How to Hold Interest Between the First and Second Date

[rollsolo]

Hey all,

New here and just read this post at perfect timing. I have a question as I just met this beautiful girl and went on a first date with a second one planned. here's my story...

So I went for an afternoon easter bike ride in the local park. While there a girl rolls up next to me asking about my bike as she provoked interest. We ended up talking about cycling, touring, travel, art and food. We ended up taking several laps around the park for about an hour. I then proposed meeting again and she asked to take my number however, she didn't have her phone and I took hers. Several hours later I text her saying it was great meeting her and riding in the park. She then said it was great as well and we set up a first date the following Friday.

We met Thursday night and had dinner for a couple hours and talked about our interest, goals and everything else. Really good conversation with a few awkward pauses which I'd say can be normal. But during those pauses I would just look into her eyes and she would pucker up. Haa, anyway I walked her home didn't kiss her but gave a her a hug. She then text me saying how much of a nice! time she had and would like to do it again sometime soon. I got back to my spot an hour later and said I had a wonderful time and would like to take you out again. I said I'd like to take you for a day hike in the mountains next Saturday. This text was late and she got back to me in the A.M. saying Yes! Saturday I am free, let's go hiking!. That text I received on Friday morning and haven't responded back since we already have that scheduled now.

It's now Sunday and and wondering if I should just avoid contact till about Thursday or Friday and call or text her in regards to Saturday's hike? I also want to make a move this time around, she is beautiful and I want her. All help will be greatly appreciated.

 

[rollsolo]

Thanks man^. I already did invite her and have that date setup for this Saturday. My question was should there be any contact via text or phone between now (Monday) and the date? Or should I just hit her up and remind her say on Thursday or Friday?

 

[rollsolo]

Thanks man, I hope she doesn't forget me though or forget lol. Well I marked my calendar and pretty damn excited. We're both into the outdoors so I invited her for a day hike and she excepted. I leave for a cross country trip in just a few weeks and want to try to make a move or hangout with her as much as I can before I take off.

 

[rollsolo]

^ I love this thread lol.

 

[rollsolo]

Looking to really score it with this girl and make her want to go home with me. I really like her and trying to figure out how I should approach her to confirm the date for Saturday. Should I text and say... Hey! (name). Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday, pick you up at 8am? Or Hey (name), hope all is well and that your having a great week. Pick you up at 8am Saturday? Since the date is established, I don't want to give her the opportunity to say no. I rather her say yes 8am Saturday for the hike is fine. Any tips on this. I haven't gotten laid in a couple months since I broke up with my ex for cheating on me and I feel like it's taking it's toll. Me not having sex is like missing a meal.

 

[goldengoose]

She should already be interested after the first date. Keep it light and fun until the second date.

 

[rollsolo]

So I ended up texting her at around 12:48pm this afternoon. I was off today and getting some work in planning my trip in a few weeks. She hasn't gotten back to me and it's now 7:30 lol. Would you say I got blown off haha. Not trying to jump to conclusions but it's pretty funny I'd say. I mean it's still early to tell. What would be the best thing to do, wait, try again tomorrow evening with a call or text or count it as a blessing? will keep you posted as things progress.

 

[rollsolo]

Disregard, she got back to me later that night apologizing for the late response. Still on for Saturday.

 

[rollsolo]

Update:

So I hung out over the weekend with this girl and it was great... We tried to find a local hiking trail but got lost. We then rode around the park, got dinner, then went to the beach. At the beach we were talking along the shore and I went in with the kill and we started making out. We then walked more went back to my car and continued to make out leaded to sex in my car. We had a great time.

While driving home she said she hasn't been with anyone in a year and just wanted to be alone and manage herself being free and wholesome. I told her It's been 4 months since my breakup but didn't get in depth. I dropped her home and she text me later saying she had a great time and to call or text anytime. I ended up getting home around 2:30am that night and was in her neighborhood helping my partner with an installation project so I called her that night around 9pm asking if she wanted to hangout on her voicemail. I didn't get a respond till this morning via text, her saying she was sorry she missed my call last night. And that she said she hopes I had a great day yesterday, and she would talk with me soon.

Wondering if I should text her back this morning or later this evening inviting her out tomorrow evening to a meetup or just make plans for the weekend. Also wondering if she wanted to just hit it and forget it lol. Not sure where I'm at on this but asking you guys suggestions. this is the first time I've had sex with a Korean girl and she is beautiful! Should I be more aggressive and try to hangout with her? I'm only here up until next Saturday then off for a trip for 2 months. Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Also not that it matters but we were looking at the stars and I was pointing on constalations and indicated my Virgo. She then asked if I was and I said yes. She is an Aries like my first ex-fiance from 6 years ago whom I almost married but bailed. It seem like I get along pretty damn well and connect with Aires women. I don't read into this crap much but wondering if their may be some kind of connection. Any help on progressing with this girl before I bounce will be helpful.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I play things a little differently on first dates, my method seems a little chaotic/strange to me sometimes but meh works for me.

