How To Identify Borderline Personality?

[soulforge]

I can't say for sure, I've never come across a BPD girl, as far as I can tell.

But I have a cousin, who I've hung out with quite a bit, and he has BPD.

He's a cool dude when he's in a good mood. He gets easily obsessed with certain topics, and I think that's what keeps him from going off the hinges. I'm sure he takes medicine. He also smokes pot a lot, so I'm sure that doesn't help.

The main thing I've noticed is unstable moods.

We'll be talking about random stuff, and he'll suddenly get very intense about the topic. And I'll let him talk and rant about whatever it is. He'll talk your head off about whatever he's obsessed with. Usually, it's something like constellations and science related stuff.

He's cool to hang with on occasion, but living with him as a roommate would be a no go.

I would imagine being with a girl who has BPD, and knowing how they can't separate the emotions from the guy they're with has to be a recipe for disaster.

Initially, I wouldn't be able to tell unless I had a conversation with the girl, and let her talk.

Combine instability in mood with the emotional state of women (leading with emotion), and you'll be able to see something's off when she's talking. Even if you can't tell it's BPD.

Good analysis. I think you can sense something is off with the personality.

Especially if she goes from Very sweet, to quite agressive over something minor.

 

[mbc0029]

If anyone wants to do a test (not conclusive, but potentially indicative) to determine how they score for dark triad:

Dark Triad Personality Test

Test matching your answers to the crowd-sourced profiles of fictional characters.

openpsychometrics.org

View attachment 10900
If anyone wants to do a test (not conclusive, but potentially indicative) to determine how they score for dark triad:

Dark Triad Personality Test

Test matching your answers to the crowd-sourced profiles of fictional characters.

openpsychometrics.org

I was high on Machiavellianism (4.3).

Low on the other two (2.3 on Narcissism, and 2.4 on Psychopathy)

I've taken tests like this in the past, and I generally get a 3 or higher on Machiavellianism. The other two are mixed results.

 

[Rainman4707]

I understand you're enjoying the sex/connection etc.. However the danger is, she might come to the conclusion some day soon, that this guy tolerates too much, I can treat him anyway I want and he takes it.

This could lead to her losing respect and leaving you.

If she does, then i dont care.

 

[soulforge]

If she does, then i dont care.

Fair enough mate, if you don't feel for her in that way, keep doing what you're doing.

 

[mbc0029]

Good analysis. I think you can sense something is off with the personality.

Especially if she goes from Very sweet, to quite agressive over something minor.

I looked up some of the symptoms for BPD vs. Bipolar. Even though they're different, they both involve changes in mood. BPD mood swings are quicker and can happen more often, but not as long as Bipolar mood swings.

Bipolar occurs every so often, and can last for days or weeks. It's like a longer, drawn out version of BPD in that sense. Whatever the phase (high or low), they swing drastically in either direction. Doesn't happen as often as BPD, but it's more extreme, and lasts for a long time.

BPD has more constant mood swings. Bipolar has less, but more extreme, long, drawn out mood changes.

I like to compare the two because I've seen people with both, and it was evident that mood swings played a role in both.

Basically, if you're ever in a relationship with a girl, and you suddenly notice she's acting way different, ask her if she has Bipolar disorder. Whenever she's in the "up" phase, she's way more likely to cheat, and that's when you really have to watch her.

 

[soulforge]

I looked up some of the symptoms for BPD vs. Bipolar. Even though they're different, they both involve changes in mood. BPD mood swings are quicker and can happen more often, but not as long as Bipolar mood swings.

Bipolar occurs every so often, and can last for days or weeks. It's like a longer, drawn out version of BPD in that sense. Whatever the phase (high or low), they swing drastically in either direction. Doesn't happen as often as BPD, but it's more extreme, and lasts for a long time.

BPD has more constant mood swings. Bipolar has less, but more extreme, long, drawn out mood changes.

I like to compare the two because I've seen people with both, and it was evident that mood swings played a role in both.

Basically, if you're ever in a relationship with a girl, and you suddenly notice she's acting way different, ask her if she has Bipolar disorder. Whenever she's in the "up" phase, she's way more likely to cheat, and that's when you really have to watch her.

