how to maintain alpha?

[blackhatter]

Some nights I go out and I'm the definition of Alpha. Before I even step out my door, I know the night is going to be successful. I feel empowered and rarely stumble on my words in conversation. Many of these nights, I become the life of conversations out at the bar and I can just feel the women oozing out of their little holes.

And then on other nights, I just don't feel it. Maybe it's myself just not looking as good as I usually do one night. Maybe it's the fact that another person has more to say than I do at the moment. I just LOSE that sense of alpha because of my surroundings.

It's funny because sometimes I can go a week or two feeling alpha, and then out of no where I'm back to feeling beta.

This is what I feel is the BIGGEST problem in my game.

How do I maintain this alpha feeling all the time? I feel as if I'm affected way too easily in my surroundings.

Even my friends tells me that when I'm ontop of my game, I'm racking women up. But some nights they will ask me "what's wrong man, why aren't you acting like usual?" For this, I have no answer.

So I guess my real question is, how do I not get affected by my environment. I feel like I feed off other people's weaknesses. I'm only ALPHA when I feel like I'm better than everyone else. And while I usually do, the smallest thing can change that.

 

[blackhatter]

Oh come on I find it hard to believe no one has anything to say on maintaining alpha male status :moon:

 

[DarkShade]

I understand where you are coming from, and I think it's natural to regress sometimes. Think about it -- you can't always be traveling at 100 mph, sometimes you have to go the speed limit... and then when the coast is clear, you can hammer the throttle again.

Though I'm by no means a total alpha, I'm learning. Take what I say with a grain of salt.

 

[The Bat]

DJ mindset is not something you "switch" to when single and are picking up girls. See what happens with having this "switch" technique is that, and this has happened in your case, you turn off this DJ mindset once you become exclusive. You say to yourself, "Alright, well now that I'm with her, I can turn off the DJ mindset about not being jealous and whatever because she's with me. I don't need to put any 'effort' in because we're exclusive."

A DJ mindset is a natural perspective and natural way to exude confidence. You don't "employ" DJ thought processes. You just have them. Too many times guys here think that being DJ applies to singlehood when picking up chicks is very important. Too many times these same guys, including yourself, think that DJ principles don't carry over to exclusive relationships. Oh how wrong they (you) are!

I posted that earlier elsewhere. I think you can apply it to your situation.

Although, I have more to add here.

I feel like I feed off other people's weaknesses. I'm only ALPHA when I feel like I'm better than everyone else. And while I usually do, the smallest thing can change that.

Read what you typed.

Read it again.

Did you read it a few times?

Ok, good (I'll have to assume you did from this point). Now, the important thing you need to realize is that the "alpha" (which is a BS term by the way..but that's for another debate) feeling you felt was in fact NOT "alpha". Why? Because, like you said, you are feeding off of other's people weaknesses...their "beta-ness". This is a big no-no.

It's called being dependent on others to feel better about yourself. What will happen to you if all your friends, family, coworkers, colleagues, and every single guy you come into contact with wakes up tomorrow morning AND is "naturally alpha"...hence better than you? What will you do then? I know it sounds a little bit extreme, but really think about it. Can it happen? Volunteer as a firefighter or go work as a police officer, and you'll see.

My point is, forget this BS "alpha" status. You rely on others to create and maintain a positive self-image. This is very unhealthy and dangerous. No wonder that you "lose" your "alpha-ness" when there is a small change in the environment.

Your "alpha-ness", as I explained in that quote above, should come from within and rely on one person and one person only: YOU. Because, for all you know, everything else but YOU is temporary and out of your control. If you mold yourself in such a way that the only thing that is going to be able to influence you heavily and knock your ass on to the ground is YOU, then you have truly achieved the "alpha" status.

Right now, you're letting your environment and your judgement (more like belittlement) of others around you influence your "alpha" status. Get away from this.

Both smart and observant men and women will pick up on this very easy, very fast. Only people you'll be stuck with is the "little people who are beneath" you.