we all eat food
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2005
- Messages
- 269
- Reaction score
- 1
- Age
- 35
Description
This problem has taken us all once in a while, we have all felt it, I have recently got out of my anti social cage and I want to tell everyone how to do it, but before that we must discuss the actual problem, this problem is not about trust, or love, or girlfriends or even friends, its about you, it is a mental problem that is caused by not knowing how to talk to other people, or being uncomfortable with talking to them, it is important to know that you are not alone, and that people care.......
Advice and Potential Resolutions
There is a couple steps to stop being anti-social I am not going to name them numericaly but what you should actualy do (if that makes sense)
Being Nice- Most anti social people think that it is cool, or makes you seem tough to not do what anyone asks, this is the exact oposite, if you are not nice, people will turn away from you, 70% of what you need is the will to help other people.....
Being Cool- This is actualy the complete opposite of what your anti social tendencies tell you, being cool is not about being a jock, or a criminal, it is about being yourself (very cliche let me get to the point) When you pretend to be someone you are not, me for example, I used to pretend to be tough and a loner because I thought it was cool, my anti social self told me that if I do this I would be revered WRONG....people hate that, dont pretend to be tough or a loner, your not fooling anyone, you look as bad as the preppy kids dressed in blue/red pretending to be crips and bloods, not very intimidating.....
Drugs- This is the newest anti social problem out there, drugs..... I am not talking about the drugs people use to go to parties, but the ones they snort all alone in their room followed by shots of vodka with beer, This will not help either, stop running from reality (this has to do with cutting too, I cant make it a bigger section because I have never done it, sorry) Your life is too good to live with scars or **** it up, play a video game (Not a good habit but at least not harmful to yourself)
Videogames- Ahh, perfect, after school play video games till sleep, then wake up early play video games then go to school, DAYDREAM about video games only to come home, what kind of atitude is that? I understand how addicting they are (being addicted to a lot myself earlier in my life) Just stop find a better hobby to intrest yourself with, if you want a girl, I suggest guitar, you can go to the gym (this is a truly good idea, helps self esteem, and looks at the same time) or just hang out after school, catch a movie or walk around.
Self Esteem- This is a big problem, I hear everywhere, "I am too ugly, I am too weird to get a girl friend." (next subject) You are only encouraging yourself to be this way, you arent as ugly as you think you are, as long as you are nice, and not trying to be "outside of the crowd (emo, wigger, wanabee, etc.)". you are perfectly fine.
Girlfriend- The newest anti social thing (especialy in high school) is to say that one is too ugly to find himself a partner, that is not true, and only destructive to your self esteem to say that, I have asked some of my new friends (mostly girls) what they want in a guy, I did not here HOT at the top of anyones list, in fact, I did not hear it at all (except for the ugly girls) Use step one and you can get any girl you like.....
Talking to the opposite sex is very easy, just look past how good they look and try to relax about it, just think of them as friends and they will be crushing pretty soon ; )
Caring too much-Caring too much about what people think is a huge problem for a lot of people, they find themselves getting nervous and unhappy whenever they raise their hand in school.....There is no way to cure this, just force yourself to raise your hand, talk to kids around you (I say that a lot but its extremely important), after a couple weeks of this it shall be natural, after a couple months you will like to talk, after a year you will not shut up.....friends are sure to come if you talk a lot...
Friends- by far the biggest problem that an anti social persona faces, how to find friends that will except him and one that he/she (sorry if i havent been using that before, I am not shovenistic, only forgetful) likes himself. Have you ever tried to just chat about random crap to the people next to you in class, I will bet that if you are nice enough and out going enough (very trainable, just keep talking and you will find people naturaly coming to you) you will have more friends than you previously knew how to handle. (A friend is someone who you can talk to at 11:00 on the phone or invite to your house, anything less is an aquaintance.)
I will tell you now that this may not work for you, this is a compiled list of what I did to get over my anti social persona and start having fun with people, I am sorry TGO if this is not up to par, I tried my best. I am also aware that it is not an actualy issue, but so many people have been asking for help I felt like I needed to make something on this subject....thank you for reading my guide, with it I hope that you will have everything that you need in your "social life."
