** The Long-Term Relationship **
Most of what you have read in the Forums deals with "How to get women"
and how to deal with the first few dates and the STR's. But when it
comes to an LTR, the forums leave something to be desired. So, for
all you experienced DJ's thinking about the next step up - this one is
for you.
1 - The POINT of the LTR
An LTR is a relationship between a guy and a girl that is based around
strong mutual attraction on the physical, mental, and possibly even
spiritual levels. It involves the concept of "love" and the desire to
be with someone you care very highly about for a long time - possibly
for the whole of your lives.
It is NOT something to jump into lightly, but it can have very
rewarding aspects to it and (if you choose your partner wisely) will
lead you to a level of contentment unlike you have ever experienced
before.
2 - The Principles Change in an LTR
The first thing you have to realize about an LTR is that the rules
have changed slightly. A successful LTR involves far much more than
portraying an aura of confidence and being a challenge.
The thing that makes an LTR what it is, is the fact that it is LONG
TERM. You are thinking about spending an amount of time with a woman
that can be measured in years and possibly even decades (gulp).
Think about this for a minute here - do you really expect to last in a
relationship for several years (at least) with a woman who's only
positive aspects include being attractive and good in bed? That might
have worked in the short-term for you, but that just isn't LTR
material. If you think otherwise, then an LTR is not in your best
interest.
The DJ principles that normally apply to women still stand in the LTR.
However, things are going to be different.
This is because the MAIN factor involved in successful LTR's is
compatible personalities between you and the woman you're after.
That's right - the two of you have to be able to stand each other
enough to WANT to be together happily for a long time.
Another big factor is trust. You need to be able to trust each other.
That's not to say you should have to depend upon one another for
everything all the time, but if you can't trust the girl in your LTR
then you should really consider terminating that relationship - for
your own best interest.
3 - What DJ Principles Change
Obviously, confidence will always be a booster in any sort of
relationship. A confident man is always an attractive man.
Sure, you may be able to occasionally get away with not being
confident in yourself from time to time in an LTR, but it will still
work against you if you make the same mistakes.
Being a challenge and being mysterious, however, can be known to work
against you in an LTR.
One of the foundations of an LTR is TRUST between partners, and if
your woman doesn't know much about you or where you are half the time
- then she is going to have doubts if she can trust you.
An LTR is a full-time commitment, and it simply does not work if you
try to sign up for a part-time position. Now, that's not to say you
need to tell her EVERY single detail about you - but the important
things about you are going to need to come out into the light if you
want to have this thing called "trust" in your LTR.
4 - Your LTR Candidates
When selecting a woman for an LTR you should keep one thing in mind -
BE PICKY!!! Settle for nothing less than the best.
Always stick to what YOU want in a woman. Your DJ skills should be
developed enough to enable you to go out and find what you're after
without too many problems, otherwise you should stick to STR's before
making the "big leap" into LTR-ville.
5 - The Test of Time
As time changes, so do people. This is simply a warning that - since
an LTR deals with relations with a woman for a long long time, you can
rightly expect for her (and indeed your own) opinions, goals in life,
career choices, family goals, and beliefs to change as time
progresses.
Now, just because you are in an LTR with this woman is no iron-clad
contract for you to have to stay with her if you are no longer
attracted to her. This is a common AFC mistake where the guy will
stay with his woman because of how he FELT for her once upon a time,
and not how he feels for her NOW.
Do not spend your time being miserable with a woman you today find to
be less-than-great, for you are a Don Juan and NOT an AFC. If things
turn sour over time, by all means - BAIL OUT AND START ANEW.
6 - Marriage and the LTR
It is another common AFC belief that if you spend long enough with a
woman - you should get married. This is not the case for the Don
Juan. If he does not see the point of marriage, then he need not
pursue it.
If you have doubts about the LTR you are in, then marriage is right
OUT of the question for the current time. It may be bad to lose an
LTR, but losing a marriage is the worse of the two (and more
costly!!).
However, if you and your girl have spent long enough together and are
still madly in love and both WANT to be married - then go for it!
Just don't enter these things lightly, or for the wrong reasons.
7 - Conclusions
There is nothing anti-DJ about an LTR. You will still need to keep
the attraction alive between you and her, just for a longer time. For
that reason, it is right to say that the Long-Term Relationship is the
final stage in a Don Juan's development.
For a wise man once said: "The greater man is not the man who can
seduce a million women in his lifetime, but the man who can hold onto
ONE forever."
Nine Breaker