Why do you think she would cheat?

I'm convinced my ex was BPD all the indicators are there.

However what would be the reason for BPD to cheat?

 

[mbc0029]

Why do you think she would cheat?

I'm convinced my ex was BPD all the indicators are there.

However what would be the reason for BPD to cheat?

People with BPD are more likely to engage in impulsive behavior. Since their emotions can switch so fast, and girls lead with those same emotions, the risk of infidelity goes up. You almost have to watch them all the time.

At least with Bipolar disorder, you would just need to watch them for certain periods, but not all the time. They're only impulsive when they're going through their "Manic" (up) phase. My father told me my mother would leave the house after he got home from work after watching me and my brother. She did this frequently. I would also watch her during her manic phases, and she would be in a great mood, but sometimes she would combine it with drinking. And I know if I saw a girl like that, alarm bells will go off in my head.

I can't pinpoint exactly what the cause is for cheating, but I know the risk goes up with a BPD girl. And I would bet the risk is correlated with impulsive behavior.

In short, I believe the risk of cheating is correlated with impulsive behavior.

 

[Kotaix]

The one I dated had all of these symptoms/problems:

-neglected by her mother
-would sabotage relationships
-anxiety
-depression
-low self esteem
-idealized/idolized their partner at times.
-self harm
-abandonment issues
-difficulty regulating emotions. Either very positive or very angry and hateful.
- they feel like losers at times
-they get lonely
-never really happy with who they are.
-struggle to stay positive and in a healthy mindset.
-they tend to spiral and stay in a hole for a while.

Believe it or not, there was still a good girl under all her issues. Most supportive girl I've ever been with. Understood a man's value and wanted him to be in charge. she wanted to be a feminine woman and follow. She had a very masculine solid father and grandfather that were a positive influence in her life. She wanted a solid rock that she could count on and feel protected by. Something she didn't have with her mother growing up in a divorced family. It's always starts in childhood. So sad.

One of my really good friends was diagnosed BDP. Most of the above are true for her except for being hateful or angry (unless she's drunk). I also don't know if she sabotaged relationships. She has an uncanny ability to pick bad men as partners, including a psychopath, so the bar is already very low.

She becomes hysterical/abusive when backed into a corner in any way (especially when drunk). This has landed her with at least one felony account of assaulting a cop. She has a VERY big propensity to spiral into a hole and stay there when things go badly.

She was beaten by her parents pretty badly when she was young, and has been sexually abused multiple times during her life. It doesn't help that she's very pretty, especially when she was in her early 20s. In hindsight, she sees her beauty as a curse instead of an asset.

But also, very supportive as both a friend and a partner, and feminine at her core. Her only desire at this point is to have a solid man that she can care for, and she can't find that.

 

[soulforge]

People with BPD are more likely to engage in impulsive behavior. Since their emotions can switch so fast, and girls lead with those same emotions, the risk of infidelity goes up. You almost have to watch them all the time.

At least with Bipolar disorder, you would just need to watch them for certain periods, but not all the time. They're only impulsive when they're going through their "Manic" (up) phase. My father told me my mother would leave the house after he got home from work after watching me and my brother. She did this frequently. I would also watch her during her manic phases, and she would be in a great mood, but sometimes she would combine it with drinking. And I know if I saw a girl like that, alarm bells will go off in my head.

I can't pinpoint exactly what the cause is for cheating, but I know the risk goes up with a BPD girl. And I would bet the risk is correlated with impulsive behavior.

In short, I believe the risk of cheating is correlated with impulsive behavior.

Wow this is a great breakdown. I like the distinction between BPD impulsiveness and general girls who are impulsive.

I am convinced my ex was some BPD, one thing for certain is she did engage in impulsive behaviour.

 

[The Duke]

One of my really good friends was diagnosed BDP. Most of the above are true for her except for being hateful or angry (unless she's drunk). I also don't know if she sabotaged relationships. She has an uncanny ability to pick bad men as partners, including a psychopath, so the bar is already very low.

She becomes hysterical/abusive when backed into a corner in any way (especially when drunk). This has landed her with at least one felony account of assaulting a cop. She has a VERY big propensity to spiral into a hole and stay there when things go badly.

