How to keep a positive momentum going with a woman?

[Gamisch]

Lets say you are with a woman. Everything goes smooth..not too much drama and headaches. In my language we call this" silence before the storm".

As we know, this mostly means nothing. Drama, or however you'd like to name it, is waiting for you around the next corner..or the corner after the next one.

So, how do we stay ahead of this? How do we balance thing out in such a way that we are the one in charge for as much as possible? Because when the woman is cooperative, suddenly there's no drama. Showing that SHE'S in charge! Soon as she starts acting distant again the whole cesspool of negative energy/emotions opens up again. Meaning you as a man are yet again running behind facts.

I somehow don't like it when thing are going too smooth. Because at some point you'll let your guard down and get that punch you've never saw coming and thus will hurt much more.

How the hell do we ensure the longevity of the relationship and stay in charge despite their fickle and unpredictable behavior?

 

[member160292]

How the hell do we ensure the longevity of the relationship and stay in charge despite their fickle and unpredictable behavior?

Limit seeing her to once a week, it's helpful to date other women.

 

[CornbreadFed]

This is not a simple answer TBH.

The first step is to properly vet the women you choose to date. Quit getting in relationships with women because they are hot despite the red flags, they sucked your dvck longer, so you settled, and etc. You do not owe any of these women a LTR. In addition, if you continue to fvck a plate for more than two months on a frequent and consistent basis, she is your GF. When you properly vet a woman for a relationship, you are more compatible with other so when this honeymoon phase ends there's less friction.

The second answer is to always be focusing and developing yourself. This one is self-explanatory, so I will keep this one short.

The third answer is to drop the rigid red pill crap. You don't have to be a red pill priest to not be a pushover in a relationship. Be yourself and do not be afraid to live life. If you abide by the red pill beliefs, you will always end up in the same position...Bitter, single, and mad at women.

Now if you do not want to do the LTR route than end things with women after 2 months. The issue here is that a lot of men will talk the talk, but end up making love to these women when they aren't keyboard jockeying on the internet. Walk the walk to talk to the talk.

 

[Dr.Suave]

If the girl likes Game of Thrones tell her: This stuff has to be clear or else this doesnt work: I am the King of Westeros, but you are not the Queen, you are the King´s Hand. Comply or bye.

 

[TheManMasenko]

The advice on this thread is golden. My father usually says to me "go after the things women want, not the women itself" and this statement has been so true and ages like wine. Most men who have problems with women think TOOOOO much about them.

Once you're fit, comfortable with yourself and have $$$. The world is yours.

People don't love you if you don't love yourself.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Just be a man who is confident enough in himself and has his sh.t together-- so that the woman feels secure. Women act out when they don't feel secure in the relationship and or the man is weak. Weak men tend to not know what to do with a woman or how to fulfill needs. Many times they're even scared to tell her how they feel or communicate to her like men should and ---v (read below)

Women don't want to have to tell men how they feel or what they're thinking.
An alpha male usually operates in such a masculine energy that the woman revolves around HIS needs rather than her own.. so it becomes easier for us Alpha males to always be in control of the situation.

With beta males, it becomes more about HER needs, and since betas are inexperienced with women, the women will be frustrated with him not being able to please her (not just sexually).

Women HATE having to tell men what they want or need done. It feels like they're asking /begging with their hands out. As men we should be masculine enough and operating as leaders so she cares more about our needs + we know what she needs without us having to tell her.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Limit seeing her to once a week, it's helpful to date other women.

Keep the rotation going strong.

 

[Murk]

I know it's cliché, but focus on your purpose. Enjoy her but you have bigger fish to fry, things evolve naturally if she's a good solid girl it will progress. Thinking of games, tactics and schemes is weak and a waste of energy imo. Be a normal human being not a plotting scheming internet basement dweller (not saying you are but that's the vibe this whole thing gives off). There's no way in hell "chad" thinks what you posted, he feels and does, act in the moment, the goal is you, it's your world.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I know it's cliché, but focus on your purpose. Enjoy her but you have bigger fish to fry, things evolve naturally if she's a good solid girl it will progress. Thinking of games, tactics and schemes is weak and a waste of energy imo. Be a normal human being not a plotting scheming internet basement dweller (not saying you are but that's the vibe this whole thing gives off). There's no way in hell "chad" thinks what you posted, he feels and does, act in the moment, the goal is you, it's your world.

Yeah dat
I don't need the drama of female subjectivity in my life right now. No need to turn something that was fair game to bad faith.
If there is no common ground with any female then you got to keep moving to what moves the needle

 

[Gamisch]

I know it's cliché, but focus on your purpose. Enjoy her but you have bigger fish to fry, things evolve naturally if she's a good solid girl it will progress. Thinking of games, tactics and schemes is weak and a waste of energy imo. Be a normal human being not a plotting scheming internet basement dweller (not saying you are but that's the vibe this whole thing gives off). There's no way in hell "chad" thinks what you posted, he feels and does, act in the moment, the goal is you, it's your world.

Plotting and scheming might be a little too much, but I was wondering how to keep the momentum going .

I have to say that to get there , to that positive flow, I did everything you described so you do have a point there..

It's just kinda new to me to have a woman cooperative for an extended period of time while TRYING to dgaf . Kinda backwards question I admit.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Plotting and scheming might be a little too much, but I was wondering how to keep the momentum going .

