How To Have Sex With Her Again?

[mrtrinidad]

I made the mistake of trying to have sex with my girl (22), who I cut off for a few weeks because of her unappreciating behaviour. (she thought she had me "whipped" because we use to have sex 3-5 times a week for almost 6 months.)

She asked to see me before I went on a 3 week business trip & I agreed. I brought her over to my house & tried to sleep with her after a few drinks. She rejected me & I lost all control and saying alot of things to hurt her emotionally. I told her that she was good for nothing other than sex & I have always been interested in someone else (which worked as this was the 1st time I have ever seen her break down and cry)

I eventually called back to apologize while on my business trip & she said that maybe in time she will forget. She has emailed and called a few times but our phone conversations have been very different - alot small talk with nobody having anything to say. She used to be very vocal about how she misses me or wants me.

I recently came back and haven't seen her yet .. even though I can't get her off my mind. She stopped calling me since I rejected to meet her a few days ago. Do I really need to be friends with someone who I can't sleep with? Any advice on how to lay her again. I have already slept with a few girls since, but I really miss her on top of the crazy freaky sexual chemistry we shared.

 

[Sir_Turtle]

You used her. she knows. give up. and go elsewhere?

 

[Alexander the Great]

Hey Trinidad,

I don't know you, but it still hurts me to tell you the following. Though I believe it hurts no more than you already hurt yourself with your actions.

You demonstrated low-class behaviour unbefitting a man. You say you lost control but it seems that right now you are still out of control. You say she thought she had you whipped but it appears she was right, even today. You're whipped by the need of her p*ssy. Is her p*ssy so divine?

No man is whipped as long as he doesn't see it this way himself, in which case no woman is capable of destroying his frame by confronting him on this. The very fact that you felt it necessary to dispense retribution for her suspecting you of being whipped is IMO the very proof that you indeed were. As is your current behaviour. You are and have been, in denial.

Respect yourself by not chasing after a girl you grossly messed up with. You apologized for your sub-par behaviour. That was a good thing. However, the ball is in her court now. Consider yourself lucky if she forgives you for your low-class act and if things go back to the way they were. Although I doubt she should be so inclined, for indeed you merely used her for something she probably wasn't just after herself.

Bad behaviour comes back to haunt you and you've experienced proof of that. Respect yourself by withdrawing respectfully. Improve yourself and your needy behaviour. When you do, seek out other venues for your needs.

Control yourself or things will control you, as they obviously do now. Admit that you defeated yourself in this and move on for now. Maybe in the future when things have been covered with the sands of time, there's a chance you'll get back together again. Then again, maybe not.

However, since you ask for advice on how to lay her despite occurences, I say this to you: Any slick moves that will get her in the sack with you after your behaviour, merely shows additional low-class being on your side and her to be damaged and desperate inside if she takes you back after this for just sex.

No person with a healthy mind and self-respect would ever talk to you again after something like this if it's not about a serious thing such as a good LTR, unless you truly slipped up in the moment and your behaviour wasn't indicative of something inherently dishonourable inside you. But seeing that your only desire with this girl is sex (which in itself is not a bad thing at all), being so desperate as to not move on after your obvious f*ck-up shows that you are in serious need of some AFC-cure.

Do you really need to be friends with someone you can't sleep with? Not if sleeping with her is all you want. Men cannot be friends alone with someone they want to be more than friends with.

Lay her again? Feel free to try. But know that if you get her that far, something's seriously wrong inside the both of you with this history behind you two.

Good luck and remember that you are the creator.

 

[DiamondCutter30]

Brother calling her out like that is just as bad as begging for sex. She's Gooooooooooooooooooooooone. You acted like a boy instead of a man bad move you lost status with her. Lesson learned i hope?

 

[mrtrinidad]

Wow..you guys have hit it right on.

I knew i made a mistake but never realized just how bad it was. She did call my behaviour childish but seemed to have forgiven me as we spoke a few times afterwards. I can honestly say this was the worst and only thing have gone through with her (or any one else).

I agree that leaving her alone and learning from this mistake is best for me at this time.

