My friend if I had this answer I'd be a billionaire!
The only thing that works for me is managing my excitement by slowly the pace down slightly.
When I'm really excited about some new snizz it's so hard to detach: the voice in your head is saying "I'm gonna bust, I'm gonna bust" and wouldn't you know, boom goes the dynamite.
I try to use some foreplay to calm myself down and take the focus off of me. I'll spend time exploring her body, getting her worked up.
Also when you're hitting it, don't just go all sledgehammer on her. Ease into it, slow strokes while you talk dirty to her. Always control the pace.
As others have said practice kegels, they help. Not sure if anybody mentioned "edging" but it's helped me. When you're jerking it, get very close to busting, then stop and try to maintain composure. Then you go further and further until your sensitivity goes down.