I have to say that to get there , to that positive flow, I did everything you described so you do have a point there..

It's just kinda new to me to have a woman cooperative for an extended period of time while TRYING to dgaf . Kinda backwards question I admit.

Come and go like the ocean breeze, be the gentle gust that keep the sails billowed now and then. Don't be a gale force wind, don't be the boring steady draft either.

 

[Gamisch]

I know it's cliché, but focus on your purpose. Enjoy her but you have bigger fish to fry, things evolve naturally if she's a good solid girl it will progress. Thinking of games, tactics and schemes is weak and a waste of energy imo. Be a normal human being not a plotting scheming internet basement dweller (not saying you are but that's the vibe this whole thing gives off). There's no way in hell "chad" thinks what you posted, he feels and does, act in the moment, the goal is you, it's your world.

Another weekend gone by. Had to reread this twice and dont know why the personal attack bs . Cant remember beefing with you but its oke.

As if "being chad" is the minimum requirement to post a thread. As if you are unfamiliar with the concept of letting your guard down and getting surprised by women when you think its all cool.

Whatever bro. You've been attacking multiple members so maybe you're cranky or life is hard on you now. Its a normal question and one that many men should be askibg themselves instead of riding the waves of bliss with rose tinted glasses .

And no not everyone is chad. 1 %here might be, and i am not. Perhaps chad lite on a good day. Lets continue.

 

[kavi]

This is a good question. There are fundementals that will help you with this. It is all about The Game. Once you know the Game and as importantly she knows the Game then its easier because you will know where the drama can come from and you know how to deal with it, once she knows you can deal with it she will stop it until she finds some other way to get to you. This can continue until you know how to deal with all the drama she can throw at you or she has no other way to get to you. If she can get to you too much then she can control you and then she is gonna get bored and look elsewhere. But you also have ways to get to her and sometimes in ways she dont expect, just like she does it to you, but mostly it is her works backfiring on her.

For this you just have to understand what is the drama and how are you being played. The underlying concept here is your smv which is just your replaceability which is just how much you rank in her eyes. The drama can also be related to other positive aspects of your relationship so by creating positive memories and emotions and more fun and engaging times her drama will be more consistent with that so you mostly have to hold your nerve and keep your flow going cos she will always come back and ideally you have other women in your life too.

Overtime the drama can be neutraslised if you have more women in your life and you are better than average guys.

 

[Murk]

Another weekend gone by. Had to reread this twice and dont know why the personal attack bs . Cant remember beefing with you but its oke.

As if "being chad" is the minimum requirement to post a thread. As if you are unfamiliar with the concept of letting your guard down and getting surprised by women when you think its all cool.

Whatever bro. You've been attacking multiple members so maybe you're cranky or life is hard on you now. Its a normal question and one that many men should be askibg themselves instead of riding the waves of bliss with rose tinted glasses .

And no not everyone is chad. 1 %here might be, and i am not. Perhaps chad lite on a good day. Lets continue.

There were no personal attacks (except yours aimed at me) unless I missed something? I’m not cranky at all, life is very good thanks for asking.

I’m suggesting if things are going well with a girl, you calling that an issue and planning/scheming to gain the upper hand (for no reason) is unnecessary. I don’t “attack” members I call things as I see them and I’m direct with it.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Jordan Peterson has an interesting view about this. He calls it finding a “worthy adversary” in relationships. He talks about how if everything goes too smoothly all the time and your woman is unwilling or too fearful to call you on your shjt? You’re going to get bored.

On the other hand if the chick is too toxic, constantly creating drama that eventually becomes toxic and exhausting.

Neither extreme is sustainable long term. Peterson says that there should be enough unpredictability to keep it interesting, and you need a girl with the guts to call you out when you need calling out (and we all need calling out at times.). What this does is creates mutual investment and respect.

Where there is mutual investment and respect love can take root and grow. Real love, not just infatuation.

Passionate people are spicy at times. You need a girl who loves you but has a healthy amount of sass. You need someone who can give and take a little razzing. If you are a passionate dude you are going to get stale if your girl is too plain vanilla. A passionate girl is going to be more drama, but more interesting. So you need to understand who you are to understand what you need.

Boredom may be around the corner if she’s bland. Or you may crave bland, much depends on you.

 

[manfrombelow]

First thing first: Do not co-habitate.

 

[Juanto]

First thing first: Do not co-habitate.

I agree

 

[SW15]

First thing first: Do not co-habitate.

Agree with this. It is also one of the Iron Rules of Tomassi.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4

NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

 

[Juanto]

Agree with this. It is also one of the Iron Rules of Tomassi.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4

NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

I would change this to: "NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t planning to have kids with."

 

[Gamisch]

There were no personal attacks (except yours aimed at me) unless I missed something? I’m not cranky at all, life is very good thanks for asking.

I’m suggesting if things are going well with a girl, you calling that an issue and planning/scheming to gain the upper hand (for no reason) is unnecessary. I don’t “attack” members I call things as I see them and I’m direct with it.

Oke maybe you do have a point. Had a stressful week myself.

I didn't attack you, I just didn't meant this as a plotting scheming thing but rather as a way to prepare and like I said ,keep the momentum going.

But you are right..its still coming from a scarcity mindset rather than a mindset of abundance. So my apologies.