How to maintain confidence when your struggling (financially)?

[sam27]

Hey everyone first time poster, long time reader. Could really use some guidance on how to handle this situation.

I always did well with women. I am always approaching, going on dates, and always had a decent job that paid well to cover the costs of these dates/fun. Just recently I was laid off, and following that I was lucky enough to have a friend offer me a job in Commercial Real Estate. A job that the skies the limit with how much money you can make. Here is the problem...

I am starting to really struggle mentally because until I sell, I do not make a check. This job you can go as high as 12 months without making a check (for me it will be sooner) I am confident in that but I only have about 6 months of cushion saved to make a sale. It is REALLY hard for me because I always had extra cash to use for dates, and now money is so tight that I will have just enough to spend on myself to keep me afloat.

I have a few new plates that I JUST met which I would hate to lose and one main chick I have been dating for about 4 months that is becoming more serious. I mean how do I say "hey I don't have that much money to spend for a few months." without turning them off?

The main chick I am sure will understand but I can't help but to think that's a turn off. I know a year from now I will be in a place where I will be making big money, but for right now I am hitting a wall.

Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

 

[Tictac]

Your job (no sale, no check) requires high confidence. Not many men have the guts to try that.

You either already know how to (or will soon learn to) budget spending. So when your check clears, you'll be good, right? So this is a short-term problem?

 

[Tamura]

Ugh, you serious? Do you really need us to set your priorities straight? If you can't afford the chicks either find alternatives or girls rather interested in you or let them be for a few months.

 

[LiveYourDream]

You need to keep your confidence as high as possible, ESPECIALLY till you hit your first sale. If seeing women detracts from that, then back off till you are steady on your feet again. It's not worth sacrificing your confidence and potential sales.

You can consider doing free or cheap dates. Go for a hike, to the beach, for walk, to a park, etc where you have fun together and can escalate, without spending money. If you are looking for a long term woman/relationship, finding out now if she's a woman that would be a support to you through such a time, makes this is an invaluable opportunity to find out. If a woman is only with you for your money, than she is not worthy of your time and attention.

Take care of your job above all. You'll feel so much better once that's on track. Focus there more than anything. Women minimally, if much at all, till your first sale.

 

[cola]

This may sound cliche but any girl who really digs you wont care .. Just be straight up just like you just did with us.

 

[_sideways_]

No one wants a bum. Not ur boys, not ur plates....nor ur kids...or u urself...

It's a harsh reality that love doesn't pay the bills. Not saying u have to pay for dates...but if all u can afford is $20 dates then you better get ur body on point and fvck like a beast cuz that's the only way you're getting azz.
Or be so romantic and brainwash chicks to take YOU out.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Why do you have to spend money taking chicks out? A bottle of Puerto Rican Rum will cost 20$. Get you some of that and some juice and your good to go for the week. If a chick requires you to spend money on her to get to know her better then that isn't the chick that you want.

 

[zinc4]

Hey everyone first time poster, long time reader. Could really use some guidance on how to handle this situation.

I always did well with women. I am always approaching, going on dates, and always had a decent job that paid well to cover the costs of these dates/fun. Just recently I was laid off, and following that I was lucky enough to have a friend offer me a job in Commercial Real Estate. A job that the skies the limit with how much money you can make. Here is the problem...

I am starting to really struggle mentally because until I sell, I do not make a check. This job you can go as high as 12 months without making a check (for me it will be sooner) I am confident in that but I only have about 6 months of cushion saved to make a sale. It is REALLY hard for me because I always had extra cash to use for dates, and now money is so tight that I will have just enough to spend on myself to keep me afloat.

I have a few new plates that I JUST met which I would hate to lose and one main chick I have been dating for about 4 months that is becoming more serious. I mean how do I say "hey I don't have that much money to spend for a few months." without turning them off?

The main chick I am sure will understand but I can't help but to think that's a turn off. I know a year from now I will be in a place where I will be making big money, but for right now I am hitting a wall.

Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

I'm in the EXACT same situation.

Had a cushy situation with lots of income overseas and came back strictly for the sake of my widowed mother and am now flat broke after helping help financially.

The effect is has physiologically can be devastating.

It's hard to care that much about women when you are in aggressive sales wsiti g on that huge first check.

My advice....don't worry too much about success with women...struggling with money definitely can create a lower vibration of energy...have to think positive, though and know you are going to be successful at your sales. Women should be a distant second.

 

[cola]

No one wants a bum. Not ur boys, not ur plates....nor ur kids...or u urself...

It's a harsh reality that love doesn't pay the bills. Not saying u have to pay for dates...but if all u can afford is $20 dates then you better get ur body on point and fvck like a beast cuz that's the only way you're getting azz.
Or be so romantic and brainwash chicks to take YOU out.

This is just nonsense

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

No one wants a bum. Not ur boys, not ur plates....nor ur kids...or u urself...

It's a harsh reality that love doesn't pay the bills. Not saying u have to pay for dates...but if all u can afford is $20 dates then you better get ur body on point and fvck like a beast cuz that's the only way you're getting azz.
Or be so romantic and brainwash chicks to take YOU out.

