How To Keep A Girl Permanetely!!!

[bustingducks4]

This Is A Perfect Way To Keep A Chick Forever...this Moreso Applies To You Douches Out There That Have Been Laid By Less Than 5 Girls In Your Life And Are 20 Or Older, And Have A Better Chance Of Being Rookie Of The Year In The National Football League At Age 53, Than Keeping A Girl Interested In You For More Then 2 Dates.

Ok, So Here It Is... Go On Craigslist And Buy A Big Black Nasty Hooker, From The Nearest Downtown Metropolitan City, For 100 Dollars (make Sure She Has Gold Teeth, So You Have A Good Story To Tell)...bang The Shyt Out Of Her Until Your C*%k Is Bleeding Profusely From The Rust On Her **** Piercing That She Has Had Since She Was 13 Years Old.

Wait A Few Weeks And Go Get An Aids Test...whenever You Get The Results Stating That You Are Hiv Positive...then Find A Girl Who Is Maybe A 7 Out Of 10. Where Shes Cute Enough For You, But Knows There Are Better Looking Girls Out There Then Her. So She'll At Least Give Your Sorry Ass A Shot At A Date Since Shes Probably Insecure Anyway (since Most Are). Then You Go On This Site, And Find Any Material On Here Thats Good, So You Can F&*k Her The First Night (and By The Way...90% Of The **** On This Site Is Garbage, Although 10% Is Definetely Clever)

Then Go Out With Her Like 2 More Times Within The Next 2 Weeks, And On The Third Week Call Her And Say...hey I Just Got An Aids Test And I'm Positive! She'll Be Freaking On The Phone, And You Be Like "didn't You Know You Had Aids?, Havent You Gotten Any Tests Ever?" And Then She'll Clearly Know That She Gave It To You Somehow Through Another Guy By Accident, Because She'll Have Realized What A Douche You Actually Are On The 2nd And 3rd Date You Had With Her And Will Realize You Were Probably A Virgin Before She Got Dooped Into ****ing You On The First Date With Your Fake Confidence And Memorized C&f Material.

Ok So...now You Have A Decent Looking Girl You Know...you Both Have Aids... And She Cant See Anyone Else, And Neither Can You...so Obviously She'll End Up Staying With You Out Of Pity, Because She'll Think She Gave You Aids, And Not Like She Can Go See Other Guys Anyway, Since She Has Aids Also. And There You Have It, Thats How You Keep A Girl Permanetely!

P.s............... This Is Mainly For Dudes Who Want A Girlfriend...and Ultimately Want To Be In A Boring Marriage...i Mean My Little Advice Definetely Makes Sense For All You Cartoon Character Jokes Who Have Problems Getting Laid Or Getting A Girlfriend, Think About It, Even Guys Who Have A Clue End Up Getting A Divorce And Losing Half Their Assets, What Makes You Think Your Gonna Keep A Girl Interested For Years Upon Years, When Your Success Rate Of Getting A Girl To Go On A Second Date With You Is .0004%

 

[Bvbidd]

LOL This will work better than anything else on this site.

 

[Jon55]

Can I Ask Why Every Word Is In Caps? I Mean What Do You Use To Do Such An Annoying Thing? Surely You Don't Hit Shift Every 2 Seconds.


But really, this isn't that funny...

 

[War Against Betaism]

I couldn't bear to rape my eyes anymore after reading the first sentence.

 

[snowdog]

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH this is the funniest shyt i have read on here so far.

 

[Night Owl]

Blimey, I don't know about an Aids test, you certainly got a bad dose of the Caps !!

Gave up after the third line; Man is that hard to read.

# Fortunately, unlike Aids, there is a cure for the Caps - Shift +F3 in MS Word cures it in a split second.

Here is the cured, translated, and spell checked version :wave: Enjoy or not...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"This is a perfect way to keep a chick forever...this more so applies to you douches out there that have been laid by less than 5 girls in your life and are 20 or older, and have a better chance of being rookie of the year in the national football league at age 53, than keeping a girl interested in you for more then 2 dates.

