underoath777
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2010
- Messages
- 71
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Guys, I'm in a situation where I fvcked up, and I think I'm losing the girl I want. I realized I went back to being AFC, and I've made so many mistakes, so much so that I NEVER want this to happen again. :nono:
We read so much about what to do in these situations, and from our experiences as well as the experiences of others, we know what and what not to do.
But it's sooo hard to adhere to it in the moment.
So instead of making a list of reference articles, let's make a guideline based on OUR lives.
So I have an exercise for everyone to do.
Think about every girl you've wanted to be with. Now think about everything you did wrong. Every AFC move, everytime you became needy. If you don't know how to correct this behavior, or how to do it right next time, read sosuave or just ask a member here.
If you could go back in time, what would you do different to get the girl?
As far as I've come with my game, I realized I went so close to the old AFC me, since this girl had me infatuated. It's now a 50/50 chance on whether I blew this one or not.
Looking back, here's what I can do if I could go back and time and fix my mistakes.
1) Don't give her the benefits of a relationship without actually being in one.:flowers: (No more calling a girl "baby or sweetie" if I'm not her boyfriend. That schit is DONE.)
2) No matter how fvcking perfect she seems, don't talk to her all day everyday.
3) Initiate random no contact periods. Keep her guessing.
4) Sometimes, when she calls, don't answer. Sometimes, when she texts, don't respond. Start a new thread later. This includes texts when she asks an irrelevant question or makes an irrelevant statement.
5) Don't sit on the phone for hours! (epic fail, havent done this in 3 years before now)
6) Actively pursue other girls! I know it's hard but do it as a way to get your mind off of "the one"
7) Oh and when she says "We're perfect for each other" Remember that doesn't mean FOREVER. With every action on my part, I have the ability to raise and secure our attraction, or to lower it. I need to make sure I raise it.
I'm currently in last resort mode with this girl, so no contact will either bring her feelings back or it'll backfire, but I need to make sure this NEVER happens again.
So the purpose of this exercise is to have something tangible to read when you meet that next girl who you get goo-goo eyes over; a guide/roadmap based on your life to help you be the Alpha marlin you know you can be and not beta chum.
When you read this, psychologically it will be anchored to the negative feelings you associated with the girl you messed up with, but that's good because it will create more of a need to correct your old behavior, behavior which you realize was not manly!
If you guys would like, post yours here!
We read so much about what to do in these situations, and from our experiences as well as the experiences of others, we know what and what not to do.
But it's sooo hard to adhere to it in the moment.
So instead of making a list of reference articles, let's make a guideline based on OUR lives.
So I have an exercise for everyone to do.
Think about every girl you've wanted to be with. Now think about everything you did wrong. Every AFC move, everytime you became needy. If you don't know how to correct this behavior, or how to do it right next time, read sosuave or just ask a member here.
If you could go back in time, what would you do different to get the girl?
As far as I've come with my game, I realized I went so close to the old AFC me, since this girl had me infatuated. It's now a 50/50 chance on whether I blew this one or not.
Looking back, here's what I can do if I could go back and time and fix my mistakes.
1) Don't give her the benefits of a relationship without actually being in one.:flowers: (No more calling a girl "baby or sweetie" if I'm not her boyfriend. That schit is DONE.)
2) No matter how fvcking perfect she seems, don't talk to her all day everyday.
3) Initiate random no contact periods. Keep her guessing.
4) Sometimes, when she calls, don't answer. Sometimes, when she texts, don't respond. Start a new thread later. This includes texts when she asks an irrelevant question or makes an irrelevant statement.
5) Don't sit on the phone for hours! (epic fail, havent done this in 3 years before now)
6) Actively pursue other girls! I know it's hard but do it as a way to get your mind off of "the one"
7) Oh and when she says "We're perfect for each other" Remember that doesn't mean FOREVER. With every action on my part, I have the ability to raise and secure our attraction, or to lower it. I need to make sure I raise it.
I'm currently in last resort mode with this girl, so no contact will either bring her feelings back or it'll backfire, but I need to make sure this NEVER happens again.
So the purpose of this exercise is to have something tangible to read when you meet that next girl who you get goo-goo eyes over; a guide/roadmap based on your life to help you be the Alpha marlin you know you can be and not beta chum.
When you read this, psychologically it will be anchored to the negative feelings you associated with the girl you messed up with, but that's good because it will create more of a need to correct your old behavior, behavior which you realize was not manly!
If you guys would like, post yours here!