How to LJBF a FWB

[DonJuanNJ81]

Hey guys,

I have sort of a problem. One of the plates I'm spinning is starting to get too attached (she tells she misses me all the time, shes constantly asking me when I'm gonna make her my girlfriend, etc), and at this point, I'd rather stop all the sexual stuff and keep her as a friend (because we all need girl...friends. Its part of the game). What I need is some advice on how to put the sexual flame out so to speak and LJBF her.

Thanks Everyone,

DJNJ

 

[aliasguy]

You don't have a problem. you are just letting her sh*t get to you.

If she really is just one of your plates, what do you care if she says this stuff? Just nod, and say, "yeah, baby, whatever" and ignore it. Keep on spinning her 'till she moves on.

Why push her away prematurely? If what you say is really true, she will possibly move on soon enough if you keep her in her place and she gets too itchy for more. And what's wrong with that?

Keep f*cking her, enjoy her while you can, don't let her go on and on about this stuff, and eventually she's either going to accept the situation or move on. You win either way.

Just don't even listen to the whining.

you can get other girl "friends," if you want. She is not a good candidate for this position.

 

[jophil28]

OOPS

 

[jophil28]

...some advice on how to put the sexual flame out so to speak and LJBF her.

It is probably not possible to put out the wildfire that you started. She wants an LTR which means "exclusivity". She is in relationship seeking mode.
She will eventually find an LTR with someone else. Do not get drawn into her wants and needs. Stay inside your own frame and soon she will drift off and find some chump to be her Boyfriend.

 

[grinder]

Why do you want to keep her as a friend? Her connections with other women; she a job reference; is she the best mixed doubles tennis partner in the city? I’m not being flippant here, if there is no specific reason then don’t do it.

If you are doing it to be “decent” and “nice” to her then you are actually doing her more harm by keeping someone who has feelings for you at arms length away. This is dishonest.

To answer your question, it is a self-resolving one. As you lose interest in her and focus more on other women you really will not have the energy to give her. At first it will raise her IL but it will fade.

How you handle her reaction to this is your opportunity to demonstrate the class and maturity that a true DJ possesses. Your goal is for her to have fond memories of you in the future and speak well of you. This is very hard to do but a worthwhile task.

 

[betterthandead]

I mentioned in a previous post about FWB relationships that it is always the girl that wants more out of a FWB relationship and typically she usually initiates it and tis true in this situation as well. I guess you don't feel the same way about her and that's not much of a problem, so you're gonna have to cut off the sex completely if she wants more, however you do it, do it immediately like the next time you see her.

 

[RedPill]

What I need is some advice on how to put the sexual flame out so to speak and LJBF her.

"Babe I decided to stop fukking you. You're getting way too attached to me - which I totally understand - but if we keep this going you're going to get hurt in the end. I don't want to see that happen to you. Let's just be friends, alright?"

If she's like most chicks she'll hate you, want you more, and try even harder to get you to want her. You'll have to resist her advances with the power of a thousand elephants. There will never be a such thing as platonic with her until she finds another guy to get obsessed with.

You're her oneitis.

 

[aliasguy]

"Babe I decided to stop fukking you. You're getting way too attached to me - which I totally understand - but if we keep this going you're going to get hurt in the end. I don't want to see that happen to you. Let's just be friends, alright?"

If she's like most chicks she'll hate you, want you more, and try even harder to get you to want her. You'll have to resist her advances with the power of a thousand elephants. There will never be a such thing as platonic with her until she finds another guy to get obsessed with.

You're her oneitis.

Yeah, that might happen, but what GOOD does it do for the op?
I stick with my original advice: keep on as is. She'll move on and you can keep her as a "friend" if you both wish.

Why cut her off? What will that accomplish?

 

[RedPill]

Yeah, that might happen, but what GOOD does it do for the op?
I stick with my original advice: keep on as is. She'll move on and you can keep her as a "friend" if you both wish.

Why cut her off? What will that accomplish?

Cutting her off accomplishes a few things:

1) Saves him from all the inevitable drama associated with her unreciprocated, increasing desire.
2) Accelerates the endgame. It won't be possible to have non-sexual relations (the op's desired outcome) with this chick until she stops obsessing over him. If he strings her along further, chances are this outcome will not be possible.
3) Allows the op to focus his time on other things which don't get on his nerves, such as career, hobbies, friends, and other plates which aren't trying to tie him down with monogamy.
4) Indemnifies him against any desperate and awkward measures the oneitis chick might try to get him exclusive.
5) Being the rejector positions him more attractively if the story is related to others, especially other women.

 

[aliasguy]

Cutting her off accomplishes a few things:

1) Saves him from all the inevitable drama associated with her unreciprocated, increasing desire.
2) Accelerates the endgame. It won't be possible to have non-sexual relations (the op's desired outcome) with this chick until she stops obsessing over him. If he strings her along further, chances are this outcome will not be possible.
3) Allows the op to focus his time on other things which don't get on his nerves, such as career, hobbies, friends, and other plates which aren't trying to tie him down with monogamy.
4) Indemnifies him against any desperate and awkward measures the oneitis chick might try to get him exclusive.
5) Being the rejector positions him more attractively if the story is related to others, especially other women.

Maybe you're right.

I just think that keeping on doing her without offering any exclusivity (and making it clear to her by ACTION, not words) accomplishes all the above, except accelerating the "endgame." And I'm not sure why he would want to do that. He can focus his time as he wishes without cutting her off. She's just a lower priority.

She'll stop obsessing when she stops. Why push it one way or the other?

Being the guy she's f*cking without commitment (while he's doing other chick) sis just about as good as being the "rejector."

 

[crashbutnotburn]

If she's like most chicks she'll hate you, want you more, and try even harder to get you to want her.

Gold.

Women often confuse their strong emotions. Hurt them, and often, they'll end up wanting you more. I figure that they think something along the lines of, "He must be valuable if I care so much about him that he can p!ss me off this badly." Women never think that THEY are the ones who are a lousy judge of character. Women are GREAT judges of character. Just ask one; she'll tell you what a great judge of character she is. It's the man who is irrational. That, or she'll tell you she's just "unlucky."