How to I find the motivation to escalate with a girl I'm not attracted to?

Kal0051

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
964
Reaction score
7
So met this girl today and we went out for drinks (she approached me). To be honest I'm not all that attracted to her. Her body is ok, thin and small, so maybe a 6. But her face is more like a 4 (a bit of acne and I'm just not attracted to her facial features). So anyway, I basically felt no attraction towards her and didn't escalate (I still lead her, told her where we're going and whatnot).

Now I'm not sure how easy a lay she'd be (she's young and seems traditional, probably hasn't reach her wild stage yet). Though I'm sure there's interest on her part, since she's texted me a half dozen times in the last hour since I saw her (mostly talking about the next time we hang out).

So yeah, how do I find the motivation to escalate with this one?
 

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,114
Reaction score
136
Age
43
Location
Manhattan, NY
What do you mean, "find the motivation"? Either you hook up with her or you don't. If you're not attracted to her, that's fine. And if you want to bang her because it's easy, then that's fine too.

I'm not sure about this emotional crisis you're having as far as motivation. That part is instinctive. If you want to bang her, then you'll naturally start finding things that make you attracted to her. Like, if her face isn't hot, then maybe she has a nice butt. Whatever. It's instinctive.

It's not about finding motivation. If you're not attracted to her at all, then that's okay. But I never had trouble "finding motivation" for any of my sexual partners. Even the ones I wasn't totally attracted to.
 

The Inside Man

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2007
Messages
554
Reaction score
8
Location
sofla
PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Don't MB or look at porn
Yeah, horniness is pretty much the only way you're going to escalate in that situation. With alcohol involved obviously.
 

The Inside Man

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2007
Messages
554
Reaction score
8
Location
sofla
Kal0051 said:
Now I'm not sure how easy a lay she'd be (she's young and seems traditional, probably hasn't reach her wild stage yet).
I've assumed that before and been completely wrong. She's probably waiting for you to make the initial push and then she's going to pull you in. If its there you can go for it, but I think it's more worthwhile to try and find girls that you're much more attracted to.
 

pipe007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
638
Reaction score
52
how do you find the motivation to eat food you dont really like??

well when you get hungry enough, your system will eat pretty much anything... trust me, just go three days without eating.

you need to be horny enough in this case, stop Mb and porn watching is good.

how old are you????????
if you dont feel like freaking doing her because she is not your type then just dont do it!!!!!!

grow up!
 

Kal0051

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
964
Reaction score
7
pipe007 said:
how do you find the motivation to eat food you dont really like??

well when you get hungry enough, your system will eat pretty much anything... trust me, just go three days without eating.

you need to be horny enough in this case, stop Mb and porn watching is good.

how old are you????????
if you dont feel like freaking doing her because she is not your type then just dont do it!!!!!!

grow up!
I'm 25. I'm on a long dry spell and am having no luck with girls I am attracted to.
 

pipe007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
638
Reaction score
52
then by all means, you should go for it.

it will build momentum, and your self confidence about your ability to lay other girls.
 

Tovansky

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
66
Reaction score
1
since you ask this question itself, means you somewhat pictured yourself lay with her. So, just go for it, if it can build up the confidence you need, but don't get stuck forever with girls you are not attracted to. you got to move on to the ones you are actually attracted to.
 

Chickfight

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2010
Messages
477
Reaction score
30
Just don't. I mean if you're not attracted to her and don't want to be with her, then why do you feel an obligation to pursue it? I mean wtf. Grannies aren't a attractive and nobody feels the need to hit on them.

I don't believe in doing that kind of practice stuff, because it doesn't create the same feeling and nervousness, you might as well just find a girl you are attracted to for practice.

That doesn't mean you have to only go after 9's and 10's. Some people are attracted to fat chicks :D I'm generally attracted to hot chick that most ppl think are hot, but sometimes there are chicks I feel nothing for and other guys think are total hotties and sometimes I feel strange attraction to girls other people would call "not that hot", but I would still **** the **** out of.

On top of all that, it's kind of assholish to string a girl along you're not even attracted to. Women can be b!tches, but that doesn't mean we have to follow suit. We're DJ's, we rise above :)
 

Chickfight

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2010
Messages
477
Reaction score
30
PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Do you feel as I do that this is THE GOAL? I've been with HB9's and to be honest it does not seem to be worth dealing with the orbiters and never ending flirting and bs. As long as I am getting off, I'd rather not deal with the objective beauties(although it is an ego boost to be sure).
While I do feel attracted to these girls. It usually doesn't persist after banging them. I think the whole orbiting thing may be what makes us "fall in love". Knowing that other males desire her and can't get her, but we can.
Some good guys with high self-esteem who can be mature and actually appreciate a woman's personality with out her being hot. An example being good looking male celebrities with average wives, like Hugh Jackman. Unfortunately, I'm not at this level yet.
 

Big Overseas 1

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 22, 2010
Messages
59
Reaction score
2
Yeh. I agree with some of these other fellas. You already got all the motivation you need. If seeing her make your dyck get off the couch then you should wannu get up off the couch to go talk to her too.
 

Gangster Of Love

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2002
Messages
2,578
Reaction score
66
Age
50
Location
Los Angeles
Kal0051 said:
I'm 25. I'm on a long dry spell and am having no luck with girls I am attracted to.
In other words, The way you feel about this girl is the way girls you are attracted to feel about you.
 

Trimalchio

New Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
9
Reaction score
2
I don't get it. Why should you waste your time, if you are not attracted?
 
Joined
Nov 24, 2010
Messages
29
Reaction score
0
that has happened to me a month ago, i didnt find her attractive so it didn't happen. but maybe guys here are right, i never tried the no masturbation approach, think i will try it to see if it improves my libido.
 

Kal0051

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
964
Reaction score
7
pipe007 said:
then by all means, you should go for it.

it will build momentum, and your self confidence about your ability to lay other girls.
This is about the only reason I'm even considering it.
 

Kal0051

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
964
Reaction score
7
Swift Shadow said:
Just put a bag over her head :D
The idea crossed my mind. Though she's a double bagger, 1 for her head, and 1 for mine in case her's falls off, lol.


But seriously, I think the issue isn't really that she's hideous (because she's not), it's just that I'm pretty picky (it's very possible you guys would rate her higher).
 

drak_ool

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2007
Messages
764
Reaction score
20
Drink... a lot! My buddies and I used to rate girls by how many shots we need to take before we'd bang them. Sounds like your chick is in the 8-10 range...

On a side note, you might find yourself in this situation in the future with a girl who you originally found attractive, but your IL is dropping fast after you started to fvck her (sh.itty personality, bad in the sack, whatever reason). If you can't get it up for her, it's probably a better idea to move on and find someone new.
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2003
Messages
1,654
Reaction score
20
Location
CAN-NUH-DUH
WTF?

You're not attracted to her, so now you're on here asking us how to get motivated enough to actually go for it?

No attraction = not a chance, in my book. If she doesn't do it for me, I walk away.

Apparently you have no standards, if you are trying to go there even when you have zero interest.

This is idiotic.
 
Top