How to lose neediness?

[thunder_god]

How do you get rid of neediness? My mind keeps on thinking about texting or calling my oneitis but I know thats the wrong thing to do. I know the typical advice is to go spin some plates but when you got no plates to spin, what can you do? I've been going out almost everyday relentlessly doing cold approaches, going to social events, taking hobbies, going out with friends but thus far nothing is working. I find it kind of funny how in coach corey wayne's video's how he has readers write to him after 1-2 months of getting blown off by a girl and suddenly they are dating multiple women whereas I have approached north of 150 girls and have yet to land a date.

I hate this feeling of neediness and I know if I can only score a chick who is hotter then my oneitis I would totally kill this neediness for her. I like to term these girls "oneitis destroyer" because they are better looking then her and everytime I see them I totally forget about my oneitis. If only I had the skill to get them I would be able to move on with my life.

 

[thunder_god]

Seems to me that you are getting in your own way. Have you tried a free online dating site?

I tried tinder, it was a waste of time. I kept on getting 2-5's mainly. A lot of fat black chicks who I would never date.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

How do you get rid of neediness?

It's easier said than done but there's (only) one simple thing to do:

Lose the need.

Make meeting chicks and finding a gf secondary to your life goals.

I have read a lot of ThunderGod's material herein and you are by far one of the most proactive adventurers in these parts. However, it does seem to take up a lot of your free time and mental energy. It's the old reverse logic of when you stop searching, you find what you're looking for.

"The closest to being in control we’ll ever be is in that moment when we realize we’re not.” ~Brian Kessler

Have belief in the power of your convictions and whatever you are doing at any given moment in time, do it with your whole self and assume success. Once you truly, truly begin to assume success, is when you come to realise it.

 

[Mr Wright]

What do you actually want? What's the end goal?

Once you work that out, everything else becomes a little more inconsequential.

 

[Skyline]

How do you get rid of neediness? My mind keeps on thinking about texting or calling my oneitis but I know thats the wrong thing to do. I know the typical advice is to go spin some plates but when you got no plates to spin, what can you do? I've been going out almost everyday relentlessly doing cold approaches, going to social events, taking hobbies, going out with friends but thus far nothing is working. I find it kind of funny how in coach corey wayne's video's how he has readers write to him after 1-2 months of getting blown off by a girl and suddenly they are dating multiple women whereas I have approached north of 150 girls and have yet to land a date.

I hate this feeling of neediness and I know if I can only score a chick who is hotter then my oneitis I would totally kill this neediness for her. I like to term these girls "oneitis destroyer" because they are better looking then her and everytime I see them I totally forget about my oneitis. If only I had the skill to get them I would be able to move on with my life.

I have watched about 500+ of Corey Wayne's videos, he's like an audio more friendly version of SS, and I know for a fact that he doesn't only direct men to go after women all of the time. He advocates that you find your drive and direction in life BEFORE you go and chase after women. When you do this, you start to develope actual confidence that you can use to approach women. A positive life will equate to a positive mind. Just like how a positive mind will equate to a positive life. You can't be having women, or anyone, control your happiness because you won't be truly happy. I don't want to sound like a broken record because he talks about this in pretty much every one of his videos, so I would watch around 100 of them at random and you'll hear him talking about your drive and all of that quite often.

 

[thunder_god]

I have watched about 500+ of Corey Wayne's videos, he's like an audio more friendly version of SS, and I know for a fact that he doesn't only direct men to go after women all of the time. He advocates that you find your drive and direction in life BEFORE you go and chase after women. When you do this, you start to develope actual confidence that you can use to approach women. A positive life will equate to a positive mind. Just like how a positive mind will equate to a positive life. You can't be having women, or anyone, control your happiness because you won't be truly happy. I don't want to sound like a broken record because he talks about this in pretty much every one of his videos, so I would watch around 100 of them at random and you'll hear him talking about your drive and all of that quite often.

Thing is I used to have this crazy drive and ambition. I worked my ass off to get into my graduate program so that I could become a physiotherapist. I used to walk around with this confidence like I was better then people and I said or did whatever the hell I wanted to even if it offended people. I had goals of travelling the world, becoming an amateur fighter, getting ripped, etc. I had originally intended to put women and dating off until I graduated from school and got a full time job, but then all this crap happened, especially with the girl and it made me realize how far behind I am compared to my peers when it comes to dating. I felt really hopeless that I didn't have the experience to close the deal when the opportunity presented itself to me. I just felt utter hopelessness and failure. That's when the neediness started to manifest itself and all my confidence got shattered. Now I'm trying to rebuild that confidence back up again but I feel like the only way I can get it back up and become even more confident is if I get this part of my life handled right now.