Ok, so here it is... go on craigslist and buy a big black nasty hooker, from the nearest downtown metropolitan city, for 100 dollars (make sure she has gold teeth, so you have a good story to tell)...bang the shyt out of her until your c*%k is bleeding profusely from the rust on her **** piercing that she has had since she was 13 years old.

Wait a few weeks and go get an aids test...whenever you get the results stating that you are hiv positive...then find a girl who is maybe a 7 out of 10. where shes cute enough for you, but knows there are better looking girls out there then her. so she'll at least give your sorry ass a shot at a date since shes probably insecure anyway (since most are). then you go on this site, and find any material on here thats good, so you can f&*k her the first night (and by the way...90% of the **** on this site is garbage, although 10% is definetely clever)

Then go out with her like 2 more times within the next 2 weeks, and on the third week call her and say...hey i just got an aids test and I'm positive! she'll be freaking on the phone, and you be like "didn't you know you had aids?, haven't you gotten any tests ever?" and then she'll clearly know that she gave it to you somehow through another guy by accident, because she'll have realized what a douche you actually are on the 2nd and 3rd date you had with her and will realize you were probably a virgin before she got dooped into ****ing you on the first date with your fake confidence and memorized c&f material.

Ok so...now you have a decent looking girl you know...you both have aids... and she cant see anyone else, and neither can you...so obviously she'll end up staying with you out of pity, because she'll think she gave you aids, and not like she can go see other guys anyway, since she has aids also. and there you have it, thats how you keep a girl permanently!

PS............... this is mainly for dudes who want a girlfriend...and ultimately want to be in a boring marriage...i mean my little advice definitely makes sense for all you cartoon character jokes who have problems getting laid or getting a girlfriend, think about it, even guys who have a clue end up getting a divorce and losing half their assets, what makes you think your gonna keep a girl interested for years upon years, when your success rate of getting a girl to go on a second date with you is .0004%"

 

[the_great_gaia]

oh shyt, this is fuccin funny!

 

[Play the Game]

Great Tip... NOT!

But it did make me laugh... So when i take over the world, your death shall be quick and painless!

 

[bustingducks4]

Ok firstly...I did not press shift before the start of every word, to make caps on the first letter of each word...I actually wrote the whole thing in caps lock, and it just came out like that...

How is that hard to read anyway though? sure it's a tad annoying but it isn't like I wrote a 294 page novel about how ****ty my last fling was at sucking C%$k. Unless the 2 or 3 of you who had trouble reading it are dyslexic, it shouldn't take you more then 2 mins to read the whole thing. No wonder you 2 or 3 dudes can't get laid, you whine and complain more then my little sister when she was 5.

Obviously what I wrote was a joke, BUT...if you really think about it...and YOU really want a "soulmate" (even though there's no such thing as a soulmate, unless your a 42 year old single chick, with 5 cats, who reads 2 love story novels a week, who thinks there is such a thing) , this might not be a bad idea...sure you might die in 25 years, but at least you'll be with someone for those 25 years, then single and striking out continuously. haha.

most of the **** on this site is bull****...i read the articles, and some of them are decent...and 99% of the **** people write about how they had an interaction with a girl and think it was all smooth, and then write it on here, most of it sucks, and if your all excited because you had one semi decent pick up on a girl, then why are you writing it on here and not shooting a huge load on her face instead?...the only one good one i read was...some chick asked the dude..."do you have the time" and he replied, "do you have the energy

Just have a I dont give a **** attitude about what you they think of you, be confident, and be a fun outspoken guy...

if that doesn't work, quit chatting in these forums, go buy an 8ball of coke, go to a club and find some sluts who like to do it, and tell them you have some back at your place...

 

[TonyWongButOhSoRite]

You're an idiot. Don't be acting like you get chicks cause you're a nerd. Why else would you go to the trouble of typeing this nonsense to be funny. You have a vagina man. Thats why you don't go to the beach, you're afraid you'll get sand in it.

