eventually get numbers and lays out of it.

WORK ON YOURSELF AND APPROACH!

I'm a salesman, lol I sell high class furniture, so i'm used to rejections, and no's, 0 effect on me, same with women. I smile, excuse myself and leave. NEXT

 

[Anima]

The opposite of success isn't failure, it's apathy. If you want success, try doing it in a social setting (i.e. when you're with friends or in a social circle). People try to rush into cold approaches without comfort or confidence, and then wonder why they get hit with failure. Try branching from your social circles, or going out with friends and just bringing girls to you.

 

[aforabi]

Well, sales call is NOT like picking up women ... in pickup, you clearly intend to show that you are romatically/sexually attracted to her, which is very difficult for some NICE guys out there ... whereas, sales approach is just that ... sales approach ... you are trying to just sell her something, and you do not have to take a risk there, do you?

Something about rejection?

Remember, rejection is better than regret ...

It is better to get rejected than having regret later in the evening ...

Even if you got rejected or accepted, you will be a WINNER in both situations ... you probably learn about your approach and everything else that goes in to make a smooth approach ... you also learned that no matter how HOT she was, she was NOT into you, based on your initial approach ... maybe you just keep on trying, but after a while she keeps giving you a cold shoulder, move on ... there are plenty of chicks dying to meet you ... it's her loss ... that's what i say and hit on other chick ... and i will be glad i made that decision

 

[WanderingMan]

A few ramblings on the topic:

Have something good to go home to; a comfy place, a few drinks, a hobby, a book, friends. If your end all be all is a woman, then getting rejected will be the end all be all.

Understand that it's okay to be rejected. This was a problem with mine some time ago, my ego was too involved, ecspecially when I was out with certain friends. If you're being judged, move away from those who judge - arm chair quaterbacks. Or, just don't take heed in what they say or think. "Nobody can make you feel as if you are not as good as other people, unless you let them." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Embrace failing. Know that each failure is a lesson and/or an improved strength: No pain, no gain. Understand that the pain of regret is worse than the pain of failure. (+1 aforabi)

Smile in the face of everything.

And fvck em, it's your life, live it as you want to.

 

[BrainDamage92]

rejection stings, its what makes us human

you will never be immune to the sting of failure as much as you want it

looking with irony and humour on a situation is the cure to every blow to the ego

Im one of those people who get mostly compliments. If it wasnt for self irony Id be a fuking jerk. Its the greatest tool against all the negative things. Self irony. Think about this meme with the fedora wearing guy who goes like "Friendzoned again" and laugh it off.