 

[Skyline]

Thing is I used to have this crazy drive and ambition. I worked my ass off to get into my graduate program so that I could become a physiotherapist. I used to walk around with this confidence like I was better then people and I said or did whatever the hell I wanted to even if it offended people. I had goals of travelling the world, becoming an amateur fighter, getting ripped, etc. I had originally intended to put women and dating off until I graduated from school and got a full time job, but then all this crap happened, especially with the girl and it made me realize how far behind I am compared to my peers when it comes to dating. I felt really hopeless that I didn't have the experience to close the deal when the opportunity presented itself to me. I just felt utter hopelessness and failure. That's when the neediness started to manifest itself and all my confidence got shattered. Now I'm trying to rebuild that confidence back up again but I feel like the only way I can get it back up and become even more confident is if I get this part of my life handled right now.

I respect guys who have their lives together a lot more than guys who have no direction but are able to pull lots of women. When it comes to women, there are so many shortcuts to getting them. Like faking warmth, faking confidence, faking things about yourself, just basically molding yourself into someone else's standards. You can't really fake things like this in life because it will either get you arrested, get iced, or even hitting rock bottom later on. The reason why this neediness happened is because you stopped focusing on yourself. You said you wanted to travel the world and be super fit, but the second you saw your bros hooking up you began to doubt yourself. And that doubt led you to focus on someone else that isn't you. Just because you have a drive and a passion doesn't necessarily entitle you to women. It will certainly help you but it is not a guarantee, but what is a guarantee is your own well being.

When you do what you love it will carry over to all aspects of your life, so long as you accept doing what you love. You can achieve this by being more positive, every negative experience just flip it to something positive. A girl you approached rejected you? So what. You got the experience and she missed out. You can't loose when it comes to women in my opinion, your mind is the only one who will dictate you a winner or a loser. I would balance out getting better with women and getting your life on track. If you focus 100% on women in hopes of being accepted then you will burn yourself out.

I feel like you have trouble accepting rejection so I would advise approaching attractive women in the hopes of getting purposely rejected. The point of this is to get used to rejection and flex your positive mind after each negative one, you will also learn an abundance mentality. The only way to fully improve is to challenge yourself but you can't challenge yourself without a positive mind. Life starts in your head.

 

[weekender]

There seem to be a few questions within your post regardless of the title. How to lose your neediness?
Get a gratitude list repeat the list as often as you can. Visualize your success, visualize women and you being playful with them, I am sure there are methods but as anecdotal evidence shows in my experiences that has worked the best.
What I am saying is time heals all wounds but you I think you can definitely increase the pace by doing the outlined material.

And I know that cold approaching is a numbers game but god dammit, I hope to Zeus that you are learning from your experiences. What did you learn from your approach, are you writing down the mistakes to learn from? What would you do differently in the next approach, are you showing neediness where girls are repelled by you? then those exercises are necessary to get your mind straight. Are you changing variables, too much kino at the onset, too mechanical (are you following steps in your head), need a new hair cut?

Gist is work on your inner game and be conscious of your variables.

 

[thunder_god]

There seem to be a few questions within your post regardless of the title. How to lose your neediness?
Get a gratitude list repeat the list as often as you can. Visualize your success, visualize women and you being playful with them, I am sure there are methods but as anecdotal evidence shows in my experiences that has worked the best.
What I am saying is time heals all wounds but you I think you can definitely increase the pace by doing the outlined material.

And I know that cold approaching is a numbers game but god dammit, I hope to Zeus that you are learning from your experiences. What did you learn from your approach, are you writing down the mistakes to learn from? What would you do differently in the next approach, are you showing neediness where girls are repelled by you? then those exercises are necessary to get your mind straight. Are you changing variables, too much kino at the onset, too mechanical (are you following steps in your head), need a new hair cut?

Gist is work on your inner game and be conscious of your variables.

I write a daily journal to keep track of my progress http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=214387

 

[equinox654]

I know where you are coming from op. I got rid of the neediness/oneitis after being consistently screwed over by women... Well swallowing the red pill doesn't hurt either.

Something in my mind changed in the way I view women now. When it did I noticed a complete change in my demeanor around them. Before I would go up to one an politely ask them to dance. Now I saunter up to one. Use my blue eyes on her and command her to come dance with me.

Its going to be different for everyone though.