I'll take a girl out and make sure I show her a good time. Make sure I call her after the date and show interest so it's not like I met her and nexted her. Typically a girl is a little insecure after that first date and needs a little reinforcing.

Then i'll typically go ghost for a week or two (weekend or two), i'll just be busy. I'll maintain minimal contact Maybe a text on a Wed, and a Sun night. Then i'll ask her out again just before it goes totally cold. When I do communicate I try to make it short and as sweet as humanly possible. Maybe for that second date I may buy some tickets or do something special to make it extra cool.

When I do talk to her I always talk to her like i'm dying to see her but I just can't. Way I see it if she gets impatient and disappears then I just weeded out a bad one.

 

[oldgame_newplayer]

hey guys, looking for a little advice. So I met this girl at a club and we hit things off really well. After meeting her and taking her number I texted to her and asked her out. She said she was busy this week as she was moving into her new condo. I texted her about four days later and we were able to establish a date Tuesday, which is already 10 days after the first meet.

The first date went extremely well with a lot of chemistry. During the date she invited me out to a club for Friday with her friends as she was leaving for vacation on Saturday and I told her I'll see. We finished the night holding hands while walking to the car and making out in front of her house when I dropped her off. She texted me the next telling me how she had an amazing time and I responded that I did as well and send a few texts back and forth until I stopped responding to her.

Friday rolls around and I messaged her to find out if she was still going out, to which she said she wasnt sure if she was still going to the same club. I let her know I was going anyway and maybe well see each other. This is where I made a few mistakes. I went to the club and she ended up coming later on in the night. We were outside talking when she takes out her phone and starts looking at some pictures she took on our first date and told me how she told all her friends about it. I told her I had fun to but I didn't tell anybody about my date in which she looked to have gotten a little offended. At the club of all people my sister came to meet me as well (with no invite) to which the girl figured out she was my sister. To make matters worse I ended up getting sick as I hadn't eaten and the alcohol bothered me. The rest of the night is foggy but she messaged me when she got home saying she got home safe. I simply replied the next morning"Happy you got home safe, have a great vacation"

Now she came back from vacation on Saturday and I messaged her Monday to see how it went. Here how it went

me: hey ___, welcome back! how was the Cuba?
her: thanks! it was great!
me: thats great, you even brought back the beautiful weather with you lol! So guess what I received as a souvenir of the night at the hockey game (our first date)
her: yes the sun follows me! haha what did you receive?
me: in that case thanks for bringing the sun lol! I got the credit card that I signed up for to get those gifts from ___ haha - we need to break it in! When are you free to go out again?
her: lol I dunno I'm really sick right now we will see
me: oh your sick? I hope you get better! If you need anything dont be shy to ask
her: Ya I have a bad cold, Thanks!

I stopped answering after this and message her about four days later on Thursday

me: Heyy, warrior princess! (inside joke/nick name) You'll never guess what almost happened to me! I hope your getting over that cold, how you feeling?
her: Hey, Ya I'm a little better but overwhelmed with work.. still working right now actually. What happened?
me: you work this late every night? Your going to need another vacation already! I was on the way to a meeting and crossed the street on a red light (what you warned me not to do) and a cop gave me a warning for jay walking, I thought of you right away lol
her: hahaha!!! and this is when I say "told you so" Anyways I just finished work.. on 2 projects at the same time. I'm dead tired going to bed, Gnite.
Me: yah I deserved that haha Look at you hustling hard finished 2 projects! Have a good night!

I waited now until Sunday and Messaged her "heyy! How's your weekend going?" in which I got no answer. Any advice on where I stand now? I tried limiting my texting convos to a max of 4/5 messages and getting the date. It seems like the 3 weeks since the first date killed a lot of the attraction not to mention some of the mistakes at the club but was still getting her to respond to my messages. Any ideas on what my next move should be?

PS. This girls is 28 and stunning if this makes any difference

 

[oldgame_newplayer]

thanks for the quick response. I will wait until Thursday night to send her a text that is straight to the point.

I only found this forum yesterday after I had been contacting her. I wish I had found it sooner. After reading this thread though, I am not concerned as much of her answering as we frequent the same places, live in the same neighbor hood and have quite a few friends in common. So bumping into her is very likely allowing me to probably hit a "reset" in the future is very likely.

