How to improve quicker?

[crossboss]

I haven't improved much on the six years I have been on this site. I have improved a little a little, I had a girlfriend for about a month(who suffers from mental illness). I broke up later, because I ran into other problems in my life(depression) where I couldn't date. I never got laid or anything. Most people who have been on this site for 6 years should be able to be laid by now.

What have I done, wrong? I haven't read the complete bible, because I think reading too much and taking no action won't help you. The ratio I have been told is (read 10% - approach 90%). I did some approaching a couple of years ago, however, most of them had a big ego, and blew me off. I still have never been laid.

I would like to know how to improve faster, so I don't have to come on this site and ask stupid questions. I look like and idiot when I come on this site because I am still a newb. My only excuse, is that I have had depression, and anxiety problems I've dealt with. However, I don't want to make an excuse for myself.

I am taking corrective action by lifting weights, I am kind of fat, so I want to gain muscle. I am talking to people, I know, for skills. However, that people I associate with have poor social skills as well. I haven't been approaching recently, because it is depressing. I have very little positive responses when I approach. Maybe, I need an ass kicking so I can believe some day I will get better.

Should I read, the whole DJ Bible(first), and then approach? How can I improve, so that in a year, I can get laid?

 

[iliketennis]

do you have friends? hobbies? a job?

 

[~ Entity Unknown ~]

Look at it as a business plan... you dont open ur shop until you are ready:

1) Work on your figure

2) Work on your confidence, who cares if you get rejected, talk to women, even if you use an excuse of asking for directions at a mall to a certain shop, its about making conversation with a woman and feeling comfortable, so that when the right time comes u'll be able to talk with confidence, and the directions at a mall is a good place to start, especially if ur scared of rejection.

3) Concentrate on making yourself a success in all other aspects of your life, work, income, friends, hobbies, gym, etc

And regarding the bible... knowledge is power... so I would recommend reading all of it, while keeping an open mind, its all about mixing the bible into your own individuality, and finding the perfect balance that works for YOU.

Good luck!

 

[CarlitosWay]

I haven't improved much on the six years I have been on this site. I have improved a little a little, I had a girlfriend for about a month(who suffers from mental illness). I broke up later, because I ran into other problems in my life(depression) where I couldn't date. I never got laid or anything. Most people who have been on this site for 6 years should be able to be laid by now.

What have I done, wrong? I haven't read the complete bible, because I think reading too much and taking no action won't help you. The ratio I have been told is (read 10% - approach 90%). I did some approaching a couple of years ago, however, most of them had a big ego, and blew me off. I still have never been laid.

Just read and approach as much as you can. That way stuff is fresh in your head and you can try things/prac and gain experience.

I would like to know how to improve faster, so I don't have to come on this site and ask stupid questions. I look like and idiot when I come on this site because I am still a newb. My only excuse, is that I have had depression, and anxiety problems I've dealt with. However, I don't want to make an excuse for myself.

Do you see a therapist?


I am taking corrective action by lifting weights, I am kind of fat, so I want to gain muscle.

Kind of fat probably means you're noticeably out-of-shape. Take care of that pronto (weights 4-5 times a week, lots of high intense interval cardio work, plus 1 day of circuits). You not only will look better but it will build your confidence up greatly.

I am talking to people, I know, for skills. However, that people I associate with have poor social skills as well. I haven't been approaching recently, because it is depressing. I have very little positive responses when I approach. Maybe, I need an ass kicking so I can believe some day I will get better.

Associate yourself with people at the gym, I've met some of the coolest most humble people right in a gym or in lifting groups dedicated to training with the good ol' iron.

Should I read, the whole DJ Bible(first), and then approach? How can I improve, so that in a year, I can get laid?

No do both simultaneously. At times you're going to have to take risks, put yourself in uncomfortable positions until they become comfortable and you'll begin to setup your own unique smooth style as you gain experience. Learn from others but there's only one of you and as an individual you have to build yourself up on your own, no one is going to hold your hands through all of this. Never.

 

[crossboss]

do you have friends? hobbies? a job?

I have one friend, who was my previous girlfriend. I play Ultimate Frisbee once a week as a hobby, with University of Michigan grads. I don't have a job, I live with my folks, and eventually I'll be looking for one.

I guess I kind of give off the vibe I have no friends or a job. I guess that doesn't really help in getting laid.

 

[crossboss]

Look at it as a business plan... you dont open ur shop until you are ready:

1) Work on your figure

I'll work out, and eventually do some cardio

2) Work on your confidence, who cares if you get rejected, talk to women, even if you use an excuse of asking for directions at a mall to a certain shop, its about making conversation with a woman and feeling comfortable, so that when the right time comes u'll be able to talk with confidence, and the directions at a mall is a good place to start, especially if ur scared of rejection.