Good luck

 

[The_411]

How do you get rid of neediness? My mind keeps on thinking about texting or calling my oneitis but I know thats the wrong thing to do. I know the typical advice is to go spin some plates but when you got no plates to spin, what can you do? I've been going out almost everyday relentlessly doing cold approaches, going to social events, taking hobbies, going out with friends but thus far nothing is working. I find it kind of funny how in coach corey wayne's video's how he has readers write to him after 1-2 months of getting blown off by a girl and suddenly they are dating multiple women whereas I have approached north of 150 girls and have yet to land a date.

I hate this feeling of neediness and I know if I can only score a chick who is hotter then my oneitis I would totally kill this neediness for her. I like to term these girls "oneitis destroyer" because they are better looking then her and everytime I see them I totally forget about my oneitis. If only I had the skill to get them I would be able to move on with my life.

In your case your neediness has to do with the value you are placing on having a (hot) girlfriend. You need to honestly ask yourself why is having a girlfriend so important and if you got one how does that change your life in a positive fashion? What this site espouses is that having a girlfriend is an add-on to your awesome life but it does not define you, thunder_god, as a man.

For me, I know when I get irritated that I don't have a girlfriend, it means one thing that I'm not happy with my life and it is not awesome or at least as awesome as it should be and I know I am not doing what I need to be doing to improve my life.

Having a girlfriend doesn't change that part it just allows you to deceive yourself that you're achieving because you've placed too much value on being in a relationship at the cost of valuing your fitness, your finances, your emotional health, your goals, your dreams, etc.

 

[Evan]

You lose your neediness when you value yourself higher than that of a women or anybody else for that matter. When it stops being so important to you that a women like you or approve of you then it stops and you are free. You will have more fun around them, flirt more, and do more of what you truly love to do.

What happens to a lot of guys is they value the opinion of a women and others so much that it causes you to spend more time and energy on winning them over rather than doing the things you truly want to do. Men who simply do what they want to do and invest in themselves, instead of putting so much importance on what others think, end up living very attractive and fun lives.

You won't be overcompensating with women, texting too much, beating around the bush about sex or getting her number, and you won't have a care if she doesn't text you back. You will see the abundance of opportunity in everything. It's not all about women and sex. It's about you living your life to the fullest no matter if there are women around or not.

 

[spiegel549]

How do you get rid of neediness?

It's easier said than done but there's (only) one simple thing to do:

Lose the need.

Make meeting chicks and finding a gf secondary to your life goals.

I have read a lot of ThunderGod's material herein and you are by far one of the most proactive adventurers in these parts. However, it does seem to take up a lot of your free time and mental energy. It's the old reverse logic of when you stop searching, you find what you're looking for.

"The closest to being in control we’ll ever be is in that moment when we realize we’re not.” ~Brian Kessler

Have belief in the power of your convictions and whatever you are doing at any given moment in time, do it with your whole self and assume success. Once you truly, truly begin to assume success, is when you come to realise it.

VERY nicely said. I agree completely ^^^^^^

I can say personally that very recently I flipped off my "emotions switch."
I can be a jerk to women when I want to be but I always found myself bending over backwards for women, putting them first in my life.

As soon as I made the decision to STOP pursuing them, no joke, I felt like a million bucks.

I got a new job. Moved to a new apartment. Got me an entertainment system, big screen, ps4, movies, games etc. Started having boys nights. It was GREAT.

Women then started to become 2nd, 3rd, FOURTH on my list.

I am now having so much fun just doing ME. Working hard, eating healthy, hitting the gym, hanging with the boys etc.

Now don't get me wrong. I go out 3 times a week including weekends and have a blast with the boys. I do approach women. I get numbers. etc. but I am not DEPENDENT like I use to be on "omg I have to find someone, I have to meet a girl tonight, will there be girls tonight!" It was a sick disease putting women before yourself.

Basically I am telling you. "Women are better as disposable pleasures rather then meaningful pursuits." -James Bond

As soon as you stop caring. That is when you will notice more stares. Women will smile at you more. You give off this aura if you will that you legit don't give a fuk! That is when the lays will start coming in!!

 

[JaegerPilot217]

How do you get rid of neediness?

It's easier said than done but there's (only) one simple thing to do:

Lose the need.

Make meeting chicks and finding a gf secondary to your life goals.

I have read a lot of ThunderGod's material herein and you are by far one of the most proactive adventurers in these parts. However, it does seem to take up a lot of your free time and mental energy. It's the old reverse logic of when you stop searching, you find what you're looking for.

"The closest to being in control we’ll ever be is in that moment when we realize we’re not.” ~Brian Kessler

Have belief in the power of your convictions and whatever you are doing at any given moment in time, do it with your whole self and assume success. Once you truly, truly begin to assume success, is when you come to realise it.

Yup, working on your life goals, while you are working on those you still can't literally stop going after women since women are the passive sex