 

[tractorman]

"Think about it honestly: if you had a great date with a girl and she ignored your texts afterwards, would you forget about it after a week? Probably not"

Yes. I would definitely. I'd be out meeting new people and would shelve the non-replier. Just saying.

 

[SgtSplacker]

"Think about it honestly: if you had a great date with a girl and she ignored your texts afterwards, would you forget about it after a week? Probably not"

OK you don't have to forget about it. But you definitely cant pursue her because it just doesn't work. As soon as a girl thinks she is your only option you are not getting anywhere with her. Whatever you do it can't seem like you are pursuing her.

If you just cant grasp this then do what I would do when I first was learning. Take her out then just be unavailable for 2 weeks at least. Take her out, show her a good time then just do something like send her a short text once a week for like 2 weeks so she doesn't forget you. If you disappear on her for like a couple weeks then return she'll know your not some loser waiting for her trim.

 

[Lotus Effect]

I'm just glad I've read the Original Post.

A really good Bump!

 

[The_411]

Update:

After no-contact for a week, I sent a "restart text" and called this girl on Friday and chatted for about 20 min. Got her laughing and while we're at a conversational high I cut the convo short by telling her I was gonna pre-party with friends. She asks what bar, I say I'm not sure yet. She says "I'd actually invite myself but I have work to do."

I take this as a huge IOI and ask how her calendar is this wknd. She says she'd be busy but counteroffered with later next wk after her midterm. I say "sure we'll work something out."

Looks like there's still potential with this one despite it being a month since I last saw her. Shows the importance of no contact while "pinging" with a random text once a week week so you're still on her mind; also I didn't ask her out on our first phone call since our date (to convey non-neediness), and this was only the second phone call.

I assume there is still some interest. Oddly, she never initiates texts but some girls are like that.

The advice here in this thread is gold. As counter-intuitive as it seems, no contact does work!

False IOI with the I'd invite myself but I have work to do. It's not to say that she didn't actually have things to do. However, if she was really interested she'd try to make plans or say hey come get me or I'll meet you at x later.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

The best way to hold interest between first and second dates.... make the first date unbelievable.

-Should (at least) be kiss-closing on the first.
-Should be planning something completely different, fun and exciting for the second.
-Should be getting her to come round for dinner (and possibly stay) on the third.
-Should be getting her to bring her over-night bag on the fourth.

 

[Suspens]

Approached a really hot chick and got her number, here is how it went.

Me: Can I ask your opinion about a girly subject?
HB: Yes.
Me: Is it true that if a girl is attracted to a guy, she wouldn't confuse him or play games. A simple smile could start a new love affair. No pick up line or playful banter is needed. The guy expresses his interest by a friendly smile, and the girl would smile back. And that would be the start of a new friendship.
HB: Haha yes.
Me: Well can you look at my face for a second.
Me:
HB: Hahaha. Well I always have a pleasant smile on my face, so don't take it the wrong way.
Me: You are actually laughing. Give me a call now, this is my number. (I looked at her phone like a nutjob to see whether she was actually calling my number or not, UGH)
HB: What is your name?
Me: Suspens. What's yours.
HB: HB8.5
Me: Cool. Wow, you got such stunning eyes(lol Wtf with this eyes fetish).
HB: haha really?
Me: So when are we going to meet again?
HB: In a rush Suspens, huh?
Me: I know, ok it was nice chatting with you. Bye
HB: Same here, bye.

It was 2 days ago. I think I showed too much eagerness. Any advice on when to text/call and how to recover? She seemed like an experienced girl probably in her mid 20s and with lots of options.

 

[Suspens]

Thanks man, helpful as always. What is preventing me to send a simple hi is the fact that it's a bit simple, not sure if it would get her attention.


Also that "In a rush suspense, huh" comment when I asked when are we going to meet again left a bad impression. Maybe I should delete the number before sending any "first" text at all? She smiled, asked my name etc. All good signs, but that comment was kinda off putting.

EDIT: And btw, she does have my number as she called and saved it. It's been almost 4-5 days and she hasn't sent me a text yet, if she really liked me she would be the first one to start texting huh? Maybe she expected me to text first and now believes I gave her a fake number lol. Will probably delete this one, my gut feeling

 

[Suspens]

Going to give it a try. How about being more direct and skipping the greetings and introduction text?(My name and # is already saved in her contacts) Something like this:

Hey HB, let's hang out this week . Monday would be a good day

EDIT: That would be kinda awkard. Gotta build comfort first.