She was beaten by her parents pretty badly when she was young, and has been sexually abused multiple times during her life. It doesn't help that she's very pretty, especially when she was in her early 20s. In hindsight, she sees her beauty as a curse instead of an asset.

But also, very supportive as both a friend and a partner, and feminine at her core. Her only desire at this point is to have a solid man that she can care for, and she can't find that.

The drinking always seemed to amplify the bad behavior in my exgf.

 

[Apone]

Dr. Sam Vaknin has a ton of great videos about BPD/NPD. They are related personality disorders and can do tremendous damage to unsuspecting people. It's important to learn the signs early so you can protect yourself.

 

[CjXo]

The one I dated had all of these symptoms/problems:

-neglected by her mother
-would sabotage relationships
-anxiety
-depression
-low self esteem
-idealized/idolized their partner at times.
-self harm
-abandonment issues
-difficulty regulating emotions. Either very positive or very angry and hateful.
- they feel like losers at times
-they get lonely
-never really happy with who they are.
-struggle to stay positive and in a healthy mindset.
-they tend to spiral and stay in a hole for a while.

Spot on my guy. I will also add:
- intense loving bombing(falls under “difficulty regulating emotions”)
- Push & pull.
- Highly manipulative.
- Very dramatic/drama queen.
- Over sharing.
- Physical aggression when angry.
- Impulsive
- No self-identity(it’s like she is empty on the inside)
- **** test after a **** test.
Im 99% certain my ex has BPD. She’s The reason I found this site lol.

Funny enough, she also had a very masculine father. She told she was looking for man like her father. She tried to manipulate/help me become more like him. “I’m looking for a real man that tells me what I can & cant do.”
Kept failing her **** tests(more like a frame test) and she warned me multiple times.
Now I’m not no pushover/agreeable but I’m indeed a nice, very considerate, avoid conflicts/drama kinda a guy. She gradually started losing interest & bounced.

This sh1t is real. BPDs are just your every day women on steroids. I advice every young man to get in a relationship with a BPD.
They will give u a great insights.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Funny enough, she also had a very masculine father. She told she was looking for man like her father. She tried to manipulate/help me become more like him. “I’m looking for a real man that tells me what I can & cant do.”

She's a little brat looking for a Daddy.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Dr. Sam Vaknin has a ton of great videos about BPD/NPD. They are related personality disorders and can do tremendous damage to unsuspecting people. It's important to learn the signs early so you can protect yourself.

Smart guy, he explains it very well.

And as 'players' you run a higher risk of meeting BPD women, especially when you're involved in the b0ndage / sado-maso / kink community.

 

[soulforge]

It's rare for a man to WIN with a BPD they just too damn manipulative to another level.

No matter how tight your game might be, most encounters men have with BPD ends in him taking a big L and being left somewhat traumatized lol.

 

[soulforge]

I wonder how many men end up taking there own lives after going too deep down the rabbit hole with a BPD/NPD?

I am sure this happens quite frequently.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It's rare for a man to WIN with a BPD they just too damn manipulative to another level.

Like I said, I have quite a few BPD under my C-PTSD patients. No matter how beautiful some are, I never forget I'm dealing with broken people who will always switch from one mask to the next and try to become intimate to shield their fear of abandonment once you've become a safe person.
I'm grounded, so they cannot get in and I had to remove two of my patients for repeatedly crossing boundaries, but in general I'm able to resist their temptations.

 

[jamisbik]

If anyone wants to do a test (not conclusive, but potentially indicative) to determine how they score for dark triad:

The test is valid, and everyone has a dark side of personality.
Mine is N:3.2 M:2.3 P:4.2

 

[Divorced w 3]

If anyone wants to do a test (not conclusive, but potentially indicative) to determine how they score for dark triad:

Dark Triad Personality Test

Test matching your answers to the crowd-sourced profiles of fictional characters.

openpsychometrics.org

View attachment 10900
If anyone wants to do a test (not conclusive, but potentially indicative) to determine how they score for dark triad:

Dark Triad Personality Test

Test matching your answers to the crowd-sourced profiles of fictional characters.

openpsychometrics.org

5/3.9/2.7

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I already know how dark I am.