-Alex B.
This problem has taken us all once in a while, we have all felt it, I have recently got out of my anti social cage and I want to tell everyone how to do it, but before that we must discuss the actual problem, this problem is not about trust, or love, or girlfriends or even friends, its about you, it is a mental problem that is caused by not knowing how to talk to other people, or being uncomfortable with talking to them, it is important to know that you are not alone, and that people care.......
Advice and Potential Resolutions
There is a couple steps to stop being anti-social I am not going to name them numericaly but what you should actualy do (if that makes sense)
Being Nice- Most anti social people think that it is cool, or makes you seem tough to not do what anyone asks, this is the exact oposite, if you are not nice, people will turn away from you, 70% of what you need is the will to help other people.....
Being Cool- This is actualy the complete opposite of what your anti social tendencies tell you, being cool is not about being a jock, or a criminal, it is about being yourself (very cliche let me get to the point) When you pretend to be someone you are not, me for example, I used to pretend to be tough and a loner because I thought it was cool, my anti social self told me that if I do this I would be revered WRONG....people hate that, dont pretend to be tough or a loner, your not fooling anyone, you look as bad as the preppy kids dressed in blue/red pretending to be crips and bloods, not very intimidating.....
Drugs- This is the newest anti social problem out there, drugs..... I am not talking about the drugs people use to go to parties, but the ones they snort all alone in their room followed by shots of vodka with beer, This will not help either, stop running from reality (this has to do with cutting too, I cant make it a bigger section because I have never done it, sorry) Your life is too good to live with scars or **** it up, play a video game (Not a good habit but at least not harmful to yourself)
Videogames- Ahh, perfect, after school play video games till sleep, then wake up early play video games then go to school, DAYDREAM about video games only to come home, what kind of atitude is that? I understand how addicting they are (being addicted to a lot myself earlier in my life) Just stop find a better hobby to intrest yourself with, if you want a girl, I suggest guitar, you can go to the gym (this is a truly good idea, helps self esteem, and looks at the same time) or just hang out after school, catch a movie or walk around.
Self Esteem- This is a big problem, I hear everywhere, "I am too ugly, I am too weird to get a girl friend." (next subject) You are only encouraging yourself to be this way, you arent as ugly as you think you are, as long as you are nice, and not trying to be "outside of the crowd (emo, wigger, wanabee, etc.)". you are perfectly fine.
Girlfriend- The newest anti social thing (especialy in high school) is to say that one is too ugly to find himself a partner, that is not true, and only destructive to your self esteem to say that, I have asked some of my new friends (mostly girls) what they want in a guy, I did not here HOT at the top of anyones list, in fact, I did not hear it at all (except for the ugly girls) Use step one and you can get any girl you like.....
Talking to the opposite sex is very easy, just look past how good they look and try to relax about it, just think of them as friends and they will be crushing pretty soon ; )
Caring too much-Caring too much about what people think is a huge problem for a lot of people, they find themselves getting nervous and unhappy whenever they raise their hand in school.....There is no way to cure this, just force yourself to raise your hand, talk to kids around you (I say that a lot but its extremely important), after a couple weeks of this it shall be natural, after a couple months you will like to talk, after a year you will not shut up.....friends are sure to come if you talk a lot...
Friends- by far the biggest problem that an anti social persona faces, how to find friends that will except him and one that he/she (sorry if i havent been using that before, I am not shovenistic, only forgetful) likes himself. Have you ever tried to just chat about random crap to the people next to you in class, I will bet that if you are nice enough and out going enough (very trainable, just keep talking and you will find people naturaly coming to you) you will have more friends than you previously knew how to handle. (A friend is someone who you can talk to at 11:00 on the phone or invite to your house, anything less is an aquaintance.)
I will tell you now that this may not work for you, this is a compiled list of what I did to get over my anti social persona and start having fun with people, I am sorry TGO if this is not up to par, I tried my best. I am also aware that it is not an actualy issue, but so many people have been asking for help I felt like I needed to make something on this subject....thank you for reading my guide, with it I hope that you will have everything that you need in your "social life."
-Alex B.