I used to actually try this technique, until I realized it didn't work. However, I'll try again to improve confidence, and it sounds like a good exercise.

3) Concentrate on making yourself a success in all other aspects of your life, work, income, friends, hobbies, gym, etc

I'll work on my life skills as a priority over ladies

And regarding the bible... knowledge is power... so I would recommend reading all of it, while keeping an open mind, its all about mixing the bible into your own individuality, and finding the perfect balance that works for YOU.

Good luck!

Thanks, I'll read the whole bible.

 

[crossboss]

No do both simultaneously. At times you're going to have to take risks, put yourself in uncomfortable positions until they become comfortable and you'll begin to setup your own unique smooth style as you gain experience. Learn from others but there's only one of you and as an individual you have to build yourself up on your own, no one is going to hold your hands through all of this. Never.

Sounds good...I'll have to take charge of my life, and not have someone hold my hand.

 

[~ Entity Unknown ~]

Regarding the workout - I would do Cardio at the same time as weights.

I do a 40 minute to a 1 hour cycle every day (4 times a week) and then about 1 hour of weights. Cardio is a must in my opinion, especially if you're overweight.

Just my 2c on the topic.

 

[The Experience]

I haven't improved much on the six years I have been on this site. I have improved a little a little, I had a girlfriend for about a month(who suffers from mental illness). I broke up later, because I ran into other problems in my life(depression) where I couldn't date. I never got laid or anything. Most people who have been on this site for 6 years should be able to be laid by now.

What have I done, wrong? I haven't read the complete bible, because I think reading too much and taking no action won't help you. The ratio I have been told is (read 10% - approach 90%). I did some approaching a couple of years ago, however, most of them had a big ego, and blew me off. I still have never been laid.

I would like to know how to improve faster, so I don't have to come on this site and ask stupid questions. I look like and idiot when I come on this site because I am still a newb. My only excuse, is that I have had depression, and anxiety problems I've dealt with. However, I don't want to make an excuse for myself.

I am taking corrective action by lifting weights, I am kind of fat, so I want to gain muscle. I am talking to people, I know, for skills. However, that people I associate with have poor social skills as well. I haven't been approaching recently, because it is depressing. I have very little positive responses when I approach. Maybe, I need an ass kicking so I can believe some day I will get better.

Should I read, the whole DJ Bible(first), and then approach? How can I improve, so that in a year, I can get laid?

- Find something you like to do and do it. Working out is fine, but having another hobby (something you do outside your house) that you like to do makes you happy and lets others know that you are happy (happiness attracts others).

- Take your mind off of getting laid, instead focus it on something faster, such as just talking to girls. If you have poor social skills read up on some books to help you learn then apply. You can also take speaking classes which will also help.

- There is no such thing as a stupid question and why do you think people come to this site? To learn. You are not the only one who's trying to figure out the game. Don't look at yourself as a failure, you're not even close to being failure.

 

[snowdog]

Go out more.

 

[EFFORT]

I haven't improved much on the six years I have been on this site. I have improved a little a little, I had a girlfriend for about a month(who suffers from mental illness). I broke up later, because I ran into other problems in my life(depression) where I couldn't date.

You need to get your depression worked out, people can feel that your depressed and no one wants to be around a downer. Do some research to find out what you really have then take the appropriate medication+group therapy



I never got laid or anything. Most people who have been on this site for 6 years should be able to be laid by now.


Something is off. You could be socially awkward, you could be ugly, you might not be going out enough, you might be in a bad location, its hard to know exactly whats going on without more info/pics.

A lot will flame/disagree with me on this but if you want to get laid you can just buy an escort that the majority of this forum would consider a 10 and get that experience under your belt. If you have ego issues and/or paying for sex drama worries I wouldn't even bother since you'll just end up depressed afterwards.



What have I done, wrong? I haven't read the complete bible, because I think reading too much and taking no action won't help you. The ratio I have been told is (read 10% - approach 90%). I did some approaching a couple of years ago, however, most of them had a big ego, and blew me off. I still have never been laid.

How much is some approaching?

I would like to know how to improve faster, so I don't have to come on this site and ask stupid questions. I look like and idiot when I come on this site because I am still a newb. My only excuse, is that I have had depression, and anxiety problems I've dealt with. However, I don't want to make an excuse for myself.

Depression and anxiety is actually a valid reason I wouldn't view it as an excuse. If your walking around with depression and anxiety your going to have a hard time in all areas of you life. The real excuse your making is what your reason is for not getting the depression+anxiety handle asap

I am taking corrective action by lifting weights, I am kind of fat, so I want to gain muscle.

good

I am talking to people, I know, for skills. However, that people I associate with have poor social skills as well.

you need to start branching out meet new people. How old are you?