 

[MooseGod]

Pretty crude, very funny, and has more than a shred of truth to it. I give it a C+.

 

[bustingducks4]

TONG WONG-

Even if I was a "nerd" I go to University of Arizona for college, and the cali and scottsdale hoes here are hotter and easier then anywhere in the country...so getting ass regularly from different girls would still be easy even if I was a "nerd" (who knows, maybe I am a nerd, but I wouldn't care if i am or not, since I have slept with about 30 or so girls and im 22). Plus my hoes back home in Chicago!

If you want to get in a pissing contest...I am more then willing to send you my webshots or facebook links...just send give me your E-mail...There are tons of pics on there with me and my gourgeous little blond sloots...sure I didn't bang every single one of them, but definetely between 50% and 70%...

To the rest of you reading this...I am not trying to brag one bit...I know I am a pretty good looking guy, but by no means do I walk in a club or bar or party, and have girls attracted to me instantly, if I was just a wallflower, my success would be 0%...and I might have been with 30 girls or so, but I've done a ton of stupid **** that has ****ed me over, when wanting to get with a lot of hot sloots (defintely more then 30 times).

I just think a lot of the **** on this site (mostly taking tips from other dudes in this forum who are mostly unsuccessful) is stupid. Work up your confidence in whatever way you need to make you feel better about yourself to gain enough confidence where you can talk to girls whenever, wherever. I really think the key is, feeling good enough about yourself, where if you FCUK up a pick up attempt you really don't care after you blow it, because you feel good about yourself, and because you know your going to approach another girl sometime later that day, or tommorrow, or the next day, at a laundromat, or sandwich shop, or party.

the articles on here are pretty good, just read those...the best advice on here is not putting your eggs all in one basket...and FCUK trying to have a girlfriend...I went out with a girl about 4 weeks ago who ive known loosely for about 2 years and have wanted for about a year also. went to a bar had some drinks with her and ended up making out and that was all...I was thinking OK sweet I'll bag her the next time call her up to see her...called her two times in the next 2 weeks, and no response, probably seeing other guys cuz she has tons of guys wanting her and she's a sloot anyway and just wanted to bang her...a while back I would have let this bother me for a month or two...and it did bother me for a week though, I'm only human, but within the next 2-3 weeks after i saw her,I was still randomly talking and getting the numbers of 3-4 other girls, and that one girl, I don't even think about anymore, even though I want her a lot still.

Just today at lunch...some greenpeace girl on the corner of the street, stopped me and my friend to register for some BS don't cut down the trees in siberia or something like that , my friend just walked by, like **** this, and i stopped because she was cute, and she went into her whole spheel so I was like look, maybe on my way out after lunch...cuz there was some 15 dollar registration fee...So on my way out I was like look, I'm more then willing to hear what you have to say, and maybe even register...but if you want me to do this, you have to come to a pregame party at my place this weekend or next, and you can tell me more about it while we are having drinks. And she is like sure, give me your number... who know's if she'll call, i bet she will because she seemed pretty intensely devoted to saving the effing trees, but if she doesn't I don't give a shyt, because I'll be getting hammered tonite at a party prob, trying to pick up someone else.
And that was hardly a classic pick up at all, I just got creative... she wanted something from me, so I turned it around and said, well, I think your cute, so why don't you come party with me one night, and ill fill out your save the rainforests sheet, and listen to what you have to say about it while we drink. So if she calls, she's probably interested in more then having her sheet filled out.

The people who write articles on the hompage,say to never try and initiate having a girl be your girlfriend are right, but seriously, if your getting numbers of 2-3 girls a week, you won't really want a girlfriend that badly (and the people on this site who write the articles advocate getting as many dates as possible, so those two things go hand and hand), well maybe you'd like to have a GF, but if you end up settling in with one girlfriend, it'll be because she brought it up, cuz your seeing other girls casually, and thats key!