I still can't believe that I blew u like that. Maybe because it was the fact she was constantly trying to get my attention before and I read it wrong. I guess that Make up/going away sex for a woman (especially one who is used to getting attention) is more so on an emotional level than physical.

YES I got caught up with her & only realized after time away from her and with other females just how different she was. Right now she knows from mutual friends that I have been going back out with my boys doing what I used to before I met her.

Guess the best thing to do is move on and let her miss me.

Should I still answer her calls or just ignore her altogether?

 

[Social Calibration]

Wow..you guys have hit it right on.

I knew i made a mistake but never realized just how bad it was. She did call my behaviour childish but seemed to have forgiven me as we spoke a few times afterwards. I can honestly say this was the worst and only thing have gone through with her (or any one else).

I agree that leaving her alone and learning from this mistake is best for me at this time.

I still can't believe that I blew u like that. Maybe because it was the fact she was constantly trying to get my attention before and I read it wrong. I guess that Make up/going away sex for a woman (especially one who is used to getting attention) is more so on an emotional level than physical.

YES I got caught up with her & only realized after time away from her and with other females just how different she was. Right now she knows from mutual friends that I have been going back out with my boys doing what I used to before I met her.

Guess the best thing to do is move on and let her miss me.

Should I still answer her calls or just ignore her altogether?

Trinidad, it's always good to get a fresh pair of eyes on the situation. That's why we're here :]

You can still answer her calls but don't ignore her. You have no reason to, if anything she has a reason to ignore you. Cause you fcked up pretty bad but it's all a learning experience. Now you know.

 

[edger]

I brought her over to my house & tried to sleep with her after a few drinks. She rejected me & I lost all control and saying alot of things to hurt her emotionally.

Rejected you after you tried to sleep with her? F*ck her! She doesn't deserve any sympathy from you. Did she show you any sympathy when she rejected you after you tried to sleep with her? I mean, come on, what kinda girl does that to a guy she's involved with?

I wouldn't have shown her it pissed you off, I just would've cut the night with her. As badly as it pissed you off that she rejected you, I would've not made it obvious to that extent that it got to me. I would've spoke to her about it, but not in a way that would show that it got the best of you. I would've said something like: "Babe, what's with you?" in a playful, but serious sort of way. It sounds like she was pulling a power move on you and testing you, by rejecting your advances. Afterall, she does think you're "p*ssy whipped". On the one hand, I can see the point of a sh*t test given by a woman(her way of making sure she chose a real man, DJ), but at the same time, it's blatant disrespect too to test someone. It's crazy. It's a crazy, unhealthy game, it really is.

 

[mrtrinidad]

Yesterday I saw my ex for coffee. We talked for quite awhile & she has forgiven my behaviour (we blamed it on the alcohol and my issues with never have been rejected).

However, she mentioned that she started seeing this guy who looks like me while I went away on my business trip last month. She started going into details how he was giving her alot of attention before but know he doesn't seem to care about her. I wasn't sure how to respond but I asked her if she had slept with him yet. She said NO. I then mentioned that maybe he was frustated that he wasn't getting anywhere with her. I personally believe that he was another male who got with her at the right time and is playing hard to get after sleeping with her. I tried not to show just how much it cut like a knife to here about this other guy. I now realize that I am getting a taste of my own medicine when I use to make her jealous with my female friends and not being upfront when she asked me if I was sleeping with someone else - when I told her "what difference does that make now".

I'm not sure if she is testing me or has really put me back in a just friends status. I am trying to move on and am not sure if it that is possible with talking to her as a friend during this time. Is there a way of going back to f buddies once you on a friends status?

 

[christz]

it seems to me that men on sosuave for the most part are flipping out when crap doesn't go there way and then backtracking on their words. Why even speak them in the first place then?

Why are you being a female about this, only women act on emotion and you did. NOW you're backtracking and now you're dipping into oneitus. and now you're looking into the signs of if she's doing this or if she's doing that.

i don't get it. What is it that you seek from this woman? because clearly you want to be with her on more levels than just a FB. If you didn't you wouldn't even care and move onto greener pastures.

if you put your foot down you stay the course no matter where it takes you.