How to keep her...? Please read! :)

[silverwex]

Hi all,

Right ive been seeing this girl for about a week now and we seem to have clicked. Id really like an LTR with her. I know about being a challenge, being ****y and funny and remaining mysterious.

Are there any other ways, or more specific ways, I can keep her Interest Levels on a high!?

Shes a very outgoing girl, Im fairly outgoing but not as much as she is! Will this affect our relationship?

Her ex used to be over-posessive with her and check her phone for new messages etc... But if she didnt like this why would she have been with him for three years?!

So come on guys... help a reforming AFC to reach that sacred point of DJ-dom - how do i make this relationship, with this 8.5 babe, last? Im C+F with her and a bit of a challenge, she really fancies me but im not sure how to keep this up.

Thanks!

 

[silverwex]

bump

 

[Don Rageta]

Read the bible

oh and don't bump your own crap like that.

 

[silverwex]

Ill bump whateva i like

 

[trevjr]

These kind of posts are really cluttering up the forum. What to do?
Read the bible.
If you are not sure you can keep it up then you are AFC and need more training.
Why don't you tell her how much you like her and that you would do anything to be her boyfriend? Then buy her flowers and candy and take her for an expensive dinner. Then drive her home and wet your pants while you think if you should kiss her or not.
If you think I am mean it is because you are whining and acting weak.
Read the bible and get the girl!

 

[MDgood]

Wow, let's not get testy, guys.

She stuck with the jerk for 3 years because she was the female equivalent of an AFC: she thought she could "change" him. Yeah, right. Now she's learned that she was an idiot for sticking with this guy, and she's going to be more careful.

She at least trusts you enough to have been seeing you a week. Keeping a girl who's been in a possessive relationship beforehand requires a lot of tact on the part of the guy, so a lot of this DJ stuff now isn't going to apply. DJing is more about how to get the girl in the first place.

Establishing an LTR once you got her is different. Since she's just gotten out of a possessive relationship, always ask her what she feels like doing... you should suggest things, too, but then always seem sincere about wanting her approval about the things you want to do, so it seems like a "cooperative" decision. Don't force anything on her, don't push the relationship too fast or too far yet. Don't show jealousy, and always let her decide what she wants to do with her time first.

One last thing: she's going to test you a LOT, trying to see if you're possessive, too. This will be in the form of a lot of bullshyt stuff she says like she's afraid you'll get mad if she's not at your house at an exact certain time, or you won't like it if she's out with her friends on a weekend night and not with you. She'll say that she's afraid you're saying she can do whatever she wants, but that she really feels like you're mad inside. I just got out of a 2 year LTR with a woman who grew up under an authoritarian dad... this sort of testing was constant.

You just have to listen to it, say you understand and "feel" what she's concerned about, and tell her she's always welcomed to do whatever she wants, and you respect her for making her own decisions. I'll probably be flamed for this advice, but it's worked for me.

 

[-HPNOTQ-]

aye silverwex,

i think your question is what REALLY seperates the DJ from the "players". its easy to get the girl, but, the real challenge is keeping that girl's interest level up after 5 months or even 5 years. it's hard to keep being a mystery when she's been with you for a long time.

then other DJ's are going to tell you, "well, you can't always be available, you have to do other things, you have to keep her guessing still". to all those DJ's who are still playing hard to get with their LTR's, thats when a DJ like me who's even MORE a mystery swoopes in... while you waited 3-4 days to call her back, she was at my place. there has to be mutual time. cant' neglect your lady.

also, don't get lazy. there's a reason why she's with you. it's because you're a DJ. you were charming, dressed nice, physically fit, C/F. but after you got comfortable, you started cursing, wore wrinkled clothes, put on 15 pounds (or kilos), and started becoming insecure - the path of the AFC.

read take no dirt's thread - http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16682

only other adive i read in a post a couple months back-
the art of seducing a woman is making her feel special around you... and making her desperate to get that feeling. If she feels special around you, she's going to want to feel that way again.

-HQ

 

[TDK4]

I know this is off topic, but what does it mean when you "bump" a post?

Also the best advice I can give to you is that you seem to be a tad bit too connected to this girl way too soon. You said you have only been seeing this girl for a week, how could you possibly know whether or not she would make a great addition or accessory to your life if you dont even know her yet. This kind of mindset is absolutely drenched in desperation. If you continue to think this way it will reflect in your actions with this girl and it will push her away. The best thing you can do is just ignore how you feel no matter how hard it is and just follow the tips on this site until they become ingrained in you and it comes naturally.

 

[lerxst]

the "bump" means that you reply to your own post in order that it comes back to the top of the pile after no one has responded to your post. bumping is lame. Also, it is a sign of impatience and clearly someone who doesn't have this kind of patience hasn't had the patience to read through the entire DJ bible.

 

[silverwex]

Thanks guys