 

[bustingducks4]

TONG WONG-

also...I'm on here, because I read the SOSUAVE articles, and just recently noticed there is a forum...I like to learn new things, I thought hey, maybe some of the forum **** is good...When most of it is not...And so I decided to write the AIDS thing as a joke late at night when I couldn't sleep one night before class, and didn't want to study...

AND like i said, TONG WONG, send me your Email, and I am more then willing to send you my facebook link or webshots link, and you can see all the chicks, in my albums of pics with me, that I don't get, because I'm a "nerd" lol...I know you won't send your E-mail though, because you will be proven wrong, and see that I do in fact get and have plenty of girls. I have nothing to prove to you, but I do like putting little bytches like yourself in their place, who talk shyt, and have no evidence to back up their claims, but I have the evidence to shut you up, and show you that you you don't get women, or at least not nearly as many as I do (and to the rest of you I'm saying that directly to him, and not bragging, no reason to brag, don't know any of you anyway, so it isn't like my stock is going to go up in any significant way obviously)

 

[bustingducks4]

And I am making fun of some of the posts on here of guys who are giving play by play of their last pick up attempt, because most of them are stupid...and I'm trying to instill into some of your brains, that reading people's pick up attempts on here is counterr productive, when you just gotta be confident, or become confident, and go out and wing it...

I'm not personally attacking anyone, although some of you who might read this thread, will have in fact posted play by play pick up attempts on here...but I don't know you, so it isn't like some personal attack, I am generalizing from a lot of posts I read, I'm not singling anyone out

 

[TonyWongButOhSoRite]

Are you some type of dummy? I read the first few lines of you're post and stoped after that cause its too long and I aint readin 3 posts from you. I did read the part about you offering me you're face book so that I can see you're not a nerd but no thanks I'll just take you're word for it. You get fairly wound up for some guy who doesnt care about things. Don't need to prove anthing to me.

 

[Real]

sounds like the perfect plan for Luke Skywalker

 

[TheAdonis]

Ya sure it will work but youll die 10 years later, and youll bring her down with you. See this is the kind of thing that gives all dudes a bad rep when it comes to how a girl thinks about a guy. Im hoping all this is a joke, cuz really it isnt that hard to keep a girlfriend. All you have to do is be unpredictable, and love her less then she loves you, and there you go your in the drivers seat. Its that easy.

 

[bustingducks4]

Of course what I wrote is a joke...if anyone even has to think about it, whether what I wrote initially is a joke or not, then you are retarded.

it's idiots like TONY WONG, who actually took it seriously, and attacked me, clearly because he doesnt get bytches, that made me fire back semi seriously.

what did you write? I have a vagina, which is why I don't go to the beach, because i'll get sand in it?

Lamest diss I've ever heard, 3rd grader material...your lack of wittiness, proves to me you have a lot of trouble trying to get laid

 

[DJVladdy]

I see people commenting and all, but here is my comment:
With all due respect,
Never post this kind of **** again.

 

[TonyWongButOhSoRite]

Of course what I wrote is a joke...if anyone even has to think about it, whether what I wrote initially is a joke or not, then you are retarded.

it's idiots like TONY WONG, who actually took it seriously, and attacked me, clearly because he doesnt get bytches, that made me fire back semi seriously.

what did you write? I have a vagina, which is why I don't go to the beach, because i'll get sand in it?

Lamest diss I've ever heard, 3rd grader material...your lack of wittiness, proves to me you have a lot of trouble trying to get laid

I knew you where jokeing I just dissed you cause you're an idiot for takeing the time to write it. And my god arent you senstive. I wrote about 2 lines of a diss to you and you've made about 3 posts about me in return. You're prove men can have periods. My lac of witiness proves I have trouble getting laid eh? Sorry but I don't come on here to make strangers from all around the world laugh like you. That is why you went to the trouble of typeing that nonsense wasnt it? As a joke. My you're sad. Prove to me that you have trouble getting laid is that you take everything to heart and complety spaz out. You probaly cry when girls reject you don't you? Stop trying to be smart, It doesn't suit stupid people.