WTF is wrong with you?

I got a couple chicks on my team willing to come to my place as soon as I text them. I'll them to bring a bottle and come to the house. You don't have to spend money to get chicks. If a chick requires you to spend money then go find another chick. You don't want that expense anyway.

 

[salinechow]

This has to be a very short post, but dont perceive it as being curt.

I have ties to the real estate business with an emphasis in Commercial. You will succeed, and it will be incredibly rewarding both in social contacts, and financially. Also, its an exciting get out there and do kinda job.
But take my advice. You must have many irons in the fire. Real Estate is just like dating. Sometimes your most sure thing isnt, and your likely to get your heart broken.

DO NOT WAIT FOR THAT ONE FIRST CHECK!!

It never closes when you think it will and youll get stressed and your budget will get stressed. It behooves you to go get a night gig, bartending. You'll meet people and make cash on hand. It will come in handy trust me.

When you close your third deal, then you can quit the night gig. You may not even want to. Its fun.

 

[KingBeef]

This has to be a very short post, but dont perceive it as being curt.

I have ties to the real estate business with an emphasis in Commercial. You will succeed, and it will be incredibly rewarding both in social contacts, and financially. Also, its an exciting get out there and do kinda job.
But take my advice. You must have many irons in the fire. Real Estate is just like dating. Sometimes your most sure thing isnt, and your likely to get your heart broken.

DO NOT WAIT FOR THAT ONE FIRST CHECK!!

It never closes when you think it will and youll get stressed and your budget will get stressed. It behooves you to go get a night gig, bartending. You'll meet people and make cash on hand. It will come in handy trust me.

When you close your third deal, then you can quit the night gig. You may not even want to. Its fun.

Excellent point. I was going to say why
don't you get a part time job (15-20 hrs weekly) as a bartender, retail or some professional service you can provide?

 

[El Payaso]

Drop the women. Absolutely drop them. When money is tight, the last thing you want to be doing is dating.

Use this time now to focus on getting your finances straight. Take up an extra job somewhere if you have to until your real estate job becomes stable.

Don't spend the little cushion you have right now on women.

 

[Von]

Buy learning and self-improvement books. Anything for motivation and helping develop your sell skills.

I am in the same field so I know what you talking about. Avoid getting a part-time job and focus on your career (real estate) unless you wanna go somewhere else.

If you get a part-time job.... make it into something you are good or is relevant to the real estate but you'll soon find it a distraction... so put all your energy in building

 

[Ronaldo7]

Women will fvck you whether you are rich or poor.

Only losers have time to find excuses to divert their fallacies.

 

[sam27]

This has to be a very short post, but dont perceive it as being curt.

I have ties to the real estate business with an emphasis in Commercial. You will succeed, and it will be incredibly rewarding both in social contacts, and financially. Also, its an exciting get out there and do kinda job.
But take my advice. You must have many irons in the fire. Real Estate is just like dating. Sometimes your most sure thing isnt, and your likely to get your heart broken.

DO NOT WAIT FOR THAT ONE FIRST CHECK!!

It never closes when you think it will and youll get stressed and your budget will get stressed. It behooves you to go get a night gig, bartending. You'll meet people and make cash on hand. It will come in handy trust me.

When you close your third deal, then you can quit the night gig. You may not even want to. Its fun.

Yeah brother I like the idea of a night gig. I have been thinking about getting into bartending for quite sometime now. The exposure of all the women you come across while making drinks is endless.

As far as the Real Estate goes I have been in Sales for about 10years. Just got this opportunity where I am in a top 3 company nation wide, one of the best teams, with in my eyes the best senior who is an animal closer. I sweat the current when I know a few checks in, my entire life will change. You literally got kids in this office 21 years old who are making 300k a year lol...it is insane. I myself am only 28 but they are hustlers though. Bust there azz on the phones, don't take no for an answer. That is how I am.

Thank you for the pep up everyone. I will keep you all posted.

 

[Reykhel]

I understand your financial predicament.......it can't be easy...

However, it would seem that your core confidence is defined by external factors.

Yes, we do need to expose ourselves to outside circumstances. Trials and tribulations. Sparring, speaking in public, socializing, working, game.....in order to perpetuate a certain external confidence loop....moreover it's what that internalizes inside us that crystallizes into true internal core confidence. It's what we do, rather than what we achieve, it's the path to achieving rather than the end goal. It's the journey and not so much the destination....

How would you feel and how would you act if one day you were swimming in money and the next day you found yourself broke.

I would you handle yourself if you found yourself at the wrong end of a prison sentence. All of your wealth stripped away, all of your fancy clothes, all of your aspirations, all of your plates.....gone to ****e......could you handle it. It would be sink or swim. Would you have the mentality to handle it?

A true Prince, even if he is arrested and imprisoned, will still carry himself like a true Prince. Even when all his external trappings have been stripped away........

You're thinking of telling your plates that you'll be budgeting or broke for the next few months? Why discuss the future with them? Why even think of the future with them. Isn't that a little presumptuous...