How to maintain an abundance mentality when you have no options and find it difficult getting a few?

pete101

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2006
Messages
1,017
Reaction score
8
How do you maintain an abundance mentality mindset when you dont have any options and when you do they aren't of high quality or if you get a HB10 as your only option how do you keep your cool and maintain this frame when in the back of your head you know you may not get anymore for a while?
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
4,919
Reaction score
3,793
Escorts and/or indulging in non-sexual pursuits you are passionate about..
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,638
Reaction score
8,581
More experience with women and you won't have to fake it.

The first super hot girl I ever dated I had to constantly remind myself of the teachings of SS. I knew what I needed to do to keep attraction alive. The desire to win was greater than my desire to spill my emotional guts and lose. Do you want to win or lose? Learn to control your emotions, don't let them control you.

Keep your mind busy on something else. Call your experienced buddy and let him talk you down.
 

Smok1nAce

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 14, 2013
Messages
654
Reaction score
595
OP. I dont know how old you are or what your life experience is so im going to give a very safe vanilla answer.

Just live life and stop putting the ***** on the pedestal. You haven't had it in a while, so what, unless you come of desperate she will never know. Just give of the vibe you dont care.

Another option is to be around attractive women and develop some type of relationship with them. For example if you know an attractive women at work talk to her as a friend. You dont have to have any intentions just be friendly.

Like another poster said you could call a few girls up every week (pay to play) but that requires a bankroll and a little more "life experience". This method can be more effective or more destructive, considering lots of escorts are irreparable damage goods and can drag your self worth down just by being around them.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,663
Reaction score
15,817
First there are no HB10s and second I would find it very hard to believe that you would suddenly have a hot woman as an option if you only have low quality options or no options available.

This rarely happens because they can almost sense the desperation/neediness emanating from you. It comes thru in your actions, your over-eagerness, you freaking out over little things that don't mean much, etc

How do you develop this mindset? Ironically by actually accepting that you are enough and that you don't need acceptance from anyone else. That's where it all stems from. Your view of you.
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,825
Reaction score
4,127
Build a cool life, improve all areas of your life and in the meantime Fake till you make it.
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
5,026
Reaction score
6,029
Location
PRC
OP, chances are that you do not rate an HB10 as your write about them in your post. As has been said HB 10's don't truly exist in the wild. That said, we often overestimate our sexual market value. I find this alot when I mentor younger males - they vastly overrate their appeal to women - and they often have their sights set on HB9 material. The truth is that few of us rate it on a regular basis - you'd have to be model quality and/or have tons of social proof, both requirements which I'm failry sure you do not meet.

Dating is like the real estate market:

In the realm of real estate, property value is determined by various factors such as location, size, condition, and amenities. Similarly, in the "dating market," one's "value" might be influenced by attributes like physical appearance, personality, social status, and other traits that potential partners find attractive or important.

When you list a property at a certain price but find no buyers, the market is essentially saying that the price is too high for what is being offered. Similarly, if someone perceives themselves as highly desirable but finds little to no interest from potential partners, it might be an indicator that their self-assessment is not aligned with market perceptions. Just as in real estate where you might lower the price of your property to make it more appealing to potential buyers, in the dating realm, some people might feel the need to "lower their standards" to find a match. When in reality its just time to be honest with yourself.

Lowering the "price" in dating terms might involve being willing to date someone who you previously considered "below your league," or adjusting your expectations in terms of what you find desirable in a partner. However, unlike real estate where lowering the price generally makes a property more accessible to a broader range of buyers, in the dating market, it works the same way.

On the other hand, improving the "property" can also make it more appealing to buyers. Similarly, individuals can work on enhancing their own attributes—be it through physical fitness, learning new skills, or personal growth—in order to attract a partner they find desirable.

Like in real estate, timing and luck also play a role in the dating market. Sometimes properties sell quickly due to market conditions, not necessarily because they are priced low. Similarly, finding a partner can sometimes come down to being in the right place at the right time.
 