I haven't been approaching recently, because it is depressing. I have very little positive responses when I approach. Maybe, I need an ass kicking so I can believe some day I will get better.

see summary

Should I read, the whole DJ Bible(first), and then approach? How can I improve, so that in a year, I can get laid?

You need to work on yourself. This year needs to be about you, not about trying to get laid. You need to figure yourself and your life out. The first thing you need to do is get your depression +anxiety treated. Go psychiatrist and get on some medications and ask them about group therapy groups.

Figure out your money. Are you in school? Do you have a Job? Get that worked out so you have income coming in. Then move on to the next thing....

Once you have depression+anxiety treatment in the motions add some SOCIALLY INTERACTIVE hobbies to your life. You need to start out with a male only type of hobby. Look for MMA gyms, or any sort of boxing, martial arts in your area. You need to be around ****y, alpha type men in a men only jocky type of environment. Even if your socially awkward, just be authentic with the guys there, be dedicated to the martial art and they'll accept you. After time you'll develop some good friends to go out with.

Once the martial arts are in motion start taking dance classes. It'll be fun even if you suck and you'll start meeting women. You'll get better as well and it'll be helpful in the future.

Again once thats in motion add in some sort of outdoor adventure/camping club or even join a fun softball type league thing

Also look to add in some sort of volunteering like habitat for humanity

You want to have at least 3 main social hobbies your involved with 1 being male only for the most part and at least 1 volunteering gig but don't limit yourself do as many interactive social things as you can.

Once you have your social hobbies in place start adding some by yourself type stuff. Buy a cheap guitar off craigslist and teach yourself how to play over youtube. It'll give you something to do as well during off time. Learn how to cook as well. You can even taking cooking classes or join cooking clubs. Google is your friend when it comes to discovering things.

If your location is a downer then research a new place you'd like to live and come up with a plan to get there. Don't stay in a dead in town that you hate, life is too short.

Anyhow that'll get you moving in the right direction.

For extra inspiration read this http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=162396

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[Maxtro]

What situations do you put yourself in where you can meet girls?

 

[iliketennis]

you need to make guy friends first. hang out with your frisbee buddies

 

[crossboss]

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I believe part of my problem with girls is that I am in a bad location. I live by the University of Michigan, which is a top tier school. They kind of expect to have you act together, like life skills. A lot of people are stuck up there, and they feel like that have the best school in the state of Michigan. You get a lot of engineers, law students, and doctors there.

I guess I'll have to take a break from girls, and work on my life skills. Thanks guys for all of your help, I'll try and get better.

 

[suavesuave]

Dont' get pissed or anything. Chicks don't like fat boys.

 

[Tesl]

I have one friend, who was my previous girlfriend. I play Ultimate Frisbee once a week as a hobby, with University of Michigan grads. I don't have a job, I live with my folks, and eventually I'll be looking for one.

I guess I kind of give off the vibe I have no friends or a job. I guess that doesn't really help in getting laid.

Why don't you have a job? (if you don't mind me asking)

Honestly, I think you need to spend a lot of time working on yourself both physically and mentally. If you are unemployed and depressed, that isn't the type of guy women are looking for. Once you have made real improvements in your life that will boost your confidence, and once that happens everything will start to come together.

If just getting laid is all that matters then just pay for it if you have to. Sex really isn't a big deal at all.

 

[crossboss]

What situations do you put yourself in where you can meet girls?

I used to go clubbing with some AFC guys about 3 years ago. I probably did approaching for about 7 months total, I did approaching twice a week in clubs. The girls seemed stuck up. I didn't have much a success. So, I went to this psych ward to help with my mental illness, after the 4 months. Until, recently, I didn't do too much.

About 3 months ago, I did find some wing women, through connections. However they aren't normal, they have emotional problems, and so I had to leave one of them. The one I ditched is bi-polar, and she had a lot anger issues. I however, didn't put in much effort with approaching other girls when they were around though, I kind of just hung out with them.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

You lack ambition.

 

[crossboss]

Why don't you have a job? (if you don't mind me asking)

Honestly, I think you need to spend a lot of time working on yourself both physically and mentally. If you are unemployed and depressed, that isn't the type of guy women are looking for. Once you have made real improvements in your life that will boost your confidence, and once that happens everything will start to come together.

If just getting laid is all that matters then just pay for it if you have to. Sex really isn't a big deal at all.

I don't have a job, because I don't think I am ready yet. My depression is bad. You're right, if I work on myself for an extended period of time, I will get the life skills. Then concentrate on girls.

 

[crossboss]

Hobbies that I will continue to do:

I will play the piano, which I am good at. I will also play trumpet, which I used to play 10 years ago. I have been doing cooking, and I will try and find more activities to do. I might pickup drawing or painting. I'll have to find, activities that I am good at. I might try some martial arts, so I can meet some tough guys.