Slowhandluke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 7, 2022
Messages
691
Reaction score
724
Age
49
That 1 bed home on the corner with 900 sqf that has a leaky roof and across from the train tracks, is not worth a million dollars. I don't care if the owner insists it's worth that much, I'm not going to buy it.

I'll wait for the crash just like I did in 2008. Plus, new construction are always being made that have less baggage and lower expectations.
 

Millard Fillmore

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2023
Messages
846
Reaction score
818
Your brain is a muscle and will function as you tell it to. It will recognize what you tell yourself as truth. Let it slip into atrophy and it will default to ego preservation and worry.

So, work out your brain (and by extension your soul). Affirmations, manifesting, meditation, "worry" about positive outcomes.
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,759
Reaction score
3,727
Another option is to be around attractive women and develop some type of relationship with them. For example if you know an attractive women at work talk to her as a friend. You dont have to have any intentions just be friendly.
That's pure chadsplaining. Even women at work tend to congregate with a few tyrones or chads and either ignore you, are ultra-business like when you are around making it feel cringe when you try to talk with them while making themselves available (ie overly friendly) to these other guys. When you are a chad/tyrone and giving advice like that, then you are probably used to having girls like you in a manner that you feel confident you can just make a relationship happen out of the blue at work. The people who liked your posts are also chads/chadlites themselves, but not allot of people can relate to that advice because it could put them at risk to a trip to HR.
 
Last edited:

Scars

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
1,012
Age
35
Location
Phoenix
Use it as motivation to improve yourself. My first year of the gym was full of self hatred. Eventually you get to a point where you start seeing results, and things compound and snowball. Having abundance is a by product of having your sh!t together and being THAT dude. You're trying to skip steps. It doesn't work that way.
 

Smok1nAce

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 14, 2013
Messages
654
Reaction score
595
That's pure chadsplaining. Even women at work tend to congregate with a few tyrones or chads and either ignore you, are ultra-business like when you are around making it feel cringe when you try to talk with them while making themselves available (ie overly friendly) to these other guys. When you are a chad/tyrone and giving advice like that, then you are probably used to having girls like you in a manner that you feel confident you can just make a relationship happen out of the blue at work. The people who liked your posts are also chads/chadlites themselves, but not allot of people can relate to that advice because it could put them at risk to a trip to HR.
don t flirt, just be friendly.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,105
Reaction score
4,715
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
That's pure chadsplaining. Even women at work tend to congregate with a few tyrones or chads and either ignore you, are ultra-business like when you are around making it feel cringe when you try to talk with them while making themselves available (ie overly friendly) to these other guys. When you are a chad/tyrone and giving advice like that, then you are probably used to having girls like you in a manner that you feel confident you can just make a relationship happen out of the blue at work. The people who liked your posts are also chads/chadlites themselves, but not allot of people can relate to that advice because it could put them at risk to a trip to HR.
I have one chick friend from work. I pretty much ignored her for the first six months. (I didn’t know her; I didn’t think she would talk to me anyway; and I was too busy.) Also, my hair was better back then; I was probably mid-tier Normie at the time.
 

At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
11,293
Reaction score
4,665
I have one chick friend from work. I pretty much ignored her for the first six months. (I didn’t know her; I didn’t think she would talk to me anyway; and I was too busy.) Also, my hair was better back then; I was probably mid-tier Normie at the time.
It's OVER for WasMidTierNormieWhenIStillHadHairCels.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,637
Reaction score
4,399
What about CREATING options?

Its like asking how to make money so I can make investments?

Envision the dude you SHOULD be, and work towards that.
 

CountSuavula

Banned
Joined
Oct 4, 2023
Messages
114
Reaction score
77
Delete your dating apps for a while and put in extra effort to meet women offline.

These dating apps are designed to damage men by given them fewer options and damaging women by giving them too many options. In the end, everyone gets damaged.
 
Top